Death
Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV
Death is something that everyone fears, even the toughest of people fear death. Some deaths are quick others are painful and most of the time the death of someone we love is totally unexpected and no one ever quite knows how to deal with it but it is how we deal with the death of those loved ones that really shape us and that's what Aaron is finding out.
Tuesday morning and Aaron already had his overalls on and was ready for work, in his hand he held a cup of Coffee that he hadn't drank, he couldn't all he could do was stare at it. He could hear Paddy's footsteps coming down the stairs and he quickly got up, pouring what remained of his Coffee into the sink.
Paddy came to a sudden stop when he spotted Aaron "Where you going?"
"Work" Aaron threw back "where do you think I'm going?"
Paddy's eyes widened "I don't think anyone will be expecting you to go in"
Aaron finally turned to face Paddy, his face serious "Why not?"
"Because…because of…of…you know" Paddy couldn't spit it out and Aaron shook his head "No idea what you're talking about" with that said Aaron stormed out of the house and all Paddy could do was watch, he had no idea how to help him.
Aaron stalked towards the garage, in his own little word, ignoring the people trying to talk to him.
Ryan and Cain exchanged looks "What's he doing here?" Ryan asked and Cain shook his head "No idea" he started towards his nephew "What are you doing here?"
Aaron looked up at him and brushed past as he answered "Working, I work here don't i?"
Cain shook his head "Not today you don't"
Aaron looked around at Ryan and then at Cain "Why the hell not?"
"Aaron, mate, come on" Ryan placed his hand on Aaron's shoulder which he shrugged off "I'm fine, I wanna work"
Reluctantly Cain agreed and Aaron buried himself under the bonnet of a car.
Back at Paddy's there was a knock on the front door, followed by it being opened "Aaron? Paddy?" Adam called out as he walked in
"Hey" Paddy smiled at Adam, Adam looked around "Where's Aaron?"
"At work"
Adam's eyes widened in surprise "He's what? But it starts at 12"
"He isn't going" Paddy informed him "Or at least that's what it looks like"
Adam shook his head, he couldn't believe Aaron was being so stupid "I'm gonna talk to him" Adam told Paddy before heading for the garage.
"AARON!" Adam yelled as he marched towards the garage.
Aaron who was still under the bonnet of a car ignored him and continued working on it
"What the hell is he doing?" Adam asked Ryan
Ryan shrugged his shoulders "No idea"
Adam wasn't having it, he grabbed hold of Aaron's leg and pulled him from under the car "What the hell!" Aaron demanded jumping to his feet and getting into Adam's face.
"Gonna hit me?" Adam asked "That isn't going to make you feel better"
Aaron continued to glare at his best friend and Adam pushed a little more "What would Jackson say?"
That was it Aaron pushed Adam back as hard as he could "You know nothing about Jackson"
Adam smiled faintly "I know he would be there for you, always was"
Aaron looked around, at Ryan, at Cain and couldn't take it anymore, they all looked like they felt so sorry for him and he couldn't stand it, he didn't want to be the centre of attention "I'm out of here"
"Aaron! Aaron wait!" Adam was about to take off after him when Cain grabbed his arm "Let him cool off, he'll calm down"
Adam looked at Cain "Before the funeral?"
Cain shrugged and let go of Adam's arm before walking back to the garage.
Ryan walked up beside Adam "Do you think he'll go?"
Adam knew his best friend; he knew he couldn't handle what he was feeling "I hope so mate, I really do"
Aaron ran he didn't know where he was running to but he ran until he couldn't run anymore. His head was all over the place, his feelings were all over the place. How was he meant to be feeling? He didn't know, what was he meant to be doing? He didn't know that either.
After ten minutes of standing on the bridge, staring at the water under him Aaron heard someone approach, he knew who it was before they had even spoke
"Calmed down yet?"
Aaron didn't look at his best friend but nodded "Yeah, sorry about earlier"
"It's alright" Adam slapped him on the shoulder "You alright though?"
Clearing his throat and nodding was the answer that Adam received to that question
"You have to go to the funeral man"
"I can't" Aaron finally admitted, he couldn't because then it would become all too real "why are you?" he suddenly demanded
"He was my mate, of course I'm going. Scarlett's going to"
"Great. A party" Aaron replied sarcastically "Aaron, come on, what about Hazel? You have to go for her"
"Leave me alone Adam"
"We're leaving at 11.15 from Paddy's" with that Adam walked away and left his best friend alone.
Jackson was dead and it was the day of his funeral and needless to say Aaron wasn't handling it the best he could. He was adamant he wasn't going to the funeral, why should he? It's a box with a body, it's not Jackson. Aaron's thoughts drifted back to the day it happened.
Ten days ago Aaron had been in the Woolpack when Ryan came in "Have you heard?"
"Heard what?" Aaron replied not really interested
"Apparently a barn at Home Farm has caved in"
"What?" Aaron asked suddenly very interested
Ignoring Aaron's sudden interest Ryan sat down "Jackson mustn't be doing his job correctly, haven't been distracting him have you Aaron?" he teased but when he finally looked at Aaron he could see worried look on his face and he looked around, for Jackson.
"Where's Jackson?"
"Working late on the conversion"
The two of them looked at each other "You think?..." Ryan started
"No" Aaron added quickly but the sounds of sirens wailing outside had them both running for the door and for a car.
Paddy was outside "What's going on?"
"Paddy, drive us up to Home Farm"
"What? Why?"
"NOW PADDY!" Aaron demanded.
The drive to home farm seemed to last forever, when they pulled up and before the car had even stopped Aaron and Ryan were out of the car, running towards the barn.
Aaron stopped, he couldn't move anymore. Ryan was running towards the barn to help, Declan was there too but Aaron stopped more than 100 feet away. The firemen were pulling a body from the wreckage.
"AARON!" Ryan yelled and Aaron finally began to move, he ran towards the firemen "is he?"
The firemen ignored him and the paramedics took over. Aaron could only stare helplessly at the lifeless body of his boyfriend. He was pronounced dead at the scene, Aaron luckily didn't have to tell Hazel, the police did that and he was thankful for that.
Aaron pulled himself from memory lane, he didn't want to think about it, he couldn't it hurt far too much and he missed him, a lot. Jackson was all he could think about; every time he closed his eyes he could see his lifeless body being dragged from the wreckage of the barn.
He looked at his watch it was just after 10.45, his funeral began at 12 and Adam said he was leaving at 11:15. He still wasn't sure if he was going to go or not but still he took a slow walk back towards Paddy's.
He arrived at Paddy's just in time, everyone was just getting into Paddy's car. Adam smiled when he saw him walk towards the car "You're coming?"
Aaron shook his head "I can't"
Chas got out the car "Aaron don't be so stupid!"
Aaron glared at his Mother "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?"
Chas shook her head "I don't know what that lad saw in you"
"Me either" Aaron replied before storming away
"Good one" Adam said to Chas and she just shrugged "He needed to hear it, let's go"
"What about Aaron?" Scarlett asked "He'll regret not going"
Chas looked towards Smithy where Aaron had just gone "He'll turn up" she promised, she knew her son and she knew he would turn up because he wouldn't be able to keep himself away.
Aaron slammed the door of the Cottage closed, who the hell did that woman think she was? Sticking her nose where it wasn't wanted. Whatever was between him and Jackson was his business and if he didn't want to go to his funeral well then he wouldn't, he didn't need a funeral to say Goodbye.
Aaron walked into the sitting room, he sat down but all he could see in his minds eye was Jackson, Jackson and his extremely stupid jokes and that grin he plastered on his face all the time.
"ARGH!" It was as if Jackson was haunting him, trying to get him to do the right thing, just as Jackson always did and as always it worked. Ten minutes later Aaron had changed into a suit and had taken one of the cars from the garage.
By the time he arrived at the Church the service had began and he debated whether or not he should just walk away, but he didn't. He pushed open the door to the church and walked in. A few people looked around but Aaron ignored them and walked to the front of the church, to where Hazel and the rest of Jackson's family were waiting.
Hazel smiled "thank you" she whispered and Aaron smiled at her as best as he could but his eyes were drawn to the coffin laying a few feet in front of him. He heard Jackson's voice in his head and he smiled, he would do the right thing. He would say Goodbye properly and he would move on, trying not to take his anger out on anyone else, for Jackson and maybe just maybe one day he would apologise to Declan for punching him in the face and blaming him.
He wasn't sure how he was going to cope with losing Jackson but he knew that he was taking the first step and it was all for and because of him.
A/N - PLEASE REVIEW!