A/N: Hey Guys, not meaning to be a proprietor of cheap advertisement, but if you guys go on Pokemon Online, why don't you check out the Flutter Castle Server, that's mainly where I operate, y'know... Whenever it's open, I'm also on Gary Oak's Battle Frontier and The Battle Tower, all of them are really good servers, and if you wanna fight with your pal then come get some!
Wood Preservation Society
Narrator: We rejoin our heroes as they leave behind Viridian City and prepare to enter the mysterious Viridian Forest...
Ash: Good job, Narrator-san!
Narrator: Thank you...
Latios: So... What do I do?
Narrator: Um... you wanna make out?
Latios: Are you a girl?
Narrator: (Flirty eyes) I can be whatever you want me to be...
Latios: No thank you...
Narrator: Huh? Why not?
Latios: Shit happens...
(Insert Heavy Metal theme song here)
Ash: Whoa! This is Viridian Forest!
Epig: No shit, Sherlock...
Sakura: Although the use of alliteration is appreciated...
(Sakura pounds Epig into the ground... literally...)
Sakura: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DISS MY BOYFRIEND!
Ash: Diss who?
Sakura: I meant Ash! You're not allowed to diss Ash!
(Suddenly, a loud screech was heard...)
Ash: Eh? I didn't know there were Mankeys in here!
Sakura: There aren't any... there are only bug-type Pokemon in here...
Epig: Then that means-
(A group of Bug Catchers appear...)
Ash: Whoa, who are you guys?
(One of the Bug Catchers bring out a harmonica and starts playing, whilst some start whistling a tune...)
Bug Catchers: We are the Wood Preservation Society-
Epig: FUCK NO, I AM NOT LISTENING TO THAT CRAP! THAT SHIT MADE ME MISS THE SUPERBOWL!
Sakura: How? Wasn't that from an advert-
Epig: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING BAT SHIT ABOUT WHERE IT CAME FROM, NOW TELL THEM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I FART IN YOUR MOUTH!
Sakura: Excuse me?
Epig: YOU FUCKING HEARD ME! AND FURTHERMORE-
(Epig evolves in Pignite)
Pignite: Whoa... I evolved! And my balls totally dropped too!
(Pignite turns to Sakura)
Pignite: Well... I guess I should test this out... Fire Punch!
(Pignite's Fire Punch scores a critical hit on Sakura)
Sakura: Why you-
Ash: Guys, stop! We have to talk with these guys...
Pignite: Um... why?
Ash: Because... I get lonely...
Bug Catchers: Awww... well mate, we wanted to kill you fellas and eat yer body meat fer stepping on our forbidden property... But such a touching story makes us want to let yer off the hook...
Ash: Aren't you guys Bug Catchers?
Bug Catchers: We multi-task... a lot...
Pignite: Okay, nice meeting you... but we really need to-
Ash: One more question!
Pignite: DO YOU REALLY WANTED YOUR FUCKING INTESTINES TO BE SLURPED UP LIKE SPAGHETTI! MOVE YOUR BITCH ASS!
Ash: Your new voice sounds awesome! But I need to ask... Why do you call yourselves the Wood Preservation Society?
Bug Catchers: When did we ever do that?
Pignite: NOW YOU SEE WHY I HATE THAT SHIT! FUCK YOU GUYS, I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY GRIZZLY BEARS AND YOUR FAMILIES-
Bug Catchers: Okay, you and the pink-haired one can leave, but we're having Barbecue Pork in return for your safety...
Sakura: Sounds good to me! Let's go Ash!
Ash: No...
(Everyone gasps dramatically!)
Sakura: Whilst I am severely turned on by your courage, we need to leave! Now!
Ash: No... I got some ass to kick...
Pignite: Wow, that was kinda badass...
Ash: Go, Town Map!
Pignite: Well, it was kinda badass...
Town Map: Yay! I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the ma-
Bug Catchers: Argh! Make it stop!
Ash: No, not until you promise to let Pignite go!
Bug Catchers: And if we refuse?
Ash: I'll make my Backpack sing too... In Korean!
Bug Catchers: Alright, alright! You win! Pignite is free ta go!
Pignite: I would've kicked your asses if you didn't...
Sakura: Let's get out of here!
Pignite: Couldn't agree more! Wow, I'm agreeing with you... that's screwed up...
Ash: Wahoo! Let's go, this is fun!
(Ash and Friends leave the forest...)
Ash: Alright! So where are we heading!
Sakura: Pewter City, as it says on the map...
Town Map: Say it with me, Old Man... Forest... Pewter City! Old Man-
Sakura: I don't wanna say it with you!
Ash: Yeah, Map, even I find that annoying...
Town Map: Okay, fine...
Ash: So, is there a gym leader in this town?
Sakura: (Looks at her guidebook) Um... yeah! There is one, and he's said to be really tough!
Ash: Ooh, what's his name!
Sakura: Brock-
Pignite: I knew it was that guy!
Sakura: Lesnar!
Pignite: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!11!
Sakura: Everybody knows that Brock Lesnar is the Pewter City gym leader... who else did you think it was?
Pignite: I thought it was-
(Brock appears out of nowhere)
Brock: Hey guys!
Pignite: (Points at Brock) That guy!
Sakura: Pfft, don't be stupid...
Brock: Yeah, just because my name is Brock, it doesn't mean I'm the gym leader around these parts...
Ash: Yeah Pignite, you just got trolled!
Pignite: Do you even know what trolling is?
Ash: Something to do with Finn the Human, Jake the Dog, and a walking fish who's friends with a blue cat?
Pignite: I'd love to know what you think about when you come up with this crap!
Ash: Classified Information...
(Until next time, on this fucked up story...)