Never Will Be
Disclaimer: I was astounded by how much love Never Was had received on deviantart, as evidenced by the artwork done by Lecidre; two pieces of work entitled Dream of a Bright Tomorrow and Farewell. I'll admit, I had a sequel planned for the longest time, but never had a chance to actually write it. But because so many asked me for it, I was persuaded to do so. LOL. Also, listen to the song, "Love the Way You Lie Part 2" by Rihanna and Eminem after reading this. You'll see how it ties well.
"The strongest have their moments of fatigue"
-Friedrich Nietzsche
"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies."
-Pietro Aretino
By: VampireQueenAkasha
"Having one eye makes you see the world in unusual ways, Shockwave..."
-Overlord, Last Stand of the Wreckers
End of Sanctuary
New Lucifer
It was a windy day.
Shockwave stood, watching the sky with Red Alert beside him.
"I cannot stay here," he told her, his voice almost inaudible. When she didn't respond to his words, he looked down at her. "Did you hear me?" When she barely nodded, he continued, "I have to return to my duties. It's what matters. You knew it would come to this"
Red Alert shook her head when he took a step forward and she grabbed his hand. "Please, you don't have to!" she insisted, "This war can be avoided completely. We can stay here together. Just you, me-Primus even Hot Shot."
Shockwave took a deep inhale and looked down at her. His voice was low and filled with a strange sort of weariness, as if it took him a great deal of energy to even speak. "No. You were right about what I am, Red Alert," he murmured, "There is nothing for a Decepticon but a horrible end. But that is what I know and that is what it must be."
She shook her head. "No. That's not true and you know it!"
For the moment, the two stared at one another in silence. Shockwave looked down at the hand holding his and how different it was. Two bizarre pieces coming together and yet somehow fitting despite all of their differences. The idea did seem very tempting at first. He stared down at her before looking at the ground, deep in thought before he looked up. His words carried frustration this time and a glimmer of bitterness.
"I can't." he said, turning.
Jhiaxus watched silently the jagged violet shape of the Decepticon warship drop into the field. Megatron appeared shortly afterwards with Lugnut and Blitzwing behind him. He looked momentarily surprised to see the older Decepticon standing before him.
"So it's true what Shockwave has told me," Megatron said, "The legendary Jhiaxus still lives."
Jhiaxus nodded his head. "In some form."
Megatron pressed his hand to his own chest and gave a small bow. It surprised the others to see Megatron, Leader of the Decepticons bow to anyone, regardless of who or what they were. "Truly, it is an honor to meet you at last."
Jhiaxus felt somewhat pleased by Megatron's courtesy, but he knew that it would never be placed upon another save for a Decepticon only. He took a deep inhale and gestured behind him; Shockwave was approaching and dropped to one knee before Megatron.
"Shockwave, you have arrived unharmed?" Megatron said.
"Indeed, Great One," Shockwave told him, lifting his optic slightly. "I am prepared to take my place at your side once more."
Hot Shot and Red Alert looked at each other; Red Alert looked tormented. She took a wary step forward, but Jhiaxus thrust his hand out in front of her to stop her from doing something foolish. It didn't matter because Lugnut had caught the move and gave a deep, heavy growl, raising his massive hands.
"Autobots!" he spat.
Jhiaxus raised his sword at Lugnut's vital Energon lines. "I would not take another step if I were you, Lugnut," he warned.
Megatron seemed more amused by the sight than troubled. He tilted his head, yet made no move forward. "Interesting," he said, looking at Jhiaxus, "You are truly the mighty Jhiaxus as the legends speak of. I suppose the rumors regarding your fall are true after all. Have you lost the taste for battle as they say?"
"This is my planet, Megatron," Jhiaxus warned, "And everything and everyone in it."
"The legends speak of the Great White Lord Jhiaxus who once dominated many stars and galaxies," Megatron said, with a small chuckle, "You are said to be the oldest and most powerful Decepticon to still live. But what are you now?"
Shockwave rose up, attempting to divert attention away from Jhiaxus and the two Autobots. "The Elite Guard will no doubt be here shortly, my lord," he told him, "We should leave before they arrive."
Megatron turned his attention to Red Alert. "What use have you for an Autobot, Shockwave?" he asked.
"She was my slave," Shockwave assured him, "Nothing more."
"Then kill her and the other and we can be going," Megatron ordered, turning. He gestured to Blitzwing. "I've taken the liberty of returning your cannon to you, my most loyal servant."
Blitzwing approached Shockwave and held out the massive cannon to him. The Decepticon took it and attached it back onto his arm. Once he felt certain that it was properly placed there, he turned his attention to Red Alert and raised his cannon at her head. Hot Shot gave an angry shout and attempted to lung, but Jhiaxus grabbed his arms to stop him. Hot Shot furiously thrashed about, trying to be free and shrieking at Shockwave.
"I knew it!" he spat, "A traitor all the way!" He glared back at Jhiaxus. "And you're in on it too, huh? All you Decepticons can rot in Pit!"
"I can assure you that I am not." Jhiaxus argued.
Shockwave ignored Hot Shot and held the cannon in Red Alert's face. She stood calmly, but her gaze was filled with intense pain. A sorrowful smile touched her lips and she barely spoke above a whisper, but enough for Shockwave to hear.
"I know you don't have a choice," she whispered, "It's all right."
Shockwave moved a step closer to her. Jhiaxus and Hot Shot watched, mortified by the possibility that he would take her life, even after what she had done for him.
"Kill her, already." Megatron growled.
Shockwave looked back at him. "My liege, she is nothing to me. Certainly my ammunition could be put to better use."
"Just the same, I'd like you to kill her." Megatron ordered.
Shockwave looked down at Red Alert and slowly started to power up his weapon. She squeezed her optics shut tight and turned her head, anticipating brutal death. After a long moment, the weapon powered down. Hot Shot and Jhiaxus both looked stunned and Red Alert very carefully opened her optics. Shockwave was lowering his weapon and the other Decepticons were clearly stunned by this movement.
"What are you doing?" Megatron snapped.
Shockwave turned to him. "My liege, if I may?"
Megatron offered no argument, but nodded his head with a dark look clouding his features.
"There is an Autobot who would dearly miss this one," Shockwave explained, "The one called Rodimus Prime. We can taken them with us and use them to perhaps...trade for two of our own. I am certain they would want their two favorites back."
Megatron smiled. "Ahh, what an interesting idea you present, Shockwave."
Jhiaxus was staring at Shockwave suspiciously for a long time until he began to understand what the bot was planning and nodded his head slightly.
"Done." he said.
Hot Shot looked shocked and shook his head. "No! Not done!"
Megatron gestured with one hand. "Take them."
Lugnut moved to grab Hot Shot and Blitzwing seized Red Alert. They dragged them on board the warship and left Jhiaxus standing there, watching the scene with pain and anger. Shockwave was the last on board the ship before he looked back at his old teacher with a final glance. Jhiaxus shook his head with disappointment and turned away, showing his back to the other Decepticon in a display of clear shame. Shockwave didn't take any of it to spark. After all...
...he was just an old fool.
O
Blitzwing walked through the corridors and met up with Shockwave.
"How are the prisoners?" Shockwave asked.
Blitzwing tsked. "The one called Red Alert was getting rather...bitey," he said, "I had to gag and cover her optics." Then, his face changed into that maniacal mask. "Whooo! She's quite an animal, no?" He let out a wild laugh and walked away.
Shockwave watched him go with dismay before stepping into Red Alert's cell. Sure enough, she was bound with her arms behind her back to the wall and her mouth and optics covered. He sighed and stepped up. This caused Red Alert's head to lift and she struggled, furiously unleashing a barrage of insults behind the gag. Shockwave shook his head at the pitiful sight, but then he took a step forward again.
"Red Alert, it's me." he said.
The insults stopped and a curious murmur escaped her that he could almost translate into his name.
"We are taking you to Cybertron to exchange you and Hot Shot for Decepticon Intel officers," Shockwave explained.
Red Alert murmured in confusion.
"You're going to be home very soon." Shockwave assured her. He didn't sound too thrilled with the idea; his voice was filled with regret.
Red Alert shook her head pleadingly, making equal sounds behind the gag. Shockwave sighed heavily. "It'll be okay, I promise," he told her, his voice gentle this time, "You'll be home and safe, out of harms way. It's the only best thing for you."
She started to beg him behind the gag.
"It's the right thing for you, Red Alert," Shockwave continued, "That life is the only one for you, not the life of a Decepticon. And you have friends who will no doubt miss you. Your life is perfect as it is without me."
She made a defeated sound and hung her head. From beneath the blindfold, silvery Energon tears trickled down her face.
Shockwave stood silent as he watched her before he slowly reached up with one claw and brushed them away.
"You'll be okay." he promised.
Red Alert shook her head weakly when she heard him leave the cell.
No, I won't...
O
The Elite Guard and Megatron stood face-to-face among the empty Space Bridge Nexus. Hot Shot and Red Alert were held tight by Lugnut and Shockwave. Rodimus looked furious to see Red Alert still bound and gagged. Sentinel Prime was holding one of the Decepticon officers in his arms with ease and Rodimus the other. They were still cuffed, so they could not easily make any attempts to behave foolishly.
"Send them over!" Rodimus demanded.
Megatron smirked. "You send ours over first!"
"No!"
Megatron made a mocking, hurt face at the Autobot's words. "Aww, don't trust me?" No response came from the two Autobots and Megatron chuckled. "Smart Autobots." He gestured to Shockwave and Lugnut. "Send them over."
"Yes, Glorious One," Lugnut said.
He shoved Hot Shot across the space between the two factions and the little Autobot yelped, falling flat on his face with an angry curse. Shockwave gave Red Alert a push, but she refused to move, planting her feet firmly down onto the ground. He hissed sharply with anger and a hint of anguish and leaned his head forward, enough to where it would not look too suspicious for his leader and for the Elite Guard standing there.
"Red Alert, don't do this," he whispered fiercely, "You know it's for the best. Now go."
He gave her a harder push that almost knocked her over and she made a sorrowful sound; she stepped in the direction of Rodimus' voice. He caught her in his arms and she immediately tensed. Despite being with Shockwave, Rodimus' touch felt so foreign and strange now. She hoped that he would take off the blindfold and her cuffs so that she could at least take a final look at Shockwave before she could not see him anymore.
She didn't have that blessing because the Decepticons were already leaving with their comrades in tow. She could hear the sound of their ship roaring to life and feel the intense wind of the engines blasting hot air down onto them.
It finally became too much and she dropped to her knees, breaking down behind the blindfold. Once the first hiccucp of despair left her, that was it. Fortunately, the gag muffled most of her sobs and the blindfold soaked up most of her tears. Rodimus bent down to her.
"Red Alert, what's wrong?" he exclaimed, "Are you hurt?"
Only on the inside...
Sentinel sighed impatiently. "Let's get them to the medical bay. We have work to do."
O
Red Alert was silent.
Hook performed a scan of her vitals and Rodimus watched her with concern. She had stopped crying by now; her face was still soaked with Energon tears and looked practically emotionless, staring at the floor emptily with no sign of joy, pain or rather anything. Hook was also somewhat concerned about her condition as well, so he performed various scans to make sure he had no missed a single thing. Her vitals looked excellent.
"Well, she's in great shape minus the damaged she took from the Ravage units, but those can heal," he told Rodimus, "Nothing's wrong with her as far as I can attest. But even so, that still doesn't really explain why she's been quiet."
"She's been this way since we picked them up." Rodimus argued.
"I can't scan emotions, Rodimus Prime," Hook snapped, as if his words insulted him.
Rodimus nodded and gave Hook an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry," he said, "Let me talk to her."
Hook shrugged his shoulders. "Well, do that then because she won't be fit for work any time soon."
Rodimus watched as Hook disappeared from the medical lab and he turned his attention to Red Alert. "Okay, there are many things that I am used to by now, but the way you've been acting lately..." he began. He shook his head, realizing that he may have started off a bit negative before continuing somewhat more gently. "Red Alert, I can only attribute this to some sort of Decepticon trick, so I am going to go easy on you." No response and Rodimus leaned forward, his optics filled with worry. "Did he hurt you?"
She shook her head.
"Red Alert, you have to talk to me," Rodimus begged, "How am I supposed to help you if you don't say anything?"
She met his worried gaze and finally relented with a tired smile. "I'm just a little tired from the trip, that's all," she said, quietly, "I think I need some rest."
Rodimus looked relieved to hear her finally speaking. "Okay, sure. No problem!" he replied, turning. "If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to contact me."
She smiled weakly and nodded. She did feel somewhat bad for brushing him off too easily. "Thank you."
Rodimus didn't linger for too long and abandoned the medical bay to give her some time alone. It was just as well because as soon as she was certain that he was out of audio-shot, she covered her face in one hand and started to cry.
Meanwhile, on board the Decepticon warship, Shockwave was silently standing over his work station table, arms placed over it. He stared silently down at it, just letting his thoughts wander in places he hoped would just end. No matter what he did, no matter what he willed, his mind went to the smiling, happy Autobot who's optics always lit up when she had seen him. At first, he never noticed it before but now that he thought of it, it was so obvious.
His claws tightened on the table, digging grooves into it.
While he was alone in his lab, Megatron looked back at Blitzwing. "Summon Shockwave to the control room," he ordered.
"Of course." Blitzwing said, turning and walking down the corridors. He approached Shockwave's door and gave it a small knock before entering. He blinked in shock, stunned to find the entire lab completely in disarray. "Uh, Shockwave?"
He found the mech standing calmly over his desk. "Oh, Blitzwing," he said, "What do you want?"
"Uh, Lord Megatron needs you in the control room for planning," Blitzwing told him, still shocked, "What in the name of Primus happened in here?"
"Nothing at all," Shockwave replied, as if the condition of the laboratory was a perfectly natural occurrence and nothing to be alarmed at. "It was just a little...accident. Nothing to be alarmed at. Please inform Lord Megatron that I will be there shortly."
Blitzwing nodded his head. "Very well then." It switched to his maniacal face as he left. "Whooo! He really brought the house down, no?"
As Blitzwing left the laboratory with his wild laughter fading in the distance, Shockwave was finally able to release his death grip on the edge of his desk, leaving wide, jagged marks.
O
Red Alert wasn't thrilled with being sent to the office of the psychologist Muse.
She watched as the bright red and yellow Autobot moved around the office that was filled with colorful paintings and metal decorations. Muse had always been a very questionable Autobot, but not because of any doubts about his loyalty, but his methods. And most individuals tried to avoid him because he had his one hand missing in place of a smaller, jagged one. He was an old Autobot and rumor had it that he had seen entirely too much battle that caused him to just...snap. Red Alert never really enjoyed the suggestion of being in the office as it meant that others considered her to be insane and she just didn't like that at all.
"My dear, Rodimus sent you here because he is worried about you," Muse told her, with a gentle smile on his scarred face. "I am not here to question your sanity, or your loyalty to our cause, but I'm just here as a friend, okay?"
She barely nodded. "Okay..."
Muse smiled and rose from his chair. "Okay, now what I want you to do first is paint me a picture." When she gave him a funny look, he grinned cheerfully, "This is where you can find your soul, if you dare. Don't ask me to show you how to draw what you feel, you will find the answer yourself. Art itself is a fantastic way for one to express what we feel without knowing what those feelings are!"
Red Alert furrowed her brow, watching as Muse picked up something from his desk. "All right then, tell me what you see here!" He held up a smashed model of Cybertron.
"Uh, Cyberton?" Red Alert guessed.
Muse looked pained. "Aww, come on! You're can't tell me the creativity is gone from you already! The passion for your own world is no more?" He gestured to a crack in Cybertron. "You see this? Can you imagine Unicron Himself tearing a hole through our planet? Or maybe Sentinel Prime's great, asteroid-sized chin crushing a crater through Kaon?" He grinned when Red Alert actually laughed. "See? No matter what it is you face, the possibilities are endless if you just try!"
Red Alert shrugged her shoulders. "So what do you want me to do?"
Muse placed the model down and pushed a holo-canvas up to her. "I want you to paint."
Red Alert reluctantly watched him and he grinned, gesturing for her to move. "Come on. Paint your feelings," he told her, "Nothing you say will ever leave this room-well, except with you." He smiled gently. "If somethings eating at you, find a way to use it. Show me what is causing you pain. Paint the truth."
She frowned, but did as Muse requested. She began to paint, but it occurred to her that instead of using her mind, she just allowed her hand to do the work. It was interesting how her mind was not in control of her movements as she splashed colors in front of her. Muse watched the entire time, silent as air, but shifting ever so slightly behind her. She couldn't help but glance back to see his reactions; a soft murmur and a raising of his eyebrow ridges.
"Well, this is rather interesting," Muse said, when she finally finished, "I'm impressed."
Red Alert sighed. "I'm not much of an artist," she argued, "You don't have to oil coat it."
What she had painted was something indeed interesting; a swirl of white and violet that seemed to take the shapes of creatures that resembled Earth's animals. The violet one resembled a broken, tattered wolf smothered in shadow and the white was a weeping bird with golden chains around her wings. Their limbs were joined together in an embrace and both appeared to be holding a small flower between their digits, but the wolf appeared to try and look away. Below them she had painted an endless wasteland filled with what looked like death and destruction. Above the two creatures was an endless bright light that appeared to be her personification of paradise.
And the two creatures trapped between.
"Would you like to know what I see, Red Alert?" Muse questioned.
She nodded.
"I see two people caught up in their own personal war," Muse said, "The creature here in shadow may be the fact that he hides himself from everyone else and the tattered body shows that he may be suffering internally for his lack of emotion to the other creature. The fact that he has his eyes closed and he's looking away proves that. The clutching organic plant in their digits may be a sign of hope through the war they are caught between. A hope that they may both share. Hmm, the white animal is smiling, but she is also weeping. She could be happy where she is, but that happiness hurts just the same. The chains are golden, which could mean that she feels trapped in her own seemingly perfect world and the fact that they are around her wings means she can't hope to leave," He paused before looking down at her. "They are caught between paradise and hell..."
Red Alert didn't speak after he was finished. His words appeared to carry much more knowledge than she wanted.
"Red Alert?" he said, and his voice was serious now.
She looked up at him.
"Who is the one you cannot be with?" Muse asked gently.
He wasn't acting crazy now. He wasn't smiling or laughing. He looked dead serious this time and she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him. But his optics held so much trust and caring that she could not resist anymore.
"Sh-Shockwave."
She expected him to yell, to call her a traitor as the others would have and even look disgusted with her. He did absolutely none of those and instead, he glanced at the painting.
"How long has this been going on?" he asked.
"A long time."
Muse sighed and shut his optics before looking at her. "I take it you were not a prisoner as they say you were."
"No. I definitely was not."
"Hmm..." Muse said, thoughtfully, "This is quite complicated. But if your feelings for him are true, it would be criminal for anyone to treat you as a traitor. Traitorous would be to defy your own feelings. I cannot allow anyone to suffer for that."
Red Alert looked at him hopefully. "So what should I do?"
"I don't know. We will find a way, I promise."
She stood up. "I have to return to my duties." she said. Then, she looked at him beseechingly. "Please, don't tell anyone about this."
Muse gave her a small bow. "From one doctor to another, you have my word."
She smiled weakly and left his office. Muse watched her go before he sighed and slumped into his chair, staring at the painting in front of him.
"This will not end well..." he murmured, with sadness in his optics.