Summary: What happened with Chuck and Jill? What will be the fallout? Will the team bring down Fulcrum? All this and more in B&J vs C&S chapter 10: Oh the Guilt
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. After chapter 9, there are quite a few people who are quite glad that I don't.
A/N: Alright shippers, step back from the ledge. There is a method to my madness. Just bare with me for right now. Just to give forewarning, all the issues will NOT be worked out in this chapter. I understand that you're upset with what I did with Chuck. I just have to ask you to trust me. It will all be awesome in the end. Now that I have the sucking up completed, let me just say thank you to everyone that took time to read and review chapter 9. I enjoyed every piece of feedback I got as always, but to be honest, some of my favorite reviews were the negative one's. I like that you guys let me know what you think. It really helps with what I plan to do with the story. I would like to keep an audience after all. Now this is not going to turn into a big, candy sweet fluff fest (not yet anyway), but you guys kind of let me know where the line needs to be drawn. I only ask that those who were disgruntled with how I last left the characters give me a chance to redeem myself. On the whole, I have been very happy and excited by the response this story has generated. I hope I can continue to keep you guys entertained. So now...I'm turning off my verbal diarrhea so that you can (hopefully) enjoy Bryce and Jill vs Chuck and Sarah chapter 10: Oh the Guilt.
Chuck and Sarah's Apartment
Chuck Bartowski felt guilty. It was not an emotion he was particularly fond of. His guilt was keeping him awake, and he knew if he didn't soon find sleep, he would be in for a very long day tomorrow. If Sarah had just listened to him, he could have gotten everything off of his chest. Of course then he'd be lying on the sofa not sleeping, but at least his heavy conscience wouldn't be the cause of his insomnia.
Chuck thought back on how everything could have gone so wrong.
Castle Base, Below the Orange Orange, the Previous Night
Who wouldn't love you? Those words were ringing in his ears as he continued to stare into Jill's deep brown orbs. Does she mean? No, she's in love with Bryce. She said so herself. But there's something there in her eyes. Wait, what are you doing Chuck? This is a bad idea!
His conscience screamed at him to stop. He wasn't listening. Chuck and Jill slowly leaned towards one another, closing their eyes.
Jill and Chuck were mere millimeters from one another now. Each felt the familiar sensation of the other's breathe hot on their lips. Just as they were closing the final gap, they heard a voice interrupt.
"Roberts, Bartowski, be heads up. We're on the move."
John Casey's proclamation had broken the near moment. A moment of foolishness, Chuck thought to himself. Refocusing on the screens in front of them, neither Jill nor Chuck could bare to look at the other, let alone continue their earlier dialogue.
Outside at the cabana, the team was able to capture seventeen of the targets identified at the function earlier in the evening. Two council members, including Ken Adams, two high level Fulcrum officers, and the financial advisor that had spoken earlier remained at large. All five of the remaining targets were at the party, but currently in no position to be taken down.
It was of little consequence. With the rooming information, they would be able to find and capture every one of them later that night.
Jill and Chuck watched on the monitors as Bryce and Sarah entered the hotel. Fulcrum had put blockers up outside the hotel, so all visual was lost. Casey assured the two back at base that it was expected. His onsite team was working to gain control of the hotel's security cameras at the time being. Finally the silence inside Castle was broken. "So what do you think they're doing in that room?" Jill had a concerned tone to her voice. Or maybe it was guilt Jill felt. Chuck couldn't decide.
"Whatever they're doing, I'm guessing it is not nearly as much as you and I were almost doing. You know why? Do you Jill? Because I'm a bad person. That's why. Sarah's off on a mission, trying to take down Fulcrum, and here I am ready to play tonsil hockey with my ex-girlfriend. God I can't believe I'm such an idiot. I-"
"Tonsil hockey, Chuck?" Jill hadn't heard that phrase in many years.
"Well whatever you want to call it Jill. It doesn't change the fact that if Casey hadn't interrupted, I would have kissed you. And you know what? That's not who I am! That's not who I'm supposed to be! I…" this time Chuck cut himself off. "This is what I've become?"
"No Chuck." Jill's voice was soft and sad. "This is not who you've become. It is a part of who you're pretending to be. Look, I don't know what happened to make you want this life. I don't know mostly because you won't tell me. But whatever it was, you're not this life Chuck. You're so much more than that. That's why I always loved you. That is who Sarah fell in love with. If you're not happy with whom you've become, then maybe you should spend some time looking for the real Chuck Bartowski." With her statement finished, Jill turned sharply back around in her chair to face the monitor in front of her.
Chuck didn't say anything, but deep down inside, he knew Jill was exactly right. Ever since the 'incident' Chuck had made it his one goal in life to take down Fulcrum. He had intentionally re-Intersected himself. He had demanded field training. When he found he wasn't any good at the really tough parts of being an agent, he had made a decision to change who he was. He'd thought about what made Casey and Sarah so good at their jobs. He'd done everything to try to emulate them. He'd even tried to act like a gun enthusiast to be more like Casey.
You may very well take down Fulcrum like this Chuck. But is the price of your soul worth it? Who will want anything to do with you when you have sacrificed the very essence of yourself?
He had a lot to think on. Despite his guilt over what had almost happened between Jill and him, he owed her a great deal of gratitude. She'd made him look in the mirror for the first time in many months. Now he needed to figure out how to recognize the man that stared back from the reflection again.
Outside the Four Seasons, 3:00 AM
The mission had been an overwhelming success. The team had been able to take down twenty-one of the twenty-two targets that had been identified. The only person to escape had been the now constant thorn in the side of the Fulcrum hunters, Ken Adams. After searching the area for over an hour and a half, the agents decided to call off the search for now. With the resources they had captured, they would be able to gain a wealth of knowledge about where such persons as Adams may be hiding.
In the van on the way back to Castle, Sarah convinced Casey that she deserved a night in her own bed, with her boyfriend. Since he hadn't had to stay with Bryce and Jill yet, and since he was eager to breakdown what might have happened on the footage from Castle that night, Casey agreed.
Chuck and Sarah's Apartment
Chuck had decided on the ride home that he would tell Sarah what had almost happened. He would leave out the part where Casey's interruption was the only thing that had stopped it from happening. It's not like it mattered. Just the thought of doing it -of kissing Jill, he amended- was bad enough in his eyes. He only hoped she would forgive him.
When they walked in the door, Sarah immediately stripped off the dress she was wearing and headed towards the bedroom. Chuck followed her at a distance. When he got to their room, Sarah had already climbed under the covers and was looking up at the door.
"Are you coming to bed?"
"What you don't want to shower, or put on some clothes or something." Chuck was very uncomfortable with his girlfriend's state of undress given what he wanted to discuss. Getting your ass kicked by your girlfriend was bad enough. Getting your ass kicked by your practically naked girlfriend would be something that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
"Chuck, I've had a long night. I'm tired; I'm cranky; and I just want to go to sleep. You and I end up sleeping sans clothes nearly every night anyway. Why should it really matter if I wear anything to bed?"
"It's just…" Chuck paused not wanting to say too much too fast. "I just wanted to talk to you about something."
"Did you not hear the tired and cranky part?" Sarah was growing very exasperated with his reluctance to just come to bed.
"It's important though Sarah!"
"Chuck! Whatever it is, I am sure that it can wait until the morning! Now come to bed, sweetie!" Sarah tried her best to not sound threatening (at least with the last part of her statement) but given her state of unrest, and her boyfriend's wasting of this one night of alone time she had wrangled from Casey, it was difficult to say the least. She decided to give up trying to sound nice. "Now you will come to bed RIGHT NOW Charles Irving Bartowski; and you will hold me and let me sleep. You got that?" This was a threatening tone that Sarah rarely used with her boyfriend save the times he decided that lifting the seat to pee was too much of a burden and she got a unpleasant surprise upon her next trip to the bathroom.
"Yes ma'am," Chuck supplied grimly.
So here Chuck was. Sarah was in his arms, sleeping like an angel. A really deadly, sometimes scary angel, but an angel. But Chuck couldn't sleep. The longer he lay holding this beautiful woman like there was nothing wrong, the more he ached with guilt.
Finally despite his burdened conscience, Chuck drifted off to sleep. Luckily his exhaustion masked his sins to him as he slept peacefully. He slept peacefully that is until…
Chuck startled awake. Ice cold water? What the hell? He looked up to see Sarah facing the bed with a dangerous look on her face and a now empty bucket in her hand.
"You mind explaining this, jackass?"
30 Minutes Earlier
Sarah woke up in her favorite place in the world: in Chuck's arms. She rolled over slightly and kissed her boyfriend on the forehead. It would have suited her to lie there all day, but she still felt quite grimy from last night's mission and really needed a shower. Gently extracting herself from his embrace so as not to disturb his slumber, Sarah slipped out of bed and put on a t-shirt to fight off the early morning chill. Before she made her way to the bathroom, she picked up her iPhone and noticed one new e-mail.
Curious as to who had contacted her during the night, Sarah opened the message. Huh, what would Casey want? The e-mail had an attached video, and was described simply "You must see this!" The file quickly loaded and was ready to play. Thank God for 3G connection, she thought to herself. When the video played, however, any thoughts to her cellular signal diminished. They were all replaced by rage.
Castle Base, Below the Orange Orange, 4:30 AM
Come on Bartowski, give me something. Brush up against her. Or how about just some audio I can splice together to sound inappropriate. Casey couldn't believe just how boring these two had been throughout their time in Castle.
He was just about to give up his search for something interesting when Chuck and Jill started discussing their "lady feelings." There's got to be something good enough in here I can make sound bad. As luck would have it, he didn't even need to do much editing. "Who wouldn't love you," Jill's likeness said. Then the two former lovers gazed into one another's eyes. They leaned in. Thank you Bartowski. I didn't even have to work for this one moron. Then Casey heard his own voice break Jill and Chuck apart. Dammit! I screwed myself. Casey thought on his misfortune for a moment before a positive thought came to mind. Well, no matter. This will be ample evidence to rile Walker all up. This will be interesting. After cleaning the video and sound up, and adding some special "John Casey touches" to the file, he sent the video to Sarah in an e-mail. Well, it was nice knowing you Bartowski.
Chuck and Sarah's Bedroom
"You mind explaining this, jackass?" Sarah's voice was filled with rage. Her eyes had taken on a wild expression that Chuck had only seen her show in the heat of combat. More specifically it was the look she reserved for taking a kill shot. Sarah had her most predatory look cast on Chuck for the very first time.
"Sarah I-I don't know-"
"This!" she cut him off. Sarah turned the monitor to Chuck's desktop –to which she had uploaded the video- towards him. She hit play, and Chuck's stomach dropped.
He had completely planned on telling her. She didn't need to find out like this.
"Who wouldn't love you?" the onscreen Jill said. Then Chuck watched as they gazed at one another, and began leaning in. Just before Casey's voice would have broken them apart, the video went still. The words "To See the Rest, Be at Castle as 0900" had been dubbed on top of the now frozen image.
"How COULD you?! I trusted you! You're the only one I've ever trusted! And you do this?" Sarah stormed from the room, tears beginning to stream down her face.
Sarah quickly grabbed some clothes she'd left in the living room. Slipping on the thrown together outfit, she continued out of the apartment to her Porsche. She cranked the car up, and promptly sped out of the parking lot. She didn't know where she was going. She only knew that she couldn't stand to look at him right now.
Back inside the apartment, Chuck heard the unmistakable sound of squealing tires as Sarah peeled out of the parking lot. Dammit. I rode here with her. Casey's already at Castle. I'm stuck. Although this would have ordinarily only been a small problem, it just seemed to be fuel on the fire that was Chuck's horrible day.
He picked up his phone, and tried to call his girlfriend. The call went straight to voicemail. "Hey, Sarah…look, I tried to tell you last night. It's not what it really looks like. Okay, honestly, it almost was what it looked like. I don't know what to say. I know it was a mistake. I'm so, so sorry. Please call me and let's talk about this. I'm so sorry Sarah. I never…just call me, okay?" He knew he sounded pathetic in the message. He really didn't care about that. Chuck would do anything to make Sarah forgive him.
I can't believe I screwed this up. Why does everyone I love end up getting hurt because of me?
A/N: Where would Sarah go? Will Chuck get to explain himself? Is Casey happy with himself (I'm guessing yes)? How will Bryce react to what (almost) happened? All these questions will be adressed. In the next chapter you say? We'll see. I like to spread it around. And there was no Ellie in this chapter, I know, but her storyline will be moving along a little later. You may also notice that this chapter had far less Bryce and Jill than really any chapter so far, as best my memory serves me. That won't become a habbit. This story is still driven by them. I really wanted to start to work on the Charah angst here though.
Anyway, thanks for reading everybody. I hope you're siill with me. If you could take a few moments and give me a quick review, I would be ever so appreciative. They really let me know what I need to do with the story moving forward. I have pulled tons of ideas from the reviews I have been sent. Anyway, as always, you guys are the best. Peace.