Thought I'd try and get one more in. Next one might be about a week. Hope you're enjoying the story.
XXXXX
Chakotay was assaulted by a mixture of intense emotions. He laid there thinking things over for several minutes. Had she really said what he thought she said? Thinking back it certainly made more sense than his jealous theory had. Tom's visits to her quarters were explained. Most things were explained. He felt a jolt of exhilaration as the idea of becoming a father played through his head. Then, suddenly, the icy cold fingers of guilt and regret squeezed at his heart; the things he'd said to her when she told him about the pregnancy, he deserved the slap, he deserved worse, had he witnessed anyone else speaking to her that way he would have worked them over himself. She didn't deserve his reaction to the slap, a reaction that could have killed his own child. He was dizzy, sick, with cold sweat on the back of his neck, his heart was pounding in his ears, he was being strangled by anger toward himself. He slid out from under her, slowly, doing his best not to wake her; he couldn't breathe he had to get out of that room.
XXXXX
Kathryn suddenly felt like she was lost and missing something important. She lifted her head and looked around, it took her a moment to remember where she was. She was on the couch in her living quarters, and she was alone. It was early yet but there was not poing in trying to go back to sleep; she decided to get ready for the day. She sat up and ran her hand along her pillow, where Chakotay's head had been when she fell asleep, and with a small sigh she rose. She could feel the emotions rising within her and the desire to cry, again! Damned hormones! She thought.
The Captain strolled into sick bay to the sounds of an ongoing conversation. "I really can't imagine where it could have gone. No one has checked one out, the medical kits all have the ones that correspond to them, I simply don't understand!" The Doctor was going on while Tom Paris stood there enjoying the Doctor's despair far too much.
"Are you looking for this Doctor?" Kathryn handed the Doctor a medical tricorder.
"Why, yes, where did you find it?" The Doctor was puzzled
"In my quarters."
"What was it doing there?"
"Assisting the Captain, Doctor. Now could you please clear me for duty, I have a ship to run." She responded sharply.
As the Doctor began his scan Tom spoke, "I hope you don't mind that I wanted to be here Captain… where's Chakotay, I thought he wasn't letting you out of his sight until the Doc cleared you?"
"I don't know Tom, he was gone this morning. It's alright; he doesn't have to be here." He could see the sadness in her eyes even though her facial expression revealed nothing.
"Computer, locate Commander Chakotay." Tom demanded.
The computer responded, "Commander Chakotay is in holodeck 2." Tom left sickbay intending to have a few words with Chakotay.
A few minutes later Tom and Chakotay materialized in sickbay. "I had to have him transported; I couldn't drag him all the way." Tom immediately started grabbing medical tools, he handed the doctor a tricorder, and started working with a dermal regenerator to fix the mass of swollen flesh that had been Chakotay's face.
"What happened?" Kathryn jumped off of her own biobed and ran to Chakotay's side. She let out a cry at the sight of his bloodied, distorted face. The lumps of swollen flesh were shiny and unnaturally black and all shades of blues. His eyelids were swollen baseballs blocking access to his eyes; his mouth bulging and bloody with asymmetrical lumps on either side. He would have been unrecognizable if it weren't for his tattoo.
"He was fighting with himself all night." Tom quipped
"This is no time for jokes Mister Paris." The Captain admonished.
"It's no Joke Captain! He programed himself in as a boxing opponent, took the safety protocols off, and as far as I can tell he fought with himself all night; the program was still running when I walked in." Paris' explanation didn't make Kathryn feel any better. He was punishing himself again, she thought. She had been convinced he had worked through that; he had seemed okay the day before.
"How bad is it Doctor?" Worried for her warrior she didn't bother to hide her distress.
"He'll live, Captain," then mumbling he said, "barely." And continued, "By the way your scans were fine you're free resume your duties. The Commander, however, might be here a while." Feeling as if she was being shooed away she frowned at the Doctor.
"Doc, I was going to the planet surface today, I can only stay a few minutes more, what can I help you with while I'm here?" Offered Tom.
"I've got it Lieutenant Paris, you can leave too." The doctor responded briskly.
Kathryn hesitated, Chakotay needed her but her ship and needed her too. "Keep me informed, Doctor."
Kathryn returned to the bridge, she asked for status updates, collected reports and piled them high on her desk. She then made a point of visiting all the ships departments. She was distinctly aware of the hush that came over the crew when they saw her and of all the eyes that followed her. The rumors must have been worse than Harry reported, but the Captain went along naturally, asking crew members for updates and reports, as if she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.
On her way to the mess hall for lunch Kathryn stopped by sick bay for an update from the Doctor and found Chakotay calling her name. "He's not fully conscience Captain, he took some severe blows to the head and face. I've been working on some of his more severe injuries in order to prevent permanent damage to his brain, but the broken nose and cheek bones have had to wait. I worked on his jaw just enough so he can speak but with all the tissue damage in his face I'm not sure why he'd want to."
Chakotay grumbled something that sounded like, "Kathrun… siry… prees … Kathrun."
"He's incoherent Captain, I'll give him another sedative, It's better he keep still for now." The Doctor looked from Chakotay to the Captain. "Shall I check your vital signs Captain? It's not good for you to experience high levels of stress in your state."
"I'm the Captain of a starship Doctor, stress is part of the job." She managed a small smile that didn't quite match the rest of her face. She leaned down close to Chakotay's ear and whispered to him, "What were you thinking? I need you to get better, I need my first officer. That's an order Commander." She kissed the side of his face and straightened up. After a moment of gathering herself and dabbing at tears that hadn't quite fallen, she headed out to the mess hall for lunch.
She chose to sit in her usual quiet corner of the room, watching, as she usually did. She didn't get much gossip that day because it didn't take long for people to notice her sitting there. Neelix hovering around her offering her food items and asking her a barrage of questions regarding her health and whereabouts didn't help either. Everyone in the room was trying to eavesdrop on her conversation instead of engaging in their own. She gave up on lunch in the mess hall and decided to go back to the towers of PADDs in her ready room. She spent the afternoon going over diagnostic and personnel reports; she worked until the early evening hours.
XXXXX
Kathryn Janeway entered sickbay and with her smooth quick steps almost seemed to glide over to Chakotay. "How are you feeling Commander?"
"Like I went 12 rounds with a Toskanar dog." Responded Chakotay.
"Close, more like 12 rounds with an angry Native American warrior." Her disapproving tone lingering in the air between them.
"Oh, you heard." Chakotay looked down at his hands. "Kathryn we really need to talk. I've been… well I've… I got it all wrong Kathryn. I'd like to talk; Dinner, tonight?" He asked hopefully.
"What if we just get you back to your quarters and go from there, Commander." Her voice was soft and cautious.
"Doctor," Captain Janeway turned to face the EMH that was obviously eavesdropping, despite his attempts to look busy, "is the Commander free to leave?"
"Yes, Captain but I'd like to see him, again, in a couple of days. Just to make sure everything has healed correctly."
"Understood, Doctor." The order was acknowledged and the Doctor was happy, twice now a member of the Command Team would be making the other member comply with the Doctor's orders, this must be a record of some sort.
Kathryn entered Chakotay's quarters with him and was suddenly uncomfortable. "I should go, you're fine and I don't need to be your warden you aren't confined to quarters." She smiled at him as she spoke.
"No, we need to talk. Things got… confused. You need to know, it's important. We've had a serious misunderstanding and I don't want that to happen ever again." Chakotay didn't want to take any chances. He wanted to clear things up right away. "If you prefer it we can do this in your quarters, but we have to talk."
"Okay Chakotay, we can talk, but just know that I don't expect anything, and about the last two nights, I am sorry I was just feeling… emotional. It won't happen again. You made it clear how you felt about me coming to your bed, the night I told you I was pregnant. If you tolerated me because you felt guilty about hurting me you don't need to worry anymore, I'm fine now."
"Oh Kathryn, that's not what I meant, I mean… I was wrong… I was confused… I was a jealous old fool! I want you to come to me… anytime..."
"Bridge to Janeway, please report to the bridge Captain, we have a situation." Tuvok's voice cut in, interrupting one of the most important conversations of Chakotay's life.
"On my way!" answered the Captian.
"Oh spirits! Wait…" Exclaimed Chakotay as he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back, "I love you, Kathryn Janeway, even if I've been too stupid to show it." He took her in his arms and dipped her over-dramatically and gave her a passionate kiss. After a few moments he released a very stunned Captain Janeway and said, "Now let's get to the bridge and find out what the hell is going on."