Author's Notes: I still do not own Doctor Who. I'm not sure why not. Furthermore, I am out of interesting ways to say that. Anyway, thanks for the reads, reviews, follows and favorites, I really appreciate it. Let me know what you think of this one and happy reading!

Donna followed the Doctor into the wardrobe where, miracle of miracles, he had found a fez.

"It's perfect!," he said, placing it upon his head.

"Right," said Donna, rocking Chloe, who had finally managed to fall asleep.

"Are you sure you're not tired?," asked the Doctor.

Donna shook her head. "No. Why would I be?"

"You were ill. At death's door. In my experience, humans generally need a bit of rest after that."

Donna shrugged. "I feel fine. I'm just glad to be home."

"Hmm," said the Doctor, rustling through the rest of the wardrobe. "You recognized me as the Doctor. You thought your husband had regenerated."

"I had just seen your face once before. Well, his face. His future face."

"Really? How?"

"Well, someone used the Eye of Harmony to pull me around and I met most of the Doctors."

"Really? Who did that?"

Donna swallowed. "The Oracle."

The Doctor turned and looked at her. "Oh."

"Yeah," said Donna.

"So, you must have met her as well?"

"Yes," said Donna. She shook her head. "It was awful. She knew what was coming. How it was all going to end."

The Doctor nodded. "That can't have been easy for her. Still, she always has been made of stern stuff. At least mine has, she's always been the tough one."

"How did you two meet?," asked Donna.

"The Oracle? We met in hospital."

"In hospital?," asked Donna.

"When we were born. Same minute. Grew up together. We were a trio with Koschei."

"Koschei?," asked Donna.

"Yes, your husband probably called him by his chosen name, the Master."

Donna drew in a breath.

"I take it he has."

"Yeah," said Donna, "not really someone I would put down as a friend."

"He was always a handful. I always had to keep him from brainwashing one planet or the other," the Doctor sighed as he continued to rummage through the wardrobe.

"Yeah, he had to keep him from turning humans into tiny Death Stars," said Donna.

"Tiny Death Stars?"

"Yeah, that only works if you've seen Star Wars." She paused. "Enough about him. How did you marry the Oracle?"

The Doctor smiled. "Why is that so important to you?"

"Why do you think?"

"YOu know, my experiences aren't necessarily his."

"Well, let's find out."

"When we turned eight, we went off to the Academy together. We went to school, we grew up and then we had differing interests. I wanted to see the universe, but she wanted to take one of those smart posts on Gallifrey. In the end, I stayed. We got married, had a nice old life."

"Then what?"

"Then I kidnapped her."

"You what?"

"I knew she would have fun travelling, the trouble was getting her there. She got into the spirit of the thing soon enough."

"So, she's travelled with you," said Donna.

"Like you." He came across something. "Ah ha! This will do wonderfully!"

Donna looked at the tuxedo complete with tails. "You do know that you're trying to keep your daughter from getting married."

"That's no reason not to dress for the occasion." He paused. "You're sure you feel fine?"

Donna shrugged. "What's the obsession with how I'm feeling?"

"Nothing," said the Doctor. "Nothing."

"No way," said Lydia. "Absolutely no way."

The Doctor, River and Lydia were currently in her suite staring at the biggest wedding dress that any of them had ever seen. The skirt was made of yards of ruffled silk. Its circumference had to be at least five feet. The tiara was a foot high and encrusted with so many jewels it was blinding, to match the equally blinding jewels on the dress.

"It's massive," said the Doctor. "I wonder if it has its own field of gravity."

"No," said the dressmaker. "It does have its own energy supply to keep it up, though."

"How much does it weigh?," asked River.

The Doctor looked at the dressmaker. "How did you get this ready so quickly?"

"We prepared it for the prince's last fiancee."

"His last fiancee?," asked Lydia.

"What happened to her?," asked River.

"Drowned in her tub. Poor thing."

Lydia looked at the Doctor incredulously.

"Betone said to tell you the wedding will begin in one hour," the dressmaker announced before she left.

"I can't marry him!," said Lydia.

"No, you're not going to, I promise," said the Doctor.

"And what about the other four suspiciously dead brides?," asked River.

"We're not going to be here long enough for Lydia to die," said the Doctor.

"Oh, great plan," said River.

"I'll thank you to stop the sarcasm," said the Doctor.

"What if someone tries to drown me?," asked Lydia.

"Well, you can swim," said the Doctor.

"No!," said Lydia. "No! I can't swim! I hate the water!"

"Didn't your parents get you lessons?," asked the Doctor.

River rolled her eyes. "I think we should start preparing for the possibility that the other Doctor doesn't get here on time and we have to go through with the ceremony."

"No," said Lydia, sitting down. "Absolutely not."

"Lydia, we just have to play this through. We'll go down there and I'll say they have violated some other Gallifreyan tradition."

"Like the tradition that the father of the bride is usually a complete dunce?," asked River.

The Doctor glared at her. "The Oracle's still not here. They've compared our DNA to confirm our genetic linkage, but I"ve already explained that the mother of the bride has to give permission. We'll get down there and I'll throw a fit because she's still not here. The ceremony gets delayed. They're going to turn up eventually."

"Nice word 'eventually'," said River.

Donna and the Doctor walked out into the console room. Pete's World Donna was at the console. "Oh, here they are now," she said.

She held the phone out to Donna. "It's your mother."

Donna shifted Chloe to one arm and took the phone. "Hi, Mum."

"Your alternate husband or whoever he is left an alien in my sitting room!"

Donna looked at the Doctor. "Did you leave an alien in my mum's sitting room?"

"Oh, I knew I was forgetting something," he said. "Tell your mum he's probably vegan."

"Sorry, Mum," said Donna. "Just try to keep him out of sight."

"Oh, too late for that!," said Sylvia. "Your grandfather's already taken him up the hill and who knows where else!"

"Well, Mum, we're a bit busy at the moment, we still have to rescue the Doctor and Lydia,"

"Who's Lydia?"

"She's the Doctor's daughter. Well, the alternate Doctor's daughter."

"Well, you never mentioned her. Like you never mentioned my granddaughter."

Donna cringed. "I'm sorry, Mum. There's been a lot going on."

"Oh, I see, I'm not important?"

"Did I say that?"

"What was so important that you didn't telephone your mother to tell her she had a new grandchild after you promised she could be present at the birth since your husband and his friends pretty much controlled everything the first time?"

Donna was fuming. Her brain was about to blow up at the time, but she decided not to go down that line of thought. "If you must know, I had to give birth in a space cave, then I got dragged to the eighteenth century where the Doctor's ex-girlfriend tried to kidnap Zara and then she killed Mister Darcy! Did I also mention that she had already taken two other children that I've had to care for? Then I was trapped in pre-revolutionary France and almost died of God knows what! Sorry! It was only another hundred and fifty years until the invention of the telephone!"

There was a long pause on the other end. "Well, you could have rung once you got back."

The Oracle, Amy, Rory and John entered, followed by Mayantha and Mickey.

Donna sighed. "Mum, I'm going to phone you back."

"Oh, still too busy I see."

Donna hung up the phone before answering. She met the knowing eyes of her alternate.

"See, this is just why I bought my mum a zeppelin."

"Zeppelin?," asked Donna. "There's an idea."

"Now, do we have a plan?," said the Oracle. She cast a glance at the Doctor. "Other than dressing up?"

"Go in, rescue the other Doctor, rescue Lydia, get out of there," said the Doctor.

"What are we going to call you two when you get back?," asked Amy. "We still haven't worked out decent nicknames for the Donnas. Pinstripes? Bow ties? Spiky? Floppy?"

"Oh, I do quite like the sound of spiky and floppy," said the Oracle.

"What about Ten and Eleven?," asked Donna.

"Sorry?," asked the Doctor.

"I don't get it," said Rory.

"Well, my husband's the tenth Doctor or whatever, He's the eleventh. Ten. Eleven. Simple. To the point."

"Ten. Eleven. That works," said the Oracle.

"So, all I am to you is a number?," asked the Doctor,

The Oracle rolled her eyes. "You're so dramatic, Eleven."

"Wait, what does that make me?," asked John. "Ten point two? Ten and a half?"

"Handy," suggested Mickey.

"This is spoken by the man who gave us Caprica Donna," said John. "You can't call a sentient being Handy!"

"Why Handy?," asked Rory.

"That's where he came from," said Mickey. "He was a hand in a jar."

Rory shook his head. "What?"

"You can still be John," said the Oracle. "Since you bothered to choose a name."

"I did choose a name," said the Doctor. "The Doctor. You were there as I recall."

"Mayantha, Mickey, you stay here. Um, Donnas, staying or going?," the Oracle asked, ignoring her husband.

Both Donnas looked at each other.

"Someone has to look after the baby," said the resident Donna. "Though one of us really should go to keep them from doing something stupid."

Pete's World's Donna sighed. "Fine. I'll go."

"Excellent," said Eleven. "The Oracle, John, Donna and I will go in. Amy and Rory, you keep watch outside the ceremony."

"Keep watch for what?," asked Amy.

"How should I know?," asked the Doctor.

On Asterica, there was not much progress as to an escape plan. The Doctor, Lydia and River had begun to make their way to the ceremony.

"Okay," the Doctor said to Lydia, "this hasn't quite worked out how I wanted."

Lydia was trying to walk in the wedding gown that weighed as much as she did, with River and the Doctor trying to help shove her along.

"You don't say?," River chimed in, trying to carry the massive train.

"You are not getting married. Trust me," said the Doctor.

Just then, the doors to the great hall opened, revealing what must have been thousands of guests. They all stood to attention upon seeing the bride. A small orchestra began a rendition of a familiar song.

"Is that The Lion King?," asked Lydia.

"God, you're predictable," said River.

"I don't know," the Doctor muttered as they started down the aisle. "They just started asking me questions and I made up things. Lots of things."

Just then they were joined down the aisle by a Chinese dragon puppet manned by a crew that went prancing up the aisle. Lydia looked back at the Doctor who kept having to wipe his nose with his sleeve.

"Like I said, lots of things."

They made their way down the aisle towards a dais. The King sat on his throne, the Prince, presumably stood by his side, his forty six or so wives lined up behind him. He was a nervous looking green man with big ears who

"Sorry," said the Doctor, "this thing is just totally unacceptable. First, I have not yet received my gift of a banana grove in exchange for my daughter. Nor are the ceremonial Jelly Babies present. I only see jelly and frankly, that is simply amateurish. Your hat, Your Majesty, is nowhere near funny enough-"

"This si my crown, it has been in my family for a million years."

"Well, I don't see anyone laughing, it's not funny. The dragon dance was middling at best. The performance of 'The Circle of Life' while technically proficient, lacked heart. Also, 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight' would have been a more appropriate choice for a wedding."

The King looked at Betone. "This man is ridiculous."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"Bound to be even more ridiculous when we discuss breeding," said the King.

"Yes, I'm actually quite known for that," said the Doctor.

"Breeding?," shrieked Lydia.

"She can't breed! She's just a baby!," said a man in a fez.

"Dad!," said Lydia.

"What?," asked the Doctor.

"What?," asked the King.

"Hello," said the man with the fez, "I'm Lydia's father, the Doctor. Though now my name is Eleven, you're Ten. Our wives have decided."

River snorted. The newly christened Doctor cast her a glare.

"Ten?," asked the Doctor.

"I know," said Eleven. "I tried to get them to let me put it in Spanish."

"Enough!," said the Oracle.

"Mum!," said Lydia.

The Oracle looked at Ten. "What is she wearing? I believe I had a birthday cake designed along similar lines once."

"Come on, Lydia," said Eleven, "we're leaving!"

"I can't really walk," said Lydia.

"Oh," said the Doctor, "John, Donna, where did you go?"

"Donna!," said Ten, rushing over. Before John could stop them, he had kissed her. "Oh, I'm so glad you're alright. How are the girls?"

"One, the girls are fine. Two, I'm not your wife."

"Oh," said Ten. He looked at John. "Sorry, you wear the same perfume. So, this is...?"

"My wife," said John.

"Three, I want to have a long chat with you about Rose," said Donna.

"I bet you do," said Ten with a sigh.

"Would someone be so kind as to tell me what's going on?," asked the King.

"Oh, it's simple," said Eleven, "I'm the Doctor, this is my wife, the Oracle, together we're-"

"Don't even!," snapped the Oracle. "What's happening is that I am taking my daughter and leaving and you can just deal with it!"

"This is in violation of all our traditions," said the King.

"Sod your traditions," said the Oracle.

The crowd gasped.

"Oracle, apologize, trust me," said Ten.

"I will not apologize, I will do no such thing. My daughter is kidnapped and I'm the one who is supposed to apologize? I think not!"

"Oracle, please," said Ten.

Eleven looked skeptically at his counterpart. "What happens if she doesn't apologize?"

"What happens?," asked Lydia.

"Yes, mind sharing with the rest of us?," asked River.

"You and I will fight then," said the King.

"Fine," said the Oracle.

"To the death," said the King.

"Fine," said the Oracle.

"What's happening?," asked Donna.

John drew a breath. "The Oracle just agreed to fight the King of Asterica to the death."

"So," Ten said to Eleven, "temper on her as well?"

"You should have seen her fight the Rani."

"I did," said Ten.

The King stood up, revealing that he was in fact about nine feet tall.

"What?," asked the Oracle. "Am I meant to be frightened?"

"We will battle tomorrow at dusk."

"Why not now?," asked the Oracle.

Eleven pulled his wife back. "Tomorrow will be splendid."

Donna motioned at the men. "I was here to keep them from doing something stupid."