If I Had a Heart: The Saga of Ivar and Ita

Chapter 10

It was nearly light when Hvitserk made it back to camp. He nodded to the guards on his way into his brothers' tent, and upon seeing Ivar sitting up awake so early in the morning, he paused a moment, bracing himself for whatever verbal lashing was coming.

"I'm sure you already know what I am about to ask," Ivar said without even looking at his brother. He kept his eyes low, glued on the droplets of liquid on the rim of the cup in his hands.

"I assure you, she is safe," Hvitserk said.

"Oh?"

"I saw her myself not long ago," he explained. "She is staying with the ruler of the city and his family."

Ivar looked up then, eyebrows raised. "You left her with them?"

"She insisted," Hvitserk said, settling down in a chair across from him. "She asked to spend the night so that upon her return they would not suspect anything. Anyhow, brother, it hardly makes any difference. If I had brought her home when I found her, she would have only been going right back in. It is nearly daylight now."

"It hardly makes any difference?" Ivar said, quite a bit louder. "Hvitserk, she is our only link to these people. If we lose her, we may well lose the city. All this hard work and planning will be for nothing. We will be going in blind!"

"I only meant that it would not make sense to take her out and make her go right back in," Hvitserk replied. "We agreed to meet again tomorrow – well, today."

"Good. Go into the city as soon as you can without looking suspicious, and bring her back here," Ivar said.

"Don't you think she needs a bit more time to learn some more? If we take her out too soon, it could ruin everything," Hvitserk said.

"I didn't say I was keeping her here."

It was a little riskier this way, going in during the day, walking around without the cloak, and without any weapon but a small knife tucked in his pocket; but nonetheless Hvitserk made his way up the road and through the market toward the lord's house. He glanced over to the balcony and the vines he had scaled the night before to get to Ita's room. Surely she would have been moved by now to a different room, and there were now others who would see him if he tried the same thing again. Loitering would have to be enough.

He picked a wall and leaned against it, watching the people as they passed, mostly men, a few women, even fewer children. Most of them, he deduced, were guards or servants, as they all seemed to be doing some kind of job that pertained to the upkeep of the house and its inhabitants. It was impressive, really, just how many people it took. He would have to remember that once the house was under the new management.

But after a while, standing and waiting idly became tiresome and he decided to take action. He looked around, and once he was sure no one was watching, he walked along the wall as he had the night before until he reached the vined trellis and he climbed quickly and quietly up to the balcony. Before he even pulled himself up all the way onto it, he heard laughter and talking – and a man's voice. He stood carefully and pulled back the curtain just enough to look inside with one eye.

"You look wonderful," the man's voice said.

In the center of the room, Hvitserk could see Ita standing in a long, flowing pale blue dress, and behind her, doing up the buttons, was a man just a few inches taller than she was with short black hair. He touched her shoulder and she turned around to face him, a bright smile on her face, and she hugged him.

"Thank you," she said.

"It's the truth, love," he said.

Ita touched the man's cheek. "I am so happy to see you again."

"Then don't leave," he said. "Stay here."

"You know I can't do that," she said, looking a bit sad.

"Then tell me where you're going."

"I…I can't," she shook her head.

"I haven't seen you in over a year and you're already telling me you have to leave," he said.

She laughed tiredly and shook her head again, lowering her eyes. The man placed his hand under her chin and made her look at him again. He smiled, and he wiped a tear from her eye before it fell, making her smile back.

"It's for the best," she said.

"Are you running from something?" he asked. "What's happened in this last year Ita? What have you done? Whatever it is, I can help."

She shook her head. "No, nothing. I'm just happy to see you again."

Hvitserk let the curtain fall, disgusted. Who was this man? How did Ita know him? He could only assume it was some former lover. Maybe a husband, based on how they were acting. He didn't like the way it looked.

Having seen enough, he lowered himself to the ground again, but before his feet even touched down, a voice behind him startled him, causing him to land flat on his ass instead of his feet. His head bolted up and in front of him stood a uniformed guard with a sword at his hip. Hvitserk jumped to his feet, his heart racing. He didn't understand what the guard was saying to him, but he sounded angry and he was moving toward him with considerable speed. So Hvitserk took his chance to turn around and run.

Ita had never seen a mirror before, but there was a very large one in her new bedroom in Lord Cadhla's house. She discovered it soon after Diarmait had brought her her new clothes and Brigid had shown her to her room. Ita was far from vain, but she knew that if given the opportunity, she could have spent the whole day standing in front of it, staring at her own reflection. It was much clearer than the murky, rippled, translucent reflection of herself she sometimes saw in water; this reflection almost looked like another person was standing directly in front of her, doing just as she did as soon as she did it. She had never seen anything like it before.

Down the hall, she heard a high, surprised scream, which pulled her out of the distraction of this fascinating and perplexing mirror world. Quickly, she ran out her door in the direction of the scream, having traced it back to Brigid's room.

Damn it, Hvitserk, if you're stupid enough to –

But then she heard something strange: a laugh. Ita slowed her pace, confused, and slightly less concerned. The door to Brigid's bedroom was slightly ajar, and Ita could see some movement inside. Curiously, she peered in, and against the far wall, Ita could see Brigid with her hands in Diarmait's short black hair as he kissed her neck. Brigid's skirt was pulled up much too high and one of her legs was wound around his waist. His trousers hung lower than usual and his hips were moving in a slow, steady rhythm. Brigid moaned softly and smiled, kissing his shoulder as he grabbed her other leg and wrapped it around his waist.

"Shit," Ita muttered, averting her eyes, and she continued walking.

That was something she probably should never have seen. She knew it was something she never wanted to have seen. She kept walking until she made it outside, and even further until she made it to the field behind the house where a few yards off she could see the stable houses. Ita settled down on the ground and looked around, admiring the golden-brown sunbaked grass which was peppered with little yellow flowers. It was soothing, and much more worthy of admiration than her mirror. The voice inside her head told her that she should be getting to know the layout of the city a little better, or trying to find Hvitserk, but after all she had been through in the last year, she thought she deserved to sit for a minute and admire the landscape. And anyhow, she technically was getting to know the layout of the city – she had just found the lord's stable houses. That ought to be worth something.

"Seamus, no! Come back! Don't bother that lady!" she heard a child's voice shouting behind her, and when she looked around, she saw a large shaggy gray dog lumbering toward her, chased by a small boy with blonde hair.

The dog did a fine job of ignoring its little master as it nearly crashed into her, stopping just in time to bump into her shoulder. She laughed and petted its head, having to reach quite high.

This dog might be bigger than Bjorn, she thought amusedly. About as vicious as I've seen him be so far, too.

"Well, hello there," she said, letting the dog lick her hand.

"I'm sorry about my dog," the boy said, out of breath.

"He's alright. He seems nice enough," she said.

"He's supposed to be a guard dog. That's what me dad says anyway, but I say he's about as good a guard dog as I am," the boy said. "He'll more likely lick you to death than attack. Not that I'll lick you, but you know what I mean."

"He's probably quite intimidating from a distance, I bet," she said with a smile. "Aren't you, Seamus? You're probably right terrifying."

"Hey, I ain't seen you around before," the boy said, putting his hands on his hips and scrutinizing Ita.

"'Cause I ain't from here," she said.

"Didn't think so," he said.

"And why's that?"

"You're not so proper as Lady Brigid, not that she's exactly proper neither."

"I know what you mean," Ita chuckled.

"And you talk different," he added.

"I talk different, do I?" she said.

"Yeah, you talk like my dad and me, not like one of these proper ladies," he said.

"I guess that's because I came from a family like yours and your dad's," she said.

"What's your name?" he asked, sitting down in front of her.

"Ita."

"Like the saint?" he said excitedly, almost bouncing.

"Yes, I suppose so. Like the saint," she said. "What about yourself?"

"Padraig," he beamed, "like the saint also."

"Well it's nice to meet you, Padraig," she said. "And you, too, Seamus!" She scratched the dog's chest gently.

"He says it's nice to meet you, too," Padraig said, sitting up on his knees and rubbing the dog's ears. "He also wants me to ask you why you're out here in the grass in your fancy clothes."

"I didn't want to stay in there all day and I don't got much else to wear out in the grass," she said.

"Well why're you out in the grass at all? Don't ladies have appointments and lessons and things?"

"You ask a lot of questions, Padraig," Ita said.

"I just want to know things," he shrugged. "Me mother says questions are good for learning."

"Your mother is very right," she answered. "You know, maybe you could help me with some learning."

"What is it you're needing to learn?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Could you tell me how to get to the main road from here?" she asked.

"Oh, it's just around the house and that way up the road that crosses in front of the house," he said, and he pointed to show her.

"Thank you very much, Padraig," she said with a smile, and she stood, brushing herself off.

"You're welcome."

"Now you and Seamus take care of yourselves and don't go getting into any trouble. Try to teach him some better guard dog behaviors," she said.

He laughed. "Alright."

"Be safe," she said. "Maybe I'll see you around another time."

"See you," he said, waving to her as she walked off.

He was a sweet kid, she thought, and she wondered as she walked back up to the road if the Northmen spared children. She hoped they did. Ita looked up, and across the road ahead of her, sitting lazily under a tree, she saw Hvitserk. She smiled as she crossed the road to meet him, glad to see him and slightly amused at the sight of him in the clothes of an Irish peasant.

He nodded for her to join him, a frown on his face.

"Hvitserk," she said as she stood over him, "is something wrong?"

"Do you want to tell me what's going on here, Ita?" he asked, his voice low.

Confused, she shook her head. "What do you mean?"

"I saw you with a man this morning. A man who said he knew you and hadn't seen you in over a year," he said. "You two seemed rather friendly, at least to my eyes." He looked past her, nodding to the field where she had just come from where the boy and his dog were seen playing in the knee-high grass. "And I just saw you playing with a little boy just young enough, I'd say, to be your child. Who are you, Ita? Why are we here?"

"You don't understand," she said, kneeling in front of him where he sat, and he sat up, putting his face just inches away from hers.

"I don't?" he asked harshly. "Then you had best explain yourself."

She jabbed a finger up in the direction of the balcony. "That man is my uncle. His name is Diarmait and he is the younger half-brother of my mother. He was like a brother to me growing up and he is the closest thing I have ever had to a friend my own age. But he is family, nothing more. And the little boy, I would guess, is the son of one of the lord's servants. I've never seen him before in my life. His dog came barreling out of the stables at me and he chased it out."

"Really?" he said skeptically.

"Really," she said in affirmation.

His expression softened after a moment, and he nodded. "Suppose I choose to believe that?"

"I would be grateful, especially considering it is the truth," she said.

"Alright," he sighed. "I won't tell Ivar either way."

"Thank you," she said.

"But," he started, standing and offering her his hand, "I did tell Ivar that I would bring you back today. Just for the afternoon."

"Sounds good to me."

"You're sure you won't be missed?"

She glanced back up to the balcony. "Oh, I think they're a bit distracted at the moment."

So they went on up the road toward the city gates, and they weren't stopped once. At least, not until they tried to pass through, out of the city. The guard, a tall, broad Scot who was almost a whole head taller than Hvitserk, barred their way, eyeing them suspiciously. Ita put her shoulders back and raised her chin. She straightened her back and did her best to hide her limp as they made their way closer to the guard at the gate.

"Hey, where do you two think you're going?" he asked, giving his attention to Hvitserk.

But before Hvitserk could respond or give any indication that he did not understand, Ita jumped in with, "We're going to visit my sister. Should be back by nightfall, sir."

"Aye, and you're bringing your stable boy with you?" he said, jabbing a thumb at Hvitserk.

"He isn't a stable boy," she said.

"Who is he then?"

"My brother's servant," she said quickly. "My own lady's maid has the day off, you see, and anyway two young ladies walking all alone wouldn't be safe, now would it?"

"Ah," the guard nodded, still visibly in disbelief, but he let them pass. "Just make sure that you are back by nightfall."

"I will," she said with an innocent little smile. "Thank you."

Once they were just out of earshot of the gate, Hvitserk looked at her, eyes wide in confusion.

"What the fuck was that about?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"What did you say to him?"

"That I'm going to visit my sister and I'm bringing my brother's manservant with me," she said. "Promised him we'd be back by nightfall."

"Why did you tell him that?" Hvitserk said, obviously not overjoyed by being called someone's manservant.

"Did you want me to tell him the truth?"

"No!" he cried. "But the next town isn't for miles – it would probably take hours just to get there. He'll surely know that, so what sister could you possibly be going to visit that you could return by nightfall? You may be a good liar, but that one was terrible!"

"Calm down," she chuckled. "He probably thinks we're just going to have sex in the woods. It doesn't matter if he believed my story or not."

"You know, I was wrong about you," Hvitserk said with a laugh.

"What do you mean?"

"You aren't as crazy as Ivar," he said. "You might just be crazier."

"I'm not the full-grown Viking walking around a quiet little city wearing dirty stolen clothes that don't even fit me right," she said. "At least I can play the part."

"Oh yeah?" he teased.

"Yes," she said, quite properly. "For that guard, I was a proper lady, who…may or may not have been so proper, truth be told – but she was good at covering it up. For Brigid, I'm an innocent girl with a limp who happens to be related to the servant she's secretly sharing her bed with. And when I spoke with that little boy out in the field, I was a kind, simple peasant girl, despite the lady's clothing. The only people I can't put on a mask for are my uncle, and you and your brothers. You shouldn't underestimate me, you know. I know what I'm doing."

"Yes, and you're being very reckless about it," he said.

She laughed, leaning in close as they continued down the road. "That's what keeps it interesting," she said in a low voice, and he laughed, too.