Well, here's an important chapter...Thanks for keeping up with it and for such great reviews/messages. I am so appreciative! :)
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Lauren floated into work on cloud nine. In her mind, the date couldn't have been more perfect. Her thoughts were lost in visions of the stunning Bo Dennis and the incredible evening she just experienced. The only thing bad was that it had to end, and unfortunately, so did her happy thoughts. No sooner did she change into her scrubs at the hospital than her night became extremely busy with a very chaotic emergency room. Each injury required her complete attention as she worked diligently to help the wounded. A rather large accident on the freeway had brought in a handful of injured teenagers. Not more than twenty minutes afterwards, a gang related scuffle had her scrambling to save a man stabbed several times over. She felt the city was out to get her that night, but her only focus was saving as many lives as she could.
The first moment Lauren glanced at a clock was at seven am. Her shift was almost over and she felt a wave of relief wash over her. She said a silent thank you to the universe for keeping all her patients alive that night. A first shift doctor had already arrived, leaving Lauren off the rotation for any new incoming patients. Lauren pulled her cell phone from her pocket for the first time all night. She scrolled through a few emails and random messages but opted to ignore work related issues. There was only one message she hoped to see, and sure enough, it was there.
Bo: Thank you for an amazing date! Hope your night work is great!
The timestamp indicated Bo sent it shortly after her work shift had started. The flutter returned, leaving Lauren to blush privately in her office. Lauren read over the message a dozen times before crafting her reply.
Lauren: Sorry for the delay in my reply. Hope your night was slower than mine. Thx again for a wonderful night out.
Lauren received an instant reply.
Bo: Hi! Was just thinking about you. Breakfast?
Lauren was hungry. The rush of injuries allowed her no time to even sneak a quick snack. With back to back patients for the entire night, Lauren barely had time to stop at the water fountain for a drink. Breakfast sounded delightful. Was Bo asking her out to breakfast?
Lauren: Starving.
Bo: Pancake House 2 blocks from your ER on Wilson. Join me?
Lauren had no hesitation as her fingers tapped away at the screen.
Lauren: Be there in 10 min.
Bo: Great! See you soon.
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Lauren parked the BMW next to Bo's Mustang in the small corner parking lot. She had to admit: in the light of day, that car was beautiful. The blue looked even brighter under the morning sun and she forced her eyes from glancing at that leather back seat again. The sunshine felt toasty on her skin already at this early hour, signaling another hot summer day in the city. Lauren carefully maneuvered through the tight spaces in between vehicles toward the diner. She glanced to the front windows, catching a glimpse of Bo in a booth smiling back at her. The flutters returned in the pit of Lauren's stomach. She waved nervously before moving to the front door and entering the building.
Ignoring the hustle and bustle of the crowd around her, Lauren slid into the opposing side of the booth and tossed her work bag on the bench next to her. She immediately noticed that Bo had changed out of her uniform and now wore a black firefighter t-shirt with the slogan Silly Boys, Fire Trucks are for Girls gracing the front. The shirt had a snug fit and the sleeves were short, allowing a full upper body view of Bo's athletic build. The smile she wore pulled an even bigger smile from the doctor as Lauren found the entire view incredibly sexy.
"Good morning chief."
"Good morning doctor."
Their flirtatious tone from the night prior returned with those first few spoken words. Bo's eyes looked a little tired but they still sparkled. She looked up and down Lauren's figure and clearly noticed the change in attire as well.
"You look absolutely adorable in those scrubs, Lauren."
Lauren looked down at her clothing and back to Bo. She wore them so often that she didn't think twice about her appearance to others.
"You are always complimenting me, Bo. You better be careful chief, a girl could get used to that."
She raised her brow and curled her smile upward with her last statement. Bo folded her arms across her puffed out chest and flexed her biceps unconsciously as she reveled in hearing that admission.
"Well you should be complimented. Every. Single. Day."
It had been a long time since Lauren heard so many compliments directed at her in a short time span. The statements didn't come across as tawdry and Lauren couldn't picture Bo saying such things to just anyone. The admiration made her feel special, and hearing it come from this beautiful, intelligent woman made it that much more significant.
The server appeared and filled Lauren's coffee mug before topping off Bo's. Without looking at the menu, Lauren ordered her usual standard breakfast fare of scrambled eggs and toast, but since they were at a pancake house, she added a double stack on the side. Bo customized a plate of scrambled egg whites, spinach and avocado with a bowl of fresh berries, clearly defining her healthy eating habits she referenced at dinner the night prior.
The heat from the piping hot cup of coffee trickled down Lauren's throat as she took her first sip. She relaxed comfortably into the booth seat as this was the first relaxing moment she had since leaving Jack's Saloon and sharing in that incredible kiss.
"So how was your night at the station?" Lauren asked, gently setting her mug on the table.
Bo stirred a single packet of artificial sweetener into her coffee.
"Busy. We had a few traffic accidents and a minor electrical fire a few blocks over. Kept the guys hopping all night. How was yours?"
Lauren took another sip of her coffee, hoping the caffeine would kick in quickly.
"Busy as well. Major accident on the freeway sent half-dozen injuries to my ER. Then a gang stabbing. I didn't get a break until I texted you."
Bo finished stirring the sweetened coffee and placed the spoon on a napkin. She propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her knuckles, staring at Lauren and flashing an infatuated smile.
"Awww shucks doctor, it's nice to know you thought of me the first moment you could."
Lauren couldn't deny it. She gave her job one hundred percent focus all night, but the moment she could mentally leave the hospital, her mind went directly to thoughts of Bo.
"Well it's the truth. Busy nights do make the time pass quickly though, but last night was so busy that I didn't even get a chance to check on my Jane Doe as I planned."
Bo formed a curious look on her face. "Jane Doe?"
"Yes. I have a Jane Doe patient. Several nights ago, she was brought in unconscious, badly beaten. She finally regained consciousness but has some amnesia. I'm trying to be extra attentive to this patient with her injuries. I've enlisted some help from a detective friend of mine so hopefully we'll figure out who she is and what happened to her."
"Wow, she was beaten until she was unconscious? My God, that's horrible."
The server returned and slid their hot plates of food onto the table. Feeling the impact of their hunger, both ladies dug in.
"Yeah, it's heartbreaking really. I don't know if someone just beat her up or if they were actually trying to kill her."
Lauren slathered her pancakes with butter and doused them with syrup.
"So because you don't know who she is means you probably don't know who hurt her, right?"
Lauren nodded. "Correct. But once the police figure it out, I'll be rather firm in my request for them to give him a piece of his own medicine."
Bo's eyes widened and she laughed.
"Wow Lauren, I never knew you had that fierce side to you. It's actually kind of hot."
Lauren laughed and swallowed her mouthful of pancake. The sugary syrup quickly worked its way into her system and combined with the caffeine in her bloodstream to bring the tired doctor back to life.
"I mean it when I say I'm not a violent person, but I have no tolerance for those that beat women. I can't un-see some of the things I've seen, you know? Makes me sick."
Bo gulped her coffee and Lauren saw the sparkle in her eyes get a little brighter. Caffeine must be kicking in for her too.
"I have to agree with you. I hope the police help you figure out who she is. Not that I can probably be any help, but if I can, please let me know. I'm happy to help you. Always."
Lauren heard the sincerity in her tone and it made her heart flutter.
"Thanks Bo."
Bo accepted a coffee refill from the server and devoured the remaining piece of fruit on her plate. She stared intently at Lauren before speaking.
"So Lauren, you're brilliant, you're beautiful, you're funny, and you obviously have a very warm and caring heart. I just have to ask: why hasn't someone scooped you up yet?"
The flattering statement was not lost on Lauren, but the root of it all flooded Lauren's memory with visions of Stephanie and of the love she lost. Lauren was caught off guard by the question but she kept the emotions from rising up in her chest. She was eternally grateful that the pain didn't feel as strong as it had in the past. Yes, past events had played their part in shaping who she had become, and until now, that meant no room to even consider dating anyone. She couldn't stop her tear ducts from producing just enough tears to fill the wells of her eyes, but a steady deep breath held them at bay and they never spilled over. Wanting to offer Bo an honest answer to her question, Lauren chose her words carefully.
"I lost someone I loved three years ago. It has taken me awhile to consider letting anyone else in."
Bo's eyes softened. The flirtatious nature left her voice and was replaced by one of pure compassion and understanding. She reached across the table and covered Lauren's hand with her own.
"Oh Lauren, I'm so sorry."
Lauren smiled, enjoying the warmth of Bo's gentle touch. "It's okay. I still have my moments, but I suppose I always will to some degree."
Trying to lighten the mood, Lauren continued, "So, I guess if women came with warning labels before you asked them out on a date, that would be mine: blonde doctor who may or may not have a memory that makes her cry on a totally, random occasion."
Bo smiled softly at Lauren's attempt to remove that heavy tint in the air. She tightened her hold on Lauren's hand and trailed her thumb back and forth over her soft skin. Lauren stared at their hands, in awe of the comfort from her touch.
"Hey." Just the single word was soft, caring and full of kindness.
Lauren shifted her eyes from their intertwined hands to Bo's eyes as she spoke.
"I would expect you to have those random occasions. Suppressing those memories wouldn't honor what you shared with that person, but remembering her does."
Lauren felt her heart float into her throat. That sentiment echoed what Tamsin said about remembering the good times and remembering that Steph more than existed in Lauren's life. She was her love and acknowledging that conveys the importance Stephanie held in Lauren's life. Previously, Lauren never really looked at it that way, but Bo's words sunk deeply into her mind. She returned the squeeze to Bo's hand, not really sure how to thank her for such understanding and compassion. Staring into Bo's eyes, Lauren felt a building desire for Bo. Beyond the physical attraction, beyond the amazing stories Bo shared at dinner, beyond the way her smile tore at walls Lauren had built for years, Lauren felt a desire long forgotten, and in that moment, that desire felt larger than any looming sadness. She formed a genuine smile and directed it at the beautiful brunette staring back at her.
"You know, you are really amazing, Chief Dennis."
Bo chuckled and shook her head. "Naaah, I'm just me, Lauren."
Bo's dimple beamed across the table.
"Can I get you ladies anything else today?"
Both women shook their heads no towards the server, but Lauren quickly removed her hand from Bo's, reached into her bag and pulled out her credit card, sliding it to the waitress.
"I'll be right back with this," she replied taking the card.
Bo tilted her head and placed her hands on her hips. "Lauren, I didn't invite you to breakfast so you would buy my breakfast."
Lauren gave her a silent look that made Bo accept the offer.
"Aaannndd this is where I should just say thank you. Well thank you."
"You are certainly welcome. Thank you for inviting me."
Lauren filled out the receipt and Bo escorted Lauren to her car outside the restaurant. As they walked, Lauren slipped her hand into Bo's who eagerly accepted the gesture. Lauren amazed at how natural it felt to hold Bo's hand and the electricity that flowed through just a simple touch. They slowed their pace purposely as they neared her car, neither wanting to let go of the moment. Lauren stopped next to her car door and turned to face Bo.
"This is me," Lauren whispered, gesturing to the BMW.
It was Bo who closed the gap between them this time. As Lauren felt Bo's lips grace her own, she felt her walls start crumbling faster and the overwhelming sensation of want overcome her every emotion. Bo teased Lauren's lower lip with her tongue and Lauren welcomed it with her own. Bo's hands gently slid around Lauren's lower back and Lauren lost her breath the moment she felt Bo's breasts pressing into hers. They stood there, saying a temporary goodbye for what felt like eternity. Lauren believed that kissing was an art. Too often, it was rushed or sloppy, but in this moment, she could say with complete certainty that Bo was the most talented artist she had ever kissed. Lauren's hands cradled Bo's face, holding her in the moment and basking in the influx of stimulation sweeping through her body. Bo pulled her lips away, taking slow, deliberate breaths. Lauren opened her eyes, staring deeply into dark brown pools of warm emotions.
"Wow," Lauren mumbled.
"Yeah, wow," Bo whispered. "I could kiss you like that every day."
"Every day," Lauren repeated.
Bo stepped back, trying to regain control of her physical response to Lauren.
"Get some rest doctor. I'm already looking forward to our movie date on Sunday."
"Me too, Bo."
Lauren slid her sunglasses onto her face. She climbed into the car, closed the door and started the engine. Bo stood still, watching her snap the seat belt into place and adjust the rear view mirror. Lauren rolled down the car window, and Bo leaned down to kiss her through the open window one last time before climbing into her own car. The minute Lauren drove out of sight, her heart ached. But for the first time in years, it didn't ache in pain and it didn't ache with sadness. Instead, it ached to see Bo once again, to kiss her, to hold her, to share more stories with her, to drink in the dimple that graced her smile, to breathe in the brunette until she all but seeped inside Lauren's veins and flowed right into her beating heart.
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With the profound feelings coursing through her, Lauren steered the car down a side street and changed her route home. It was a decision made in the moment and soon she found herself sixteen blocks west. Even in her tired state, the adrenaline rush fueled Lauren to remain alert as she pulled into a vacant parking space at her impromptu destination. She pushed back her shoulders and took a deep breath as she exited the car.
"You can do this."
That internal confidence gave her the boost to take her first step, and from there, her feet carried her on the path that she knew by heart. She weaved her way through the front doors and removed her sunglasses from her face, hanging them in the v of her shirt. She walked with conviction so that no one questioned her presence. Although out of place, she was certain wearing her scrubs and having her hospital badge dangling from her waist didn't hurt either.
Lauren navigated her way through the police station, noticing all the desks still sat in the same places as three years prior. She proceeded past some unfamiliar, younger looking detectives as she sought out the major crimes/robbery division. As she bypassed the special victim's unit, Lauren slowed her walk as she neared that old familiar desk once occupied by her girlfriend. The desk had stacks of papers covering the surface and a framed photo of a young family at Christmas. The man who now occupied the space smiled at her as she walked by. She simply returned it with her own tender smile, gulped down any visible evidence of sadness, and continued on.
She spotted the one face she sought: Tamsin. Lauren hadn't visited the station since her best friend had transferred divisions so she was fortunate Tamsin wasn't hard to locate. As if Tamsin could sense Lauren's presence, she pulled her eyes from the paperwork on her desk and glanced across the room. Tamsin jumped up quickly, causing a few nearby detectives to look in her direction. Lauren recognized two of men from years ago, although the one seemed a bit heavier than the last time she saw him. With confidence, she continued walking across the room until she stood in front of Tamsin's desk.
Tamsin had lowered her voice but it was filled with panic.
"Doc? You ok? What's wrong?"
Lauren smiled at the nearby detectives who also recognized her. She nodded her head in their direction as a polite hello.
"Is there somewhere we can talk? In private?" Lauren asked Tamsin quietly.
Tamsin maneuvered around the desk and led Lauren to an empty interrogation room. She closed the door as Lauren walked across the small room. Lauren leaned against the far wall and felt the cold cinder blocks through her scrubs shirt. She rubbed her eyes and scratched her head before dropping her arms to her sides. Tamsin waited quietly next to the table in the room until Lauren unleashed her words. Her voice quivered with each syllable she spoke, holding in an eruption of emotions which were about to spew forth.
"She makes me feel things Tamsin. She makes me feel things I didn't want to feel, and it's terrifying. I just met this woman and already I'm falling for her. I'm falling for Bo Dennis and I need to know that it's okay. I know she's a firefighter, and I know I need to face that, but I need you to tell me that it's okay to fall in love again. I need you to tell me that you are okay with me loving someone other than Steph, and I need to know that she would be okay with it too."
Tamsin's shoulders dropped. She placed her hand over her heart as Lauren all but begged for approval. She couldn't stop the droplets from spilling down her cheeks. She contorted her face to fight against the tears but quickly surrendered to the moment. Tamsin lost the ability to reign in her emotions as she sobbed while walking to Lauren and pulled her into her arms. They hugged and they cried and they held each other with strong arms and scarred hearts. They cried for their Stephanie: a woman Lauren fell madly in love with and a woman Tamsin loved like a sister. They cried for the good memories and the bad. They cried for a life lost too soon and the devastation it wrecked on Lauren and Tamsin's hearts. They cried for the celebration of the time they spent with her and the incredible change she had created in both of their lives. The emotions flooded the room as the dam had finally broken. Three years of pent up feelings minimally expressed but in solitude, and now the two best friends finally accepted the support offered by the other. And as they slowed their tears and regained their breaths minute by minute, second by second, they shared this quiet connection as a monumental moment in their own healing process. They loved each other like family, and releasing years of built up emotions in the privacy of this small interrogation room felt like a rebirth.
"You will always have my blessing, doc and I know you have hers."
With those softly spoken words, the air filled Lauren's lungs with a freshness she hadn't felt in years.
"Thank you. Thank you Tamsin."
Their embrace both provided and accepted support. Lauren wiped at Tamsin's smudged eyeliner, only smearing it more. She laughed lightly before drying her own eyes with her scrub shirt. They teased each other lovingly about whose eyes were puffier and decided it was a tie. Tamsin paced the room to compose herself and Lauren actually sat down in one of the cold metal chairs to regain some strength. Their current disheveled appearances warranted attention before returning to the public eye. Once they regained full composure, Tamsin led Lauren to the ladies restroom to attempt a removal of all signs of their sentimental moment. Lauren splashed cold water on her face and regrouped, feeling more exhausted physically but stronger inside. Tamsin dabbed away the remnants of smeared makeup with a wet paper towel. Upon close inspection, both deemed the other's appearance acceptable and together, they exited the restroom to return to their respective days with a refreshed outlook on life.