So. I wrote this chapter, and it's pretty short, and then I wrote the next chapter. I was originally thinking the two were too long to post as one, and too short to post as two. So I was going to take a page from Syd's book and do a double posting. But then chapter 11 became one of my longest ones ever, so part of me feels that I should post them separately. But, really, the end of the next chapter is a good place to leave off, so I won't feel guilty if the following chapters take a while. So I guess I'll be nice and give you both at once. ;)

Anyway. Neither of these chapters have been edited, as it's 3:00 in the morning and I just finished chapter 11 five minutes ago. But I'll get around to it.

Reviews are loved and appreciated!

---

Knowing and Walking

Chapter Ten

Savior

---

He stared and stared at the phone, hands clutching his coat ever-tighter as he listened to the pounding of the blood in his ears. He knew it shouldn't be taking so long, that, by all means, either Trinity or Tank should have been able to get back to the terminal and place another call by now. His mind filled with images of Cypher, deciding that he wanted to kill them personally and tricking them out of the Matrix. He was flashing through images of Cypher's hands around Trinity's throat just as the phone rang again. Debating for only a moment - if it was Cypher, he would die either way - he slowly lifted the receiver to his ear.

He snapped open his eyes as soon as he felt himself slide back into reality. There was nothing but dark grey metal above his head, no face that he could see. He panicked until he felt a hand shift on his chest. He knew the gentle touch, and felt the final relief when her stricken face moved into his field of vision. Her sorrowful, tired eyes meeting his broke his heart.

But instead of pulling the plug from his neck, she looked to the bank of monitors, glanced at Neo, and back again as she considered something. "Have you given him the code-reading program yet?" A pause, and she continued, "Do it now."

A moment later, Neo's mind was flooded with information in that old, familiar way, and he forced himself to calmly accept it. Not even a split second passed between the end of the onslaught and the spike being removed from his head as she quickly helped him into a sitting position. She spoke quickly as she unclamped his feet. "I need to take care of Tank. I need you to watch Morpheus for a few minutes." It was such a strange and unfamiliar sound, to hear her admit outright a need of any kind. "Alright?"

He glanced at their bleeding operator, just standing from his seat. "I -"

"All you have to do is let me know if anything happens." He could tell by the look on her face that the one on his was uncertain and nervous. "Neo, please..."

The desperation made him nod automatically. She was handling everything so much better than anyone else could ever be expected to. He could certainly handle such a simple task. "Yeah, I'll watch him. You go."

Tank was led away, clutching the wound in his side. The resounding silence Neo was left in seemed to whisper with the ghosts of the dead surrounding him.

---

Every bone and muscle in her body was fighting to turn back, to run to whatever safe haven she could find, or at least to simply stop. With her arm supporting Tank around his shoulders, it almost felt as though he was leading her back to the Core, rather than vice versa. Nevertheless, as they reached the ladder, she gently urged him forward, grimacing herself as he winced going up.

He took one step after the other, up to the core, but Trinity remained stationary. The dead bodies of her four crewmembers were still seared into her mind, and the thought of standing beside them, wrapping them in their death shrouds, feeling the whispers of spirits around them for God only knew how long... It felt stupid and superstitious to think of such a thing, but ghosts did linger after the bodies had perished. She had experienced it before, and without fail, it made her blood run cold. She did not know if she could handle it this time, with this crew.

Tank had nearly reached the top rung of the ladder. Her fists were clenching and releasing repeatedly, the only part of her body that was actually moving. Come on, Trinity, just go up. Nothing. Tank was off of the ladder by now. She knew she was telling her body to move, she could feel her brain sending the signal to her legs, but somewhere along the way, her emotions stopped it. Go up.

"Trinity?"

Go up! Suddenly, one hand was clutching the cold metal of the ladder, and the next thing she knew, she was forcing her body up before her fear took over again. Her eyes remained fixed on the floor as she entered the room, avoiding the sight of the bodies as much as possible.

But, to her shock, when she glanced up, she saw only Morpheus in the chairs, and no bodies on the floor around them. She searched the room almost frantically before her eyes fell on the alcove at the back of the core, stopping her short. The four bodies lay impeccably wrapped in white blankets, arranged in a neat row, largest to smallest. She stared for several seconds, trying to make her mind understand.

Slowly, her eyes turned back to the operator's station, falling on Neo as he helped Tank into the chair. Had he done this himself? She didn't think him physically strong enough, nor would she have expected him to take the initiative to wrap them himself. She thought he would be the type to help only under hers or Tank's guidance, for fear of doing it wrong. And of herself, she expected that she should be upset, not to have taken part in the small, miserable but import ritual, as she had been in the past, but now... With the injured man securely in the chair, Neo looked now to Trinity, catching her eye. Her own eyes fell shut, suddenly shy after what he had done. Neo, she thought sadly, almost as a prayer. Thank you. Crewmen of the past were different. Wrapping these four, after everything else that had happened, she knew would break her.

She took a few more moments to compose herself - as much as she could, anyway. She began to take a step forward, but stopped suddenly. Beyond the chairs at on the left side of the core, behind a doorway, she could just see a man's boots and legs on the floor, uncovered. Cypher - Neo must have known better than to put his body with the others, but was uncertain beyond that point, and had thus deposited him just out of sight.

The rage she felt toward him was not the usual kind - she would not quite call it an emotion. What she felt now was far more primal - an instinctive, animal drive she was not used to. The true hatred she felt was in fact very minimal, if not nonexistent - all she knew was the desire to kill him, to take her revenge regardless of the fact that he was already dead.

Moving almost automatically, she went to the small emergency kit in the back wall, and fumbled around until she found a knife.

---

"I don't know exactly what they've been doing, just asking him things and..." Neo paused for a moment, eyeing Tank's bandage under the torn sweater. "They look like interrogation techniques, I guess."

"He tell them anything?" the operator asked, his speech slurred slightly from the fading effects of the sedative.

"No, not a word." Somewhere in the ship, not too far away, a door opened with a faint squeak, and he glanced up to find that Trinity was missing, and wondered faintly what she could be doing. But he did not pursue the issue, and returned his attention to Tank and the screens. He looked worn and beaten down by more than just the pain and sedatives. His eyes were tired and his jaw was tightly clenched - an attempt, Neo was quite certain, to keep it together, and hold off his mourning for a while longer.

The door thudded closed. He lifted his eyes just in time to see Trinity reenter the Core with brisk, tense strides. "How's Morpheus doing?" she barked hastily. As Tank relayed the information, Neo just caught a glimpse as she hastily wiped her hands on her shirt. When she let them fall back to her sides, the fabric was tinted with blood.

He looked at her eyes carefully, fairly certain he knew what she had just done. They were filled with that intense but carefully controlled fury that seemed unique to Trinity, but it did not hide the rest. Looking carefully, he could see a pain and sadness that ran far deeper than the anger.

He wanted to go to her, wrap his arms tightly around her and let his love seep from his body into hers for whatever comfort it would offer. But she wouldn't have accepted that now, in her state. Her emotional solitude was as necessary as it was difficult. Still...

He could not expect anything from her now, when she was so vulnerable, if indeed he could have ever expected anything. Drop it, Anderson. For all he knew, she may not have even heard him amongst the stress and adrenaline. You said it, it's over. If she wants to say something, she'll say it when she's ready.

---

The calm that had soothed her this morning came over her once again, keeping her emotions at bay - she knew of their presence, but did not truly feel them. Even so, it took a great effort to keep her composure and not break down then and there. She realized, with a bit of guilt, that she had never cared about the deaths of anyone else the way she cared about these four lying before her. Even those who died aboard the Nebuchadnezzar during her first years only gained her very general sorrow, the same that was granted to those she had never even met. She had never felt for any others what she felt for the crew she had woken to this morning. And now, half of them were dead. With the possible exception of trying to accept her love for Neo, this was the most difficult thing she had ever been faced with during the course of her entire life.

That bastard had been right about her - the Angel of the Fleet, who could save anyone but the people closest to her.

The train of thoughts soon led her back to Neo. Discreetly, she stared at him over her shoulder. Tank was explaining exactly what they were doing to Morpheus. His back was turned to her, and unfortunately, she could not see his face. Or, more importantly, she could not see his eyes. She had met his eyes before, but back in the repair shop, when Cypher had asked her if she Believed, was the first time she had ever truly looked into them. Then, she was totally unguarded, all of her usual barriers nonexistent. It was the first time she had ever let herself see him completely, and the first time she had let Neo see her completely. Those eyes, in that moment, were what finally pushed her over the edge, and made her finally accept and embrace her love for him. She no longer fought it, and thus wished desperately to look into his eyes again. Trinity's mind proceeded on through the memory of the repair shop, what Neo had said to her... She quickly turned back to her fallen comrades, fear clenching her chest again. You can give it but you can't take it.

She sighed quietly, staring at the four bodies. Four loved ones dead, possibly another. Was this the price of finding the One? How many more would they have to lose to keep him, to let him realize himself for what he was and could do? Hatred swelled in Trinity again, but this time towards herself, as she felt the tiny thought fleet across the dark corners of her mind that, perhaps, even this price for Neo would not be too high.

"Trinity." Tank tried to pull her out of her trance and into the conversation he was having with Neo. She should have been a part of it from the beginning, but... "Zion's more important that me, or you... or even Morpheus."

Tell me something I don't know, she thought angrily, leaving only half of her attention with the two men.

Neo turned to her, briefly, desperately, trying to think of something as much as she. "Well there has to be something we can do."

"There is," Tank replied decisively, and almost before he spoke, Trinity knew what he would say. "We pull the plug."

This brought her to full attention instantly. "You're gonna kill him? Kill Morpheus?" She knew it was standard procedure, that it was the only sure way. But she had already lost four of her crewmen, and instinct drove her to prevent the loss of another.

"We don't have any other choice," he replied somberly.

"We can get him out!" She realized after the words came out just how frantic she sounded, and she consciously fought for calm.

"They've thought of that, Trinity," he reminded her in a solemn, quiet voice. "He's being guarded by three agents and a small army, even you can't beat that yourself."

"I'll get help." She shot a split-second glance at Neo, but instantly thought better of it - he was the One, no doubt, but he hadn't come to know this yet, and even after everything they had put him through, his training was limited.

"It's not possible, Trinity," he interjected before she could go on. "No one in the fleet would be stupid enough to try it, even for Morpheus."

She shook her head, quickly running a hand through her hair. She knew she was grasping at straws, but she could not - would not - allow herself to stop trying. "Come on, Tank, there has to be something -"

"You can't save everyone, Trinity!"

This quieted her immediately, and she tried and failed several times to say something in protest. But she knew there was nothing to say, because he was right. Her eyes shifted back and forth between Tank and Neo before ultimately falling to the floor in defeat.

Several moments later, Tank spoke again, this time much more quietly. "Do you want to do it, or should I?"

She said nothing, just closed her eyes tightly, remaining otherwise immobile from the pain beginning to push through her emotional wall. Tank understood.

---

Trinity took a deep, shaking breath before lifting her head just slightly. As she stared longingly at their Captain, Neo was almost certain that he could make out a quiver in her lip.

Tank moved in the side of his vison, removing the fingerless glove from his right hand. As he lifted the hand to Morpheus' forehead, Neo realized with a shock that they meant to do this now. Was this all that such a great man was to be granted - a terribly brief eulogy before his life was ended? Was there nothing more, some sort of... But he realized that, with only three left alive, on a ship in the middle of nowhere, there was nothing else to do.

"Morpheus..."

His eyes found Trinity again, drowning in sorrow. He had failed her. He had failed all of them by being too blind to take the opportunity he had been warned about. If he had only taken Morpheus' place back in the hotel, if he had somehow gotten the man to leave with the rest of them, none of this would have happened. Morpheus would have made sure that Cypher was not separated from the group, eliminating his chance to jack out before the rest and kill them.

"You were more than a leader to us..."

Of course, in that situation, Cypher probably would have kept low and simply waited for another opportunity to hand them over. In the long run, had Neo taken the opportunity, it would likely just have resulted in Morpheus being captured and killed later, and that selfish bastard would have been the only one left standing. Neo's sacrifice would have been pointless. So then... why would the Oracle have told him this?

"You were a father."

Neo's heart nearly stopped. She wouldn't have. There was no way Morpheus would have survived, no matter what had happened in that hotel. She was never referring to that at all.

"We'll miss you always."

But they hadn't missed. At least, he realized as Tank moved his hand down to the data spike, not yet.

"Stop!" Could it really be possible? Could they really still have a chance, no matter what kind of odds were stacked against them? "I don't believe this is happening," he whispered as if in a trance.

"Neo, this has to be done."

No. "Does it? I don't know, it..." How had his whole philosophy been changed so quickly? Just hours ago, he had professed his die-hard disbelief in the Oracle's prophecies. It was all supposed to be a big mindgame con. Wasn't it? "This can't be just a coincidence, it can't be." There was no way, no possible way that she could have known about this if she was a fraud.

"What are you talking about?" he asked impatiently.

"The Oracle," he stammered, mind barely able to keep up with his mouth. "She told me this would happen. She told me that I would have to make a choice." A very difficult one, he realized. He could not simply save Morpheus - he could only die saving Morpheus. He would loose what little he had in this world, which mostly amounted to his relationship with Trinity - however it could be defined. She hadn't given him a response yet, never mind the fact that there had been almost no opportunities - if she really wanted to say something to him, she would have. So, she would not miss him, and he would be dead, and unable to miss her. This way, at least, he could give her Morpheus again, bring back one of the few remaining things that gave her some little bit of happiness in this awful existence. And anyway, if he was not the One, this was the most good he could possibly do for the Resistance. It was certainly better than being next-to-useless in Zion or as part of the fleet.

"What choice?" Trinity begged.

He stared wide-eyed at her. The Oracle would never have given him such a prophecy if this could never happen, but that was not why he suddenly believed. Maybe it was Morpheus rubbing off on him, but he somehow knew, deep down, that if he just believed, with all his heart, it was not impossible.

Saying nothing, he spun on his heel and practically lunged for his chair.

"What are you doing?" Trinity asked, sounding almost frantic.

"I'm going in." His tone left no room for argument, but that did not seem to stop her.

"No you're not." The words were empty and carried no authority, despite the fact that they could usually do so with no effort at all.

She must be so utterly, completely lost. "I have to."

"Neo," she began again, this time with more force, "Morpheus sacrificed himself so we could get you out. There is no way that you're going back in."

He was losing his patience. The Agents were working nonstop on breaking Morpheus, and he was running out of time. " Morpheus did what he did because he believed that I'm something I'm not," he snapped.

He could see her fighting for words. "What?"

"I'm not the One, Trinity," he said flatly, trying to be sympathetic. "The Oracle hit me with that, too."

She shook her head slowly, obviously trying to comprehend. "No..." she muttered, though, surprisingly, not in disbelief. "No, you have to be."

"I'm sorry, I'm not," he explained impatiently. "I'm just another guy."

But she was adamant. He could not quite place her expression - like she just knew he was wrong, and was trying to figure out where he could have gotten his information mixed up. "No, Neo," she whispered almost happily, "that's not true. It can't be true."

She seemed so certain, impossibly so. How contradictory that she should believe this - it meant believing the Oracle that the One simply existed, and not believing her when she told a person, flat out, that it was not him. "Why?" If you know something, I'd love to hear it.

But she fell silent, fear suddenly flashing through her eyes as she turned them down to the floor. Funny. He had always pegged Morpheus as the blind believer, but never Trinity. He continued setting up.

"Neo," Tank said insistently, growing more agitated with each word. "This is loco. Weren't you listening to me a minute ago? They've got Morpheus in a military-controlled building, even if you somehow got inside, those are Agents holding him."

Did they all think he was deaf, dumb and blind? Anyone many times more dense than he could see that the odds against him were all but insurmountable. He knew what he was getting into as consciously as he knew he could succeed.

"Three of them. I want Morpheus back too, but what you're talking about is suicide."

Have a little faith. He spoke automatically, searching for the right words as he went. "I know that's what it looks like, but it's not. I can't explain to you why it's not. Look, Morpheus believed something, and he was ready to give his life for what he believed, I understand that now. That's why I have to go."

"Why?" Tank yelled, finally fed up.

"Because I believe something."

"What?" Trinity asked, eternally patient.

He spoke without hesitation, knowing that if anyone in the world would have faith in him, it would be her. "I believe I can bring him back."

---

Neo turned and nearly ran for his chair, conscious of hist lost time.

This man had just saved her from breaking down when he stopped Tank from unplugging Morpheus, and now was convinced that he could save him. Was this really happening?

She stared after him as he made the final preparations on his console. He was the One. There was no questioning that, because there was no questioning that she loved him. She couldn't say why the Oracle had told him differently, only that it was a lie. She was a manipulative woman - the surface interpretations of what she said were rarely what she really meant. There had to have been some sort of hidden or double meaning to what he said, something that Neo did not even realize he had overlooked.

He was the One, and he truly believed he could do this. As far as Trinity was concerned, that was all that was needed. Exchanging an apologetic glance with Tank, she followed Neo into the circle of chairs.

He heard her beside him immediately. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going with you."

"No you're not," he asserted, with more force in his voice than she had heard to date.

He was trying to be her chivalrous protector, but Trinity was anything but impressed - she sure as hell wasn't intimidated. There was no way she was about to take orders from him - no matter what he was or what he was doing for her. "'No?'" The man recoiled instantly. "Let me tell you what I believe," she said, taking great pains to keep her face like a stone, concentrating all of her ferocity and determination in her eyes, so that they could bear down on his. "I believe Morpheus means more to me that he does to you. I believe that if you are really serious about saving him you're going to need my help." She willed her gaze to intensify to drive her final point home. "And since I am the ranking officer on this ship, if you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell. Because you aren't going anywhere else." He finally managed to avert his eyes from hers, turning them to the ground as much from intimidation as from fear - of what, though, she could not tell. Somehow he did not realize that, without her, he should be much more afraid for himself. "Tank, load us up."

She turned back to the screens, hit two buttons, and her chair shifted into position. Several seconds later, Neo did the same. With blatant reluctance, Tank stepped over to Neo, plugged him in, and loaded him into the construct. He then made his way to Trinity, who sat upright in her chair.

"One last time, Trinity," he pleaded earnestly, pain tinting his voice, "I'm begging you. Please don't make me fly your body back to Zion, too."

"You won't, Tank," she reassured him, squeezing his hand tightly. "Ask anyone if Trinity and the One could pull this off, you'd get the same answer every time."

"He's not the One, Trinity, the Oracle said -"

She shook her head quickly. "I don't know why she told him that, Tank, but whatever the reason, she was lying." She guessed what protest was coming next, and answered before he could even open his mouth, "Because she told me that he is the One." She held his gaze strongly, trying to reassure him. When that seemed not to work, she sighed heavily, and her face softened. "You trust me, Tank?"

He still seemed skeptical of her whole plan, or lack thereof, but he nodded anyway.

"Good. Now listen to me." She stared solemnly at their Captain. "You still need to watch his neural patterns. If they change him before we can get there, unplug him, but not a split second before, do you understand?"

"Yeah..." As if she had even needed to ask. He embraced her quickly, and she lay down to be plugged in. "Good luck."

Neo stood before her, waiting and ready, when she awoke in the Construct, and the sight of him was a small shock. Normally, he wore simple and unimposing clothing - his gi, or basic, casual clothing that only conformed with Resistance dress in that they were black. But now, his RSI had completely changed. He wore a full-length trench coat over a military-issue shirt, pants, and combat boots, all black, with holsters strapped to his waist and legs. After looking him up and down once, she asked, "Are there any combat or weapons programs Tank hasn't given you yet?"

He shook his head, pulled out his phone, and dialed Tank. He didn't seem to notice that she was staring at his face as he asked for their weapons. She was fighting that feeling again - that desperate urge to tell him, right here and now, and let the Oracle be damned. After everything - her own love, her fear, her gratefulness to him for not letting Tank pull the plug, for finally believing in himself - she had earned the right to love him. But, for the same old reasons, she restrained herself.

It wasn't easy. He had made it so much harder, back there in that repair shop. He just had to do it. He just had to say it, to confirm what she had logically known for a long time, but had only ever hoped in her heart. He just had to make it hard, to stand there, stare straight into her eyes, and speak what could have easily been his final words with unimaginable sincerity. "I love you, Trinity."