Sookie

Chapter 10

Future of Past's Present

Eric helped me get settled, showing me to a room. All the while his phone was in his hands and he was hitting keys to send messages without even looking! As appealing as it was to have him with me. It was painfully clearthat he had about ten other places to.

"I know where the bed is. I can find the bathroom. I'm sure I can take a shower without drowning myself."

I snorted a laugh at my own expense. It was the first thing I learned about myself. Apparently I had no qualms about poking fun at my amnesia. Somehow that made it easier to deal with. I would take a ribbing over being made to feel as if I was broken any day. It was better than feeling sorry for myself.

Eric stopped and gave me a long hard look. "I was trying to be funny," I admitted, feeling my cheeks flame. I hoped to God it was the bump to the head. The possibility that I was always this incredibly graceless all the time was too much bare.

His hands stopped and cupped the left side of my face. Without the barest conscious thought, I leaned into him. Everything in me wanted to get closer to him and I knew that even if I crawled under his skin, I still wouldn't be close enough.

"It was funny."

I rolled my eyes. Now I was insulted, he was just trying to pacify me.

"As evidenced by your smile."

This time he did smile. It did devastating things to his already breathtaking features. "I need to go."

He was the only person I knew. What if he left and the barrier that kept out the avalanche of minds and emotions crashed? The memory of being buried under thoughts that ranged from the incisive, mundane, and to the vile was rousing panic deeply within me. I fought it. I had no idea where the strength came from or where it had been but it won over my panic and insecurity. I covered his hand with mine, and then guided it from my face.

"I will send someone to bring you food."

Food; I had totally forgotten about it. Between wrestling the voices in my head and the shock over my empty memory bank, eating hadn't entered my mind.

"Who?" I wondered aloud. At this point I needed to keep a log of people I should know and total strangers because right now they were all the same.

"No one you know," He said with a grin.

"That was in poor taste," I chided. It didn't change the fact that I still thought it was funny.

I was able to take a bath without drowning myself. Thank God for small victories. I sat in the heat of the water and allowed my mind to roam. When the bath ran cold, I was forced to the bed that seemed too small and also too cold. It made no sense because I could see that it was neither of those things. It was all in my mind.

This place wasn't as secluded as the farmhouse but I knew that it wasn't home. I didn't know what home would feel like but I knew it wasn't here, even with the covers pulled to my chin. I wasn't afraid. I felt lonely. I missed Eric. An hour later it turned into a vibrant ache in my blood that heated my body. I wanted to cry. I also wanted him possess me in the way that only a man could.

I ached but he was gone and I had no phone number. After a few hours, I had moved past missing him. Idly I wondered if I ever knew him. My priority shouldn't be wondering about my affiliation with a man who didn't call and it shouldn't be about sex. It should be about me. I should be trying to gather clues. The more I could garner from my surroundings, the less I would have to piece together. It took a few more hours but soon exhaustion set in, cutting me off, and I was dead to world.

I woke the next day and there was food, but no Eric. I wondered if it was because he was a vampire or because he was busy. I moved throughout his house and found food as he promised. There was a little bit of everything. I ate and dressed but that only took the better part of an hour. I was left with nothing to do. I took a chance to really look at the house. It was brightly decorated. The walls in the living room were deep shades of blues and there were paintings all throughout the house. All spoke of a different place and time but fit in well with the rooms they adorned. I explored without snooping. I fiddled with the television.

That was how I filled my time the first day. The next day was the same. I didn't see Eric or the mysterious person that refilled whatever I had eaten. My telepathy told me I was alone in the house during the day. I waited up at night but I was still very much alone. Obviously Eric was avoiding me and this was just some sense of obligation that had forced him to let me cramp his style. Being in his house made the hunger I felt for him gnaw on deeper levels. I might not know the person I really was but the part of me that was left knew I couldn't be here. It was me, my self, and my driver's license, none of which could shed light on my past.

"I shouldn't have come," I muttered.

When Eric had taken me to the little house in the middle of nowhere, fear had refused to let me stay. I didn't want to be alone. Sitting here, I found that the only thing worse than fear of being alone was a cage. In addition to being amnesiac I felt like I was going stir crazy, just sitting and waiting for tall, blonde, and dead.

Every breath I took since Eric left seemed to just sustain things but it was barely enough. I was safe but not the least bit comfortable. Saying I just wanted him didn't seem like enough. I swear I could feel him in my blood and smell him on my skin. It was a deep, patrician fragrance, and at the heart of it all, were wisps of a blooming moon flower. All of that was what I was holding onto and I had to let it go. Eric might have been my hero but I didn't want to be a damsel, not anymore.

Packing didn't take long. I had righteously marched to the front door when I realized I had no way to get back to my little farmhouse. It was possible that I knew how to drive a car but I didn't have one. I also didn't want to risk it. Okay, I had to find someone else that I knew. That shouldn't be too hard. I sat on the floor beside the front door and tried to think. I was desperate for the slightest twinge of memory. It didn't come. Forcing the issues brought that constant headache in the back of my skull closer to the forefront. I gave up on the endeavor.

I was set to give up when I recalled something. It wasn't from before the accident. I'd been packing to leave with Eric. I had been in a rush but I recalled looking at a t-shirt with a logo on it. It was plain and well worn. I didn't pack it but I remembered it; Merlotte's Bar and Grill. That was as good a place to start as any. Thankfully Eric had a phonebook and a phone. It took a few tries but I finally I reached the right place.

"Merlotte's," a harried female voice greeted. "What can I do ya for?"

"Um…ah…" the desire to sound sure and confident warred against need. Need won. "I'm Sookie Stackhouse. Do you know me?"

"I want to go on record and say that you should be going to a hospital."

Sam stared at me as if I was a difficult puzzle. It immediately made me self-conscious. Reflexively, I fortified my mental shields.

"Are you still a telepath?" he asked.

His tone makes me brought my response down to a whisper. I felt as if we are talking about something secret and dangerous.

I nodded, "Yes, are you?"

He shook his head, "No, I never was but I guess you don't remember what I am?"

I wracked my brain. It didn't take long but there just wasn't that much information to wade through. I shook my head.

He hesitated and I knew he was thinking about not telling me something about him that I already knew. I couldn't remember what it was but I still wanted to know. I wanted to know about him because he knew about me. I might have to recreate my past entirely and this could help.

"You can tell me," I said.

"I know. I just don't want to freak you out. You took it well the first time and that might not happen again."

I sat tall and gave him the most confident look I could muster, "Tell me."

He didn't tell me anything. He showed me. I watched as the sandy-haired, fuzzy-headed man morphed into a tiny pup. My breath caught as the reality of it registered. I was waiting for said freak out but it never came. Instead my face stretched into an adoring smile. I was a dog person, it seemed.

As if he wasn't cute enough, Sam the puppy was scuffling his way out of a pile of clothes belonging to a grown man and was attempting to drag them into the bathroom. I got the hint and helped. Moments later he was back in the kitchen with me, human and dressed. All of a sudden, I didn't feel as lost. It made me feel better to not be the only different one. Eric was a vampire, Sam turned into a puppy, and next to them a telepath wasn't nearly as interesting.

"You make a cute puppy," I said, meaning every word.

He rolled his eyes but I didn't miss the undertone of relief. "I guess you're just good with weird."

Sam didn't have to tell me that this was just as much of secret as was my telepathy. I could hear it in his tone.

I looked at the man beside me. His sandy hair had streaks of red that when caught in the sun made him look like he was wearing a heated halo. His eyes held no mystery; neither in their color or intent. It unsettled me when he hugged me after he revealed his secret. It bothered me more that his mind was fogged.

He also asked me a dozens of questions and all my answers were the same, 'I don't know,' or 'I don't remember.' He gave up trying to get information and started sharing it. While I had been hiding, he and many others thought I was dead. That explained why it had taken a full five minutes to get the woman who answered the phone to stop asking questions, and then another five to get her to stop crying.

I almost left without leaving a note but I couldn't, not with all the help Eric had given me. It thanked him and told him I was going home.

Once we arrived at the farmhouse, I had to admit to my self that in the light of day it exuded a charm that I had been too blinded or too frightened to see two nights ago. The grounds weren't perfectly kept. That only added to its' natural and overall charm. The lawn wasn't a sprawling green field. Instead there were sections of green, splotches of dirt, and random debris. At some point, someone had sectioned out a portion for flowers but that time was long gone.

The driveway would make a great obstacle course. It had potholes the size of which should deter any and all visitors but Sam navigated it as if he was familiar with the pitted road. All I could think was I hadn't felt anything at all the night Eric had driven us here. The engine died and I continued to stare out at the house. The first night I hadn't felt or thought of anything remotely positive; everything from the trees to the porch had seemed so sinister.

Instead of it appearing dastardly, it looked interesting. I felt silly now, thinking of the terror I'd felt. In the light of day, the thicket of trees felt like they would enhance, not suffocate. Green and shades of brown with bursts of colors were all I could see. The paint on the house wasn't beaten but it was showing its years. Overall the house looked like an old woman who had maintained the vestige of her youthful splendor. It made me smile.

The charm I saw on the outside saturated the interior. I walked through the house again. I even explored the attic upstairs. It wasn't much, just an unfinished space on the left and a locked attic on the right. As I went around, I lifted the shades bathing everything in sunlight. It might have been a little too cold but I also opened a few windows along the way. It decreased the feeling in my chest that told me I didn't belong in this quaint little house. I did belong; if not because I wanted to then because I had to.

After my tour, I found Sam in the kitchen. He had set a table to for two. When I saw the offerings, my stomach rumbled reminding me that I hadn't eaten yet. Sam heard. He didn't say anything but he wasn't fast enough to hide the worried look on his face.

"What's with the face?" I found myself asking.

After schooling his features he turned to face me. "What face?" He said. "Sorry to disappoint but this is what I look like."

I snorted but it was more of a derisive chuckle. Maybe he thought that I had lost any ability to detect bullshit along with my memory.

He furrowed his brow as he replied, "I'm worried about what happened to you, not with the car accident, but after. You smell like vampire. That alone…"

"Oh," was all I had to say. "He was nice."

"He, who?"

"Eric."

Anxiety crashed onto the scene as if it were waves on the shore. "Eric Northman?" He asked.

I shrugged. I didn't know his last name but Northman suited him. Simple, but not weak; short, but not terse nor cold. I had no idea why those thoughts even entered my mind. What did I know about names and the people that bore them? I just learned mine and, if not for the plastic card in my pocket I wouldn't even have that. Still, there was no denying that the name 'Eric Northman' rolled off the tongue no matter who or his name was spoken.

"Is he blonde?" Sam inquired.

I nodded. Eric was definitely that but he was also tall and handsome. He had also made me feel as if I the only important thing in the world when he was around, that is. It wasn't so much the lack of attention or impermeable silence of his house that propelled me to leave. I was infringing on his space, time, and generosity. It made me want to defend him.

"He drove me here," I said. "But I didn't want to stay."

He didn't look convinced but let the conversation drop. We ate in silence that was more or less comfortable. We weren't yet finished when I heard a car scaling the obstacle course that was my drive way.

"It's Terry," Sam announced. I didn't ask how he knew and he didn't explain. Instead he went on to tell me things that I should already know but don't remember.

"He went into the Army but he's never been the same since. He's been taking care of your lawn and odd jobs around the house."

"It looks good," I replied sincerely.

Sam smiled in encouragement, "Tell him that. He's taking you getting hurt harder than most."