A/N: Ah! Reviewers I love you! I was so inspired by your comments, I had to start working on this chapter right away. It is so encouraging that someone likes my story! This one meandered away a little from my original plan. I swear, these characters have a mind of their own sometimes.

Chapter 20

Alice woke sometime around five a.m. She was in bed with Hatter. She had slept with Hatter. She barely knew him, what was she doing, and what had she been thinking? She heard Hatter's deep rhythmic breathing next to her and slipped quietly from the bed so she wouldn't wake him. She needed to think, and she couldn't think clearly lying near him with his arms curled around her. She moved silently into the main room, drawn to the window. She sat on the floor by the window, staring up at the moon partially obscured by clouds as she let the cold breeze caress her face. She looked back over her shoulder through the open bedroom door at Hatter's still form; his arm outstretched where she had lain a few moments before. She sighed, turning to face the window again.

This was too soon, it was too much and it was too soon. She padded back into the bedroom, grabbing her clothing silently and began to dress. She stood at the window again, looking out at the night sky. The sun was hours still from breaking over the horizon. She moved to the front door. Alice looked down at her shoes and sighed. She didn't even know why she was doing this. The night had been perfect; Hatter was the best thing to ever happen to her. It was just so soon, it wasn't logical. She took a deep shuddering breath and bit her lip. This was her problem, not his. She had to decide if she could accept this, or not. And she had to decide now, before she did something she would regret. She made herself think of life without Hatter in it, and she forced herself to really think about what that would mean.

She shook her head, as the tears threatened to overflow her eyes. She wasn't going to do this. She wasn't going to do this to Hatter; she couldn't hurt him like this. Hell, she didn't want to imagine life without him. She had to make peace with this. Did it matter so much how long she knew him? Didn't it matter more that she knew him inside and out, as he knew her. Yes. This would be the last time, she promised. No more running, that was done, it was over. She would slip back into bed, he would never need to know how close she'd come to walking out on him.

Hatter woke at the absence of Alice's warmth next to him. He opened his eyes, the sun wasn't even up. Confused, he sat up in bed and noticed her clothes and shoes were gone.

"Alice!" he cried, terror filling him.

Alice jumped as she heard Hatter call for her in a panic. She turned to face the bedroom door, he was awake.

He leapt from the bed, launching himself into the main room in an instant. He looked around wildly, hoping against hope that she was here. He didn't see her at first, standing in the semi dark. She was standing near the front door, half tuned to face him. Relief flooded through him before his mind had time to process that she was dressed and her near proximity to the door. Drawing the conclusion that she had been leaving… leaving him, took a moment longer. He froze, his heart seized in his chest.

Hatter stood in the doorway of his bedroom, staring at her. He swallowed hard and clenched his jaw as hurt filled him, then anger, then frustration. The emotions flowed across his face like water. Would it always be this struggle between them? Him trying to hold someone to him who didn't want to be held? Her leaving him now, after all this…after he finally thought she wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her…it felt like a betrayal. He felt something break inside of him.

"Alice? What are you doing?" he asked in a small voice, his accent slurring the phrase so that it was almost incomprehensible.

He sounded frail, so hurt, so unlike him. Oh God, He thinks I'm leaving, Alice thought. She could explain it to him but the harm had been done; she had just damaged something fragile between them. It occurred to her that she was likely not the only one with relationship issues. As much as she tried to squirm and wiggle and avoid entrapment, so did Hatter try to hold on. She supposed he must have his reasons, as she had hers.

His chest ached; he swallowed again to try to clear the choking lump from his throat. He waited for her answer, coiled and tense.

She went to him, desperate to take the sickening look of abandonment off of his face. She stopped short at arm's length, started to reach for his hands but he flinched back. Stung, she dropped her hands to her sides.

"Answer me," he demanded, his voice breaking.

"I wasn't going anywhere. Well, I was, but I changed my mind," she blurted.

His expression hardened as he studied her face, searching for truth. It was only then that she fully understood what she had done. He had worked so hard to gain her trust, but she had always had his. Her stupid impulsive act had just ruined it. She had ruined everything.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, but it won't happen again," she promised, "Please believe me?" she begged.

He had heard it before, and Hatter was no fool.

She didn't know how to fix this. Hatter hadn't moved, and his expression hadn't softened. He looked away, she saw him thinking over what she had said, turning the pieces in his mind like she was a puzzle to be figured out.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked softly as her eyes filled with tears. It was hard for her to ask, and if he said yes she would deserve it.

He had heard it before, but he had made her a promise. He had promised that he wouldn't let her push him away. He just didn't know when he made it the promise that it would hurt so much to keep it.

He exhaled, "Of course not."

A spasm of pain washed over his face again as he met her gaze, "Why Alice? Why now? I don't understand. What did I do?"

She was undone. He blamed himself. All he had done was try to be there for her, try to protect her, and love her despite all her baggage. She had hurt him more times than she could count, and yet here he was asking what he had done wrong. She could take pain, if it was her pain…but not his. She couldn't hold them back, the tears began to fall. She wasn't crying for herself, she was crying for the damage she had done to him, and to the trust he had in her.

Hatter's heart broke a little more as he saw her tears begin to fall.

"No, Alice. Don't cry," he said taking her into his arms, finally, "Just tell me."

She began sobbing in earnest, "Nothing. I was being stupid, but I changed my mind. I wasn't leaving. I promise you," And you don't believe me, she left unsaid.

"Shh, no it's alright. Just stop crying, please?" he comforted her, holding her close.

She was crying so hard she couldn't speak, taking hiccupping breaths in between sobs. It was as if once the floodgates had opened, she couldn't shut them again. She sank down on the floor, Hatter following her down. He couldn't get her to stop, he started to panic. He had to make her stop.

"Alice, I'm here. Whatever it is, it's okay," he murmured.

Slowly she regained control of herself, breathing deeply. Hatter turned her face so he could look in her eyes.

"Will you tell me?" he asked softly.

She nodded, "If you want to hear it."

He braced himself and nodded, "Tell me."

Alice swallowed and met his eyes squarely, "I woke up next to you, and all I could think about was that we barely know each other."

Hatter opened his mouth to protest, and then shut it, thinking it was better to let her speak, "Go on."

"But then I realized that it wasn't true. I know you. Everything else doesn't matter. I thought about what it would mean to give you up, and I couldn't walk out. I can't give you up, and I couldn't hurt you." Her face crumpled and new tears began to form, "But I hurt you anyway, and then you didn't believe me."

Hatter sighed as he pulled her close. He kissed her tear-streaked cheeks.

"We are a mess for sure," he acknowledged.

He stood, pulling her up with him, "Come back to bed?" He asked calmly, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

She stared at him. Just like that? He had accepted what she said and moved past it. He wasn't angry? Her brow furrowed as she studied him. No temper tantrums, no threats that this had better be the last time? He stood there patiently, waiting for her answer. He raised his eyebrows, question in his face.

"I love you. You are a remarkable amazing man, and I don't deserve you," she said, looking up at him.

He laughed softly, "Is that a yes? Because I am a little bit chilly."

She realized he had been out here in the cold living room wearing only his boxers. With the window open, the temperature had dropped considerably. He must be freezing.

"Yes," Alice answered.

"Good," he said, leading her back to the bed.

She snuggled in close to Hatter, closing her eyes and letting the sound of his heartbeat lull her to sleep. Hatter was awake a while after Alice drifted off to sleep. For all his outward calm acceptance, Alice had wounded him deeply. He wanted to believe her when she said she wouldn't leave again. She hadn't walked out, that counted for a lot. He loved her, and wasn't going to give her up, and he hoped that would be enough for her.

When they awoke (again) that morning, Hatter acted as if their early morning fight had never happened; Alice wasn't sure what to think about that. They stayed in bed until hunger drove them from it, reluctant to leave each other's arms to face the outside world. Alice insisted on making breakfast, and after choking down the first couple of bites of burnt eggs, she let Hatter make the second breakfast. It was wonderful.

Her cell phone rang as they were getting ready to walk to her place for a change of clothes. It was one of her cop friends from the dojo, they had picked up the gang leader and they wanted her and Hatter to come by and identify him. She promised to stop by the station within the hour, and they walked to her place. Alice showered and changed while Hatter explored her CD collection. He had made an offhand comment about how he missed listening to music, so she told him he could borrow anything he liked.

She came out of her bedroom with a small duffle bag packed with necessities for the next couple of days slung over her shoulder. Hatter shot her a questioning look.

"What's that for?" he asked warily, afraid to hope.

Suddenly nervous, Alice looked at the floor before answering, "Well if I am staying at your place for the next couple of nights, I want a change of clothes…and a toothbrush."

"Really?" he asked.

"If you want me too," she answered.

"Oh yeah," he affirmed, breaking into one of his blinding grins as he picked her up and swung her around.

She shrieked and smacked his arm, "Put me down!"

He did, but he was still smiling as they walked out the door. He would have Alice all to himself for two whole days at least. He started to believe that she might have meant what she said before, about not leaving again.

Hatter looked around the police station with such curiosity that Alice jabbed him in the ribs. He smirked at her and tried to keep his staring to a minimum. Wonderland had nothing like this; it was incredibly interesting to him. He had no trouble picking out the burly man that had smashed his skull into the brick wall of his building about a dozen times. Alice confirmed that it was him, and they both agreed to come to court to testify. It seemed that this particular thug has gotten off several times because people were afraid to testify, but neither Alice nor Hatter had much back-up in them.

Alice's friend pulled him aside as they were leaving to tell him that a couple of people that had been planning on testifying against the gang leader had disappeared. He said he just wanted to be sure Alice was cautious, and that they needed to call if they saw anything suspicious. Hatter worried about Alice, he made her promise not to go anywhere alone. She rolled her eyes at him, but nodded. Alice thought that he was overreacting; after all, the guy was in jail. Hatter wasn't so sure. He had experience with these kind of people, and in his experience, they didn't let these things go unpunished.

A/N: Dun dun dahhhh (dramatically ominous music plays)

More to come. Did you like it? I hope so…it was a harder one to write.