-Oppai Loving High School Boy's Ramen-

If I have to call myself anything, I'd say I'm a regular guy. There's nothing really special about me that makes me different from the norm. I'll admit that I'm a bit more perverted than normal and that I'm slightly more intelligent than an average guy on the street but that's not saying much. I'm still comparing myself to the average, the normal, by saying that I'm a bit above them.

If the average was zero and a world changing individual was a ten, I'd be smack dab a two. No matter how you logically round that, I'd still be closer to average than anything special. People like Naruto, Dertaerg, Matsuri or Koneko, these are the ones who rounds up to the tens. They have potential; they have genuine uniqueness of their own.

I'll be the first to admit that I, Hyoudou Issei, am nothing special. I am what anyone my age can become, nothing more, and nothing less. That's why, when I see others having something I can't obtain, I would naturally become jealous. Just like everyone else, I am not above the emotions of envy.

That's why, as I'm perched on my neighbor's roof with Koneko by my side, I'm feeling the urge to put on Dert's ring and wreak havoc. I'm feeling many emotions right now, confusion, anger, jealousy, enviousness, and it was all Koneko can do to not let me loose. Being my trusty friend, she knows very well what I'm thinking right now and because she's such a trusty friend, she not allowing me to act on said thoughts.

"Issei, calm down! We're hiding for a reason!" There's a genuine amount of panic within Koneko's usually neutral voice. In any other occasion, I would pause in anything I'm doing and tease her for it; assuming the cause of that panic is tease-worthy. In this particular occasion however, I'm feeling the urge to throw the girl off of my back so that I can properly go berserk.

"Let go, Koneko-chan! I need to go throttle that bastard right now! Just a punch or two, I promise to calm down after that!" It wasn't meant to be however, that I can throw her off. Logically speaking, this situation where the middle school girl a head shorter than me is holding me down completely doesn't make sense. I am the one with the heavier mass and it should be me who has more leverage if we grapple. The white haired girl didn't agree; she continues to hold me down on to the roof's surface while I struggle with all my might.

"Dangerous."

Koneko, true to her nature, speaks in vague words with multiple meanings. I know her well enough to interpret her meaning though; it's dangerous if I go on a rampage here in this world that I don't belong to. If I was rationally thinking, I'd have to agree. Fortunately, my jealousy overrules common sense.

"How can I let this happen in my sight without doing anything? Has God abandoned me?! Is there no justice to this world?!"

I continue to struggle against the girl's iron grip while bemoaning my weakness. Then, as if by a miracle, Koneko flinches and pulls back. Her hold loosens and I, in my thrashing about, dislodge her from atop me. I manage a half crawling dash away from her before getting to my feet and making my way towards the target of my anger. In my haste and blinded by my jealousy, I forgot one key factor as I run forward; I'm on my neighbor's roof.

I take an angered step, expecting my foot to meet solid roofing, and instead met with empty air. I squawk aloud and lunge forward for my misstep. My eyes widen at how quickly my vision shifts towards the ground and how much it's immanently becoming closer. I stop a moment later and hang dangling in the air.

"I told you, dangerous."

Speaking with no little amount of ire in her voice, Koneko steadily pulls me up by the scruff of my jacket. She sets me on my shaky knees and crosses her arms. Glaring down at me with puffed cheeks, she taps her foot expectantly.

"…"

I understand what she's waiting for, now that jealousy and irrationality's all but abandoned me to my own. I bow my head under her glare and would've practically fallen into a dogeza if it wasn't for the roof's sloped surface.

"I'm sorry for not listening earlier and for being childish."

"...Apology accepted."

She readily forgives me when I said sorry but I still see a bit of huffiness in her stance. I sigh mentally and pull out the ace in the hole I bought earlier today. I pull out a cookie from the folds of my jacket, one that I had bought previously at the family restaurant we visited, and offer it respectfully to the white haired girl. It disappears from my hands in seconds; without me noticing it was gone until I heard her chewing on it.

"We should leave. Police are coming to investigate noise."

"Yeah."

I nodded with the girl's suggestion and allow her to carry me off the roof. Just like how we got on, Koneko effortlessly brings me along as she jumps roof to roof like an acrobat.

If a passerby were to watch the scene from beginning to end, they would confusedly say that what happened didn't make sense; from my fit of anger to Koneko carrying me off. If I was said passerby, I would completely agree. I would also then go into a fit of rage because of what I'll be able to see from the roof's vantage point; thus, causing the cycle to repeat.

What was it I saw that made me go into a fit of jealous rage? It was the image of every men's wishes and dreams, the picture of two beautiful girls joining a man in the bathroom to take a bath together! They were washing his back with their boobs! He was getting the image of their bare boobs for his eyes to feast on! He got to touch those glorious boobs with his hands!

By no means am I vain bastard who can't see the recognize the achievement of others. If it was a man who was like Matsuda or Motohama, I would cry out towards the heavens, push some passive-aggression on them and eventually wish them best. If it was a man like that handsome bastard Kiba, I would again cry out to the heavens, blame him for my girlfriend-less status, but accept that it's a part of life. But no, neither of these were the case.

The man looks nothing special, I might even call him normal. He seems somewhat dull and a bit more perverted than the average guy off the street. If I had to judge him by anything, I'd say he's a two out of ten with zero as a normal man and ten being a world changing individual. Overall, the man is a regular person. I'm sure I've made it clear by now, that enviable boob touching man was me all along, Hyoudou Issei!

There are few things in this world that I cannot stand and one of them includes lucky bastards who're like me having more girl-luck than me! In this scenario where the the person who's "like me" IS me, I'm honestly thrown into a fit of rage.

"We're in the clear."

Landing gracefully on her toes and bending down to her knees, Koneko slides me off her shoulder before standing up again. She shows no strain in her movement, which amazes me. She just jumped off the roof of a two story house with me as a sixty-kilogram luggage.

"...You saw that right? I wasn't hallucinating, right?"

Now that I'm rational and sane again, I begin to rethink on the scene I saw with a clear head. Were there any chances within this world of me being able to be in such a desirable situation as a that? I calculate that the chances are low, since he's me. No, wait, if he's me then shouldn't it be impossible? Even if I'm like Dert and have a ton of money, I'd still be unable to pull that off. Prostitutes don't take underage teens as customers.

"That wasn't a hallucination."

Koneko rebukes my thought process with that statement, sending jealousy on the loose again. My hand unconsciously digs into my pocket, where Dert's ring was located. Koneko's hand, or rather, her fist, is raise upwards in response. Her ring is already on her finger.

"Don't be rash."

"Alright, geez, I got it. I won't be stupid."

I consciously pull out my hand and put them up in the air as a gesture of surrender. The girl glares at me for a moment before nodding in appeasement. She then starts walking down the street.

"Still, this world must be pretty weird. For me to be in that kind of situation in broad daylight…"

"You still want to meet him?"

Koneko hums and asks me a vexing question. Do I want to meet that enviable me? An hour ago, when I didn't know any better, I said yes and we went to his house. It was only a morbid curiosity that told me to go. Now, with the knowledge I've obtained, do I still want to meet him?

"If I can punch him in the face and throttle the secrets to his success out of him, yes, I'd like to still meet him."

Now, it depends on the circumstances. If I were to meet my alternate self, there's no doubt that I would attempt to punch him for being so lucky when I, someone who's literally him, am not. Koneko hums in response and lightly dusts her knuckles. I automatically raise my hands up again. Her message cannot be any clearer.

"So meeting myself is out. You wanna go and meet yours, Koneko-chan?"

"…"

My white haired partner rubs her chin in contemplation. She bobs her head from side to side as she continues walking and, after a minute of consideration, she looks at me and nods. I pull out my phone and open up the yellow book that I used to find my house in this world.

"Did you live in an apartment or a house in our world? That'll narrow down the search by a lot."

While the yellow book loads, I walk up to a nearby bench and take a seat. Unknowingly, the two of us walked ourselves into the park near my house; halfway to Naruto's shop in our world. Koneko plops down next to me and leans over my shoulder to take a better look at my phone.

"Apartment complex seven in district twelve."

Koneko helpfully pokes at my phone to type in her address on. The result was not out of our expectation range. Just like how my family's name doesn't show up in this world if I type in the address of my world, Koneko's name doesn't show up for her address. Instead, it's rented out to a man neither of us have heard of.

"Well there goes that... It doesn't look like you live in this complex either."

Going down the list to see if she just happened to rent a different room, we become stump when we find that she's not listed anywhere in the apartment area. I huff a sigh and look at the girl. This case could be like mine where my parents of this world bought a similar house because of the choice and time of offer.

"Did you have any other options in mind when you picked this particular apartment? We could check those out to see if we get a hit."

"...Can't remember."

The white hair girl thinks seriously and then shakes her head after a minute. I slump down at the answer, that's to be expected. I don't even remember what I did last week for homework so I can't expect Koneko to remember her options for renting out rooms were months or years ago.

That brings up a problem though; now it's going to be many times harder to find the Koneko of this world. Finding a house under a certain name and finding a apartment room under a certain name are two completely different levels of difficulty.

Koneko slumps dejectedly on my shoulder and pouts. I can see the disappointment on her usually neutral face. Did she really want to meet her alternate that much? She opens her mouth and says,

"Let's do something else then."

"We can't give up that easily. Let's call Dert and Matsuri. They might know a better way of searching for you. They're both good with computers."

I refute Koneko's suggestion and close out of the yellow book function to pull up my calling list. I mentally flipped a coin on who to call and decides that Dert should be the one. Matsuri's probably busy keeping Naruto in check. The phone takes a few seconds to ring before a beep cuts it off. I pull away and look at it in confusion. The screen shows that I'm back on my contact list. Knowing that the middle aged man always picks up his phone and answers, no matter the situation, I take a guess that his phone's out of battery.

"...It's no good."

Koneko pulls down her phone the same time as me. Her screen has Matsuri's contact information pulled up. I read between the lines and conclude that she didn't have luck calling the silver haired girl.

"Course not! We can go look for information ourselves. It'll just take a bit longer than finding out where I live though."

I take a quick look at the large clock posted in the middle of the park, the one right on top of the water fountain, and see that it's a little over four in the evening.

"See? It's not even near diner time yet. We can still go look around for a couple of hours, then get some dinner afterwards. If we don't have any results, we'll try calling Naruto and Matsuri to help. Those two will probably be done touring around the town for ramen shops by then, right?"

I notice halfway through that I was beginning to babble about the obvious. I continue to do so because Koneko's taking those words at face value and is perking up again. She nods unquestionably to my suggestion and pumps her fist in anticipation. Huh, I guess she really wants to meet her alternate self in this world.

"So here's the plan, you go to the places you'd normally go to and scout around. Chances are good that you'll find yourself there. I'll go to the library and look her up, see if she has anything I can look for online on a stronger computer."

Unlike my phone that can only browse on one screen and slowly load multiple files at the pace of a snail, finding things on a large spectrum is much easier with a computer.

"We'll meet back at the family restaurant from before in… let's say, three hours?"

I look back at the clock and decide that three hours should be a good time. Koneko thinks so too because she looks like she's ready to run off.

"Alright then. Good luck."

"You too."

Like a free runner, Koneko bolts away. I look at her dust trail for a moment before turning to the way of the library. A small part of me wonders, now that Koneko's away, if I can go "meet" my alternate.

I toss the thought into a dark corner after realizing that small part was jealousy. Koneko's current request is more important and time consuming. I sigh.

"Multiple reviews complimenting her on services in numerous unspecified tasks, cameo appearances in certain manga and anime series, a part of an unofficial rap group's fan base, local champion to multiple boxing arenas in town, customer of the month many times over in many confectionery shops... the heck is the Koneko in this world doing?!"

As it turns out, finding out about the girl wasn't time-consuming at all. We probably didn't even need to meet the girl at all. Searching up the name Koneko Toujou, whether it be on my phone or on a computer, easily got me more than enough results to piece together what she's like. Just like the me of this world, it seems that this version of Koneko is also ludicrously successful in life so far.

When I compare the two of us to the two of them, I can't get over the feeling that we've lost somehow. My heart's crying in dejection. What's with this repertoire of known things about you! Are you an anime character who can do anything if you put your mind into it?! At this point, I'm kinda scared to look up the me in this world. Perhaps Koneko's "dangerous" statement was right. If her alternate version is this colorful, I might not survive a meeting with my own.

Having obtained the information needed, this world's Koneko's home address, I turn off the computer and go outside again. I look at the clock-post near the front of the library to see how much time I've wasted and it seems that only thirty minutes have passed since I've split up with my Koneko. I don't know if I should be feeling relieved or worried at how easily I got this world's Koneko's living address.

I pull out my phone and thumb my way to Koneko's number. Dialing the call button, I wait for three rings before she picks up her phone. There was a hesitant hello that comes to greet me from the other side.

"Yo, Koneko. I'm done with my job."

"...Already?"

I take note that she took a moment to ask me that. There's something like... dismay(?) in her voice. Did she find me actually doing my job surprising? Or maybe it was because I caught her at a bad time. Because I told her to visit the places she'd normally go to, it wouldn't be a coincidence if I'm calling her while she's eating right now. In fact, I'm almost certain that she is.

"Yeah, it was easy. How about you?"

"I'm still at work."

My ears strain to hear any incriminating sound of food being eaten or plastic bags of snacks being crinkled. I couldn't hear anything but I still doubtlessly know that it's there.

"Really? Then let me help you~."

"Unneeded."

Muahahaha? Have I stumble upon something greater than I had imagined? Her answer was too fast and too concise for there to not be anything teasable on the other side. My Naruto senses are ringing in a different way than usual. It's screaming chance! An opportunity has appeared before me. I can get back at her if I know what she's hiding!

"Come on, Koneko-chan~. Don't be like that~. I just want to help~. Just tell me where you are and I'll even bring you snacks~! How about cheesecake? They're really creamy and delicious, you know~."

"...Unneeded."

I can hear your hesitation, Koneko-chan. It sounds just like your stomach gurgling in hunger! I have you now~! You can't escape from my grasp!

...

It took me ten minutes and a promise of a cartful of snacks but I managed to get the location out of her mouth. A part of me, something that sounds a lot like my conscience and common sense, tells me that I'm being villainous; almost Naruto-like. I ignore it and go to the nearest bakery store with Koneko's location in my hand.

-Ramenyan's Ramen-

As unbelievable as it is, I really am in another world. As I walk down the familiar street, I gaze around in wonderment. Issei has mentioned before that the architecture of the everything here is eerily similar for a supposedly different world but that doesn't fully begin to describe it. The differences are much more than just changes in building and street designs.

The differences between this world and my world are both vexing and intriguing. It's vexing in the case that some of my favorite stores don't recognize me or have my favorites anymore. Inversely, it's intriguing in the case that there are shops I don't know of calling out to me and offering me new treats I've never tasted before; delicious new treats.

While turning into a shop I know, one that I occasionally visit to restock my snack storage, I see my partner jauntily walking around. Skipping happily down the street, Issei Hyoudou swings back and forth various bags of snacks and confectionery sweets.

I take a moment to tell apart which Issei this is, since I've never seen mine "skip happily". It's not an action that I would associate with my world's Issei. From the way he's dressed, I can only assume that he's mine and not this world's.

I curiously stare at the strange scene. Didn't we both agree earlier to find everything we can about this world's me? Why's he now skipping around with a load of food in his hands. I don't think he can eat all that even if he is very hungry. It would be one thing if it was me, since I'm a devil and I can metabolize my food faster, but Issei's a regular human. Counting the amount of meals we've eaten together, we have covered for breakfast, lunch and dinner. That's not even counting the food that he's eaten before so I doubt that hunger is the cause of him buying so much food.

I inquisitively leave the shop I'm in to follow after the brunette. I did not call out to him, however, and merely shadow after his footsteps. This leads me to seeing him visit three more bakeries and ending up with a cart of food to tow around.

Skipping with the cart of sweets and confectioneries, the brunette leaves the market district and goes to the apartment districts for some reason. It occurs to me again that I might actually be following this world's Issei instead of mine. After all, why would my Issei do any of this? It would make more sense if he were to go back to his house in this world and try to torture this world's Issei for girl-seducing techniques or whatever he calls it.

I channel a bit of nature energy into my system and quickly pull off the "Far Seeing Eye" technique. A moment of blurry vision and a brief peek confirms that my Issei is not at the library. He is, in fact, the one that's happily skipping along the road pushing a cart filled with food.

I mentally applauded myself for using the technique for a purpose that's not intended by Naruto when he taught me it. It's not like I could've just used my regular senjutsu senses to see if this was my Issei or not. I had to make sure. It's not like I'm a sore loser or anything because I spent so much time getting down that technique and went so far as to go another twenty minutes to test it in vain. No, I'm not sore at all.

I ease off the flow of nature energy and turn my attention back to the brunette as he rounds the street corner. He's slowly going to a specific district. I can tell by the way he's looking at something on his phone. I can't make it out very well from this distance, I can infer that it's a map of sort from the way he's mumbling to himself.

Still, I have no idea how my Issei got from going to the library to skipping here with a cart of food. I could just ask him but I don't want him to know that I've been here all along. It's one thing to see him goofing off but if he knows I'm following his footsteps, I'll never forgive myself. I pull out my phone instead and go to his name. I press call and put it up to my ear.

As the phone rings, I duck into a nearby alley. It's a spot that could hide me well enough so that the brunette would glance over me if he looks by but still allows me to see the teen for a while longer.

"Koneko-chan?"

Three rings were made before the other side picks up. I widen my eyes as my senses tell me conflicting stories. My ears hear the voice of Issei who's vocally asking me a question. My eyes see Issei continue to skip down the street; pushing a cart with one hand and holding his phone with the other AWAY from his ear.

"…Issei?"

I hesitantly return my receiver's question with another question.

"Yeah, it's me. Is something wrong, Koneko-chan?"

I confirm that my senses are not tricking me. The voice on the other side was clearly saying things that the Issei I'm seeing was not. Still, I knows that this is Issei's voice so I can only make the logical leap. There's two Issei coexisting right now, the Issei in front of me is mine so, logically, that means that the Issei I'm speaking to is the other.

"Sorry, I called the wrong person."

"Wha? Konek-"

I did the only thing that was appropriate for the situation and cut off the call. Following that, I block off Issei's number for the moment and run out of the alley. Assuming that I called this phone number and didn't meet my Issei, I would've made the mistake of contacting the wrong Issei without realizing my error. I have to make sure that my Issei isn't doing just that. I run up to the brunette and tap him from behind on his back.

"Issei."

"Koneko-chan?!"

Issei startles in response and I see him almost jump in place. He clutches his phone to his chest while stopping the cart from going further. The wheels clatter against the road in a cacophony of chaotic sounds that are probably not that different from how his heart must be feeling.

"When did you get here?!"

"Not important. Did you call me?"

I brush away Issei's question and pull up my phone to his face. The boy looks confusedly between it and me. I huff and point specifically towards a name in my list of recent calls, Issei's name. I then pull my finger over to the time that the call was made; only a scant minute ago.

"Wait… what?"

Issei stares at my screen, then down to me and then his phone. He pulls up his own contact list, go to the list of recent calls and check up my name. He flips the screen to my direction for me to see. As I expected, sitting at the top of his recent call list is my name. The time since we supposedly last contacted was twenty minutes ago.

"Our numbers calls our alternates of this world."

I helpfully state my findings so that Issei can catch on. He stares at me for a moment before slapping his forehead.

"Of course it does. Law of Randomness be damned when we're the same person. We obviously have to have the same numbers such as birth date, phone number and even ids so that we can be parallels to each others. If that's the case, then..."

Issei starts to mumble some incoherent things again. I lightly poke at his ribs to regather his fading attention span. He blinks in surprise and looks down to me. There's a spark of something in his eyes, like he remembers something when he sees me.

"Oh yeah, I found out where you are."

Of course you did, I'm right here.

"For some reason, you're at this apartment complex doing something."

Issei taps a few buttons on his phone to return the screen to what he was on before. Now that I'm getting a better look, I see it as the GPS function of his phone. The address inputted seems familiar but I can't spot out where I've seen it.

"A job?"

"Might've been. She said she was still busy with something when I called her."

Issei nods in confirmation to what I thought. It seems like my version in this world is working with a contractee right now. I wonder if it is anyone I know.

I look at his phone again and then at the nearby signpost. The address is nearby, it seems. I grab him by his sleeve and tug him along.

"Let's go."

"Ah, sure. Wait up."

With one arm being occupied by my tugging, Issei tries and halfway succeeds to getting the cart of food to follow him. I helped by removing some of the excess weight. I earn a tepid glare from him. The piece of cake I got tastes delicious.

"So this is what you Occult Club members do in your free time?"

"...It's part of the job. I'll do anything in my power to get it done."

"I'm sure it is, Ramenyan-chan."

Lounged on yet another rooftop for the second time of today, Issei and I stalk my alternate with a pair of binoculars in hands. Issei's comments are made so that I'll get riled up, I can tell. He wants to entice me to take out righteous anger for the injustice that I'm seeing being put on the image of my person. He's barking up the wrong tree; trying to challenge a devil in a game of temptation.

Through the rims of my binoculars, I can see my alternate posing in bizarre poses while dressed in clothing that would fit only in the dreams of the most drugged up anime lovers. If it was a few months ago, I would stare at the strange scene with uncertainty and indignation.

Now, after Naruto sold me, Dert and Issei off to the glorious world of internet moviedom as a brand name for his ramen, I could hardly bat an eye. I've heard of stranger requests from more unusual people, most of whom I gladly(?) call my customers. I, of course, refused the far too outlandish ones though.

"So, how much do I have to pay to get you to join me in my quest to obtain the truth of this universe from my alternate?"

Dramatically pulling out a piece of paper from his pant's pocket, Issei flares it in front of me. I recognize it by the peculiar coloring as the handout advertisements for the Occult Research Club which I'm a tentative member of (because of my grade level).

I raise an eyebrow at the question and at the appearance of the piece of paper. To my knowledge, nobody in the group, not even Naruto, has come across one of those handouts yet. For Issei to have one hidden away without my knowledge is a bit surprising. Taking a few seconds of thought, I seriously give him my price.

"One year's worth of all you can eat sweets, delivered to me at any time I want, wherever I am."

Okay, so it's not really that serious. Then again, the situation isn't that serious either. If it was solemn and followed the proper procedure of where I am summoned by his need for the wish to be granted, I would have given him a better response. Seeing as that's not what happened, this is my answer.

"…I'll just save this for another time then."

Issei actually thought about the deal critically and decides against the cons. I roll my eyes at him, showing outward exasperation while being a little saddened on the inside. If he had negotiated, I would've lowered the fee a bit and still help out with his wish; in a less violent manner than what he probably intends though. I'm not so much of a glutton that I'd forsake a friend in need (Issei doesn't need it that much though; it's more like a dim-witted want).

"So, any explanations for that?"

After he's stowed away the piece of paper, he points back to the building where my alternate self is doing strange poses. I take another look with my binoculars to see who this customer is.

"...Murosaki-san, twenty-seven years old, has a bachelor's degree in the majors of history, science and art. "A budding artist who got tired of society's shit," or so he calls himself. He's a Neet who's got a side-job as a manga artist. You've met him before."

Seeing a familiar face, I recall key bits of my client's personal information and decides to share the interesting parts of it with Issei. I remember the two of them meeting weeks ago, when we were at a cafe. Murosaki-san helped Issei out by explaining some difficult to understand questions in his homework.

"Really?"

Issei takes another peek into the room as well and stares for a long minute. He puts down his binocular after a moment with a perplexed face.

"I can't remember..."

He spends some time mauling over the man's face but doesn't remember in the end. I don't blame him, Murosaki-san does have a forgettable face. I instead move my binoculars back to my alternate self, and look at her.

Older but still the same as me, I think that's the best way to describe her. Height-wise, she didn't seem to have grown all that much apart from me. Her neutral expression is the same as mine. Even her demonic powers, from what I can sense, isn't too different from me.

"-wait. Can't I just ask her for help instead?"

While I'm busy taking a look at my alternate, Issei seems to have gone from pondering about Murosaki to having an epiphany about something else altogether. I blanked out his near incoherent mumblings out of habit so I only manage to hear the last few bits. I look at Issei to see him pull out my contract paper again.

"Hey, Koneko, how exactly does making a contract with you work?"

Looking sideways at me with his face still facing another direction, Issei pulls out the contract again and asks me this. I reraise my eyebrow of questioning.

"Well, I was thinking that we can't just continue to stalk her like this. It'd be weird to meet her with how you look too so we're stuck watching from afar. But, if I hire her to do a minor job, I could get closer to her and get to know her. I could ask her questions which would seem weird but can be a part of the "job"."

Issei begins to go into a long explanation of his plans for me and I catch on to his scheme halfway through. The boy, having a one tracked mind, was easily predicted the moment his gaze shifts away from mine. He still wants to go after his alternate. I can tell because he blatantly mentions it earlier.

"Issei, no."

The teen deflates at my flat rejection. His shoulder droops a bit but only slightly. I can see his resilience grow with every failed attempts.

Still, I only said no to what was implied with his scheme. Everything else on the surface sounds appealing enough for me to allow. The idea of him chatting information from my alternate is novel, if nothing else and I only really need to know one thing from her. It's just... the idea is missing something.

"...I'll tell you how to make a contract, for a proper purpose, if you disguise yourself."

Issei tilts his head at my request. Now, he's the one to look at me with a questioning gaze. It takes a moment before he realizes what I meant.

"...Huh, I guess we could have known each other in this world as well huh? We do go to the same school."

He mutters his thoughts and nods in agreement to my request. Ah, he didn't understand my meaning. Though it what he says does make sense, it's not what what I actually meant.

I was only planning on dressing him up like a clown so that he wouldn't run off to do something stupid while I can't hold him back. I'm very worried that he's still stuck on the idea of beating up his alternate so that he can "learn of the unfathomable truth of this universe".

If he has a contract with my alternate, I won't be able to freely show myself so he'll have free rein of the situation. A disguise, in that case, will act as the binding agent to keep him from doing as his idiocy demands.

"But what disguise are we going to use?"

When Issei asks me this, I try to remember any costume shops I can think of. None comes to mind. Bewilderingly, though I've dressed up in all kinds of bizarre fashions, I've never once had to be the one to procure the clothing. They have all been handed out for me to wear.

"...I don't know."

Troubled, I answer the brunette with honesty. The teen makes an "ehhh?" sound when I say this. I glare at him. What? Did he expect me to be able to pull out a shop off of the top of my head? Maybe if it was a ramen store but costume shop? No.

BANG

A loud noise rings out; the sound of metal hitting a hard wall. I turn to the clamor and narrow my eyes towards whoever it was.

"Don't worry. I heard everything and I got you covered. Matsuri, get the make-up kit."

"Yes, Naruto-sama."

Naruto walks through the doorway, holding six bulky bags between his two hands. Matsuri follows closely after holding her purse in one hand while the other digs inside for the content. Dert teeters along a second after the silver haired girl with a pot of coffee in one hand and his coffee cup in his other. He helpfully uses his foot to close the door that was unhinged by Naruto.

Understanding what Naruto meant, I usefully stick out one of my legs. Issei, who also understood what the blonde meant, tries to get up and run to the other exit. He trips on my outstretch leg.

"Traitor!"

Issei squawks indignantly when he falls prey to my trap. He falls straight into the caress of Naruto's outstretched arms; the blonde had set his six bags aside a second ago.

"So Ryoudou Seiko makes her second appearance in another world, huh? Not a bad setting if I have to say so myself."

The brunette teen screams a blood curling scream as Naruto drag him back to the stairway. The ominous click of the door closing syncs eerily with Issei's cry cutting off. I give the brunette a small prayer before diving into the six bags Naruto left behind.

As expected, the majority of the bags that Naruto brought, four of them, were filled to the brim with ramen from different places; some were familiar, some not. Matsuri pulls out an intricate tea set and matching herb box from the other two. Dert... he pours coffee from the pot into the cup before continuing to sip away steadily at the content.

With Matsuri's permission, I dig into one of the many bowls of ramen. I, in turn, give her permission to go through Issei's pile of sweets for something to go with her tea. Dert merely walks over to the edge and casually stalks alternate me with Issei's forgotten binocular.

After a few minutes, enough time for Matsuri to conveniently finish making and start serving her tea, Naruto walks out from behind the metal door. He drags a lifelessly walking Issei behind him.

I give the brunette's 'Ryuudou Seiko' disguise a once over and admit to myself that, even if Naruto is sketchier than a candy salesman in a a dark alleyway, the blonde knew his ways around a make-up tool kit. Definitely more than my own skills anyways.

Halfway to us, Naruto allows Issei to go free while he makes his way to me (or more specifically, his ramen). Issei aimlessly walks around for a bit before Matsuri sits him next to her. She gives him a warm cup of tea to drink and begins to make small talk with him. Issei didn't respond much or show any signs of hearing her at all. He just dully raises his cup to his mouth every few seconds.

"So, what kind of contract is Issei going to make with this world's Koneko?"

Naruto grabs a bowl of ramen and plops down next to me to talk. I move my eyes from Issei to the blonde. Sitting next to him, I smell the faint scent of sweat and smoke. Did he run through a burning building on the way here?

"...Don't know."

To his question, I shrug indifferently to show that I had nothing in mind. Like Issei earlier, Naruto makes an "ehhh?" sound when I said the truth. I glare at him.

What, did he think I'd have a plan ready without thinking about it? I only want to ask a few questions, at most, to my alternate. Heck, I'm happy if only the important one I really want to ask is answered. Forethought didn't go through when I impulsively wanted to meet my alternate self a few hours ago.

"Well, we better start brainstorming then. Naruto-san, why don't you start us off?"

I turn to Dert. He walks over to us and takes a seat in front of me and Naruto. He sets his pot of coffee and coffee cup on his lap to pull out a pen and notebook from his suit's pocket.

"... "I wish to be stronger" is the only one I can think of."

"Really? I would have thought something on the line of, "please get me a date.""

"Amsuing but no. I'm not out to torture Issei and I'm still miffed that we never finished our quest to becoming the girliest girls."

"I don't see how becoming stronger correlates to anything like that."

"You'll only understand once you see Mil-tan."

Wandering off into their own conversation, Naruto and Dert discusses what Issei should wish for when he contracts my alternate. I glance over to the brunette to see that he's regained some semblance of being alive as he's ranting about the injustice that Naruto and I are putting him through. I silently move over to his side and listen in.

After a minute of hearing his tirade, I push myself into the one-sided conversation by stating that I need to teach him how to make a contract. His reactionary jump is both comical and delightfully funny. I curse Naruto and, to an extent, Akeno. Surely, this is their fault that I'm like this.

On a side note, the second bowl of ramen is notably delicious. I hope that Naruto got the recipe.

-Oppai Loving High School Boy's Second Bowl of Ramen-

I look at the mirror and marvel at the image that's reflected on it. There's a girl in the reflection who has the likeness of a wallflower. She has large, brown eyes being covered with a thick pair of glasses. Her fringes are long, covering almost all of her forehead and some of her eyebrows. The rest of her hair, an unruly mess sticking out every way possible, is long and partially tidied because it's in a lengthy braid. She has a modest chest, is wearing a thick, pink sweater and has a faraway gaze to her eyes.

In the mirror reflects the image of Ryuudou Seiko; me. I shudder, watching the girl in the mirror do the same. Her shoulders tremble and her lips pout. This is a strangely surreal sight. I've never actually seen what my crossdressing form looked like before so now that I'm having a good eyeful, I can't bring myself to hate it.

Sure, I very much hate the person who forced me into this get-up, Naruto. The get-up itself, however, is a different story. It's one thing to see Naruto dress up and completely personify himself as a girl. He does it so often that it's become a regular thing. It's another thing altogether when I do it. Not intending to complement Naruto's handiwork nor fuel my narcissism, I have to admit that the Ryuudou Seiko disguise looks good; so much so that I can't bring myself to hate it.

I sigh aloud, raise up my glasses up to my forehead, turn on the communal bathroom's sink and splash some water on my face. After three sloshes, I turn off the sink and wipe away the remaining stray droplets of water. I pull down my glasses to look at the mirror again. Ryuudou Seiko looks back with a melancholic expression that well defines how I feel.

"Target K2 has entered the shop's interior. Please start your approach in one minute, Issei-kun. If anything about the mission goes awry, do not hesitate to call for our help. I will be nearby."

Coming from nowhere, Matsuri's disembodied voice enters my ears. I hear her clearly, as if she was standing next to me. There was no echo, reverberation or ring to it as would be normal if I were to wear a headphone. I poke at my glasses' rim, the source of the voice, and marvel. It's one of the things that Dert gave me for the mission; an all utility pair of glasses. Is there anything that this man doesn't have?

"Yeah, got it."

I tap an indentation in the glasses and whisper back an answer to the silver-haired girl. In the left glass piece, a transparent timer pops up, counting down from sixty seconds. I take a step towards the bathroom door and linger there, waiting for the time to go down so I can exit.

"The Mission" as everyone in the group is calling it, is a convoluted plan made mostly by Naruto and Dert with inklings of adjustments from Matsuri, Koneko and I. The first and only proper step in the plan is for me to go up to this world's Koneko and ask her to make a contract with me, simple as that. Afterwards is very much loosely based on our response interaction. Naruto, Koneko and Dert are concealing themselves somewhere, eavesdropping on my glasses' radio channel and are ready to drop me appropriate replies at any point in time. Matsuri is in the background, keeping a watchful eye on me in case I get over my head.

The wish that we've decided on making is, "please help me get my senpai to notice me". Cliche, well used and the epitome of all high school girls' love trouble, the glorious, "Notice me senpai" wish appears in another world as my mission. According to Naruto, girls talk most when they talk of love so taking that idea, Dert went nuts with it.

While everyone was spending an hour to flesh out the mission, Dert did quick visits to certain government offices to do something else. By the time we were done, the middle aged, coffee addicted man managed to build an embellished history for the non-existent girl me. He made Ryuudou Seiko a legitimate citizen of Japan and, more importantly, an actual person who exists in this world as far as paperwork history is concerned.

Ryuudou Seiko: sixteen, student of Kuoh Academy high school's division, only girl in a family of three including her single dad and a brother, maiden in love, 20/30 vision, 5'8 height, hobbies of reading novels and studying, introvert, honor student, wants to be a romance writer in the future, has won a handful of competitions from multiple writing programs.

These are some of the nonsense that Dert threw together in the making of my background. I honestly want to say that he's overdoing it but the fact that he also bought a house earlier to fill out the living registries speaks for itself. To a lesser extent, he and Naruto also now have identities as my "relatives" as well, but, according to him, it's less fleshed out.

Dert, please do something actually productive with your riches, please.

The glasses' timer runs down to zero and it vibrates for a second to inform me. I take a deep breath, open the door and walk out. A small map replaces the timer on my glasses. There's a red x mark on the map, the location of this world's Koneko.

The shop that I am in isn't small and the space between us is not exactly short either but, I have no trouble seeing my target. Though she's short, her white head of hair is noticeable just about anywhere she goes. Nervously, I walk up to her. My heart thumps in my chest and my palms slightly dampens.

Getting closer and closer, I see that this Koneko is honestly too much like my Koneko. I give a quick prayer to anyone listening, to pray that this Koneko doesn't have the uncanny sense to spot out Naruto's prank. God help me if she does, I'll be outed as a guy in public and that's something I don't think my pride can take; especially not after that hospital accident with Naruto the last time I dressed up.

When I got into talking distance with this world's Koneko, my eyes spot Matsuri walking by. She seems to be indifferently looking at an item on sale. Her eyes flicker towards mine, calmly reassuring me, before she moves on. I gulp and open my mouth.

"E-excuse me, miss, can I ask you something?"

Though I didn't disguise my voice, a feminine tone speaks the words I intoned; as Dert had advertised to be one of the glasses' many functions. A good sign seeing as my dignity as a man is riding on this.

This world's Koneko turns to me. Her eyebrow is arched upwards in a questioning manner. I inwardly gulp. I had spied on her previously with my Koneko but being up close to her is giving me a strange sense of anxiousness in my stomach.

"Are y-you apart of the Occult Research Club?"

Naruto's voice is soothingly telling me what to say in the background but in my nervousness, I only heard half of what was said. The amount processed was even lower. What I did manage to get though, is that I should show her the contract paper. I fidget my hand in my skirt's right pocket and flourish the crumbled piece of paper to her. Eyes widening fractionally in understanding, she nods to my question.

"...I am. Do you need something?"

"Y-yes, a wish."

I bob my head when she returns my question with a question in reply. In my ears, I hear both Naruto and Dert chanting the wish. They seem to have realize that I can't process complicated instructions with my current level of nervousness. It would be infinitely more helpful, though, if they were chanting the same thing. I take a minute to think over the the two's wishes and combine them to make it sound better. This Koneko looks at me strangely before looking around. She nods to herself after a moment before walking away.

"Follow."

She looks me in my eyes and gestures for me to follow her. I scuttle along after the girl. Taking a deep breath and sighing aloud, I thank whoever was listening for the fact that this Koneko didn't notice my crossdressing. I inwardly pray that it keeps up.