AN: We're back with another chapter, and this time, it's in the DOUBLE DIGITS! :D

Firstly, I want to thank you all for encouraging me with your wonderful reviews to continue my story. I'm happy you all love it, and I'm so glad all of you take the time to review. If everyone reading this story would review for each chapter, we would have a lot of reviews. But I'm not complaining, I'm grateful as it is. ;v;

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH. 3

Sorry for the wait, so let's get started! (I'm not bothering to do the disclaimer this time, because Ciel wants to fudgin' kill me. Literally. He's still grumpy without his Tsunami around. T^T)

Edited: A review from Paxloria made me realize how crappy this chapter was, so I redid it. If you're not busy, then check out Paxloria's page! Especially if you like Harry Potter and Kuroshitsuji! (wink!) Warning: I did not read over it a second time, so there will probably be some errors.

Memorial Scars: Chapter 10

There could've been so many other people that he could've lost in his life. He could've lost Lizzy, Bard, Edward, or even Aunt Frances for all he cared. Why, out of all the people that he could've have been taken away, why did it have to be Tsunami? Why her?

Even after Sebastian had left to try and get Tsunami back, Ciel refused to move from Tsunami's room. He was still sitting on the floor, feeling like part of him had died inside. He wanted to weep, but there was no point in it. What use was there to crying? He couldn't cry—he had no tears to shed. Instead, a terrible feeling of hollowness and death was so much worse than tears—it was a thousand times worse. You wouldn't be able to understand until you truly felt it yourself.

He was mindlessly staring off into space, a wrinkled note clutched tightly in his pale hands. It was written by none other than his beloved Tsunami, and imagined she wrote it before she was whisked away by Maesta. It broke his heart into pieces when he read it, but at the same time, it strongly fueled Ciel's desire to save her.

The letters written on it were squiggly and shaky, as if Tsunami's own hand was shaking and twitching as she wrote it. On the paper were dark spots and splotches that indicated she was crying, and her tears had dripped onto the paper. It was written—

Dear my beloved Ciel,

I'm so, so sorry.

I'm sorry I have to leave you. I'm sorry if you can't read this very well, but I'm shaking so hard I can't stop my hands from shaking as well. I'm sorry my tears are making this paper all weird. I promised myself I would never, ever cry again, but it seems it's been harder and harder not to cry these days. Sorry…

I have to go. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to stay here with you. Please don't risk your life to try and come after me. You'll only kill yourself, and if you were dead, I wouldn't want to stay in this world anymore. You're my reason to live, so please, don't die coming after me.

I wish I could've warned you sooner. I wished we could've gone somewhere, but it was still so nice just talking and spending time with you, and I don't regret it. I'm sorry I messed up your relationship with Ms. Lizzy, as that was unfair for her, and I was just being too selfish for my own good. It would be better if you had never met me.

So please, forget about me… I just destroyed your life, and I hate myself for it. I'm sorry… I can't stop apologizing for all the things I've done…

I'm really sorry… Because I'll never stop loving you.

Love,

Tsunami

The paper was no longer dry—it was wet, and Ciel's face felt wet too… It's not raining, Ciel thought. I'm crying. Ciel's tears were dripping slowly onto the paper, wetting it once again. There were even more splotches on it now, and they were from his own eyes. He hadn't cried in the longest time, so his eyes felt rather weird, like they were awakening again. Dammit, He scolded himself. You can't cry, Ciel. You can't cry.

He would've never thought Tsunami would've affected him so much. They had only been together for a short period of time. He remembered when she was first brought here, she looked absolutely pitiful, and she was stubborn and refused to answer his questions. She had also grown in the time they had been together as well. He himself was changing because of her, and he didn't even mind. He felt better, lighter when he was like that. He truly loved her, and wanted her to stay by his side for all eternity. He wasn't about to give up on that wish. He was going to make it come true.

He wiped his tears away and blinked several times, healing his dry eyes. He rubbed them and grabbed his eye patch off the floor, and brushed the dust off of it. He put it on (to the best of his ability) and knotted it. He ran his fingers through his messy hair to neaten it, and swallowed to refresh his dry throat. He took in a deep breath and his hands were brought in a fist. He stood up and stared determinedly at the window were Tsunami had been captured. He was no longer going to play around. He was deathly serious.

All of a sudden, Sebastian had come back through the open window. He had just appeared there, and he had a huge, ugly, bloody gash on the right side of his torso. He had a hand on it, and the glove he was wearing was getting bloodstained because of how heavily the fresh wound was bleeding. Fortunately, Ciel could see the wound start to regenerate, but only slowly. It was shocking for Ciel to see Sebastian in such a state, even if it was just a wound. It was serious, because Sebastian had never truly been in actual pain like this before.

"Sebastian!" Ciel exclaimed, watching Sebastian heal. "What on earth happened?!" He walked up to the dazed Sebastian and shook him by his shoulders, and that was what he needed to wake himself from his haze of pain and actually focus his energy on healing his gash. It started to heal much fast now that Sebastian was concentrating on it, and soon enough, it was healed to perfection. Sebastian was standing flawlessly in front of his young master, except his torn butler suit and the dark blood stain on it. He removed his bloody gloves from his hands and threw them away, exposing the contract seal and his black nails. He conjured up another pair of snow white gloves from his breast pocket and placed them back on his hands, where they belonged.

"I deeply apologize, young master. I wasn't able to save Ms. Tsunami," Sebastian apologized, slightly downcast at his failure. Ciel clicked his tongue and snapped impatiently, "I don't care! I don't know why but I didn't expect you to actually get her back! Follow orders and tell me what happened!" He was in a bad mood now, and even a dunce could see that. Sebastian nodded, unfazed by his master's moodiness.

"Of course, my lord. This is actually all very intriguing, and I have a hunch on what they are—because I believe not all of them are human," The black butler admitted. The young master raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. "Firstly, the woman, Maesta, I know for a fact isn't human. She switched dimensions to escape me, and attacked me with fire magic, with is witchcraft. This is all the information I need to know she is a witch," He informed. Ciel gasped, "A witch? I thought none of them were alive anymore?" "I thought so too," Sebastian agreed. "But it turns out they are not quite extinct yet." "Damn," Ciel cursed under his breath, deep in thought.

So Maesta is a witch? I know nothing about witches, but I might be able to get some info on them. I've never had any enemies like this, excluding those stupid death gods. I don't think one of them is a demon, but if one of them is… That's not going to be good for us, Ciel pondered. He thought about the situation for a couple more seconds before talking to Sebastian again.

"First, change your bloody clothes. Then, come to my office. We have to talk." Ciel's voice was short and clipped, and this said he was beginning to revert by to his old self—the haunted, cold one—but what could he do about it? If that's what he had to do to save Tsunami, he'll willingly do it.

On the outside, he looked painless in every way. On the inside, he was badly hurting. He didn't want to look weak and pitiful to everyone—he wouldn't let himself look like that. He desperately wanted to be seen as a grown up, and looking pitiful wasn't going to improve his chances. I wonder what Tsunami would think if she knew, He wondered. What would Tsunami say? Ciel, you don't have to be grow up. I love you just as you are, is what she would say, but she wasn't here to say that. That's why he had to hurry up and man up and leave his dejected feelings behind him and lock them in a box.

MSMSMS

"It about time, Sebastian!" Ciel was in his office, sitting behind his desk in his chair. A serious look was pasted on his as he looked at Sebastian as he was bowed. Sebastian was no longer wearing the dirty suit, and had changed into his spare butler suit. Ciel commanded, "Firstly, tell me if you suspect anyone of being a demon." That was what was worrying him most at the moment, so naturally he asked that first. Ciel was being and feeling more and more impatient by the seconds, disliking having to wait more than three seconds. This had not gone unnoticed by the one and only Sebastian Michaelis.

"A demon?" Sebastian wondered, thinking. "Ah, yes. I would say Mors." Ciel's eyes widened, his fear being confirmed. "Mors? Bloody bad luck," Ciel hissed under his breath. "Tell me more," He ordered. "Well," Sebastian began, "Mors was a demon king, and he's the strongest demon we demons have ever seen. He's supposed to be dead, but seeing that he's still alive, I guess not anymore." Ciel frowned, not liking where this was headed. He waved at Sebastian for him continue, but he stopped mid-wave. Sebastian noticed this and gave him a questioning look.

"Wait," Ciel said. "Does… I mean, doesn't this make Mors much more powerful than you?" Ciel asked hesitantly. Sebastian stiffened up, and shifted uncomfortably, but spoke regardless. "Yes, unfortunately, he is much, much stronger than me, by a long shot," Sebastian admitted stiffly. Ciel noticed he didn't want to admit it, but since they had a contract and he was ordered to always tell the truth, he couldn't avoid answering.

"Tch…That's going to be a big problem…" Ciel hissed. "Anyway, we don't have time to worry about such matters. I heard you say 'was'. Is he still not a demon king? Well, I guess if he was, he would in the demon realm and not act as a human… What's going on?" Ciel asked.

"Actually, he was a demon king about eight thousand years ago. He was executed by his on people because he tried to create life. He paired up with a fellow death god and brought souls back from the dead. I don't know of his reasons, but I do know trying to create life is punishable by death, even with demons. After he was killed, he was sealed in a demonic coffin and sent to another dimension. If he was still alive, which I guess he was, there was a seal to force him back into the coffin. I suppose he was powerful enough to even withstand that…" Sebastian finished, trailing off into silence.

"Hm…" Ciel commented, thinking. He must be extremely powerful. To destroy the seal, deflect the powers of the demonic coffin, change dimensions, and still be alive. I can't underestimate Judgement at all. I have to look more into this… I should take a visit to the Undertaker tomorrow, He thought. Even though I seriously do not look forward to entertaining him, I must. I don't think he'll let Sebastian cover for me again… He grimaced.

"Tell me more about Mors. What is he like?" Ciel inquired. Sebastian replied, "Well, he is quite the mass murderer. He has been in a demon war before, and he even ended up killing some of his comrades in the process. Some humans were murdered as well, and that created quite a scene. The demon army was forced to kill all witnesses." Ciel made a disgusted face, and mumbled, "Disgusting demon."

"Agreed," Sebastian said. "Actually, I should tell you that he is an extremely greedy person, and will go to extreme extents to get what he wants. He doesn't care about friends," He informed Ciel. Ciel nodded, and mumbled again, "This demon is disgusting. Mors…"

"Is that all?" Ciel questioned. "Yes, my lord," Sebastian answered. "Wait," Ciel interrupted. "Do you have any idea who the death god assisting Mors might've been?" Sebastian pondered his question for a couple of seconds before answering. "Well, I'm certain it's not Ronald Knox, or… Grell," Sebastian hissed, and to him, saying Grell's name felt disgusting. He made a face but quickly composed himself. "Yes, it can't possibly be those two idiots," Ciel insulted. "That will be all. We shall start investigating tomorrow," He finished shortly.

Sebastian bowed, and asked politely, "Do you wish to sleep?" Ciel replied, "In a bit. I'll call you when I'm ready. You're dismissed." Sebastian bowed, and walked out. After Ciel waited a couple of seconds, he walked out the door as well, heading toward the living room.

(AN: Quick note. Yes, uber emotional OOC moment coming up. But if you listen to music while you read [like me] and are a CLANNAD fan, listen to dango daikazoku music box or the piano version. THE FEELS ARE INTENSE. T^T And if you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out on YouTube! Now! Or whatever emotional song you wanna listen too… Or if you already are, just ignore this.)

He was walking through the empty hallways, and barely noticed his three servants ahead of him, murmuring among themselves. They shut up when they saw Ciel walking in their direction. Ciel stumbled to the right to make sure he didn't crash into them, and kept his icy stare ahead, fixed. He walked straight past his silent servants without saying a word, and before he was completely out of their view, Finni yelled, "Master!" Ciel stopped walking, and without turning back to look at him, he asked in a monotone voice, "What?" There was a five second silent before Ciel turned around to answer them.

"She's gone!" Was all he said.

He walked away as soon as he said it, leaving his servants behind him.

He plopped down onto the couch where he and Tsunami had sat together. He felt a hollow feeling in his stomache, and his heart. He thought, stop feeling this way. I'm not that much of a sissy. He felt a burning sensation in the back of his eyes, and he hurriedly blinked them back. I will never cry. I cannot cry. I have no time to cry. Tsunami would say, "Ciel, it's okay to cry." Tsunami… Tsunami…I promised myself I would never cry again…

His eyes were blurred with tears, dripping down his mournful face one by one. He tried his hardest to blink them back, but it burned to resist. A river of tears flowed from his eyes, his dam finally breaking. Holding in all of his emotions was too much for him. I'm crying. Dammit, why am I crying?! I don't want to cry! He couldn't take it… He couldn't take it. He wasn't able to stay positive without Tsunami by his side… Knowing she was gone and having her taken away from him felt so much worse than he thought. Dammit, He thought. Stop being so emotional! NOW. He couldn't, though. He loves Tsunami too much.

He really, really needed her—emotionally and physically. When he met her, a little flame sparked in his chest. He felt so warm, content, and wanted when he was with her. She was his true reason to live. He had never met a person like her, and without her in his life, he felt hollow and unhappy. He wished she could be there with him, but she couldn't. She was captured, and it was his entire fault. He was the reason she was captured. If only he had been there… If only he had been there with her… Or even be captured too, so she wouldn't have to suffer alone—but Sebastian would get him back at the very least. He wouldn't be able to stay with her.

"Tsu-Tsunami," He sobbed, crying tears from both eyes. He held his breath, trying to stop him from crying, but he just ended up hiccupping. He tried to take deep breaths, and used his sleeves as tissues. If someone saw him like this, he would die in a pit of shame…What would they say to him…?

He knew his Aunt Frances would say, "You are a man, Ciel! Star acting like it!"

…What would Lizzy say? Hm, she would say, "Cheer up, Ciel. Your cute fiancé is here for you. 3" Of course she would.

How about his parents?…Well, he wouldn't know. He didn't even remember them in the first place. All he remembered was torture, unfortunately…

Ah, her majesty queen Victoria. Yes, what about her? "My darling Ciel, you have to stop crying. You have a job to complete, right? You are a Phantomhive! You'll get her back soon, I promise."…Yeah, not that much comfort from her.

His servants…The servants of Phantomhive. "Man up, Ciel. In war, there's no time for crying," Bard would say. "Y-You d-don't h-have t-to c-cry, C-Ciel!" Finni would sniffle, because he would be crying with him. "It's OK, Ciel. We'll get her back, right?" Maylene would say, but still have a worried face.

No one told him to give up! No one would tell him to cry! They all supported him!

As much as he wanted to mourn and cry, he wouldn't.

He would not cry.

He would not mourn.

He would not scream, want, or become depressed.

His only goal was to save her, and now that was all he had in his mind.

AN: OH MY GLOB. I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LATENESS DAMMIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS JUST SO HARD TO WRITE….!

Sorry if the chapters get worse and worse, because they're getting harder and harder to write. I promise I'll try my best, and try to get them finished by the day I uploaded the last one! I will make a commitment!

SORRY FOR ANY GRAMMATICAL OR SPELLING MISTAKES AND STUFF, IF THERE IS ANY! D:

Edit: Yes, since the original fudging sucked, I tried my best to improve it. Thank you.

Review? For encouraging Ciel?