Hello guys, omg it has been too long! My goal is to finish this story, so now I'm back and at it again. I probably lost most of my readers, but if I have any of you guys still out there, just review and I'll give you all a special mention in my next chapter.

Well, I'm working part time at Kroger in the bakery/deli, dropped out of college, and I'm hoping to go back this January or February. How about you all, what have you guys been up to?

Black

Chapter ten: Then, I'm going to punch him

I looked in disgust at my bruised reflection I the bathroom mirror, what the hell happened to me? Traitor tears fell down my cheeks as I reached for my razor and held it at bay on my arm. Am I ever going to find a family that loves me like their own? Am I ever going to fit in? Why does Will despise me so much? But the bigger question is, why does that matter to me? He's a nobody in my life.

I gasped in delight as the cool metal of the blade cut the delicate skin of my forearm, I couldn't help but give my reflection a sick and twisted smile. I am so fucked up in the head. I began laughing quietly to myself before the guilt took over and sobs rocked my body. Crying never came easily to me, which is why I was making loud and ugly sounds. I couldn't get enough air into my lungs, and I kept gasping between sobs.

"Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with you?" A bewildered Adrian stood in the doorway to my bathroom, I could have sworn I locked it. "Thank the lord Jesus they took the locks off your shit." Oh, I guess I didn't.

I started crying heavier. "Don't look at me…" I spat out. I didn't want him to see me like this. I wasn't supposed to be an emotional wreck, in front of people that is.

Adrian kneeled next to me and it made me flinch back. He took the razor from my hand, gasping when he accidentally cut his hand in the process. He stared at all the blood that got all over me, I didn't know I got that messy with the blade. "Now," He started out, sounding very cautious. "Why would you do this to yourself? Cutting isn't healthy!" He wrapped his strong arms around my tiny frame and rocked my while making shushing sounds.

I sniffled and waited a few minutes before I could talk without breaking down. "How come no one loves me?" My voice cracked.

He gave a snort. It made me roll my eyes. "I'm sure a lot of people love you doll."

"No they don't," I began. "My parents, who the hell even knows where they are?" Talking about them made me angry sometimes.

"So?" He stated. "Who cares about them. I don't have parents, I don't care if they love me or not that's for sure. I love Ian, and my friends. That's all I need in life to help me get by."

My random shot of depression was slowly fading away, but I had a feeling that is was going to stay with me through the rest of the day. Adrian grabbed my face with both of his hands and gently shook me. "Don't you ever do this to yourself again, or I'll kill you before you're able to kill yourself." He looked like he was holding back tears. I wasn't trying to kill myself though..

"I cant promise that to you, I cant even promise that to myself. Cutting gives me a rush, and just for a little bit it makes me feel better. It makes my pain drain away slowly but…" I didn't have time to finish my sentence before Adrian rudely cut me off with a series of profanities. He roughly pushed me away and stood up, making my hit my head hard on the wall. He didn't apologize.

"I'm your friend, Thomas is more than a friend to you. Did you ever think that one of us could help you out to cheer you up before you decided to run to your stupid razor? It's a sick habit, and its only going to make you kill yourself." He huffed angrily at me, yanking on his long locks before he turned and stormed out of my bathroom.

Leaving me alone and feeling worse.

WPOV

She looked like shit today.

Ellie was trailing behind Adrian like a little puppy dog looking all lost and confused. Part of me felt good about that, the other part, well, not so much. I was sitting in the lobby of the Los Angeles hotel we all lived in, sipping on my Saturday morning coffee reading the recent local news stories. I was watching her more than I was actually paying attention to my readings.

They walked over to the breakfast bar and Adrian starting filling up his plate with all kinds of breakfast foods, Ellie just kind of stood there awkwardly. I guess she didn't feel like eating much then. I waved them over to sit with me, I have given a lot of thought into what my twin had told me last night. I'm going to be nicer to Elle. I'm still going to be an asshole, because after I heard her and Tom fucking in his bed the other night I'm still not ready to let that go just yet. Elle is what I've taken to calling her in my head. I like it.

The tired looking girl sat down across the table from me with a hard wince, she was quiet and kept her eyes averted to the table. She wore too much makeup, and she looked thinner and more vulnerable in the long sleeved white baggy shirt she was wearing, it looked like it was one of Adrian's shirts it was that big. Wouldn't surprise me if they fucked either. Ellie looked defeated.

"Hey home dog." Adrian greeted me as he sat down, with a sausage hanging out of his mouth.

"What, the plate wasn't big enough to hold all the food you got?" I smirked at him and he laughed around his full mouth.

He gave a curious look toward Ellie. "Here sweetie, I think you should eat something. You haven't eaten since Mc Donalds yesterday." He looked like he was trying so hard to communicate with her.

Too bad that looked like his words pissed her off. "Leave me alone, I told you in the elevator that I wasn't hungry."

"Are you all in an argument or something?" I asked, trying my hardest not to sound rude or offend Ellie. She looked like she was having one of those days, I wanted to cut her some slack until she answered in that smart mouthed tone.

"It's none of your damn business." She said stubbornly. Tears fell from her eyes as she scooted her chair back from the table and quickly made her way outside.

Adrian sighed deeply. "What the hell is wrong with her Georg?" I made sure to say his true name in a whisper.

He rolled his eyes. "Well, lets just say that Ellie didn't get off on the right foot this morning."

"Can you elaborate?" I asked, not wanting to sound nosey.

"Why do you care, you don't even like her." My look of poison must have made him keep talking. "It's just that, it isn't my problem to tell. Ellie is dealing with some traumatic internal shit and I just so happened to walk in on her having one of her episodes. Then we got into an argument when I tried to help her."

"Bitch doesn't want anyones help apparently." I stated, trying to keep the façade of hatred toward her up.

Adrian rolled his eyes at me and gave me a lecture on how I should treat her nicely. Sadly, it wasn't going to happen.

EPOV

I took a drag of the cigarette Thomas offered me out front, it calmed me down a little bit. We were currently sitting in the front seats of his car, he was holding me to his chest. After we were done smoking he rolled his dark tinted windows up. "What's wrong beautiful?" He whispered sweetly into my ear. I shivered in a good way.

I looked deep into his brown eyes. "I don't want to talk about it Tom, it hurts too much for me to speak of at the moment. I just feel lost and confused, and I don't know what to do."

He smirked at me and my problems. I don't like how he wasn't taking me seriously. He started climbing into the back seat. Tom took off his shirt and then started unbuttoning his pants. I scoffed, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Tom held out a waiting hand for me, "All I want to do is make you feel better baby."

I took his hand and climbed into the back seat with him…

I know this chapter isn't as long as I usually write, but I have to get used to writing again, its been too long!

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