"Shit I think we hit something!" Julien shouted as he climbed out of the warthog, followed by Alfred and Ansell.
"Well, of course we hit something! What do you think that enormous thunk was." Alfred said.
"Shut up you two!" Ansell shouted.
"Why?" the two grunts asked.
"Because if you two idiots haven't noticed, we have several guns aimed at us."
"What side are you on!" Wash shouted.
"UNSC, now who are you?"
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
After about fifteen minutes of introductions and people telling their stories, the new Carolina staying quiet about her own past, and ducking anytime Oregon said so, everyone was acquainted. five minutes were also spent trying to open the drop pod, but it seemed to be sealed shut.
"So half of you guys are criminals and the other half are insane/stupid?" Alfred asked.
"yep that's about right." Answered Sarge "speaking of stupid we should probably do something about Caboose. He may be strong but he's still human. Or whatever, I've never seen him without his helmet come to think about it." He looked over to the drop pod that Oregon and several others were trying to open. "hey weird dude get over here!"
"What do you want? I'm busy trying to not kill everyone here. It's very hard because you guys are jerks."
"How can we save Caboose?"
"Hmm, well CPR is out of the question because that's only good for healing sniper rounds to the head."
"That still doesn't make sense!" Wash shouted from over by the drop pod.
"But there is a fifty precent chance that that sniper has a healing unit."
"What's the other fifty precent?" Alfred asked.
"That the sniper is made of delicious biscuits. Either way, I win."
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
After five minutes of set up a dry erase board with a battle plan had been set up. if you're wondering where the dry erase board came from, screw you. "okay you all understand the plan right?" Wash asked.
"Yep."
"Got it."
"There's only a fifty percent success rate on this, ten percent for failure, and a forty precent chance we spontaneously breakout into song and dance."
"Oh come on. There's no way I'm ever singing." Church snorted.
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
Minutes later...
"And that's what the red and blues are all aboooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut!" Church sang.
JK!
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
"Okay now that we know the plan I have to take roll." Wash said. Church raised his holographic hand. "yes Church?"
"You know we're not children. You don't have to take roll."
"I know that you're not children. You just act like them. Sarge?"
"Here."
"Oregon?"
"Here."
"Church?"
"You know I'm here asshole."
"South Carolina?"
The old Carolina answered "here."
Church turned to her "you're full codename is South Carolina? Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"Because it was never important. Also you never asked."
"North Carolina?"
The new Carolina answered "here. Call me Carol to avoid confusion."
"Ansell."
"Here." Ansell sighed.
"Caboose?" Caboose gargled his own blood a few feet away.
"Alfred?"
"Here."
"Julien?" there was only silence followed by a sniper round that everyone ducked under. "does anyone know were Julien went?"
"He went off with the bad doctor, the scary big dude, the alien, and the annoying guy with the accent." Alfred answered.
"What!" When did that happen?"
"About fifteen minutes ago. They also took one of the warthogs."
"GODDAMMIT!" Caboose gargled more blood "SHUT UP CABOOSE!"