One month later...

"This is wrong. Nothing about this feels quite right." Callie sighed as she examined the final piece to her spring line. "I wish I could put my finger on it." She said to no one in particular as she tilted her head to the side, regarding her self declared less than adequate dress.

Meredith shook her head from side to side sighing. The dress looked perfect, this was about more than just the dress. "I think it's amazing."

"It just looks off," the brunette sighed as she ran her hands over the smooth fabric. "Like its missing something, it just doesn't look complete." She said shaking her head. She regarded the sketch she held in her hands, her eyes darting back and forth from the drawing and the dress.

The blonde regarded her friend, and boss with a slight uncertainty about what she, herself was about to say. Sure they were friends, they are great friends, but Meredith always made it a point to keep their personal friendship and working relationship separate, and it worked. But, Meredith had been seeing less and less of Callie beyond the Torres inc building. Not only was Callie still running a business, but she was also busy in her personal life. Addison was still in New York, and Callie seemed to be juggling most of her time between Arizona, and Addison, leaving very little time for Meredith.

Not that Meredith was jealous or even upset. Nope, in fact she was mostly happy for her friend. Not in the past few days though. Callie just didn't seem like Callie... She seemed distant, withdrawn, and distracted. Three things Meredith had never seen from her boss/friend.

She also noted that Callie's usually expressive sparkling eyes had some how dimmed. And she couldn't ignore the slight puffiness and redness of them indicating that Callie had in fact been crying at some point not too long ago.

"What's this really about?" Meredith asked as her eyes followed Callie who couldn't seem to stop touching the dress in front of her.

"What are you talking about?" Callie asked not moving her eyes off the piece in front of her, but stopping her motions of running her hands on it.

Meredith sighed, and rolled her eyes. This was going to take some coaxing. "Cal, you know me. I try not to mix outside life with what goes on in here, but I've never seen you this way. Ever. There was that one time when you and Aria got into a huge fight, but it passed and you didn't look this down." She said still searching for any type of response from Callie.

"I- I'm fine." Callie said, she kept the look on her face stoic, but the slight crack in her voice assured Meredith otherwise.

"You're not fine," the smaller woman disagreed. She hated pushing things with Callie, but sometimes this woman was too stubborn for her own good. "You've been walking around with your head hung down and I know you were crying. What's the deal?"

"I'm fine, can we just drop it?" Callie snapped, her eyes finally meeting Meredith's.

"Fine, whatever." Meredith threw up her hands and began to walk out of the room. She couldn't force Callie to talk to her, and she knew eventually the Latina would. She just had to be ready.

And with that Meredith was gone.

This left Callie alone with her thoughts.

Meredith was right, Callie was a mess. Everything that happened over the weekend and really over the past month had finally caught up with her. She was spreading herself thin, and had been more stressed then she had been in her 26 years of life. Maybe that's why she had screwed everything up so bad, or maybe she was just using that as an excuse.

Beyond that she had agreed to speak at Arizona's graduation after the call she received from professor Webber. What was she thinking? She hated public speaking.

Aside from the few she's given in front of her peers and colleagues, Callie didn't do speeches. It took everything she had just to walk out on the runway after her shows. But, Arizona made her brave, and bold. Arizona stirred things in her she didn't know was possible.

And now she and Arizona weren't speaking. She hasn't said anything or heard anything from the blonde beauty in three days. It was the longest three days of her life, and the longest they'd gone without talking to each other since they met. She stood by her decision even though it hurt like hell. The pain would pass eventually...

Right?

4 days ago

Callie was frantic. This whole thing had set her on edge. She couldn't remember a time in her life where she felt so out of control and helpless. Well, there was that one time, the whole reason Mark was around, but this was different. This hit her like a ton of bricks.

Wiping the tears from her frantic eyes she rang the buzzer.

She wasn't even sure how she ended up here. It was as if her feet had just taken here there. Her subconscious zoned into the last place she felt safe, and dare she even say loved. Even though she knew that those feelings were most likely not reciprocated. Arizona had made her abundantly clear of her "rules".

Still, Callie was here, at Arizona's apartment ringing the bell so the blonde could let her in. Hopefully she was home, hopefully Callie wasn't just being presumptuous in assuming she was there. It was after all a Friday night.

"Who is it?" The oh so familiar and comforting voice came through.

"Arizona? Thank god- it's me. It's Callie." The Latina's shaky and husky voice rang through.

"Calliope?" The questioning voice asked.

"Yes, I- I'm sorry... I shouldn't have... I'm sorry to bother you." She said letting go of the intercom.

"No, uh- no come up." Arizona said ringing her in.

Callie climbed the five flights of stairs, not even bothering with the elevator. She had energy, too much energy. And she was a flurry of emotions. She was scared, upset, she felt alone, and worst of all she felt helpless. The feeling she hated most in the world, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"What's going on are you ok?" Arizona asked opening her door to the frantic Latina.

"I'm sorry I'm here... I- I just didn't know where else to go. I shouldn't have come here." Callie said not making a move. Her eyes had yet to meet Arizona's, they stayed fixed to the floor.

Arizona's brow furrowed as she took in the sight in front of her. The usually well put together, strong, mostly confident Calliope Torres looked

completely frazzled. "What's wrong? Come in." The blonde said reaching out to Callie. She wrapped an ivory hand around a tan arm before pulling her in and closing the door behind them.

The Latina took a deep steadying breath and locked her deep brown eyes with stunning blue. She wanted to tell her what happened. She wanted to say that her world had suddenly become a too heavy load to carry. But she couldn't get her lips to move. She couldn't make the words come out.

She and Arizona had become close, both physically and on a friendship level. Because that's what they were... Friends with benefits. But things hadn't ever really gotten serious with them. Sure they talked, and joked, and just generally had a good time, but it was usually not more then that.

"Callie?" Arizona asked, afraid to get lost in those chocolate eyes that were just so damn hypnotizing. "You have to say something. Anything." She gently coaxed.

"I had a bad night... And... And..." Callie started.

What she wanted to say was Arizona made her feel better than any ten people she knew, that's why she was here instead of anywhere else. She wanted to tell her that she looked forward to their times together because sometimes that was the only thing that got her through the week. She wanted to tell her that she had feelings for her. She wanted to tell her that she was falling in love with her.

Callie saw things in Arizona, that Arizona couldn't see in herself. She was kind, and caring. She was beautiful inside and out. She had eyes that could make the Angels weep, and a smile that could ignite even the coldest heart. She wanted to tell her all these things, but she couldn't...

Arizona was still Arizona with her rules, and her closed off attitude. And Callie was still Callie who was known to wear her heart on her sleeve and fall in love way too easily (at least that's what she had been told.)

Yet, here Callie was. She was seeking out solace from the one person she probably shouldn't be seeking it from. Addison was still in town, in fact they had planned to meet tomorrow. Meredith was only a phone call away, and she was always there when Callie needed her. Still they weren't her first go to.

"I didn't want to be alone. Mark and Lexie are out of town. Mark is finally introducing her to the family, it was a big step. I didn't want to call and bother them," Callie continued. "I just somehow ended up here." She finished as she made her way to the couch and sat.

Arizona felt a small smile tug at her lips for two reasons; One, Callie was seeking her out. Usually this sort of gesture would bother her. It meant that people were becoming too attached. But, Callie had become her friend, a great friend, a beautiful friend. Friends always seek each other out for help, right?

And, two because Mark had a girlfriend. Whoever this Lexie person was obviously meant a lot to him. Not that Arizona could be upset if anything happened between mark and Callie, which it could.

Mark was a handsome man, she could admit that. And, Callie was amazingly beautiful. She was beautiful all around. Anyone, would be lucky to have her. But, this was neither here nor there. It's not like Arizona would act on anything. She had no say on who Callie eventually ended up with.

Arizona reigned herself in, and got her emotion under control. "I'm here, whatever you need. If you want to talk about it, or just watch a movie. Whatever you want." She smiled.

The blonde had no idea what was bothering the Latina, but obviously something was. Arizona had never seen Callie in this state. It was slightly unnerving.

Callie's eyes darted up to Arizona's. They were clouded with un-shed tears, and spoke wonders. "I... Arizona, I want you to make me forget. I don't want to think, I just want to be." Callie said in a pleading manor. "I don't want to think..." She repeated at almost a whisper.

"Ok... Ok." Arizona said, sensing the rising tension. It was palpable, and it was rolling off the raven haired beauty in waves.

This wasn't a normal encounter for the two women. Sure Callie had mentioned a few personal things to her, but Arizona had never seen the other woman so... Unglued? Vulnerable? She couldn't even place her finger on the right words.

She found herself wanting to take Callie in her arms and soothe and hold her. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew how she felt towards the Latina who was unlike anyone she had ever met.

Arizona couldn't have these thoughts, and she shouldn't have these thoughts. Because that only led to heartache, and she and Callie had a good thing going. She was happy where they were. They could talk, and laugh, and the sex... Well the sex was just beyond amazing.

No commitment, no muss, no fuss. This was the perfect situation. Arizona didn't have to worry about getting her heart stomped on. She didn't have to be worried about being discarded or pushed aside. Not really, because even if Callie did find someone else, they weren't really a couple.

"Come on," Arizona said reaching out her hand to Callie's. "Even if it's just for tonight you can forget whatever is bothering you." The blonde softly smiled.

Callie grabbed the extended hand. Her heart was already thumping in her chest in anticipation for what she knew was coming. This was the time when she could surrender complete control. This was the time where she could forget, she didn't have to think, and although she desperately wanted to make Arizona hers officially, she understood that couldn't happen.

So, she accepted Arizona's terms. She accepted the fact that they are "fuck buddies". And, she accepted the fact that this is all it would ever be. This is all they would ever have, even though she so desperately wanted more. She had signed on for it, she knew what she was getting herself into.

"Tell me what you want." Arizona said, locking bright blue eyes, with dark brown.

In that moment, Arizona had never been more grateful that Teddy had gone out of town with her family for the weekend. She wanted to see, feel, and hear Callie come undone. And she could do that without having to disturb her roommate, and best friend.

"You." Callie said simply. Oh, if Arizona only knew the deeper meaning of that single word.

Arizona smirked, her eyes darkening to an impossible blue. "You have me," she breathed out. "What do you want me to do to you?" She asked Callie biting down on her bottom lip.

With that Callie held out her arms wrist to wrist. "Take me. Don't make me think, make me feel." The Latina said, as her chest heaved in and out. Her heart was already racing with possibility of what was coming, and just like that all of her previous worries were forgotten. All she could think of was the beautiful blonde in front of her, and what was about to happen.

Arizona disappeared for a few moments, only to return with a silk scarf. It was thin, and soft, and the black material was like butter against her skin. Her usual go to was rope or handcuffs, but the marks those two things left on Callie's beautiful skin was enough for the blonde to change her regular habits.

She didn't want to mark that amazingly soft Carmel skin, not like that. Blue eyes locked with brown, as ivory hands worked with the black material to bind Callie's wrists. "Good girl," Arizona smirked. "Arms up."

Callie obliged, lifting her arms above her head before Arizona's body came into contact with hers, and pink lips met red. Arizona pulled a plump bottom lip into her mouth, gently massaging it with her tongue before releasing it with a pop. Soon both bodies were moving. Arizona backed Callie against the wall with a soft thud, causing the Latina to lose her breath momentarily.

"Oomph," Callie groaned out, as air refilled her lungs.

Arizona raised to her tippy toes, keeping her eyes locked with those brown orbs she craved so much. Deft and skilled fingers wrapped the silk bindings on Callie's wrists to a hook on the wall the brunette hadn't even seen. "What are you doing?" Callie asked. Her mind was already hazy with lust, and all rational thought left her mind.

Here, in this world, Arizona was the boss, and Callie was ok with that. She was more then ok with that. She was thrilled with that, because it allowed her to give up total control, and she didn't have to think or worry because she trusted Arizona would never hurt her. At least not physically.

"I'm taking you, Calliope." Arizona said mater-of-factly. "I don't know what's bothering you," the blonde said un- tucking her satin shirt, before popping open a button. "But, I'm more then happy to help you forget." She smirked, popping open another button, then another until the Latina's lacy red bra was peeking out through the black fabric that currently covered Callie's torso.

Arizona had to hold in her gasp at the sight in front of her. Callie looked delicious standing there. The red bra contrasted perfectly with tan flesh, and the slightly opened shirt looked amazing as it hung loosely over her shoulders. "Jesus." Arizona said, and unconsciously licked her lips.

Her eyes traveled further down, taking in Callie's delicious curves. "You're so beautiful." She stated as she slid down Callie's blue skirt in one quick motion, revealing a lacy red thong to match the bra Callie was wearing.

"Shit." Arizona breathed out, taking a step back to appreciate the view. The heels Callie was wearing was doing everything to help those beautiful toned legs, and the skirt rested gently over smooth ankles practically binding them in place.

"Arizona, please." Callie begged, as she stood there helpless. She needed to feel those hands that made her body sing with desire. She needed that connection she felt, that spark, and she needed it now.

"I know." Arizona smiled stepping in and clashing her lips with Callie's. Their mouths worked together in an intricate dance, and Callie wiggled her body trying to get any friction she could against her now throbbing core.

The way Arizona looked at her was enough to make her wet. The way Arizona looked, while looking at her, was almost enough to make her lose her mind. And now was no exception. Callie could feel the arousal pooling between her legs and it took everything she had, not to jump out of her skin at this very second.

Just as Callie was about to scream, Arizona's hand sunk into the fabric of her lacy red panties. Soft deft fingers sunk between wet folds, and a long passioned moan escaped plump red lips. "Yessss," Callie hissed out as Arizona's fingers worked against her bundle of nerves.

This is what she craved, this is what she wanted, everything beyond the room evaporated in a single touch. Callie's world went spinning with every flick of the finger, and she struggled to keep herself upright. "You feel so fucking good." Callie said as she bit into her own arm trying not to come undone right then and there.

"You're so hot." Arizona said before sinking her teeth into the flesh above Callie's collar bone. The blonde couldn't figure out why, but in that moment she had to leave her mark on Callie. Sure she had done it before, she did it the first weekend they were together, but now it was a need, not just a want.

Callie yelped out in a mixture of pain and pleasure as pearly white teeth pierced her flesh. The woman making her feel all these things was amazing, beyond amazing, and more than anything else Callie wanted to call her, hers. She wanted to have a meaningful relationship with this woman.

"I need... I need more." Callie panted out, her double meaning. She needed more friction, and she needed more beyond the physical from the blonde.

With that the blonde dipped two fingers into Callie's dripping wet center. The angle of the two women standing allowed Arizona's palm to rub Callie's erect bundle of nerves with every thrust. This, paired with Callie's stressful night, week, hell her stressful month threw her over the edge.

Her body first went tense as stars burst from behind her eyes and her sex tightened almost painfully around Arizona's magical fingers. She quaked with after shocks over, and over, until the blonde slowly brought her down slowing her motions until Callie completely rode out her mind bending orgasm.

Callie's body went limp, as all of her extremities turned to jello. The only thing keeping her standing, was Arizona's body against hers. And the fact that she was still tied to the hook on the wall.

"God you're amazing." Arizona panted out. Her checks were a light shade of pink with obvious arousal.

Callie smiled, barely hearing Arizona through her haze. "Hmmm." She laughed, still unable to find her voice.

With that Arizona let her out of her bindings, gently taking her wrists off the hook, before she untied her. The blonde kissed the tan skin of the bindings throwing it aside. As Callie finally stepped all the way out of her skirt.

"Can I ask you something?" Callie asked grabbing onto Arizona's hand, with her own.

"Sure." Arizona smiled as she gazed at the naked beauty in front of her.

"Why?" Callie asked simply.

"Why what?" Arizona asked confused.

"Why no relationships? Why are you so dead set on just sex? Not that it's not amazing. I just never asked before." Callie shrugged as she started playing with the hem of Arizona's shirt.

"I- I..." The blonde struggled. "I don't want want to talk about it.

"I just don't understand. I'm trying to know you better." Callie said simply as her hands now tickled the impossibly soft skin of the amazingly beautiful blonde.

"It's not a big deal ok?" Arizona sighed out, going from completely turned on, to irritated in a matter of seconds.

Her mind was flooded with the thoughts of Lauren, and her past. The fights, the arguments, the fact that she had felt so small at the end of that relationship, the fact that she had given up so much of herself she vowed to never do that again.

She had felt trapped for so long, she was trying to be a "good man in a storm", and everything her parents believed in. But, she couldn't be that person. Not then. Now, now she could be that person. She could be there for others, without losing herself In the process. She wasn't a bad person, was a protected person. She had to protect herself, because she wouldn't survive another tragedy like Lauren.

She wouldn't survive hearing that she's less than, and have someone belittle her, and bring down her self worth. She wouldn't survive another jealous girlfriend who accused her every move. She wouldn't survive.

This whole world she has created, no dating just sex, was working. She was mostly satisfied and not heartbroken. And she could walk away, and the other person could walk away, and that would be that. No mess, no heartbreak. That's why she was clear from the beginning, especially with Callie.

Callie could feel the blonde tense as a million thoughts flitted across Arizona's face. "I'm sorry I just..." Callie started before she was cut off.

"Don't worry about me, and stop asking those kind of questions. I told you what this was from the beginning, and you agreed." Arizona said, her eyes were cold, and hard, like Callie had never seen before.

The blonde snapped, something deep inside. She could hear the disdain dripping from her voice, and she was surprised at even herself. The problem was she did want more with Callie. But she was scared beyond control. This beautiful creature in front of her made her feel things Lauren never made her felt... Ever. She made her feel them with the first lock of their eyes, and then the spark sent through her body every time they touched was enough to confirm her feelings.

This woman, this amazingly strong, and successful woman in front of her had the chance of ruining her even more than Lauren did. Because she felt things about and for Callie, in the short time she's known her than she ever did for the entirety of her and Lauren's relationship.

And she couldn't break again. She just couldn't. And she was too scared to take the risk.

"I was just asking. I'm sorry." Callie apologized dropping her eyes to the floor.

"It's not your business." Arizona defended. "We are fuck buddies, you said it yourself. I hardly thing that justifies you diving into my past." Arizona said in almost a whisper.

She couldn't stop herself now. She was beyond wound up, and she regretted the words even as they came out. But, there was no taking them back now. What was said was said.

"I can see coming over here was a mistake." Callie said her voice cracking.

She started to gather her things, gently stepping back into her skirt and buttoning up her shirt, as she fought the onslaught of tears that was threatening to fall.

Arizona was right, they were fuck buddies. She had agreed to it. So she had no right to feel like she did right now. But she was feeling those feelings. It was as if she had been punched in the stomach.

She was heartbroken.

"Calliope..." Arizona started, because she saw the hurt in those brown eyes. She never wanted to cause that. And she never meant to sound as harshly as she just did.

"No... Don't Calliope me," Callie seethed. "I know what I agreed to Arizona, I'm not an idiot. But... You know what?... I fell for you ok? I was an idiot and I fell thinking maybe, just maybe I could make you forget your stupid rules." She confessed as a lone tear broke free.

"It's my fault, I'm the idiot, but I can't do this anymore. I can't. Because the more time I spend with you, the deeper in love I fall." Callie said shaking her head. And just like that her confession was out.

She was in fact in love with this complicated blonde. The blonde who stole her heart from the beginning. Because when she saw Arizona she knew. She was just positive she was going to spend the rest of her life with her.

But then the bomb was dropped. "Sex and nothing more." Still, Callie felt she could change that. She could make Arizona see, that she wasn't going to be like the rest.

She had failed.

"Goodbye Arizona. I wish you all the best." Callie said leaning in and placing a soft kiss on an ivory cheek.

As much as it pained we to say goodbye, she had to. She couldn't stay because it just hurt to love someone who didn't return those feelings.

With that she walked out of Arizona's room, out of her apartment, and out of her life. Leaving the blonde stubbed and heart broken.

"I love you too..." Arizona whispered out.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A/N:

Ok my peeps here it is. The turning point! I'm so so so so so so sorry it took so long to post. I have been ill and life has just been crazy. I have moved jobs twice now, and am preparing for another move at the end of the month.

I hope this was worth the wait, and I want to say thank you, to those of you who are still around! This story wasn't edited by my lovely beta Ineedyourgrace because I wanted to get it to you all asap.

I'll try to be better going forward from her. And as always, comments are appreciated. I hope you liked it.