Chapter Ten

"What the fuck is goin' on? Where am I?" Ennis looked around tryin' to find out just where he was but his head hurt too much and he couldn't focus.

"It's ok. You're save, don't worry everything will be ok." A female voice said.

"Mama is that you? It can't be; you and daddy died a long time ago." Then it hit him like a ton of bricks.

"I'm dead." Ennis couldn't believe it. There was so much left he wanted to do. He wasn't ready to leave his girls or Jack. They had fought so hard to get to where they were and he wasn't ready to let it all go.

"Yes son it's me, but you're not dead." His mom said in a soothing voice.

"Then what's goin' on?" Ennis was so confused.

"Right now you are still alive, but your spirit is caught between earth and the after life."

"So why are you here? To take me with you?"

"No son, I'm here to help you find your way back. It's not your time yet."

It was 7 the next morning and Jack woke with his head on Ennis' chest.

"Good mornin' Ennis. I'm gonna go and get me a coffee I'll be right back." Jack leaned over and gave Ennis a kiss before he left.

The girls arrived at the hospital early and met Jack.

"How is he?" Junior asked.

"He's still the same honey." Jack said as he gave her a hug then Jenny.

"Can we go and see him?" Jenny asked.

"Sure you can." Jack said as they headed back to Ennis.

This time the girls each went in on there own and Jenny went first.

"Daddy, I hope you can hear me. I know I've not always been the perfect daughter. I know that I blamed you for what happened between you and mama and I blamed you for not being there for me. I'm sorry; I never meant any of it. I know now ya did the best ya could and I'm sorry that I pulled away and hurt you. I wish I could take it all back but I can't so you have to wake up so we can make a new start. We've been gettin' closer lately and I want to keep gettin' closer. So please daddy wake up." Jenny pleaded as she started to cry. She leaned over and gave him a kiss and hugged him.

"Jenny it's ok honey, I know you never meant it. Please don't cry little darlin' it's ok." Ennis wished she could hear him and he wished he could see her.

"She's beautiful."

"Tell me how do I get back to her to everyone I love?" Ennis was getting' frustrated. He hated not being in control.

"You will find the answers all in good time my son."

"What answers? What I am I suppose to be lookin' for?"

Jenny wiped her tears and left the room. Junior could see that she had been cryin' but she knew that Jenny also needed this time to be alone.

"Hi daddy it's me Junior. I know you can hear me so please wake up and come back to us. I need you and so does Jenny and Jack. I know us girls are grown but we still need you. Daddy please you can't die. I don't know what I'd do without you." Junior tried to hold back the tears because she knew her daddy would want her to be strong so before they started to fall she left.

"Junior I love you girls too, don't worry I'm comin' back."

Jack didn't want to leave Ennis' side so he asked Bobby if he could take care of the ranch for a little bit and he said sure. Kurt also took time off work so he could help out.

Another day passed and another and still no change. Jack was losing weight and not gettin' much sleep. He spent every moment he could at the hospital.

3 weeks had now passed and still no change. Jack knew he had to get some work done on the ranch. They worked way too hard to lose it now. So the girls would take turns stayin' with Ennis until Jack was done and could get to the hospital. Ennis was never alone because if one of the girls couldn't make it Mrs. Twist would go. Alma had even gone a few times.

Jack took his usual seat beside Ennis and held his hand like he always did.

"Ennis, do you remember when we first me? You thought that I was some fucked up rodeo and I thought ya where this tight ass cowboy who never spoke and didn't know how to have fun. Well I remember that night in the tent, do you? I'll never forget the way you took me fast and furious. It was just raw passion somethin' I never knew until I met ya. I remember how we tried to hide our feelin's and how we said it was no one's business but ours, and how we weren't queer. We had a good time that summer and all to soon it was gone. I don't know if you ever knew this but, it killed me that day to drive away from you. I never wanted ta say goodbye but I didn't know how to make you stay so I left you and my heart there. I'm sorry it took me 4 years later to find ya but I wasn't sure if you felt the same way. I lost many nights of sleep back then 'cause every fuckin' time I closed my eyes there you were. Hell I knew ya felt somethin' I just wasn't sure if it was still there. Those were long and painful times but ya know why I kept comin back ta ya? 'Cause no matter how hard I tried I couldn't quit you and I'm glad I never gave up 'cause look where we are now, together with a ranch of our own. So you can't give up now."

"I'm not givin' up Jack. I know we've been through a lot and most of it's my fault I never should have put us through all that shit. I'm so sorry I shouldn't have been scared of what others would think when the only thing that matters is what you think. Back then I couldn't put a name to what I felt but I can now, it was love. Jack you're the only person I truly love or ever will love."

"It's time son."

"You said it wasn't time for me." Ennis yelled tears rolling down his face.

"Not time to come with me, time to return to your loved ones."

"But you said I'd find the answers, I don't think I have." Ennis was confused what was he suppose to learn from all of this.

"Oh but you did my son. You learned from your mistakes in the past. You just said yourself that you never should have cared what others thought. You realized that you always did love Jack. Here's your chance, go back and live your life to the fullest and above all don't be afraid to love."

"Thank you." There was a bright light and the next thing Ennis knew he was looking at Jack.

"Jack." Ennis said in a low voice as he opened his eyes a tiny bit.

"Ennis you're awake, thank God you came back to me. Don't move I'll be right back." Jack ran to the nurse's station.

"Get Doctor Jackson now, he's awake."

The doctor was there within minutes and went to examine Ennis. When he finished he met Jack and the girls in the waiting room.

"Well is everythin' ok?" Jack asked.

"Everything is just fine. There appears to be no damage."

"Thank God. Can we see him?" Junior asked.

"Yes you can, but not for too long, he's still weak and he needs his rest."

Each of the girls ran in just to say hi and see for them selves that he was ok.

Jack went back to be by his side.

"Hey you gave us a pretty good scare there cowboy. How do you feel?" Jack was crying now but they were happy tears.

"I'm ok except for this poundin' in my head. Thanks Jack for not given up on me. I just want ya ta know I heard every word ya said ta me." Ennis said as he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

"Thank you for listenin' ta me God. I owe ya one."