ALL THERE WAS
THE LAST CHAPTER
MISCARRIAGE
"Please open your eyes
Please don't fade away
I won't let you leave me
I'll follow you through it all
Wherever it will lead me
I will follow"
-Gloom, Beauty, and Despair by Swallow the Sun
RITSU GOES ALONE…
She didn't even remember falling asleep. One moment she was leaning against Azusa, and the next thing she knew she was caught in a whirlwind of strange dreams and nightmares that seemed to last on forever. She only really remembered one.
The dream was a standard nightmare, the kind that came with watching a scary movie or eating peanut butter before bed. She was running with her friends away from the school, Sakuragaoka, and Azusa was missing. There were dead looking girls in their uniforms shuffling around, like zombies. She was running with a submachine gun in her hands, and was covered with blood.
"Ricchan!" Yui and Mugi screamed in unison in her dream. The drummer gasped, and didn't have time to react as a massive German Sheppard leaped at her, going straight for her face with its teeth. Trying to force herself to wake up from the nightmare, she tried to grab its muzzle and stop it from biting her. It was in vain, the dog tore at her right ear viciously. It may have been a dream, but the pain felt very, very real. Screaming, she writhed in agony under the weight of the animal as it tore her ear off. There was a crunching sound, and Ritsu saw with some satisfaction that Yui had broken her guitar over the hound, stunning it briefly. Acting without thinking, Ritsu managed to grab the submachine gun she had in the dream and unload a few bursts into the dog and kill it. Shaking all over, she got to her hands and staggered over to the wall of the gymnasium right by her. Even in a dream, she was terrified of feeling what was left of her ear. Blood was pouring out of the wound, and staining her school uniform, and she knew this had to be a nightmare brought on by the Entity of Suffering. Was this even a dream, or was this its very domain? If the latter were true, then she probably stood no chance at rescuing Mugi.
Before she could even feel the hopelessness set in, the doors of the gymnasium burst up, and several dead, zombified girls in the Sakuragaoka uniform fell on her. There were three of them, and they eagerly began tearing into her flesh with their teeth. She screamed and struggled, unable to escape their (excuse the pun…) deadweight as the pressed her down and dug into an all-you-can-eat Ricchan buffet. The pain as excruciating and unreal as teeth tore into her right breast, grinding and snapping, eagerly trying to eat at her flesh. She continued screaming and pushed the monster's head away, and with it came a sizable chunk of meat torn away from her. Another lunged in and bit down on the back of her hand, and she felt the third digging into her shin.
This can't be real, this can't be real, this can't be real! Her mind repeated over and over as her body screamed. She felt teeth ripping against her neck, and her mouth filled with the taste of blood. This dream ended as playing the role of a victim in a zombie movie. She was killed in seconds, but thankfully it was a dream.
Ritsu awoke with a start, screaming and clutching her neck. It was still burning in agony like it was being torn open, but seemed to be fine in the flesh. She was sitting up on concrete, in a massive room whose ceiling she couldn't see. It looked like some kind of abandoned warehouse, obscured by fog like the field and sea of dirt before. The fog had a sickly yellow color too it, making this whole place seem to radiate a horrible miasma of the soul. Her heart was pounding from the dream, and she had trouble believing it had just been a dream. The sensations in it were still real, and she could feel the aftermath of pain in all the places she had been bitten. Even her ear was still throbbing, and she had to touch it to make sure it was even still there.
So this is it, the World of Suffering. That was one hell of a welcome…
"Ritsu!" A voice she didn't recognized called out from the fog. It was feminine, and vaguely reminded her of Yui, just less high pitched and chirpy.
And this must be the welcome committee! Let's go see what she has in store for me.
Ritsu stood up and stretched, wincing at the aches sleeping on concrete had so kindly left her. Her fatigue from yesterday was gone, but hunger had replaced it. Stomach growling, she walked towards the voice in the fog, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. In only a matter of seconds, the mist became less substantial and a girl's form materialized. Ritsu nearly had her breath stolen away; this girl could have been Yui's twin. She was naked (go figure) and bore striking resemblance to that air-headed guitarist. The only real difference was that her hair went down to her waist, and she was absolutely filthy with dirt and mud. She also stank like a bath was a foreign and terrifying concept to her. Ritsu could say with utmost certainty that this was not Yui.
"Where's Mugi?" She demanded right away.
"She's in a place called 'the garden'." The Yui lookalike replied pleasantly, like Ritsu was someone she had been waiting to see. "You still have a bit of time, but the Glorious One is going to try and stop you."
"Glorious One? That's what you call him?" Ritsu shook her head in disbelief. "Still, good to know I'm not completely doomed."
"It's what he likes to be called." She told her, and outstretched a filthy hand. "By the way, I'm Ui."
Oh boy, here we go. I wonder if I'll find the Other Jun, Other Sumire, and Other Nao around here too. I wonder if they know what happened to their Other guitarist, heheheh…
"Tainaka Ritsu." The drummer shook her grimy hand. "So, are you going to help me out?"
"You bet!" Other Ui cheerfully said. "Nobody here really likes the Glorious One, and there's talk that you could even get rid of him for good!"
"Wouldn't that be something?" Ritsu gave a dry, incredibly forced laugh. "So, where do I have to go?"
"Like, I said, the garden. Come on, follow me." She said, and gestured for Ritsu to follow. Together, the two of them set off into the fog. It was like the sea of dirt, only now a sea of concrete. As they walked, Other Ui continued to talk, "Believe it or not, the master here has a physical form somewhere. Nobody knows where it is or has ever seen it. He's going to leave that and enter the girl he found, the one you're trying to rescue. If you took her away from the ritual spot, he couldn't get to her and… well… he'd have nowhere to go and die out pretty quickly. I think Azusa-chan already told you why you're the only who can do this."
"Yeah…" Ritsu found herself smiling for some reason. Not only could she rescue Mugi, but she could kill this bastard too. Two drums with one stick or something. That was something she certainly had to look forward to.
"He's going to try and stop you though." Other Ui continued. "Remember though, the more you suffer, the worse it gets."
"That makes you the third or fourth person to tell me this." Ritsu commented. She still didn't really know what it meant.
"Then you'll be fine." The long-haired girl sighed in relief. "There's the door right there."
This time the door was a literal door instead of a giant metaphor or what not. Metal, rusted, covered in rivets; Ritsu wasn't really all too surprised by its appearance. It felt familiar, like she had somehow passed through it in another life or something. So from what she could gather, beyond here was some place called the garden and the Entity of Suffering was going to try to stop her in his own playing field. It was the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, last pitch, blah blah blah…
"Well, thanks I guess." Ritsu awkwardly said, and stood in front of the door.
"Good luck."
"Wait." The drummer stopped for a moment, remembering something she heard Other Azusa say. Something about a third sister, and this girl here bore striking resemblance to both Ui and Yui. Other Azusa had never introduced herself as such, and had been an exact replica. This Ui didn't look exactly like either Hirasawa sister, but looked like she belonged in the family, like a cousin. So Ritsu asked, "Who exactly are you?"
"I'm Ui, remember?"
"Yeah, it's just strange since you look just like the sister of another Ui I know. That's not a very common name either." Ritsu told her.
This Ui smiled and said, "I really look like onee-chan? That's great!"
"Onee-chan? What are you talking about?" Ritsu took a step back. "Yui only has one sister, and you're definitely not her."
That pushed the girl's buttons quite masterfully, and she instantly became distraught and angry, shouting, "Why do you and the others care about that other Ui so much? I was supposed to be in her place, it's not fair! Even after I got rid of her, you people still care. Why? All she did was steal my name and place!"
"Wait, got rid of her?" Ritsu repeated in shock. Did this girl just imply that she had been the killer? If so, why?
'Ui' instantly back pedaled and threw on a forced grin. "Did… Did I just say that? Oh no, that's not what I meant to say. I mean, it was Onee-chan who got rid of her, you should know that! She did it because I'm the one who should have been her sister, right?"
"You…" Ritsu began to feel her blood boil. "You killed her! You're the one who killed Ui!"
She didn't know the details about who this girl was, but apparently she thought she was Yui's sister and was violently jealous. So what had she done? Possess Yui and get revenge for, what, Ui simply existing? What was she supposed to be exactly, though? A parallel Ui who shared none of the same endearing traits? Ritsu didn't understand, but she was mad at her. The rage building inside her was unlike anything she had ever felt. Without thinking, she lunged forward and threw her hands around the girl's throat and squeezed hard.
"You killed Ui!" She screamed, and continued to squeeze as hard as she could. The brown-haired girl began to go limp, and didn't even struggle under Ritsu's superior strength. She simply choked as she struggled to gasp for air. Her hands weakly grabbed at Ritsu's wrists. Unable to even think straight, Ritsu screamed at her again, "This is your fault! Everything that's happened is because of you! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"
Other Ui's face was getting redder and redder, and her choking became louder and louder as Ritsu throttled her. The drummer was in a flurry of tears, wishing so desperately that strangling this monster would somehow undo everything. Inside, she felt horrified at what she was doing, and horrified at just how satisfying squeezing the life out of her was. It was some kind of small comfort, like revenge in a way. Pretty soon this Ui went limp in her hands and Ritsu let her fall to the ground, unconscious. Her neck was darkened from bruises, and her eyes had rolled to the back of her head. Her chest was slowly rising and falling, so Ritsu hadn't had gone too far and killed her. Roughing her up a bit was fine. Killing Ayumu had been one murder too many, she didn't need the idea of strangling someone with her bare hands to weigh on her conscious too.
She was wasting time though, and needed to get to the Entity. At least she finally understood just what had happened from start to finish with Azusa, Ui, and Yui. This jealous girl had been hiding away like a spirit, slowly hating Ui for who knew how long. Went the time came, she possessed or controlled Yui somehow, then made her kill her sister. Then after that, Yui somehow disappeared to this world, and everything that followed was because of this. At least, that was what Ritsu gathered from all of this. And at the heart of it, the Entity of Suffering had been the one stoking the flames.
She shook her head and found the rusty handle of this over-the-top attempt to intimidate her they called a door. With a good yank, it screeched on open, and Ritsu stepped blindly into the darkness beyond. There was no ceiling or sky, everything above her was just solid, pitch black. The path in front of her was a decrepit paved walkway, with mud branching off endlessly in all directions. It was like a sea of dirt, with one lonely path going through it. All she had to do was follow the mildewy brick road, follow the mildewy brick road, follow the mildewy brick road…
Ritsu took the first step, and instantly everything around her faded to blackness.
I should have seen that coming…
"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" A disembodied voice shouted from all around her. It was a man's voice, and he sounded like a game show host. Was this the Entity of Suffering talking to her? Strange, Ritsu imagined him sounding like Travis Ryan of Cattle Decapitation with inhumanly horrible screams and growls. Instead, this sounded like an overly friendly salesman trying to make her walk off the lot with a brand new car.
The voice continued in that same obnoxious, out of place tone, "So you're Tainaka Ritsu, the one who stopped my lovely bride from coming here at first. Too bad you were unable to stop her a second time."
"Mugi is not your bride, you monster!" Ritsu shouted into the blackness.
The Entity chuckled, vibrating the air all around Ritsu. "You're right, Tainaka Ritsu, she's more of a piece of meat to be used for my own purposes. It'd be rather awful if you made it to her, and moved her. Luckily, that's not going to happen. My influence has left you dead in countless realities before this. While we're waiting for the ritual to finish up here, let's explore some of these."
What? What is he talking about?
Ritsu tried to run forward, and felt like she was actually making progress. This ended abruptly as she felt pressure on her jaw, like it was being pushed down by some unknown force. Fear was mounting as the pressure became heavier and heavier, and she was afraid her jaw was going to be dislocated or something. Ritsu's hands went to her face, and felt that her mouth was closed. This was impossible, it felt like her mouth was being pried open, but at the same time it appeared to be closed. Stinging, horrible pain began to appear at the side of her lips, and felt like her cheeks were getting split. She cried out, and gagged on the overwhelming taste of blood. Her hands gripped her cheeks, and they continued to feel normal with her mouth closed. The pain was unbearable though, and she soon found herself on her knees, trying to scream. No sound came out; instead she choked on the taste of irony filth and rancid tasting bile. Her gagging was audible, but at the same time, her mouth felt normal and devoid of any sort of abnormal liquids. It was like she was feeling the pain of another person while her body stayed the same.
Even if that made it seem like this wasn't real, the pain wasn't going away. She couldn't move forward, only clutch her face in agony and try desperately to keep from choking herself into unconsciousness. It literally felt like her face was being torn in two, and wasn't showing any sign of stopping. All around her, the Entity that controlled this place laughed as she twisted and squirmed in the darkness.
Finally, it ended and she was back in that place called 'the garden' again. Her cheeks felt numb with the pain gone so suddenly. She was sweating all over, and shaking horribly as she got to her feet and sprinted down the path. No matter what it took, she was going to make it to Mugi.
"That was a really fun instance of you being murdered." The entity laughed at her. "Know who was the killer there? Get this, it was none other than Akiyama Mio, brought back from the dead with a taste for killing!"
Ritsu's step faltered a bit at those words, but she shook her head and dismissed it. He was just trying to scare her, and slow her down. She couldn't fall for it.
"It was quite a sight to behold. You were writhing there as Hirasawa Yui screamed at your butchered and bloody form, unable to comprehend what she was seeing. She died too not long after, in a much more painless way. It was a death you would have been jealous about if you knew about it. What about your little welcome party with the undead? That one is particularly great because you soon joined their ranks as a mindless killer too. You killed your dear little Mugi!"
"Shut up!" Ritsu screamed.
"That's right; you tore her throat out with your teeth like a savage monster. That's a bit redundant to say, since that's exactly what you are. The funny thing is, this makes the second time she's suffered a horrible fate because of your actions. This time it's a little less direct, but still all your fault. Unlike those other instances, you will actually still be around to witness the world change and become what I want to it to be. You're not going to die, oh no, your suffering will be a great source of fuel for me. And trust me, when I am reborn, you are going to suffer a lot."
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Ritsu gritted her teeth and sprinted forward as fast as she could.
"This is pretty fun, watching you try so hard only to end up failing. If you had listened to that little brat and left with this girl, neither of you would be here now. It's lucky for me that an incompetent, careless idiot like you ended up being my adversary."
Up ahead, Ritsu saw what looked like a pond of black liquid, like tar. There was vaguely human shaped form resting in it, apparently naked with long blonde hair. That was it! There were only about twenty meters between her and Mugi. This was the last stretch, and in less than a minute she would be there with Mugi in her arms!
"Time's ticking Tainaka Ritsu. In about ten minutes I'm going to be in her and remade as a literal god. You get a front row seat too, isn't that great. Hold on though; let's not get too close here."
All around her, everything went black again, and suddenly a horrible, burning pain exploded between her legs. She trembled and fell to her knees, crying out briefly from it. It was like someone had rammed a burning spike of metal inside her private region, giving it a throbbing ache like she had been violated horribly. Her hands grabbed at herself between her legs, unable to stop the horrid feeling. Tears blurred her vision, and even the blackness around her was hard to see as she collapsed onto the ground. This was the worst of the sensations and 'deaths' the Suffering had put her through. Her quiet sobbing became screaming cries of pain and she was half tempted to start begging and screaming for it to stop.
How am I supposed to get to Mugi if he can inflict torment on me like this? It hurts so much I can't even move! This is like… reverse childbirth or something!
"Yeah, I thought this would one would stop you in your tracks. Another one where Mugi died because of you. This is becoming something of a trend huh? You really are a shitty friend, you know that?"
"Damn you…" She choked out through gritted teeth, unable to say any more than that. His words meant nothing to her, but the pain... She would have rather died at that point than keep suffering through this. Plus, the idea of seeing her failure to rescue Mugi, and what that would bring with it… Being dead sounded like a wonderful alternative to this.
Following the pain, it felt like something disgusting, slimy, and hot was oozing out from inside of her. She really didn't want to know what kind of horrible thing happened to her in the reality she was apparently feeling. The feeling of grotesqueness that came with the realization of what she was probably feeling made her want to throw up and die even more. It didn't get any better. Now she felt like someone was stabbing her repeatedly in the chest with a sharp object. She screamed and squirmed as she felt cold, sharp metal stab into her with blood pouring out from the wounds. Sure, none of it was real, and the blood she was feeling was just an illusion… but that didn't do a thing to pull her out of this complete reality of torment and suffering.
What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to win against something like this? All these idiots told me was 'the more you suffer, the worse it gets'. What does that even mean? How can it help me? Are they saying that if I just –not- suffer then I'll be okay?
The pain briefly dampened for a moment at that mere thought, before appearing again at full strength.
Wait, that's it! T-This is a battle of wits; I get it now.
Following up this idea, she tried to just simply pretend the pain wasn't there. It didn't work, and soon the sensation of her cheeks tearing and undead monsters biting her to pieces were added on. She gave one final shriek, with her body arching forward, and twisting from the god-awful agony all over the place. Suffering was going all out, determined to just make her writhe there until his unholy work was finished. Except Ritsu wasn't going to let that happen. Desperate, she tried something else, the only thing she could think to do. She thought about the happiest moments with her friends.
The excitement of watching The Who play Budokan on TV with Mio, and how inspiring Keith Moon was when he played each and every song. The notes, such simple beats to reinforce the rest of the band, but yet so complex in their own way; were what inspired her to take up the sticks as well. Even in the state of awful agony, she could remember how happy she was when she finally purchased her kit and brought it home with Mio. Then there was the anxiety and troubles when they first started playing together, and how difficult it was to coordinate even the most basic of notes at first. But, it was so much and there was a sense of wonder playing the drums at first; a feeling like it was the first step to playing big arenas with tens of thousands of crazy fans.
It wasn't working; the pain wasn't going away just yet.
What about when they first played live? The thrill and fear of drumming in front of a judging audience, followed by the relief and adrenaline of seeing them clapping and jamming along. Then Mio tripped, and fan-service was delivered to an eager audience. Even if all the live shots from the video camera had left Ritsu in the dark, all those shows had been incredible experiences. How could she forget the live house either? A whole room full of strangers jumping from the energy that came from their playing. Ritsu remembered walking out of that place thinking, 'Well, time to quit my day job!'
Is it working? My face doesn't feel like it's being torn apart anymore!
Somehow, that thought sent a surge of relief through her, and suddenly, even the horrible pain between her legs was lessened. She was suffering less, and therefore it was somehow better. The words spoken towards her had been true. The more you suffer, the worse it was. This worked inversely as well.
The trip to London; helping Mugi get hit in the face; just messing around in department store with her friends; the trip to Kyoto; making a recruitment video; playing for the new students at university; and then crying in Mio's arms when they learned about Yui… All there was between them, it had fallen apart so suddenly and Ritsu now realized that wasn't the way it should have been. A tragedy was a tragedy, but they had dishonored and disrespected Yui for drifting away. For fuck's sake, Mugi had transferred to another school and nobody said a word to stop her! Instead of moping around, alone, disconnected from one another, they should have written a song for Ui and Yui's memory! In fact, when Ritsu got out of this, she was going to gather Mugi and Mio and make that happen. This wasn't the end.
This.
Is.
Not.
The.
End.
Ritsu repeated the mantra in her head, and realized that this was working. The pain was replaced by a throbbing numbness that enticed most of her body. Gone was the suffering and the pain, replaced by the same excitement she felt just before hitting the first note of their first live show. It was there again, the spark and drive to make music with her friends and face everything in the world together. If that hadn't been lost in the first place, she wouldn't have been there.
Around her, the darkness began to fade and she was in that garden again. Ritsu scrambled forward towards that black pond; towards Mugi's naked form in the shallow water. She appeared to be sleeping, and wonderfully detached from the horrors around her. She was beautiful too; Ritsu wasn't afraid to say that now.
"NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" The Entity's voice boomed around her, now enraged. "WHY AREN'T YOU SUFFERING? YOU SHOULD BE ON YOUR KNEES YOU WORM!"
"That's what you get for bringing Mugi into this." Ritsu said just as her feet touched the dark waters. "It's your own fault."
"NO I JUST NEED ANOTHER MINUTE! STAY AWAY FROM HER! WHY WON'T YOU SUFFER?" His voice was frantic and desperate, like a child failing to get his way. Ritsu felt some smug satisfaction at knocking an all power entity down a notch. That was what he got for bringing one of her friends into this. It wasn't just Mugi. She would have done the same for Mio; for Azusa; or for Yui. She made it to the sleeping blonde and scooped her up in her arms with some degree of effort. Mugi wasn't wet, which was just another impossibility. This water didn't seem to really be water, because despite being ankle deep, Ritsu's socks weren't wet at all.
Okay Mugi, maybe you could lose a few kilos…
Ritsu grunted, turned around with the blonde in her arms, and ran back the way she came. It was hard to do, and she was on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion already. All around her, the Entity of Suffering screamed and ranted like the child Ritsu thought he truly was.
"NO! PUT HER BACK, I NEED HER! I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING; LET YOU BE THE QUEEN OF MY NEW REALITY! YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT JUST PUT HER BACK! I HAVE NO FORM TO MANIFEST IN, WITHOUT HER I'LL DIE!"
"Which is just fine by me." Ritsu smugly smirked. "Next time, find someone other than one of my friends. Oh wait; there won't be a next time, aha!"
Around her, the ground shuddered and shook as if a great earthquake was threatening to tear it apart. It resonated in chorus with the Entity's screams and cries. She fell forward, clutching Mugi tight and hitting the ground with her shoulder. It was right on her bullet wound, which hurt, but was nothing compared to what she had endured to get there. Ritsu rolled on her back, and tried to sit up, but couldn't with the ground shaking so much. It felt like the whole world was falling apart around her.
Okay, even if we die here, at least nobody else wins from it. I saved Mugi and… I guess that's it. Show's over folks, time to go home, remember to tip your waitresses.
It really did seem like the world was falling apart around her. Dirt was crumbling away in chunks and falling down into a black abyss, leaving holes all over the garden's landscape. Fighting through the quaking earth, Ritsu managed to get to her feet with Mugi still in her arms. The blonde stirred a bit in her sleep, but was still blissfully gone from reality. As Ritsu ran with her, trying so hard to reach the door out of here, she couldn't help but think Mugi looked kind of cute.
You know, I should have thought of this BEFORE having to escape the crumbling World of Suffering.
The path she had taken seemed to go on forever, with no door in sight, and more land around her was disappearing. It didn't seem like she was going to make it.
If I end up falling forever, I hope Mugi wakes up so I have some company while we starve to death in midair.
The ground disappeared beneath her, and her heart sank as she realized she was free falling now. Mugi slipped from her grasp, barely illuminated now against a backdrop of pitch blackness. Ritsu grabbed her wrist and managed to keep hold of her as all sight disappeared with the light. She was too exhausted to scream at the feeling of free falling into the unknown.
Are we going to die?
THE FINAL REUNION
"Ricchan~" A voice whispered through the darkness.
Are we dead now? Ritsu thought, and sat up from wherever she had been laying. It felt like grass, or flowers, like she was in a field. She squinted at the bright light above her, and could only make out two forms in front of her. They seemed familiar, and neither of them were Mugi. They somehow made her feel safe, and something told her that they were only good.
"W-Where's Mugi?" She groggily asked.
"Right next to you, silly!" The voice told her in a happy, chirpy tone.
That voice, it couldn't be… This has to be a dream.
She reached over to her right and felt something warm and soft. Her eyesight returned slowly, and she realized she was resting her hand right on Mugi's naked left breast. Giving a quick gasp of embarrassment, Ritsu turned to face the two who had woken her. Sitting there was Azusa again, still in that uniform with no shoes or socks. Next to her was Hirasawa Yui, in a similar state of dress. The latter smiled before lunging forward and grabbing Ritsu into a tight hug.
"Ricchan!" She squealed, practically squeezing the life out of her. "I missed you so much!"
"Ha-ha, I missed you too, Yui." Ritsu laughed and hugged her back just as tight. Her laughter was impossible to control, and soon she wasn't able to stop it at all. The two of them hugged each other, laughing hysterically until they were in tears and rolling around in the field of grass and beautiful white flowers. This was Ritsu's happy ending it looked like. The princess was saved, and she got to meet her old friends again one last time. After a few moments of laughing and hugging, the two sat up, now covered with bits of grass and flower petals.
Azusa scooted close to them and smiled. "You did it, Ritsu-senpai. He's gone. The unnatural suffering and pain won't happen anymore. There won't be any more people ending up like Yui-senpai and me."
"It's nice here with Azu-nyan." Yui said, smiling as well. "But it's still not as good as what it was like before. I miss playing Gitah with you playing drums, and Mio-chan playing bass, Ricchan."
"Don't forget about Mugi-senpai and me." Azusa added.
"I was getting there!"
Ritsu laughed once more, and felt tears still running down her face. "We haven't played a note without you guys, or not together at least. It's just not the same."
"You can always find other guitarists." Azusa told her.
"They can even play my songs if they want!" Yui happily assured her. "I just hope Gitah's new family is nice to him."
"I'm sure he's in the hands of Eddie Vedder right now." Ritsu told her. "And with every note of his is yours."
"That doesn't make any sense." Azusa giggled.
"I know, it doesn't." Ritsu sighed. "I'm excited to see you two, and I say stupid stuff when I'm excited."
"Does that mean Pearl Jam doesn't have Gitah?" Yui pouted.
"Well, I didn't say that…" Ritsu was smiling again. "I, uh, anyway… h-how are you two?"
"That's kind of hard to answer." Azusa told her. "I guess we're good. We have each other, and that's what really counts. Sometimes it gets boring though, but with Suffering gone, I feel a lot safer. Thanks, Ritsu-senpai."
"Yeah, thanks Ricchan!"
The twin-tailed girl lowered her voice and put a hand on Yui's shoulder. "She had it really bad for a while, Ritsu-senpai. You have no idea how much of a hero you are right now."
Yui grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of her head. "Yeah, it was pretty scary for a while. Then Azu-nyan came and I wasn't ever lonely again!"
Ritsu smiled at that, and felt insurmountable warmth at knowing these two had each other and were happy. She felt like asking Yui questions about Ui's death, or what happened during that time, but decided it was better not knowing. It was better to just enjoy the moment and not even think about the bad parts anymore. It felt so surreal, the happy ending before her. She honestly hadn't expected things to go so smoothly like they had. Well, they hadn't gone smoothly, and Ritsu had been pretty close to not making it. She didn't want to think about what would have happened if she hadn't figured out how to break from Suffering's spell. It had been close, too close, and she had to make sure not to take that for granted. And it wasn't like everything had turned out perfect. She had more or less ruined her relationship with her parents in the midst of all of this, and was probably going to have to go underground for a while to avoid them. That was a sad thought, but the ends justified the means.
She couldn't help but smile at how things had turned out. Ritsu closed her eyes and thought about how she had felt when Azusa's mother gave her and Mugi the news. She remembered that feeling of being lost, devastated, and confused. Then there was the horror of investigating the unknown, learning things she wished she hadn't, and finally confronting Ayumu and killing her. It had really been a crazy and horrifying road, but Ritsu could take solace in the ending.
Her eyes glanced at Mugi laying there, sleeping soundly, and still unclothed. She knew she was going to need Mugi's help to get through the aftermath of this. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep soundly at night, or get over some of the things she had seen and endured easily.
"She's going to wake up soon." Azusa pointed out, noticing Ritsu looking down at Mugi.
"That's a relief; I was kind of worried for her." The drummer sighed.
"I can't wait to talk to Mugi-chan!" Yui chirped.
Azusa stood up and shook her head. "No, we can't let her see us. Mugi-senpai barely knows what happened. Remember, she's been unconscious for most of this? And she can't even remember the woods in the first place."
"Oh yeah…" Yui pouted, and stood up with her.
Ritsu looked confused, "How do you know all this, Azusa? It feels like you know everything."
"Well, we weren't going to let you go through all of this without someone watching your back, right?" Azusa replied. "I just didn't want to reveal myself until it was really important to do so. I didn't want Yui-senpai to be here with you at all, but I couldn't say no."
"Why didn't you want her to be here?" Ritsu asked.
"Because we want you to live a normal life." She replied, with Yui nodding in agreement. "We thought if you didn't know about any of this, you'd be happier."
"That's right." Yui agreed.
Ritsu smiled at them. "Thanks. I appreciate you looking out for the two of us. Is this… Is this goodbye then?"
"'Fraid so." Yui pouted, and stepped away to pick something up out of the grass. It was Ritsu's leather jacket, and it was anyone's guess how it got there. "Every knight needs their armor, Ricchan! Oh yeah, Mugi-chan's cards and phone are in the pockets too."
The drummer was smiling so hard it felt like her cheeks were going to split (but in a good way this time) as Yui draped the jacket over her shoulders. She sniffled and said, "I love you two. Don't forget that, okay?"
"I love you too, Ricchan!" Yui bent down to hug her one last time.
"Bye-bye, Ritsu-senpai." Azusa gave her a wave and a smile. "We don't forget that, or you either. Don't worry."
Ritsu sat there and watched them walk away before Mugi could wake up. They disappeared into the trees beyond the edge of the meadow. That's what it was, a meadow blooming with the flowers of May. Around it, the trees were bright with green leaves like they should have been. The sky was blue, and the air was humid and warm, with the buzzing of cicadas humming over the drone of nearby society. Alone with Mugi now, Ritsu scooted over next to her. She stroked the back of Mugi's cheek with her hand and wondered how soon it would be before she woke up.
Screw you, Entity; I'm not a shitty friend. Maybe not the greatest friend for getting a girl like Mugi into a situation like this, but hey, I do my best. Plus, I'm going to make it up to her, you'll see.
She sat there for at least twenty minutes, just staring up at the sky and listening to the buzzing of cicadas. This was the May she remembered growing up here. It felt so right and peaceful with the woods the way they were supposed to be. The dead trees, leaves, and grass were things of another world, one that was now gone and hopefully gone for good. Ritsu wondered how many people she had inadvertently saved by removing the Entity of Suffering. That was a small comfort to think about. She didn't feel like a big hero though, since she hadn't fought the Entity in some kind of battle or anything. She had just thought about happy moments and moved Mugi and ended up making the Entity kill himself.
It was a bit ironic considering how many people he had driven into suicide.
"Rich…chan?" Mugi's sleepy voice whispered in confusion. Ritsu heard the sound of grass rustling as the blonde sat up and yawned.
"Morning, sleepyhead." Ritsu smiled at her.
"Where are we?" She looked around, blinking the last bits of sleep out of her eyes. "What happened? I could have sworn I heard Yui-chan and Azusa-chan's voices, or was I dreaming?"
"You were dreaming." Ritsu replied, and leaned over to drape her jacket over Mugi's shoulders. "Here, you might wanna cover up."
"Oh, thanks." Mugi yawned again and slipped on the jacket before buttoning it up. It only went to her waist, so Ritsu was going to have to loan her the skirt and walk around in her panties or something so they were at least both covered. "Ricchan, is this a dream?"
"No, sorry."
"Oh." Her eyes went downcast. "You rescued me, didn't you?"
"I did." She nodded. "What do you remember?"
"Ayumu took me into her car…" Mugi began, speaking barely above a whisper. "She had a gun and I was terrified. I tried calling you, and then she took the phone and ran it over as we were leaving. I was sad because it was a graduation present, and I thought I was never going to see you or my parents again. She drove us to the edge of the woods and… I don't remember what happened then. I remember having dreams where there were a lot of…"
"You don't have to tell me." Ritsu told her, and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
She continued anyway, "I dreamt that the world was falling apart, kind of. There were monsters everywhere, people were hurting, and I knew it was somehow my fault. That was the scariest part; I couldn't help anyone because they would just run away and call me a demon. It was horrible…"
"There there…" Ritsu hugged her and let the blonde cry on her shoulder. She was shaken up pretty badly and clung to the drummer for some time, quietly weeping. In the meantime, Ritsu wished she could have gotten more painful revenge on the Entity for making poor Tsumugi feel this way. She gently cradled the blonde, and felt this was almost ironic in a sense. Mugi had gotten off so much easier than Ritsu had in the long run. She hadn't been made to suffer debilitating pain, or had even known what was at stake. She had just been given frightening dreams and was held at gun point. Hell, Ritsu had been shot, stripped naked, and had to pee in a sink to avoid trouble. She was mad about what happened at Ayumu's house.
That didn't mean she would trade places with Mugi. No, it was just fine the way it was now.
Eventually, Mugi let go of her and sniffled. "Your shoulder was bleeding. S-She shot you!"
"It was just a scrape, don't worry." Ritsu put both her hands on Mugi's shoulders, trying to calm her down. "Trust me, that wasn't even close to the worst thing I had to… No, this isn't fair of me; I'm going to make you feel guilty. Just… don't ever run off like that again, okay? I can't keep chasing after you; it's bad for my health."
She had forced a smile, but her joke was lost on Mugi. The blonde sniffled and hugged Ritsu tight, "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry for asking you that stupid question! I'm sorry for almost ruining our friendship! I'm sorry for making you have to come and rescue me!"
"Hey, hey, don't cry again!" Ritsu did her best to sound like she wasn't in the least bit upset. She wasn't, but she had to reassure Mugi about this.
"What do we do now?" Mugi didn't let her go, and soon Ritsu fell backwards, pulling Mugi down with her and returning the hug. She did her best not to think about how Mugi was naked from the waist down.
"You get to borrow my skirt for one." Ritsu answered. "Then we find a hotel without getting busted for indecent exposure."
"What about your house?" Mugi asked, concern laden in her voice.
"That's a no-go. I… sort of mucked things up when dealing with Ayumu. I think my dad wants to skin me alive now…"
"Oh no. Don't tell this is because of-"
"It isn't." Ritsu stopped her. "I'm just saying we won't be able to go back there for a while. Your credit cards and stuff are in the pockets there. I'll pay for what I can to get us back to Tokyo, but I may need your help. Plus, I was thinking of treating you out to a nice evening in the big city too."
"That sounds lovely." Mugi swooned. "I promise I'll be more sensitive to the situation this time and stop being so clingy. I realize that was wrong of me, and then what I asked you…"
"Hey, you can be as touchy feely as you want next time… I mean, within reason of course. I don't want us getting thrown out of anywhere." Ritsu smiled as she stroked Mugi's soft hair. "Just, uh, kind of take it slow with me, okay? I'm new to this…"
"You're making it sound a lot more like a date." Mugi nervously giggled.
"Hey, dates are what girlfriends go on together, right?"
THE END
Author's Notes: First and foremost I want to thank everyone who took the time to read and review. As shallow as it sounds, the reviews were what motivated me to really work hard and finish this. Midway through writing the story, I started becoming overly critical, and thinking most of what I had was shit. The reassurance that it's not awful was much appreciated. My original plan was to write all ten chapters then release them at once, but I guess I needed feedback to keep me motivated. So once, thanks again to everyone who reviewed up to this point. Another thanks to my beta-reader throughout this, ProfessorRude. If you've seen his review for other stories, then you can imagine how his attitude towards much of this story was. Now here are some 'behind the scenes' things if you're at all interested:
The premise of the story was thought up after I realized I really liked the dynamic between Ritsu and Mugi in my previous story Afterdark Tea Time. I decided I wanted it to be a sequel to Feeding a Dream and Nightmare after listening to the song Escape of the Dove by The Fall of Every Season. The name 'All There Was' was taken from the lyrics where the line "Is this all there is?" is repeated several times. Originally it didn't have any meaning, but found its own as I was writing. The first two chapters were written under the premise that Mugi and Ritsu would come back and learn that Azusa had killed herself. I wanted to have them investigate and explore into the woods and give meaning to a lot of the confusing things in my other horror stories. The biggest thing I decided on though, was that I wanted a happy ending for once.
The original outline was going to have Ritsu as a full-fledged cop exploring this ruined town inhabited by cultists of the Entity of Suffering. That's where Mugi would be kidnapped and send Ritsu on her wild journey. There were a few major issues with this right of the bat. It bore too much resemblance to what I wrote before this. Just Ritsu going through scary places, blah blah blah, it's been done before by me. I think you can see in the last three chapters that I was trying to break away from the horror mold by having Ritsu be a confident bad ass trying to save her friend.
All in all I'm really happy with this story and hope you all liked it. Sadly, this marks the end of my horror stories. I've done them to death and am now moving onto bigger and better things.