Yohji froze as he entered the study and he stared in open-mouthed surprise at the small redhead who occupied the desk chair.

"Where's…?"

"I sent Schuldig to the grocery store. He should be gone for at least another hour." Aya's voice was as unreadable as ever, his gaze sharp. "Sit down, Yohji."

"I really don't…"

"Yohji."

He sat.

Aya allowed silence to pass between them, staring at him as if, by the act of staring, he could force him into remembering him. Yohji boldly stared back.

Aya was a beautiful man, really. Beautiful no matter what his gender. His pale skin looked incredibly smooth that Yohji couldn't help but to wonder how it felt. His eyes were so very deep and dark in his face, making him appear heart wrenchingly delicate.

He was perfect the way a statue was perfect, though. Beautiful, but impossible to love.

And incapable of loving.

Aya said that he loved him – but how could it ever be possible for him to feel anything, much less something so complicated, so overwhelming, so…

"You know that Schuldig has been keeping me informed of your progress?" Aya asked, drawing Yohji from his thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, I guess…"

"In the memories, you're now a private investigator…having an affair with your partner, Asuka, correct?"

"Yeah. You know, it's really strange. My wife's name is…"

Something that could only be described as pain flashed through Aya's eyes. The redhead ducked his head quickly, and a long silence passed once more. Yohji realized that the smaller man was using the time to compose himself.

"Aya…?"

"Do you want to go home, Yohji?"

"Home? I don't…I mean, I thought the whole point of this was so that I could remember you?"

"You now remember your childhood, your school days, your family. From this point forward, the good memories will be few and far in between."

"Even the ones of you?"

"Especially the ones of me."

Yohji allowed himself a moment to think about it. When he spoke, he chose his words carefully.

"I want my memories, Aya. All of them. But…I miss my wife. I love her…and she's gotta be worried about me by now."

A sharp, tight nod.

"Fine, then. I'll take you home today. Watch so that you'll know the way back if…if you choose to return for your other memories."

"Aya…"

Uncurling from his chair, Aya rose quickly.

"Come on."

"Why do they call you Aya?"

It had been too quiet in the car for far too long, and Yohji was uneasy. Seeking some form of conversation, the blonde had blurted the first thing that had come to mind.

"What do you mean?" the redhead asked quietly.

"Your parents didn't really name you Aya, did they? It's a girl's name."

"My name was Ran."

"Ran?"

"Now it's Aya."

"But why?"

Silence.

Aya came to a stop at a red light.

"Where do I turn?" he asked at last?"

Yohji stared at him, but knew somehow that Aya would not say anything more on the subject.

"Next right," he sighed at last.

Yohji had barely gotten out of the car before Aya was peeling out of the driveway without a word of goodbye.

The blonde stared after the car until he could no longer see it, wondering if he'd ever see the small redhead again. The thought that he might not…hurt. A little.

Yohji sighed, mentally kicking himself. He had wanted to leave, hadn't he? Those freaks had kidnapped him. And he wasn't attracted to men anyway…even if that didn't seem to be exactly true anymore. Even if he did have some rather explicit memories of sleeping with a few.

Make up your mind. Are you glad to see him go, or aren't you?

He almost wanted to pretend that the question in his mind had been placed there by Schuldig, but he knew it wasn't true. Those doubts were his own.

Yohji shook his head and headed up the front steps, knocking on the door as he tried to remember what he had done with his keys.

When Asuka opened the door, she only blinked at him, eyes wide with surprise.

"Yohji!"

"Asuka, baby – I'm home."

He grinned, all other thoughts falling away as he lifted his bride into his arms and barreled into the house.

It was good to be home.

Schuldig returned from his shopping trip to find his lover in the room Yohji had been using, sitting on the bed with his knees drawn up, his mind a dark and painful thing that lashed out at him with claw and fang.

"Vielchen?"

Aya did not look up at the sound of his voice, nor did he show any other indication that he even knew he was there.

But he did answer.

"I took Yohji home today."

"Aya…"

In mere seconds, Schuldig was across the room, his arms around Aya as the man broke down and began to sob.

"Hello?" the voice on the other line was drowsy, and maybe a little annoyed.

She really didn't give a shit.

"It's me."

Silence a long moment.

"Ah, Asuka." the voice on the other end greeted with a cheerfulness she was certain was not real. "How pleasant to hear from you at…one in the morning. I assume this call means he has returned?"

"He has."

"Good, good."

"Listen, Takat - "

"Has he said anything about where he's been?" he interrupted.

"No, he won't tell me a thing."

"Did you try to…persuade…him?"

"Yes," she sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. "I've tried everything he likes – even things I normally won't do. He won't tell me!"

"Keep trying, then," he answered, sounding both tired and vaguely threatening. "Good ni - "

"I want more money."

Silence.

"Excuse me?"

Squeezing her eyes shut, she fought the fear that rose up within her when his voice sounded like that.

"More money, Mamoru! I want more money!"

"…we had an agreement, Asuka."

"I change my name and pretend to fall in love with some guy who can't even remember his own birthday. Yeah, that's fine, Mamoru, but things are different now." she clutched the phone tightly, afraid of losing her nerve. "When he went missing, the ladies in the neighborhood began to talk."

"We warned you that he may be unfaithful."

"If I'm going to suffer their whispers and pity, then I need more money!"

This time the silence was more thoughtful than anything else. A muffled voice asked a question on the other line, and Asuka idly found herself wondering who was sharing her employer's bed.

At last the man sighed.

"Look – I have a very important meeting very early in the morning. Can we wait and discuss this at our usual monthly meeting?"

"On Tuesday?"

"Yes."

"O…okay."

"Thank you. Goodnight."

"Ah…yes. Goodnight, then…"

She hung up the phone and stared at it a long while before, with a sigh, turning to get some sleep.

She froze at the feel of eyes on her, and slowly she glanced at her "sleeping" husband.

Emerald green eyes closed and Yohji rolled over, giving her his back.

In the morning, he was gone.

Asuka leapt quickly from their marriage bed, and soon discovered that Yohji's clothes were missing from the closet, though his car was still in the garage. His wallet, too, lay in its habitual spot atop the dresser, along with his keys.

There was no note, no sign of any goodbye.

It was just…gone.

Dread deep in her belly, Asuka quickly dialed her employer's number, praying that she could think of some way to explain her carelessness.

"I…is Taketori-san there?"

The next day, Aya acted as if nothing were wrong. His mind remained dark and cold, however, it was no longer the howling inferno of pain that it had been after he took Yohji home.

He insisted that he was fine, and refused to discuss the matter further.

In an attempt to take his mind off what he refused to admit was troubling him, Schuldig offered to take Aya out.

The concept of dining out bore no response, and Aya's mind actually recoiled at the suggestion of a club or a movie.

At last Schuldig decided that they would just take a drive and talk for as long as Aya would let them.

Aya didn't seem too inclined to indulge him on the "talking" part, but agreed to come along for the ride. At last, when night was slowly and softly falling around them, Schuldig stopped at a playground.

Aya obligingly got out of the car and followed Schuldig, sitting down next to him on one of the swings.

The early evening air was cool and fresh, and Schuldig, at least, was glad to be out of the house.

Aya surprised him by reaching out and taking his hand.

"Thank you, Schuldig."

They stayed at the park for another two hours, swaying gently on the swings and holding hands, completely silent. Aya freely let Schuldig into his mind, closing his eyes as the telepath delicately soothed away his hurt with a gentle mental touch like a soft breeze across his mind.

By the time they rose to leave, Aya's mind was not nearly so dark a place to be.

Schuldig kissed him, then got into the car to drive home.

Aya at last, quietly, admitted that he was hungry, and Schuldig swung by an open-all-night drive through.

"Do you want to eat in the car?"

"No," Aya answered quietly. "I want to go home."

Schuldig smiled.

When they got out of the car at the house, Aya grabbed hold of Schuldig and pulled him close, trapping himself against the car as Schuldig eagerly responded to his silent request, kissing him deeply and soundly.

Aya was so sweetly pliant, so quietly needy. Schuldig smirked against his lover's mouth as he set the bag of fast food to rest atop the car so he would have both hands free.

Aya's arms had already gone around him, his hands buried deep in Schuldig's hair, pulling him, forcing him where he wanted him. The hint of violence to Aya's passion had always been deliciously exciting to the telepath.

Schuldig forced Aya's shirt up, splaying his hands across his smooth, taunt abdomen, kneeling so he could gain better access to his perfect, alabaster skin.

Aya stopped him as he tried to go lower, and pulled him back to his feet and against his body.

"Let's go inside," he requested.

Schuldig's smirk only grew as he abruptly caught Aya up into his arms.

"That wasn't what I had in mind." Aya glared.

"Grab the food!" Schuldig laughed.

Aya sighed, but did as asked, grabbing up the bad of food and reluctantly allowing Schuldig to carry him to the house.

Schuldig froze on the walkway, staring at the lone figure that sat on the front steps.

Yohji Kudoh looked up slowly, eyes weary, and Schuldig quickly put Aya down.

"I want my memories." the blonde man rasped without preamble.

Aya took two steps toward him, then stopped.

"How long have you been waiting here?"

A humorless smile.

"All-fuckin-day."

"What about your wife?" Aya's voice was so cold and sharp, as if Yohji were some small child in need of discipline.

There was no mistaking the flash of hurt in Yohji's eyes though.

"Asuka…Asuka is…" the blonde hesitated, then looked past Aya to Schuldig. "You said my memories had been purposefully tampered with. That someone who knew what they were doing came in and stole my memories."

"Ja."

A deep breath.

Yohji closed his eyes.

"Someone paid Asuka to marry me." he said quietly, voice a rasp as he fought down rising emotions. He gave a small, bitter laugh. "Hell, Asuka isn't even her real name. They paid her to change it, too."

"Yohji?"

He shook his head, expression filled with pain.

"The name of my old partner, right? My lover."

"Yes." Aya whispered. This time, speaking earned him Yohji's full, burning attention.

"Someone went to one hell of a lot of trouble to make me forget – and to give me the kind of life they thought would make me happy." Yohji stated, steel in his eyes. "Aya…Schuldig…I want to know why. I want my memories; I want to be me again. And once I am, I want to find the bastard responsible for this and make him pay."

Aya approached him at last, reaching out to touch Yohji's hair.

"We'll help you," he promised quietly.

To Be Continued

Response to Unsigned Reviews:

guiltyamethyst - he actually has a wife in cannon, at the end of Gluhen. I wouldn't be that twisted if I didn't have an excuse for it. (grin)

Moon without a Sun - I finished writing this this weekend (something like 24 chapters, I think...) Anyway, trust me when I say that there will be plenty so squee about.

arcanelight - LOL. Schu loves you for those thoughts.