AN: I have once again been blessed with the wonderful gift of free time so updates are officially returning to their weekly schedule. I'm not going to lie, next week might find a Tuesday or Wednesday update because of the holiday, but there will be another chapter out next week, and then the week after that and so on until this bad boy is finished :D Sorry for the wait and enjoy. We are slowly approaching the moment everyone has been waiting for!

Waiting For The End
This is not the end, this is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something empty's within them
We say yeah with fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it, let it all disappear

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control
Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go
-Linkin Park

"So, what was wrong with that one?" Ted said as he climbed back into the driver's seat and buckled his seat belt. There was silence in the car for a beat before Cody sighed.

"I just didn't feel like it was it. You know? I didn't walk in and immediately feel like it was the place that I was destined to get married at. I feel like this area is just too crowded."

"Cody, everything's going to seem crowded. We're in the city." Randy said in a bored duh, tone. That place had marked the fifth venue of the day, and Cody hadn't liked any of them.

"I know that, but I don't want it to feel that way."

"How do you want it to feel then?" Ted asked exasperated. Over the past few weeks when they had picked out the possible locations Cody had been perfectly content with them and he had swore that they had one picked out, put as soon as they viewed the rooms, Cody's mind had changed.

"I don't know Ted! I just know that I should walk in and look around and feel something other than disappointment."

Randy cleared his throat knowing that Cody was reaching the end of his rope. "There's always out of state. I mean I love New York, but I didn't choose a venue here."

"That could work..." Cody trailed off.

"Out of state? Wouldn't that only make things worse? Driving all the way out somewhere only for you to hate it as well? Having people fly out and having to arrange things for them in a city we don't know as well? It could turn into a disaster."

"But it could be cheaper Ted. Part of the reason these venues suck so bad is partially because we can't afford the better ones."

"What about the Plaza?" This time it was John who stepped in to try and prevent the argument they all knew was brewing up.

"That is definitely out of our price range. And the date is set for July hopefully, there's no way we can book the Plaza for a date three months away."

"I can call a couple of people and see if it's possible."

"You would do that seriously?" Ted asked as he turned around to stare at John incredulously.

"Even if you were to work your magic, there's no way in hell we could afford that place."

"I can cover you guys; consider it my wedding gift to you. It's partially my fault anyway that the wedding has to be so soon."

"No, I couldn't ask of that from you. We'll find a place that works within our budget. I know we will."

"What if we don't Codes. It's the Plaza. That's fucking amazing."

"Ted, you know that's so far out of our budget. We'll find some place that we can afford I know we will."

"Well, our budget would be a lot nicer if your parents were helping us out even a little. Maybe then we wouldn't have to be playing which shithole is the best for our big day." The second the words were out of his mouth everyone knew that Ted had taken the light lover's spat too far.

Randy saw Cody's face go blank as his eyes became glassy and knew that Cody was about to explode. "How fucking dare you. I told you how I felt about this. I don't want to have to ask anyone to help pay for our wedding. I've been independent for too damn long to go crawling back now."

"Cody, you know-" But before Ted could finish what he was about to say, Cody was already out of the truck and the door was slamming shut behind him.

Ted looked over his shoulder at John and Randy in the backseat, but Randy just stared pointedly back. "You dug yourself into this one; I'm not going after him."

Ted sighed before he opened his door and walked in the direction Cody had taken off in.

"Is it normal for couple to argue this much when planning their wedding? I thought it was supposed to be a happy day, but from the looks of things those two might not even make it down to the altar." John said as he stared out to where Cody and Ted had continued their argument on the side of one of the buildings. He wasn't expecting Randy to answer seeing as it had been a rhetorical question, so when Randy did reply he was taken aback.

"Planning a wedding is only happy in the days before you actually start to plan it. After that it's all down hill. In my opinion sometimes planning a marriage can be more of a test than the actual marriage part."

"You speak as if you know from experience."

Randy was silent for so long John hadn't been expecting an answer any longer when it came.

"I have planned a wedding before." John's head whipped over to look at Randy in shock, but Randy's gaze was trained out the window.

"Someone was crazy enough to let you plan their wedding? Who the hell would do that?"

"They were more than crazy."

Looking back on it, Randy was sure that he could have pled temporary insanity for his actions. That or just being young and dumb, but then again that was the same as insane.

At twenty-five he had been one hundred percent sure that he was ready to get married, and that he had met the man he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

He had believed in the true love shit, and was absolutely positive that once married he would grow old with his husband. It definitely wasn't his brightest moment. Especially because the man he had fallen in love with was already married.

Randy had met Dave one evening after one of Chris' shows. He was in the back waiting for Chris to finish packing up so they could leave when Dave walked over to talk about training or something. One look at Dave, and Randy knew that he wanted him. And if the looks Dave were sending him were anything to go by, the feeling was mutual. But being that Randy was dating Chris at the time and Dave and Chris were good friends, they only lightly flirted, but it didn't take long for Chris to catch on as to why Randy suddenly wanted to go to the gym with him more often or go to more of his shows. Once he figured it out, he broke things off with Randy and whished him well on being with Dave.

But what Chris forgot to mention and what Randy had failed to realize even after hanging out with Dave for months was that he was married. And on top of that he had a kid.

Now Randy was no home wrecker. He didn't like the fact that Dave already had a family and that he could be the one to break it up. But he also couldn't help the fact that he was too emotionally invested by the time he found out. Dave had promised him that his relationship with his wife was not the best and that they had already discussed divorce before Randy came into the picture, but it didn't do anything to lessen the guilt Randy felt or make him feel like less of a home wrecker.

So they snuck around behind the back of Dave's wife, but Randy considered it a relationship because it felt like one and Dave would call him his boyfriend. Thought the first two years of the relationship Dave had promised that he was planning on divorcing his wife. He always claimed he was waiting for his daughter to get a little older so she could properly handle the break-up, but things began to change once Randy finished grad school.

Working at his father's magazine had put him in the limelight and neither he nor Dave liked it. It limited even more the little time they were able to spend together and it made it even harder to keep what they were doing under wraps. And because of that, Randy became even more agitated with how things were progressing so he began to push Dave to finalize the divorce.

Naturally this caused a lot of arguments between them and Randy began to doubt more and more if Dave was ever going to get a divorce, so he broke up with him. But they weren't able to say away from each other for too long. So Dave did actually get the divorce and they got back together.

They were happy together for about another year before things began to get rocky again. Dave didn't want his relationship with Randy splayed out over the tabloid covers because he felt it was too soon following his divorce, but Randy was sure the true reason behind Dave's hesitance was everyone finding out that he was gay. But Randy didn't push it because he figured it didn't matter. He loved Dave and Dave loved him and that was all he needed. But slowly even that wasn't enough.

Randy didn't know how or why it happened, but he began to feel like the only logical next step for them to take was marriage. He wanted to get married badly. Really badly. He dropped little hints to Dave, but Dave ignored them until one night he finally told Randy he wasn't ready for it. He knew how big of a deal it would be because of Randy's newfound celebrity status and didn't want to go through it. But Randy wasn't content with that answer.

So in probably one of the most childish things he had ever done, he gave Dave an ultimatum; get married or break up. It worked and Dave, not wanting to lose Randy finally said yes to the marriage proposal.

Randy set out to plan what he was sure was going to be the happiest day of his life and Dave played along, but it wasn't a very happy time for them. They argued over the size of the wedding, the location of it, when it was to take place, anything worth arguing over they did. But Randy didn't let it faze him. He knew he loved Dave and once all of the stress from getting married was over things would go back to normal.

What he wasn't expecting was to be jilted. Dave never showed up to the wedding. He got cold feet and began to fear how much his life would change once everyone found out about their relationship so he fled. Randy had never been so angry in his life, but even the anger didn't mask how hurt he had been.

When he ran back to the hotel he saw Dave leaving the room with his things packed. Randy begged and pleaded for Dave not to leave. He told him the wedding didn't matter anymore and he didn't care if they never got married. But Dave didn't buy it. He told Randy that it was best if they called it quits on the relationship and just went on their separate ways.

It was the first time he had suffered from true heartbreak. The other time he had broken up with Dave, he knew there was a chance that it might not have been final, but the look in Dave's eyes when he left; Randy knew that there was no fixing their relationship.

It was after the relationship ended that Randy hardened himself towards relationships. He had promised himself that he would never let himself feel the way he had when Dave left him again. Luckily for him the wedding was small and out of the city and they had managed to keep it under wraps from the press so no one outside of the small few invited to the wedding knew about what happened. He stopped dating and having relationships all around until Nick had come into the picture. It was because of what happened with Dave that he promised he would never mess around with someone who was closeted again.

"Why did Cody get so upset about the parent comment?" Lost in his thoughts, it took Randy a while to remember what it was that John was referring to.

"Ted hasn't told you about Cody's relationship with his family?"

"I don't remember him telling me anything."

"Cody's family didn't want him to skip out on college. They didn't like the idea of him trying to make a living as a model. So when he decided to move to NYC, they cut him off. He's only spoken to them maybe four times since then."

"Now it all makes sense." John said as he looked out of the window to see if Ted had made any progress with Cody. What he saw was Cody walking down the street and Ted chasing and calling out after him.

John feeling Randy's piercing gaze on him slowly looked over and sent Randy a questioning glance. "How long do you think it'll take for Cody to forgive him?"

"Under normal conditions, Cody wouldn't have cared in the first place. He got over the lack of love and affection from his parents a long time ago, but seeing as he's had heightened emotions lately this could take another thirty minutes before he realize he's over-reacting."

"What the hell am I supposed to do for another half an hour?" John cried out incredulously.

"I can think of a few things." Randy said with a leer and an over exaggerated eyebrow wiggle as he scooted closer to John in the car until their shoulders and thighs were pressed against each other.

"I recommend you go back over to your side of the car because there's no way in hell that anything is going to happen ri-" Before John could finish saying what he intended to say Randy's mouth was attacking his.

Of course his natural instinct was to shove Randy off of him, but he was going to blame the element of surprise as to why he didn't. Instead he pulled Randy closer until he was half straddling him.

Randy's hand traveled down and inside the waistband of John's pants and John let out a loud gasp when he came into contact with his dick.

"Still want me to go back over to my side of the car?" Randy asked with a smug smirk as he began to slowly stroke up and down the length of John. John responded by kissing Randy again.

Soon the car was filled with the harsh sound of John's breathing. "Fuck yeah, just like that don't stop." Randy felt John's body began to tense and smirked even harder when John's orgasm finally hit.

They were both silent as Randy wiped his hand clean with one of the Kleenex tissues that were in the car and slid back over to his side of the car. They were saved from having to fill the silence when Cody and Ted finally returned to the car minutes later.

Nick stood in the middle of Randy's bedroom unsure what to do. Part of him wanted to trash the apartment and burn all of Randy's clothes, but he knew that would be too dramatic. He also knew that he wasn't going to do anything. But he didn't want to leave. That would make the break up real, and it all seemed to final to Nick.

It had come from left field. He hadn't been expecting it. He was expecting Randy to ask him to move in. But just like that, it all seemed to be over. He didn't want to believe it. So in order to postpone his departure he showered, and then he cleaned the bedroom and bathroom again and straightened up Randy's closet.

His hope was by the time he finished procrastinating his departure, Randy would be back and seeing him would make him realize the mistake he made and they would be back together again. He knew it was a far to hope for it, but it was all he had.

He heard footsteps in the living room and practically ran out to see if Randy was back yet, but he saw Johnny there instead.

"What the hell are you doing here and how did you get in?" He inquired as Johnny downed the bottle of water he held in his hand.

"I slept in the guest room last night. After Randy left I figured I'd stay back and used his gym. I didn't know you were here."

"Oh." Nick said as he leant against the doorway. He couldn't help but be disappointed that it wasn't Randy.

"Do you need me to leave? Am I in your way?"

Nick slowly walked over and sat in the chair across from where Johnny was sprawled out on the living room floor. He guessed it was so he didn't get sweat on any of the furniture. He figured making small talk with Johnny was a good way to postpone his departure. "No you're fine. Are you training or just working out?"

"Training, I've got a fight coming up next month." Johnny said as he began to do sit-ups.

"Oh, how come you didn't go with Cody and Randy?"

Johnny stopped mid sit-up and let out a sigh before he continued on. "I wasn't invited, and even if I had been, I wouldn't have gone. I'd rather not be around all of that right now."

And just like that Nick felt like the biggest ass on the face of the Earth. How could he have forgotten the whole Cody and Johnny tango? He had been around Randy long enough to catch bits and pieces of what happened between the two. "Shit, I'm sorry. I don't know how I could have forgotten about the Cody thing."

"No worries."

"It's a bitch isn't it? Loving someone with everything in you, and laying it all out for them only for them to drag you along giving you hope that one day, things would turn out how you want only to have them yank it all from underneath you."

This time Johnny stopped his sit-ups altogether before he turned to Nick. "Yeah, but don't worry, Randy's all show. He may claim that he doesn't really want a relationship and tell you not to love him, but he cares about you. You're the first relationship he's been in since Dave and trust me, that counts for something."

"Randy broke up with me last nigh."

This time it was Johnny's turn to feel like the idiot. "What? How the hell did I not know this? Did he tell you why?"

"Something about never being able to love me and wasting time, it was all very sudden." As Nick spoke he felt the tears begin to well up in his eyes again at the reminder. Johnny, feeling guilty about what he had said quickly stood up and sat next to Nick awkwardly trying to comfort him.

"Shit, that sucks." Johnny felt Nick begin to shake and at first he thought it was from crying harder, but he soon realize it was from laughter. "Look at us, stupidly in love with assholes who couldn't give two shits about us."

"But he's such a good looking asshole." Nick said as he sighed and began to wipe the remaining tears from his eyes.

"He's an asshole who I can't seem to get over, but I have to. You do too. Trust me; it doesn't help to keep hopelessly wishing you're going to be together."

"I don't plan on getting over Randy."

"You're going to spend the rest of your life wishing he'll finally realize the mistake he made?"

"No, I'm going to make him realize the mistake he made. He'll come back to me, I know it."

Johnny didn't know what to say to that. He didn't like the possessive tone in Nick's voice, but he did sympathize with him. He just hoped Randy was prepared to face what he had gotten himself into by dragging Nick along for so long and then just dumping him.