Chapter Ten

Jamie did go back that night, to find that he was not allowed into his wife's room. Eddie had asked the doctor to please ban all visitors including her husband. She was sick, tired, and depressed. She didn't want to see anyone. For three days, from noon until ten pm Jamie would sit outside her room and pray, hope, wish that she'd allow him inside so he could apologize. He'd sent her cards, flowers, wrote her a letter, but still nothing he could say or do would soften her heart.

Finally on the very last day, Eddie relented. Lila had been all but begging to see her mother since everything hit the fan, she was hurt and very emotional that Eddie hadn't wanted to see anyone.

Joey and Lila were both waiting for the doctors to be finished with Eddie. Jamie was sitting on the bench, head down in his hands. Joey had been at the house almost nonstop nursing Jamie through the forced separation. Jamie's physical capability had a lot to do with his moods. Since Eddie had shut him out of her room and her heart, Jamie had been barely able to get himself up and ready or the day.

"Go talk to him," Joey pushed. "He's eating himself alive over this, Lila. You keeping him from seeing his grandchildren when he was already hurting inside, that was pretty low."

"I wasn't keeping them from him, Dad came over and I just said I wanted him to sit down when he held the twins because he was feeling so shaky," Lila explained. "When he wanted to walk around with Finn when he got fussy, I said no and Dad got mad and left."

Joey sighed, "This family is going to Hell in a hand basket."

The door opened and Dr. Brady stepped out. "Jamie..." He greeted Joey and Lila with a nod.

"How is she? Will she see me today?" Jamie asked hopeful.

"Yes, Eddie will see you," the doctor replied. "She's doing well today, the swelling is down and her vitals are stable. Eddie hasn't been eating very much the last few days but I think it's more emotional. She'd like to see the children first then you can help her get ready to go home, Jamie. I'll have her paperwork in an hour."

Jamie looked at Joey and Lila, "I'm so sorry this all got around you. I am terribly sorry…Kitten, I know…"

Lila reached up and hugged Jamie, "I know, Dad. We'll gauge the room for you. Sit down, you look awful."

Eddie didn't look much better. She was still pale and drawn but she smiled when the kids came in. She reached both of her children, "I'm so sorry, I just…there was so much…I'm so sorry."

Both Joey and Lila held their mother tight, "It's all right, Mom," Joey soothed. "We can possibly know what you've been through. We were outside every day, Dad too…he just sat on the bench and hoped you'd let him inside."

Eddie sighed, "Joey you won't understand yet, you aren't married. Lila, you're in the honeymoon stage but all a couple has is trust…that is all a couple has."

"And love," Lila replied. "And you have that with Daddy, Mom. He's hurting so much and I know you are too. Maybe you can talk to each other."

Eddie nodded, "You two head on home, let's have a little dinner tonight just us. I am dying to see my babies, I bet they are walking already."

Lila laughed, "Not quite, but they did grow. How about we order Chinese for dinner?"

Eddie nodded, "I'll go home with Dad and see you there. Please send him in."

Jamie practically ran into the room when Joey and Lila stepped out. "How are you? I can't believe that you didn't let me come in…I missed you so…" Jamie put his arms out to hold Eddie but she sighed and put her hand up.

"We need to talk, Jamie," Eddie said softly. "Sit down…You look a total mess. Have you combed your hair even?"

"My hand has been on the blink," Jamie confessed. "I had to let Joey in on our secret and he's done his best."

Eddie reached out and touched Jamie's cheek, "Don't think for one minute that I have stopped loving you, I never could do that. I love you so much it hurts."

"Then why?" Jamie asked softly. "Why didn't you let me see you? You needed me, we needed each other. You can't doubt that I love you."

"I do," Eddie replied. "I do doubt you love me, Jamie. I doubt that very much. I know you don't really respect me and that's okay…I never was much of an asset to you and now it's much worse."

"Eddie…" Jamie hung his head. "Do not tell me that you aren't coming home with me. Please…"

"I'm coming home with you Jamie," Eddie replied. "I want to talk things out and I want to work things out. I over reacted a lot about you're not being here…"

"No, Eddie, I promised you and I broke my promise…"

"Let me finish, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "I don't want Erin to go to jail or be implicated in anything she didn't do and I admire you as her brother and as a man for sticking things out and trying to clear her name. You should do that, it's who you are and it's the right thing…I guess I just felt like I was in the backseat again. This time around I was just more scared…this blood thing, it's permanent Jamie. It's something else I have to deal with and…I overreacted about this, but there is just so much wrong with our marriage."

"I don't see it, Eddie," Jamie sighed. "I don't see…I know you want more time together, we will have that, we will…How can I make it up? How can we fix it?"

"I don't know that it's fixable…" Eddie sighed. "We love each other, we really do love each other but…there are things I just don't like about you anymore Jamie. You are so secretive…I saw Meyers the other day, she told me about her replacement…You never told me that you selected a replacement that was young and blonde and beautiful. Why?"

"Because of this," Jamie replied. "Because you make things…You get so upset and it's just been since the kidney thing…Before you had some weight problems and it never messed with your head like this. The problems are coming from inside you, things you see and hear aren't what is real, honey. But I'll wait out, we'll work it out but we can't if you…"

"Separate rooms," Eddie said quickly. "When we go home I'd like you to move into Joey's room for a bit. I need some time to think, to get my head back on straight. I know how much you need me, Jamie and I said for better or worse and I meant it. The lie hurts, even if I understand why. I just need…"

Jamie nodded, "Room to breathe…I understand. How about for now…I get you dressed and we go home. Lila is bringing the twins over and Dad's been beside himself. He's had a lot more trouble without you at home, Eddie. I need you, we all need you."

"Need me?" Eddie asked. "Or need what I can do for you. Jamie you have all you need, Joey took good care of you, you have your family…"

"You are my family," Jamie insisted. "And because I love you so much I will give you all the space and all the time in the world…I love you and nothing will ever change that!"

Eddie nodded and pushed the covers aside. Jamie was taken back by the discoloration in her legs and feet and the retained fluid there. "The IVs," Eddie explained. "My kidneys just aren't cooperating with me, Dr. Gupta increased some of the medications for now, he thinks it was the hospitalization that threw things off."

Jamie sighed, "Do you need help getting up and dressed? I can do it or send Lila in…"

Eddie desperately wanted Jamie to help her but her wounded pride didn't allow. "I can do it."

Jamie nodded and sat on the bed, "I can't do things without you, Eddie," Jamie confessed. "I have a hard time getting dressed. When you are home and we talk in the morning, even if you are lying down resting…"

Eddie sighed. "Well, when it's time for you to dress you can come into the bedroom and talk to me and I'll help you. Try to give me just a little bit of time, please."

Jamie watched as Eddie dressed having to keep on the hospital issue socks, her shoes were too tight. "I'll get the car so you don't have to walk too far. When is your follow up with Dr. Gupta?"

"Next week, I'll handle it myself, you have more important things to do."

Jamie let it go and went to get the car. He helped Eddie into and reached for her hand. "Am I allowed to hold your hand or is that forbidden too? I said I was sorry for leaving you alone, countless times. I meant it, I am so sorry, I didn't know it would be so hard. That poor girl…"

Eddie nodded, "Maybe…Maybe Joe should have a crack at it. He's inherited your ability to deal well with young victims."

Jamie nodded, "I haven't been back to question her since that day. Believe it or not…"

Eddie reached over and took Jamie's hand, "I know. You've been outside my room for three days. I don't know what's wrong right now Jamie, I just know I need time and I hope you can give it to me."

Jamie lifted Eddie's hand, "I can do that, but for Dad's sake…he's been bad since you've been sick. Several exacerbations and his legs are getting swelled up like yours. Please put on a good face for him?"

Eddie quickly agreed to keep their troubles inside their own nuclear family.

Jamie helped Eddie into the house. She let him help her but didn't cuddle into him like she usually did. As soon as Eddie walked in the house she found herself enveloped in Frank's arms. "Oh my sweetheart," he whispered. "I'm so sorry I couldn't get to see you, I wanted to come…"

Eddie softly rubbed Frank's back, "I know you did, Dad. I heard you've been having a really rough time too. How about you sit down in your chair, we'll get you some nice tea and put your vest on."

Frank sighed, "I was just so worried about you." He moved back to his easy chair and began a coughing fit. Eddie looked over at Jamie and went to comfort her father-in-law while Jamie prepared a breathing treatment.

While Frank breathed in his mist, Lila arrived with the twins. "Look babies," she cooed. "There's Nanny…let's go see Nanny…"

Lila handed Reagan to Eddie, "I think they missed you…"

Eddie laughed, "Oh they can't miss anyone yet but you at his age, honey," Eddie sighed. "But I missed them. Look how big they got…" Eddie snuggled Reagan and tickled Finn's tiny foot placing her own feet on two pillows to rest.

"We ordered Chinese and Molly is coming over to talk a little about the wedding."

"Lila, don't you think it's a little too soon for Mom to be worrying about that," Jamie spoke up. It was hard for him to just take a backseat because Eddie was angry. He still loved his wife more than anything and he was going to see to her health whether she liked it or not.

Eddie begged off a few hours later after snuggling babies and talking to her soon to be daughter in law. "Let me help," Jamie said quickly reaching for Eddie's arm.

"I've got it Jamie," Eddie replied.

"Please, you're just out of the hospital, let me help."

Eddie let Jamie follow her up to bedroom. She undressed and sighed looking at her legs. "Do you need me to help you with your shirt?"

Jamie nodded, "My hand it's really been bad…"

Eddie helped Jamie undress, but it was clear it was out of duty not love. Jamie helped Eddie elevate her legs and get her arm propped. "Well uh…I guess I'll go to Joey's room and you get your rest…" Jamie never felt so awkward or so hurt.

"Goodnight, Jamie," Eddie said softly. "If you have trouble with your pills just bring the bottles…"

"I'll be fine Eddie," Jamie said his voice now a little cold. "I'll see you in the morning."

Jamie turned and shut off the light.

A/N: This are still rough in the home of Jamison Reagan, what will it take to bring the marriage back on track or has Eddie finally had enough of being second to Erin?

Next Update – August 11 – The family gathers for dinner.