Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII

Warnings: Self Goodbye, Tissue, Sap

Mindless Babble:

The night before he was to return to work, a thunderstorm broke over the city of Midgard. Reno sat on the roof of his apartment building watching the lightening crack across the sky. Even after a week of being home, his thoughts still confused him. He had no memory of the night after Ashii had died in his arms. Rude had told him of the Hell Knight but it still seemed like a faded dream.

The first drop of rain landed on Reno's forehead, startling him. Many other drops quickly joined the first and in a matter of a few minutes, Reno was soaked.

He stood up and walked to the edge of the roof. He was tired of being confused and feeling so alone. Sure, Elena, Rude and even Tseng and Rufus had visited him, but he couldn't feel it. All he felt was

Lost.

He threw his head back and, spreading his arms wide, let the rain kiss fair skin. Soft strands of red silk smoothed itself against his skull. His mind went blank and for a moment he was at peace.

At least until he found himself being assaulted by two powerfully built men. They pulled him away the edge and against the door that opened to the stairs leading to his apartment. Reno managed to get one foot up and onto the chest of one of his attackers and pushed him into the other. He scrambled to get back up as the more nimble of the two assailants rushed at him, pinning Reno to the door.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Reno couldn't remember ever seeing Tseng loose his cool like this.

Pools of deep blue opened wide as he realized what the other man was implying. "I wasn't going to jump, yo." He blinked slowly. "Was I?"

Tseng saw the pain and confusion and loosened his grip. "What's with you? You've been out of it since you woke up."

Reno let his gaze drop, unable to look into the piercing eyes of his boss. "I...I don't want to talk about it." He glanced up to see his partner joining Tseng, his body screaming concern. "Not yet at least."

Tseng let go completely, sighing. "We came to pick you up."

"Huh? Where're we going?"

"Cloud said he needed to speak with you, so we're taking you to Tifa's bar," Rude replied, straightening his tie. He had managed to get his emotion under control, concealing them behind the mask of indifference he always wore, but his heart was still racing.

"Now?"

"He did say it was urgent," Tseng said, thinking that if what he had seen was any indication, then this "mission" was to be given top priority if they were to bring Reno back from the brink.

Reno's head dropped in resignation. "Then let's get this over with."

Tifa looked up as the three men walked into her bar. Even though it had been a long time since she had considered them enemies, the dark blue suits still caused a shiver of fear to run up her spine every time she saw one. She smiled at them to cover her discomfort.

"Cloud's in the back," she said as her smile grew even wider at the sight of the bigger Turk. "Hey, Rude? Can I get you to help Barret hang a mirror for me?"

The dark skinned man grinned, knowing full well that he couldn't refuse any request the pretty, young brunette asked of him. He once had a serious crush on her but over time it had transformed in to something more akin to his relationship with Elena; Tifa being another little sister in his "family". He nodded and joined the other man in trying to figure out how to hang the massive mirror.

Tseng sat Reno down at the bar and glanced at Tifa. "Would it be okay if I spoke to Cloud for a moment?"

Tifa nodded and pointed a thumb towards a door behind her. "First door on your right."

Tseng nodded his thanks and walked to the small storage room. Stepping in, he caught sight of the spiky blond hair. "Cloud?"

"Oh, hey Tseng! Reno's here?" Cloud shoved a box of rock salt onto the shelf and approached the Wutain man.

Tseng glanced over his shoulder to where the bar was. "Define 'here'."

Cloud's features darkened. "I take it the recovery isn't going well?"

Black hair brushed the shoulders of the dark blue suit. "We got him back just to watch him slowly fade. Rude and I caught him attempting to take a swan dive off his apartment building "

Mako blue eyes widened. "Shit!" He sighed. "I don't get it. What happened to him to make him give up on his life?"

Tseng gave a half hearted shrug and returned his focus to the blond warrior. "I don't know, but Rufus seemed to think this might help Reno." He handed Cloud a small satin bag with something heavy inside. "I don't know what it is but Rufus insisted that it be given to him."

"Why didn't he give it to Reno, himself?" Cloud asked, stowing the bag in an inner pocket to keep it safe.

Tseng tried to keep the tremor out of his voice. "The President is in mourning for a lost sister. He and Ashii apparently grew close, even if he didn't mean for it to happen."

For the second time in five minutes, Cloud found himself surprised at the actions of the Turks and their boss. "Fine, I'll deliver it to him and send my bill to Rufus."

Tseng smiled as he and Cloud walked back into the main room.

Reno was sitting at the bar, watching as Rude and Barret tried to hang the mirror to Tifa's satisfaction. Unfortunately, when it came to her tavern, the woman was nigh on impossible to please.

"A little higher . Nope, too high wait . Maybe if you lowered your side Rude ."

"Damnit, woman! Make up you mind!" Barret growled out.

"Well, maybe if we... "

Reno barely heard anything that was said. A pair of blinking brown eyes had caught his attention. They were peeking around the corner of the actual bar, staring in wonder at the Turk.

Reno tried to smile at the young girl, -Marlene?- and knelt in front of her, making him, hopefully, less scary. "Hey there, Princess. Isn't it a little late for you to be up?"

"Couldn't sleep with all the noise," came the reply as the young girl crept out from the shadows. "Are you a friend of Daddy's?"

"Depends on who 'Daddy' is?" Marlene laughed softly as she pointed at Barret. Reno paled and shook his head. "No, I don't think your daddy would call me a friend "

A little girl giggle reached his ears a moment before the question that froze his heart. "Are you a daddy, Mister?"

"I was supposed to be "

Rude and Barret dropped the mirror, the frame slamming into the floor so hard it left its imprint in the wood. Tifa spun around, seeing Cloud and Tseng emerging from the hallway just in time to hear the softly spoken words. Reno didn't even notice the sudden silence.

"She would have been about you age "

"What happened to her?" Marlene asked, completely unaware of the pain the man in front of her was feeling

"She was killed by a really bad man who held her mom hostage," Reno tried to explain without scaring the girl. Hell, he was already scaring himself.

Things started to click into place for Rude. He had heard a rumor about the night after an eighteen year old Reno had been recruited into the Turks; he had tried to sneak out in the middle of the night. Looking at Marlene, Rude did the math and came to a terrifying truth.

"Didn't you help her?" the child's innocent question sent a wave of physical pain through the man.

"I...I tired but by the time I got there, it was too late." Reno turned away from the girl, trying to hide the tears.

"What about her Mommy?"

"I was too late to save her too ."

Marlene stepped up to the man. She gently wrapped her arms around Reno, the infamous mass murderer, and hugged him. "My mommy's dead too. Maybe Daddy would let me be your daughter for a while like I am with Cloud. Then maybe you wouldn't feel so alone and your heart would hurt less."

Reno allowed his arms to return the hug, softly whispering, "Maybe."