Geez, i either need to start updating sooner in the day or make my chapters shorter, this is ridiculous, i mean, a 5000 word chapter, I cant believe i even wrote that much in this chapter, but the quality is whats most important here, so, I mean...

Enjoy!

~MajorChemistry~

Chapter 10: Numb

"... There's a room where the light won't find you, holding hands while the walls come tumbling down, when they do I'll be right behind you..." I sang along to the song as I washed the dishes. The sun was setting over the water behind our house, the sky was orange and yellow like someone had set fire to the sky. I was brought out of my thoughts by the home phone ringing, "Hello?"

"Hey hon, you want pizza for dinner?" My mom asked,

"I mean, I guess. It doesn't matter to me."

"Alright, I'll pick one up on my way home."

"Okay. Love you Mom."

"Love you too babe." She hung up.

I sat the phone back down just as someone rang the doorbell, "Ugh, now what?" I sat down my towel to check the front door, I wasn't surprised to see Carlos standing there,

"You busy?" He asked,

"A little." I stepped aside to let him come in, "What's up."

"I need you to do me a favor."

"A favor huh?" I raised an eyebrow, "I might need some incentive." I smirked,

"Does taking down the Brotherhood sound like incentive enough to you?"

"Not what I had in mind, but it'll work. Whatcha got?"

"Word came in about a big shipment they've got coming in."

"Alright and what's the shipment?"

"That's the problem, I don't know. That's why I'm asking for your help."

"What makes you think I can find out about the shipment?"

"Sara, you're the smartest person I know, I know you can find out anything." He grabbed my hands,

"Please help me out with this, I can't go to the Boss with no information."

"Okay okay, I'll see what I can dig up... Man, I think I like seeing you beg." I smirked,

"Thanks Sara, seriously." He kissed my forehead,

"You staying for dinner?"

"What's for dinner?"

"Pizza, but there's one condition."

"What?"

"You've gotta help me clean up around the house." I poked his chest.

He made a face, "Do I have to?"

"Well, if you don't want to." I stepped past him and opened the front door, "There's the door."

"That's fucked up."

"You gonna stay or not?"

He sighed, "Alright, you convinced me to stay."

I slammed the door shut, "That didn't take much to do."

I went to walk past him but he wrapped his arms around my waist to stop me, "Where are you going?" He hugged me,

"Remember when I said I was busy, you know, doing chores and shit. Chores that you promised to help me with..."

"We can do that later."

"Or we can do it now and get it taken care of."

He sighed, "Fine."

I spent the night looking through online manifests to see if anything seemed different, but nothing screamed brotherhood to me, just normal shipments. I closed my laptop and rubbed my eyes, "There's gotta be a way to find out about this shipment..." I tapped my fingers on the laptop, I could go after DJ myself, he's gotta know something. Going after them by myself was suicide... But maybe I could talk Carlos into helping me out, after all, it would benefit the Saints in the end. I got up and went downstairs to get some water.

My mom was talking to somebody in the kitchen, "Ma, who are you talking to?" I asked, but soon found out when I walked in the kitchen and saw Chief Bradshaw having coffee with my mom. I blinked a few times, "What the fuck?" I had never swore in front of my mom before, but I was so confused that it slipped out,

"Sara!" My mom scolded. My mind was so puzzled I completely lost focus on what I was doing,

"I should be going Lynda, it's getting late." He got up and walked towards me to get to the front door, "Staying out of trouble Sara?" He asked as he put a hand on my shoulder,

"I think..." I said, still confused as fuck, he examined my cheek where the scar had formed,

"Have a good night." He glared at me before proceeding out the door.

I turned towards my mom, "You cannot be-"

"It's not like that Sara, we were just having coffee and discussing some business."

"Business?"

"Yeah, similar business that probably contributed to you getting that nice scar on your face there."

"What? Is skateboarding around town being banned?"

"You know as well as I do that you didn't get a cut like that from falling off your skateboard. You're getting involved with gangs just admit it!"

"Why would I be getting involved in gangs? Do I look like I want to get myself killed?"

"Look, Sara I love my son and all but Johnny isn't a good influence on you."

I glared at her, "How dare you talk shit about Johnny! At least he was here for me when dad died, you couldn't even do that much! You just went and hid yourself away until you felt like dealing with reality again!"

She paused for a second, "You know Sara, you've become a real bitch since you've gotten out of school."

I rolled my eyes, "Thanks a lot mom, once again I can't get you to support me like a parent should."

"Well if you don't like the way I run things then there's the door!"

"Fine, I'll leave then!" I stormed out of the house.

"Carlos it was awful! My mom and I never fought like that before." I cried as Carlos rubbed my back. I figured my mom would have known that's where I was going to be, I didn't want to go anywhere else and Johnny wasnt answering his phone,

"Sara it's going to be okay, sometimes we say things to our parents that we aren't necessarily proud of."

I looked up at him, "I know, but I still feel like shit for saying what I did to her."

He wiped a tear from my face, "You both just need to calm down, you should stay here."

"Thanks babe." I smiled up at him, thankful he was here to talk to. Even though I felt bad that I was turning into a monster (at least in my mom's eyes) I still wanted to be rebellious, I found a certain thrill in breaking the rules, and I wanted more! I kissed Carlos, moving my body closer to his,

"Sara..." He pulled away, "What are you doing?"

"Carlos, I really love you and, well, I want to have sex with you." I wasn't going to sugar coat it, I knew he wanted it too. His eyes widened,

"Oh... Uh..."

"Carlos c'mon! I'm giving you consent, fuck what anyone else says! It's just me and you..." I moved closer to him again,

"I know it's just... Something the boss told me once."

"Oh yeah? What did the boss tell you?" I raised an eyebrow,

"He just told me not to piss off your brother... And honestly, I'm deathly afraid of pissing your brother off."

I smirked and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, leaning into his ear, "What Johnny don't know won't hurt him." I whispered and started kissing his neck.

I laid in bed next to Carlos as he ran his fingers through my hair, I had never felt this happy before in my life. I couldn't stop thinking about the whole encounter, the feeling of our bodies touching the way they did, I don't think I would have ever wanted it to go any differently. Carlos looked at me, "What?" I asked,

"Nothing, I just like to look at you." We were interrupted by his phone ringing.

I grabbed it, "It's Boss..." I answered it,

"Carlos, I'm heading over to the nuke plant. I don't think the cops are gonna be too happy about it so I need you to be ready to pull me out when I give you the call."

I looked over at Carlos, "Why are you going to the nuke plant?" I asked,

"Sara? Where the fuck is Carlos?"

"Sitting right next to me."

He sighed, "Just be here to get me out."

Carlos grabbed the phone, "No problem Boss, I'll get you a helicopter." he hung up the phone,

"Why is Boss going to the nuke plant?" I asked Carlos as he got up,

"He's got something planned for the Brotherhood and he needs my help." He said, pulling on some boxers,

"Okay, and where are you going to get a helicopter?" I asked, getting up and gathering my clothes,

"I'll figure something out, and you're staying here."

"Not if I can get you access to a helicopter." I said, putting my bra back on.

Carlos looked at me, "It pays to have connections in the police station."

"Sara, I can't ask you to do this."

"You don't have to, I'm doing this on my own." I smirked.

We headed down the stairs to go to his car, I grabbed my phone, "Who are you calling?" Carlos asked, unlocking his car,

"Our ride." I sat shotgun,

"Hello?"

"Brady! It's Sara."

"Hey Sara, what can I do for you?"

"Remember that time when I took the blame for you messing up the computer system at the station and you said that you owed me?"

There was silence, "...Yeah?"

I smirked, "Im here to cash out that favor."

"That depends."

"I need a helicopter, like, now."

"Sara, that's a big thing to ask for."

"C'mon please?! You owe me!"

He sighed, "I'll be on the roof of the police station, be there in 5 minutes."

"Thanks so much!" I hung up, "To the police station!" I said to Carlos.

We were flying across Stillwater on our way to the nuke plant, it may have been the middle of the night but I had never felt more awake, "How are you doing back there?" Carlos asked,

"Pretty good, this is exciting!" I laughed as I hung my legs over the ledge of the helicopter,

"No it's not!" Brady said,

"Quit bitching, you owe me."

"Yeah but I didn't think this is what you had in mind for payback..."

I waved him off, "You didn't specify any limitations so..."

"I'll keep that in mind next time."

I saw the nuke plant in the distance, "There it is."

Carlos' phone rang, "I got what I came for, I need to get picked up." Boss said,

"We're on our way." I said, hanging up the phone.

Brady got us closer to the island, I noticed Boss was shooting security guards on the helipad, but there were too many guards to land, "It's too hot down there." Carlos said on the phone to Boss.

We flew past the helipad,"Brady get me a good vantage." I said, grabbing a rifle that was in the helicopter,

"Sara what are you doing?" Carlos asked,

"Helping Boss." I said and started shooting some of the security guards around Boss.

Once the herd was thinned out I tossed the rifle aside, "Take her down Brady." I said. We started lowering down to Boss, "Get in!" I said, holding out my hand to help him get in,

"Thanks."

"Here, you might need this." I handed him the rifle.

We started back towards the city, "Who's your new friend?" Boss asked,

"This is Brady." I said, "Neither of us know how to fly a helicopter and Brady owed me so here we are."

"Well at least you got me out of there." He shot at a police helicopter that was following us.

I looked down and noticed Boss had brought a vial of green goo, "Is that radioactive waste?!" I asked,

"Yep." He kept shooting,

"What are you doing with it?"

"It's a present for the Brotherhood." I was about to ask another question when the helicopter lurched,

"Hang on, we're going down!" Carlos said.

The helicopter went into a tailspin, everything happened so fast, one second Carlos was hanging onto me and the next we were thrown from the helicopter and into a parking lot. We both rolled for a few feet before stopping, "Shit." I groaned, it was definitely a rough landing, though nothing had appeared to be broken and that was something I was grateful for.

Carlos got up, "Sara, you okay?"

"Yeah, just a few scrapes, thank God." I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up.

Boss approached us, "Nice getaway plan guys..." He said,

"Fuck off, at least we had a plan!" I glared at him,

"Hey, we walked away from the crash, that's good enough for me." Carlos said, stepping between Boss and I, "So whadda we do now?"

"We jack a car and get the hell outta here." He walked up to a parked car and busted the window, "C'mon." Carlos and I got in the car and we drove away from the crash site. Carlos and I made sure the cops stayed off our asses while Boss drove, but he was going too fast for them to really keep up with us.

Boss drove us up to a Rusty's Needle which was when it connected what his plan was, "I guess the radioactive waste makes sense now." I said as I got out of the car,

"I'm gonna finish up here, you guys should get outta here."

"Sure thing Boss." I nodded,

"Thanks for the help guys, really."

"Glad we could help." I smirked and Carlos and I went on our way.

For some reason the Brotherhood had gone quiet for a couple of days, they werent even out on the streets, it was weird, but they were plotting something. I was sitting on Carlos' couch still trying to find something... Anything, about their shipment, "I don't know hon are you sure there's even a shipment?" I asked,

"Yes Sara, I know there's a shipment, I heard them talk about it." He said from the bathroom.

I got up and stood in the doorway, "Carlos, maybe you heard things." I said,

"Sara I know what I heard." He said, pushing past me to get out.

I sighed, "Carlos." I caught up to him, "Don't be so angry, I'm just trying to help you."

"I don't need your help Sara!" He turned to me, "I can find stuff out on my own."

"Then why did you ask me specifically a few weeks ago to help you find out about this shipment?"

"Because I thought I needed your help but I don't... I can do this on my own."

I grabbed my stuff, "Okay then, I'll just leave." I blinked away the tears as I left his apartment. I didn't know what was Carlos' problem but he had never acted like that to me before, it made me feel bad but he just needed his space and maybe it was for the best.

I approached the front of my house, I hadn't been home since my mom and I got into that argument, I hadn't talked to her since then. I sighed and walked up the front steps, "Mom...? I'm home..." I said as I opened the door. In the living room I heard the TV was on, but no one was in there. There were noises in the kitchen so I headed there, my mom was making something on the stove, "... Mom?"

"Well well, look who finally came back."

I ran up to her and hugged her, "I'm sorry mom! I didn't mean anything I said!" I cried,

"Shh, I know honey, you're not being a bitch, I'm just worried about you." She rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head, "I love you Sara. I just don't want you to get killed." She wiped the tears from my face,

"I know mom." When I was younger I was closer to my dad than my mom, but now that it was me and her, I couldn't afford to lose my relationship with her.

"I don't know what happened Johnny... He just kinda got mad at me for no reason." I said over the phone,

"Whadya expect? A perfect relationship?"

"Well... I mean..."

He chuckled, "You've got a lot to learn about relationships Sara."

I sighed, "Maybe."

"Why don't you come over here for a bit?" Johnny was particularly lonely since Aisha was killed, he played it off like he wasn't but I knew my brother too well.

I looked out the window, "What did you have in mind?" Rain was pouring down in the yard, "I mean, its raining out."

"You want me to come pick you up?"

"Nah, I can walk, I take the same route every time. I promise I wont get lost." I grabbed my sweater off of my bed,

"See ya." Johnny said, hanging up the phone.

I walked down the street towards Johnny's house, I couldn't wait to go over there and spend some time with my brother, I couldn't remember the last time just him and I spent time together. The rain had died down a bit which was nice though I wasn't going to be enjoying it for much longer. Something pulled me aside into an alley and threw me to the ground, "What the fuck?!" I looked up and saw a figure approaching from the dark alley. A deep laugh came from the figure that was coming towards me. I stood up, "Maero, should have known you wouldn't stay quiet."

Some of his lieutenants came out of the shadows of the alleys like some type of horror movie. I looked around for some way out, anyway out, but it didn't look good for me, I was cornered. I stepped back a way from Maero, "If you knew why do you seem so surprised?" he asked,

"Because this time you actually brought your crew with you." I noticed the burn scar on his face, I held in a laugh, but it was funny.

He noticed me staring, "Admiring your handiwork?"

"Its not mine, that one was all Boss... What do you want Maero? You gonna kill me or make me do something to hurt the Saints?"

"You're a smart girl Sara, you could figure it out."

I glared at him, "Sorry Maero but I'm not as weak as Donnie. I'd rather die than do anything to hurt the Saints."

He grabbed me by the neck and lifted me off the ground, "Listen little girl, you're gonna regret saying that." He growled,

"The only thing... I regret... Is not being there... When you got... Half your face burned off..." I laughed.

Maero growled and slammed me against a brick wall, "When I'm finished with you, you're gonna wish you were dead." He slammed me against the wall again. I didn't take Maero to be the person to hit a girl, or one as young as I was, but he didn't care, I was a part of the Saints and that made me the enemy. Maero threw me down to the ground, I tried catching my breath but they started beating the shit out of me, not only hitting but kicking and some of them had bats too.

I at least tried covering my face to avoid damage to that area, "Wait." One of the lieutenants said. He got on top of me and pinned my hands to the ground, "Not so tough are ya now huh Sara?" Dj said.

I looked around and noticed Maero was nowhere to be found, "What...? Your boss... Can't do his dirty work himself?" I gasped and coughed,

"Shut up bitch, you're in no position to be a smart ass." I struggled to try and kick him away but his grip was too strong, "You should have just stayed away." He said,

"Fuck... You." I spat a loogie of blood in his face.

He growled and punched me in the nose, I knew it was broken by the noise it made, he kept punching me in the face. The pain was intense at first but the more they kept beating the shit out of me the more numb I became. Then suddenly I blacked out, who knew how long I had been out before I had awoken again, the rain now pouring down. I coughed up something, I think blood, I couldn't see because my face hurt so bad, so I laid there and waited to die.

The next time I woke up from blacking out I was in someone's arms, "Sara? C'mon Sara answer me."

"...Johnny?" I gasped, it was hard to breathe,

"Oh thank God you're okay." He hugged me a little closer,

"Help... Me..." I coughed again,

"Don't worry Sara, just stay with me." I was moving now, I felt weightless in his arms, but I still couldn't stand the pain.

I woke up one more time and I could hear a car engine purring softly, I was in a car, "... It had to have been Maero." Boss said,

"I'm gonna kill that mother fucker." Johnny said, I coughed up again, noticing it was increasingly harder to breathe, "We have to get her to the hospital." Johnny said, and I blacked out again for the final time.

The sun shone in my face, I opened my eyes to find myself back home on the couch. I got up and stretched, was it all a dream? Had I been asleep this long? I walked into the kitchen to see some of the back yard but then it ended a few feet from the patio door, it just became a bright void. Behind me I heard footsteps, "Hey Rosie Posie!" A familiar said,voicemail the only person who ever in my lifetime called me that name,

"Dad...?" I turned around and saw his standing in the doorway, "Dad!" I ran over and gave him a bear hug, "I missed you!"

"I went upstairs for a few seconds. Are you okay?" I looked up at him, he was just as I had remembered. He had the same blonde hair and blue eyes that I had, and the kindest smile a man could have,

"Yeah... I just had a weird dream is all." I let go of him, "Where's mom and Johnny?"

"They went out for a few, they'll be back in a little while." He grabbed his jacket off of the back of one of the chairs in the dining room, "C'mon." He gestured for me to follow him,

"Where are we going?" I asked,

"Let's go get something to eat."

I followed him to the front door, "Shouldn't we wait?"

"Sara, we'll starve to death if we wait for your mom and brother." He ruffled my hair and opened the door. The light outside was so bright I thought I was going to go blind if I kept my eyes open. He stepped through the doorway, but I stopped, "What's the matter kiddo?" My dad turned and looked down at me, I wanted to go with him I missed him a lot, but something was tell me to stay.

I looked up and noticed a picture by the door, one that wasn't there before but I had seen it. It was a picture of me and Johnny when we were younger, both of us smiling on a beach. I grabbed the picture and stared at it, "Johnny..." I whispered, it all made sense, that this wasn't reality and if I followed my dad out that door I would be leaving so much more behind than just Johnny, and I wasn't going to do that when there was still unfinished business. I looked back up at my dad, "Dad... I'm gonna stay here."

"You sure?"

"Yeah... I'm gonna wait for mom and Johnny."

"Okay, I'm not gonna make you come with if you don't want to." He leaned forward and kissed me on the top of the head, "I love you."

I hugged him, "I love you too Dad." I blinked away the tears and let him go, watching as he faded away into the light, closing the front door behind him.

The pain hit me like I was ran over by a freight train, my lungs were burning and my face was stinging. I slowly opened my eyes to find fluorescent lights blinding me, giving me a headache, so I closed my eyes again. In my hand I could feel something in it, something warm and moist, another hand. I squeezed it gently to see who it was, only because I didn't want to open my eyes again, "Oh shit... Sara?"

My heart skipped a beat when I heard his voice, his sweet sweet voice, "Ugh... Carlos?" I groaned, my voice raspy, I needed water.

I heard a noise, he was getting up, "I'm so glad you're okay." I decided to open my eyes anyway, I needed to see his face,

"I feel like I was hit by a train..." I blinked a few times, "Is my face okay?"

"Your face is still beautiful." He smiled,

"About as beautiful as hamburger?" I mustered up a smirk,

"Very funny."

"I thought so... You wanna hook me up with some water? I'm dying here." He nodded and gave me some water.

I started to wake up more throughout the day, Carlos had gave me the details of what really happened after I was out, something about I was nearly dead and I had internal bleeding and broken ribs and a punctured lung, I didn't pay too close attention, I was still drugged up.

Carlos had left to get some food and Johnny came in shortly after, "Look who decided to finally wake her ass up."

"Fuck off." I smirked, he took a seat, "I'm glad you showed up when you did... Who knows what would have happened if you didn't find me." I said, sitting up slightly,

"I don't want to think about it. All that matters is that you're alive."

"How'd you know where to find me?"

"It takes you about 10 minutes to walk to my place, when you didn't answer your phone or show up after an hour I knew something was up, so I went looking for you. Didn't take me long to find you nearly dead in an alley."

"How long have I been out for?"

"Couple of days."

"Days?!" I thought maybe a few hours at least but not days!

Johnny nodded, "What I wanna know is what happened to you." I told him the whole story about Maero cornering me in the alley,

"That mother fucker." he growled,

"Pfft, I could have taken him if I had my gun with me."

"Why didn't you?"

"I may have left it at Carlos' place..." He rolled his eyes, "Look it doesn't matter anymore. It happened and there's nothing we can do about it now." I looked around, "So, where's mom?"

"She went home to get food." I could only imagine how mom was dealing with this situation, she probably had questions that I wasn't going to answer, it was better that way.

I looked back at him and smirked, "What?"

"Did you cry? I bet you did."

"No, I didn't." He said firmly,

"Bullshit, you totally did."

"I don't cry."

"Yes you do, I've seen it."

He rolled his eyes, "I don't cry." He said again, he probably cried, his tough guy act couldn't fool me.

Throughout the day I had some visitors, mostly just Pierce and Shaundi came by and talked for a bit, then Boss showed up, "How ya feeling?"

"Like I was ran over by a semi." I sighed,

"Don't worry about the Brotherhood, we took out one of their strongholds today." He sat down,

"I don't get why Maero would want to beat the shit out of me but not kill me."

"Maybe he was trying to send us a message." He shrugged,

"But killing me would have sent a message too."

"He probably spared you because I spared Donnie's life." I never knew why Maero spared my life, but I didn't ever ask him either.

Carlos had come back later that night, "You didn't have to come back." I said,

"I wanted to, plus I got you something." He pulled a stuffed bear out of a plastic bag,

"Carlos, you didn't have to get me this." I said, but gratefully took it.

He sat down, "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

I sat the stuffed toy aside, "Don't get upset about that. What happened happened."

"It wouldn't have though if I didn't yell at you."

I grabbed his hand, "It's okay babe, really." I gave him a smile, he gave me a smile back,

"I promise I won't let you go again, that's for sure."

"Promise?"

"You know I do." He kissed me on the forehead.