Cas groans softly as he slowly wakes up. "Morning baby," Dean murmurs. "How ya feeling?"

"Everything hurts," he whispers, his voice rough. "Why does everything hurt?"

A gentle hand runs through his hair, and he sighs softly. "You had a pretty rough night. Do you remember anything?"

Cas thinks for a minute, hazy memories starting to surface. He nods slightly, stifling a groan as his stiff muscles protest. "A little bit. How bad is it?"

"Well, he did some serious damage, but Benny says you should be okay. You probably won't feel too great for a little while, but hopefully we can make you comfortable enough. At least your classes are over for the summer, so you don't have to worry about that."

Cas sighs. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

"Don't," he interrupts. "It's not your fault. I'm just glad that you came to me when you needed help. And I'm sorry. I should have listened to you."

"It's not your fault either. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't overreacted. I was just…jealous, I guess."

Dean chuckles, kissing his head softly. "Well it's neither of our faults, then. So let's just focus on getting you better, okay?" Cas glances up at him and nods, smiling as he slowly leans up to kiss him softly. Dean sighs, resting his forehead against Cas'. "I don't think I've ever been so afraid in my life. Don't ever scare me like that again, okay?"

Cas grins. "I'll do my best."

His stomach growls, and Dean laughs. "First things first, let's feed you. Think you can sit up?"

It takes a little bit of help, but eventually Cas manage to get to his feet, slipping his arm around Dean's shoulders for support as they make their way slowly into the kitchen. He stops short, almost losing his balance when he sees the man seated at the kitchen table. "Benny. You're still here."

Benny chuckles and shrugs. "Looks that way. Your boyfriend is a chicken." Dean makes a sound of protest as he gently sets Cas down in a chair, making a face at him as he laughs. Benny frowns over at Dean, looking him up and down. "Maybe you oughta get cleaned up, brother."

Cas follows his gaze, realizing for the first time that Dean hasn't changed since last night, his clothes and hands still stained with Cas' blood. There's even a little streak of it up near his eyebrow where it must have rubbed off. "He's right, Dean. Go take a shower. I'll be fine for a little while."

Dean gives him a disbelieving look, but Cas waves him off. Benny gives a soft chuckle. "You heard him. I know you like being an overprotective mother, but I'm sure I can look after your boy for fifteen minutes. Besides, I'm sure he'd appreciate you not being covered in his blood." Dean gives him a sour look, but nods, leaning down to kiss Cas softly before disappearing down the hall. Cas sighs, studying the table for a few minutes, and when he looks up he finds Benny staring at him thoughtfully. He almost says something, but Benny gets to it first. "Coffee?" he offers. Cas smiles, nodding, and taking the cup that's offered to him. "So, how're you doing?"

He shrugs. "All things considered? I'm…not dead, thanks to you."

Benny snorts, getting up from the table to start digging through the fridge. "Well that's certainly a good sign."

It's quiet again as he watches the older man make eggs and bacon, humming softly to himself. Finally, Cas takes a deep breath. "Hey, Benny?" he murmurs. The other man turns. "I just…I'm really sorry about yesterday. I know the way I acted was…rude, to say the least. I have some issues, I guess, and hearing about your relationship with Dean might have stirred them a little. It was uncalled for. I'm sorry."

Benny smiles, turning away from the stove to face him, leaning back against the counter. "You don't have to apologize, kid. I understand. I probably could have chosen my words a little more carefully."

"No, it's not your fault," Cas insists. "I just…I have this thing where I find it really hard to believe that I deserve to have him. I was mad that you two worked so perfectly together, and I guess I got scared that he'd realize he deserved better than me. But even after I was rude to you, you still came to help me. And not just because he asked. You were really nice to me. I mean, it's all still a little fuzzy, but I do remember you holding my hand and telling me it was going to be okay. You didn't have to do that."

Benny shrugs, taking three plates out of the cabinet and starting to put food on them. "You're right, I didn't have to. But I wanted to. You were right about one thing, Cas. I do love him. But not the same way you do. I didn't help you just because he asked me to. I came because Dean loves you, and that's good enough for me. He cares about you, and so do I." He pauses, setting the plates down on the table before taking his seat again. "Besides," he smiles, "You asked me to hold your hand. How could I say no to that?"

Cas chuckles, nodding. "Yeah, I thought I might've. Sorry."

"There's no need for that. You trusted me. Maybe not as much as you trust him, but enough." He gives a thoughtful pause. "You really do trust him. I mean, we should all trust our partners, but relationships like yours are few and far between."

Cas smiles to himself, feeling himself go red a little. "Why do you say that?"

Benny shrugs. "You asked him for your collar when you were scared. For most people that would only make things worse. But you felt better. It's something he used to do with me when he was upset."

Cas looks up at him, surprised. "I didn't know that. But I'm glad he trusted you the way I trust him. Lord knows he needed someone. Really Benny, thank you, for everything."

"Any time," he answers, stabbing his fork through his eggs before looking up again. "And by the way, you know that thing you have about what you deserve? Dean's got that too. Has ever since I've known him, back when he was a scrappy little punk getting his ass handed to him. So I think he'd understand how you feel. But I know he's crazy about you. And I'd never try to get in the way of that."

Cas smiles gratefully. "I know."

They eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Dean returns, hair still wet from the shower but refreshingly clean of bloodstains. "There you are, brother," Benny teases him. "I told you I could take care of your pup. Look, I even fed him."

Dean laughs, looking suspiciously between the two of them for a moment. "Yeah, you're a real natural, Benny. I miss anything interesting?"

Cas shakes his head, grinning as he glances back at Benny. "Nope. Nothing at all."

"Huh. Well that's good I guess. So, what's the plan?"

"Well," Benny answers, "I figured I'd take another look at Cas' back before I head home, make sure it's doing alright. Hopefully it'll be good enough that you can start putting the numbing cream on it. That should help make you more comfortable." Dean frowns a little, and Benny chuckles. "Don't worry, I'll teach you everything you need to know. And I can always come back, you big baby. Now sit down and eat."

Dean grumbles, but takes a seat beside Cas, reaching over to thread their fingers together. "So," he asks after a minute, "Do you remember anything about the guy who did this to you?"

Cas thinks for a moment. "Not much. I remember he was kind of short, and he was wearing a nice suit. He had an accent, something European. Like…Irish. Or maybe Scottish. But I don't remember his name, if he gave me one."

"You know who it sounds like…" Benny says quietly.

Dean glances up at him and frowns. "You don't think…

Benny shrugs. "Would you put something like this past him?"

"No," Dean sighs. "I wouldn't."

Cas glances between the two of them, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"We…might have an idea about who it was. There's a guy who's…pretty infamous in certain circles," Benny answers. "I'll see what I can find out and let you know. But for now, let's have a look, shall we?" Cas nods, shifting around in his chair to face Dean, exposing his back to Benny, who starts carefully cutting through the bandage. The older man looks up, chuckling softly at his tense posture. "Easy, Cas. It shouldn't be too bad. Maybe Dean can help you relax over there."

Dean grins, scooting closer and leaning in to kiss him softly. Cas makes a surprised sound, but relaxes into the kiss, pressing closer to him as Benny gently removes the bandages. "I'm not sure this is what he meant, Dean," Cas murmurs, tilting his head to the side as Dean's lips migrate down his neck.

"It's working, isn't it?" Dean chuckles. "How we doing back there Benny?"

Benny snickers. "We're doing just fine, don't mind me. I'm going to try to numb the ones that didn't break the skin. When the other ones scab over we can numb those too, but it should help a little bit. Cas, it's going to feel tingly for a minute."

Cas nods, staying still as he carefully spreads the cream over his back. He shivers a little at the cold, but sighs in relief as it takes effect. "Thanks. That's a lot better."

"Good," he murmurs back, finishing up. "Well, it's looking good. Swelling went down at least. I'm going to wrap it up again for now. Today I want you to take it easy. You can take Tylenol if you want to, and tomorrow Dean can help you wash up and let it air out."

"I can?" Dean interjects.

Benny chuckles. "Yes, you can. It's real simple. Just sit him down in the bathtub and let warm water run over it to get the residue off. You don't even have to touch it. It might sting a little at first, but it shouldn't be that bad. I know you don't wanna hurt him, but if you don't keep it clean it'll be a lot worse. Then just leave it as it is and let it dry out. You're gonna be just fine, Cas. And I'm not far if you need anything."

"Thank you, Benny," Cas murmurs, glancing over his shoulder.

Benny smiles, ruffling his hair lightly. "Any time, kiddo. Now, it's about time I got out of your hair. You two kids have fun. You know where to find me."

Cas gives a small wave as he leaves, and Dean looks down at him, puzzled. "What's that about?" he asks.

"What?"

Dean makes a vague motion towards the door. "I thought you didn't like him. That looked downright friendly."

"I changed my mind," Cas answers, shrugging. "I might have been a little hasty. He's a good guy."

Slowly, a smile spreads across Dean's face. "Yeah, he is. I'm glad you reconsidered."

Cas grins, leaning forward to hug him tightly. "So, are we just going to sit at the kitchen table all day?"

"No," Dean chuckles. "You are going to come back to bed with me, and I am going to cuddle you into oblivion."

Cas laughs so loudly that it catches even him off guard. "The manliest words ever spoken. That's going on your gravestone."

"Hey!" Dean protests, trying to cover his grin. "Manly men like cuddling too. Especially when they've been through a night like ours. Come on, you goofball." He gently pulls Cas to his feet, supporting most of his weight as they make it back to bed. Once there, Dean sets him down gently, climbing in beside him and pulling him close, careful not to touch anywhere near his bandages.

Cas sighs softly, resting his head against Dean's chest until he works up the courage to look up at him. "Hey Dean?"

"Hm?"

He bites his lip for a moment. "Are you mad at me?"

Dean frowns, lifting his chin until he looks up. "No baby, of course not. Why would I be mad at you?"

Cas gives a half-hearted shrug, looking away. "I don't know. Maybe because I was rude to Benny, or because I got drunk, or because I was dumb enough to go home with some stranger. I've messed up a lot in the last twenty-four hours. Take your pick."

"Cas, look at me," Dean murmurs. He waits patiently until Cas glances up. "I am not at all mad at you. Yes, you made some bad decisions, and I'm sorry that you got hurt because of them. But I understand why you did what you did. Hell, I've done what you did. You were angry and upset. I know that. I'm the king of making bad decisions out of anger, remember? I wish you hadn't gotten hurt so badly for yours, but I'm glad that you came to me when you needed help. I could never be mad at you for something like that."

Cas smiles, relieved, and leans up to kiss him softly. "I love you, Dean."

"I love you too. Now, can you relax for a little while?"

He nods, resting contently against Dean's chest and listening to his steady heartbeat. "Dean? Will you tell me a story?"

Dean chuckles. "A story about what?"

"I'd like to hear more about you and Benny. I know you told me about the first time, but it's interesting."

"I'm sure I could manage that," Dean answers, stroking a hand through his hair. "What do you want to know?"

Cas thinks about it for a moment. "You're very close to him. Was it always like that? Was it…easy, once you found him?"

Dean considers the question. "No, not always. I mean, parts of it were easy. I was used to following orders and that kind of thing from living with my dad. But other parts were harder at first."

"Like what?" Cas asks curiously.

Dean hesitates. "Well…there were challenges. After that many years, I wasn't really used to affection. It made me edgy, and you've seen Benny. He's an affectionate guy. Knowing where I came from, Benny was careful with me. He insisted on praising me all the time, and even when I acted out he was really careful about my punishments. He was more gentle with me than I thought I deserved, and I was just waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. I was convinced he would turn on me one day. So yeah, it took me a long time to learn to trust him."

"Well, I can imagine why," Cas murmurs. "I wouldn't blame you for being cautious. So what finally convinced you?"

He sighs, shrugging. "Well, Benny was slowly but surely breaking through my shell. He wanted me to really feel things, which I hadn't done in a long time. This one day I went over to his house, and I'd had kind of a rough day, but I didn't want him to know. So I was in his playroom, just kneeling on the floor, and this belt caught my eye. I'd been going down there for weeks at this point, and it had always been there, but for some reason that day it just set me off. I had a really violent flashback about my dad."

Cas gasps softly, frowning. "That sounds horrible."

Dean nods. "It was really bad, and I didn't even know where I was. When I finally snapped out of it, I was in the middle of a panic attack, and I couldn't breathe. But Benny was right there with me. He was kneeling on the floor in front of me, just holding onto me. He'd wrapped a blanket around me at some point, and he just held me and talked me through it until I could breathe again. He was so patient, just waiting until I'd calmed down and figured out where I was. He told me I was safe, and that he wasn't going to let anyone hurt me. I remember looking up at him and being so surprised at the concern on his face. I realized he really cared about me. He was worried. And then I realized he was bleeding."

"Bleeding?" Cas asks, puzzled.

Dean chuckles. "Yeah. I guess I was still pretty deep into my flashback when he got to me, and I hit him pretty hard by accident. But he didn't even really seem to notice. So that's when I decided to trust him. He was so concerned, and he made me feel safe. Besides, I kinda owed him that much after I hit him in the face and he didn't get mad. But I didn't really know all of that until after, when I saw the tape."

"The tape? He filmed it?"

"Well, yeah," Dean shrugs. "He used to tape our sessions sometimes so he could show me different things, since I wouldn't notice them much in the moment. After I'd calmed down a little, I asked him if I could see it. And I realized that he wasn't going to turn on me." He chuckles. "I turned around and hugged him, and he was in shock. He got me to talk about it a little bit, and I told him that I was afraid he'd disappear. He gave me his collar that day. He said he'd wanted to make it a special moment, but if I was that afraid then I needed something to remember the commitment he made to me." He pauses for a moment, smiling at the memory. "He's always been good like that. Benny just…always knew how to talk to me in a way I'd listen to."

Cas makes a thoughtful sound, nodding slowly. "Yeah. He is good at that. I'm really glad you found him."

"So you don't hate him anymore?" Dean asks. Cas chuckles, shaking his head. "Well that's good. I don't know if anyone else could have handled me back then. He's certainly good at what he does. He has a talent for dealing with people."

Cas nods. "So what happened after? Did you still have flashbacks?"

Dean chuckles. "Well, things were a little easier after. I did for a while, but Benny worked on it with me until I could deal with it."

Cas sits up so fast he winces at the movement. "Are you saying he used the belt on you?"

"A couple of times," Dean nods. "Enough to break me of my fear of it. Not often after that, though. He knows I've never really been able to like it. But I was able to tolerate it without freaking out. He knows what he's doing." He pauses while Cas considers this. "Hey Cas? How much do you remember about what happened?"

"Not everything," he answers quietly. "But I have a lot of pieces. Do you think that's bad? Do you think he did something to me?" he asks worriedly.

Dean shakes his head. "No, I think you're okay. You probably don't remember because you were scared and in a lot of pain. What do you remember?"

Cas thinks. "I remember talking to him at the bar. He bought me drinks. And I remember being in his house. It started off okay, but then he got out of hand. I tried using my safeword and telling him to stop, but he wouldn't. I remember screaming a lot. Or, at least, it feels like I screamed a lot. I think I passed out a couple of times, but when I woke up he was still there. And then the last time I woke up he was gone. I was on the floor and he'd cut off the ropes. So I managed to pull myself up and get my clothes on and I left. I have no idea where I was, but somehow I ended up at your door."

Dean nods, kissing his temple softly. "I'm so sorry, Cas. I should have been there to protect you."

"Don't you dare start that," Cas glares, shaking his head. "Whether you like it or not, there's no way you could've known. The important thing is you helped me when I got here, and I'm going to be okay. So let it go."

Dean smiles, nodding. "Okay. I'll try, alright?" Cas considers this, then nods, snuggling closer, tracing light patterns along Dean's side. After a minute his hand slips lower, and Dean gasps in surprise. "Cas…baby, what are you doing? You're supposed to be taking it easy."

"I am," Cas answers innocently, stroking slowly along Dean's shaft. "I just missed you, that's all." He grins. "Besides, we had a fight. I think that means we're supposed to have make-up sex."

Dean laughs breathlessly, leaning in to press their lips together softly. "Oh God, I love you so much," he murmurs, his free hand finding Cas' own erection and running his thumb over the head, chuckling at his gasp. "But we should probably postpone the make-up sex until you're feeling better."

Cas pouts at him, increasing his tempo and smirking at Dean's groan. "Or…" he suggests, "We can keep doing this for now, and have the really good make-up sex later?"

"Deal."