Forgotten Memories

Chapter 10 – Holding On

WARNING: This chapter was not beta read; I only proofread this.

Genre: Romance, Hurt and Comfort (Slight) Humor, Tragedy, Friendship, Drama

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy tail, Hiro Mashima does

Rogue had gone deaf after Catherine spoke, his vision hazy and his hearing muffled. He could only hear his heart pounding in his ears, loud and hard. He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, using the last bit of strength he had in him to remain composed though he wanted nothing more than to tear the heavens apart for doing this to him. What did he ever do to receive such a punishment? Why couldn't he just be with Lucy again? Why him? Why them? Why not someone else?

Questions ran through his head and although he could see Catherine speaking to him, he couldn't hear her. His breathing was haggard and he clenched his fists, willing himself to look at Lucy. When he finally did, his breath hitched and he found himself staring into confused and pained eyes. He choked and staggered backwards, tears daring to leave his eyes.

"I—I have to go," he uttered in defeat, giving his friend one hopeful glance before exiting the house. Now that he wasn't in there anymore, he could feel the anguish crushing him. It was almost like a physical thing—it hurt so much.

He dissolved into shadows, barely hearing Lucy calling out his name as he went somewhere far away where no one could disturb him. He solidified and slid to the ground, fingers pulling at his hair. The tears he never had the time to shed were now streaming down his cheeks. There was a time he grieved over her, allowing himself to cry, but the situation wasn't as worse as it was compared to now. If her amnesia was in fact permanent, then he may as well have wished for a divorce.

His body shook with sobs. Rogue Cheney, a shadow dragon slayer, a man who rarely showed emotions, felt like the sky fell on him. Rogue, a man who barely felt sorrow, was feeling down. He couldn't even explain what he was feeling. It was horrid. It was heart wrenching. But what could he do?

He sucked in a deep shuddering breath and allowed himself to fall to the ground, his back laid on the grass and his eyes facing the clouds. The breeze cooled him down a bit, but he could still felt the despair eating his soul. Flashbacks and memories of Lucy appeared in his mind, her smiling face bringing his lips to lift, her tears bringing his, her laugh a chime in his ears, and her love the only cure to his grief. She changed his life just as he did hers. They were merely acquaintances in the past but things turned out different. Lucy, a ray of sun, had brought life to his dark world. He had never considered caring for anyone else other than his Exceed, but he found himself doing exactly that.

Someone once told him that he would care for someone deeply. He thought that the idea was simply ridiculous—he never cared for anyone else. He didn't need weak feelings such as love and faith. He was to become stronger and protect only himself and his cat and no one else. He made an oath which he broke without hesitation, and he found himself surprised that he had shattered the pledge. He, who valued oaths more than his life, demolished it, acting as if the vow had never existed.

Was this really how it felt to have someone you loved so dearly taken away from you?

He didn't need words to describe his feelings for they were beyond that. For once in his life, he felt devastated, and the small bit of hope he held onto vanished, leaving behind a cold, bitter feeling in his chest. With Lucy around, he gained faith. He knew she would come back to him. She loved him, after all. But with things taking the wrong turn, he wasn't so sure about that anymore. It seemed as if he was stripped of his only lifeline.

The thought seemed bizarre all of a sudden. Once upon a time, he had never held onto anything else other than himself. And now that he considered something else as his life, he felt like laughing. What had happened to the Rogue Cheney everyone knew to be so passive? What happened to the man they all considered heartless?

Rogue released a heavy sigh, breathing in the fresh air that the wind brought him. He liked the shadows, but coming to this particular hill gave peace to his mind. He had gone up here with his wife once, admiring the clear blue sky, not a care in the world. It was her who showed him this place and since then, he found it useful. Whenever he felt stressed or exhausted, they would go here to relax and it worked every time.

"I love you."

He closed his eyes, the words bringing an ache to his heart. He didn't even know what was right or wrong anymore. Was it alright to feel that he had to be separated from her? She didn't even know him anymore. Why should he remain in a relationship that was one-sided?

He opened his eyes and paled.

"Rogue?"

Lucy appeared over him, her lips in a frown and her eyes filled with concern. Her hair grazed his cheeks and he trembled, turning to his side.

"Why are you here?" he bit out rather harshly, regretting his words not soon after.

"I… I don't know."

The dragon stared at her, his face a look of sheer disbelief. He opened his mouth to speak but found himself at a loss of words. He sighed and stayed silent, her scent driving him crazy. The wind blew and his eyes widened as he smelled salty water.

He turned around to face her almost reluctantly, frowning. Fresh tears cascaded down her face and her forehead was creased. She sniffed and sobbed, furiously wiping away her tears. She pursed her lips. "I… I wanted to see you."

Rogue arched a brow. "Me?"

"Y-Yes… you…"

"Why?"

She stood still, her face distorting and changing quickly. After a while, she spoke.

"I—I don't know myself," she finally said, heaving a sigh. "C-Can I join you?"

The shadow mage cursed. Her presence next to him only deepened his sorrow but he didn't have the guts in him to turn her away. With a slow exhale, he nodded, rolling to his side once more, his back facing her. He felt the grass shift as she settled next to him, staring up at the clouds. He could feel her warmth from where he laid and he wanted nothing else than to wrap his arms around her and hold her close. He feared that she could slip away from him any moment now and he'd wake up thinking this was all simply just a dream.

If only that could be true.

After minutes of complete silence, her voice was heard.

"I… I somehow knew you'd be here."

His eyes widened just a bit, but he remained facing away from her, not wanting her to see the occasional tears that slipped out of his eyes. He listened as she spoke once more.

"S-Sting arrived earlier… he was looking for you and it seemed u-urgent."

He inhaled sharply, his heart throbbing.

"He's still looking for you… and I decided to help him. Somehow I thought of this hill and my feet started running. Without even knowing, I arrived here."

Rogue closed his eyes in painfully—so it was merely out of instinct.

He heard her suck in a shaky breath. "What I'm trying to say is… I think there's still a chance. Catherine said this was permanent, but if that was true, then how did I find you? Intuition, perhaps? But even with the amnesia, that wasn't possible."

"L-Lucy, stop," Rogue said, his voice hoarse and rough.

The blonde winced and she shook her head, looking up at the sky. "No, Rogue. I'm not saying this to cheer you up or to lead you on. I have a feeling that my memories will return but for now, all I can do is hope. Don't be so sad, Rogue. I don't know why, but I just can't stand seeing you like this."

The man felt another wave of tears coming and he choked, feeling a smile creep up on his face. He felt her fingers weaving through his hair and he breathed out in relief.

He closed his eyes and fisted his hands, God, please; don't take her away from me.

The white dragon slayer cursed under his breath, leaning against a building. He growled lowly. "Where could that bastard be?! Damn it, we need him…"

He took out his communication lacrima and Erza appeared on the crystal surface. "Did you find him?"

The blonde shook his head sadly. "I couldn't, sorry. I can't find his scent and I don't know why. Lucy decided to help me find him but I doubt she could've found him."

The redhead bit her lip, deep in thought. After a moment, she spoke. "Never mind Rogue; we can inform him of this later. You have to come here. There's something you have to know."

"What's this about anyway? Why do you guys sound so desperate and so… rushed?"

Erza smiled bitterly. "You'll know when you get here so hurry up!"

Sting groaned in frustration. "Fine, fine! I'm coming, wait for me." With that, he tucked the lacrima back in his pocket and ran towards the dorm.

He had no idea what this was about but when a white exceed – Carla – appeared in front of him and told him to find Rogue asap, he knew it was important. He had a hunch it was related to Lucy's amnesia but other than that, he didn't have a clue about what this was. He wasn't exactly the nicest man to the celestial mage. When she arrived, he spat at her and hated every fiber of her being. But seeing Rogue so close to someone other than him woke him up and he started to change. He began to care for her like a brother would for his sister.

When he found out that she lost memories of them, it was a harsh blow. He wouldn't have complained if he didn't give a damn about her but he did and because of that, it was painful. He couldn't even imagine how his best friend was feeling when he found out. It was hard enough for him—what more of Rogue who was her husband?

He gritted his teeth and quickened his pace. He had to find out what was happening. He heard from Catherine that Lucy's amnesia turned permanent and that was simply impossible. He knew then that there was more to just Lucy losing her memories—someone was pulling the strings. Someone was doing this to her.

With a low growl, he arrived in the dorm and immediately went to team Natsu's room. He slammed the door open and saw them in a circle, their faces without a trace of humor and amusement in them. He swallowed thickly and spoke, "S-Sorry."

Erza nodded. "It's alright." She motioned for the others to make space on the floor. "Sit."

Sting did as he was told to and sat comfortably on the tiled floor, eyeing the other Fairy Tail mages with a look of utter confusion. Jellal caught his stare and finally broke the tense atmosphere, chuckling. "You look baffled."

"Well, you all look very serious so of course I am," the blonde muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Anyway, what's this all about?"

Wendy decided to speak up. "Natsu-san thinks that Lucy's memories did not just vanish but stolen."

Sting's eyes widened, screaming in his head for a moment that he thought right. He cleared his throat. "How can we be certain that that's true?"

"W-We don't know yet," Wendy said, her voice wavering.

Erza stared at the white dragon slayer. "We sent for her Exceed, Carla, to ask your master about the mission she took. It's possible that her target had something to do with this."

"I, uh, wanted to ask," Natsu spoke up, giving Erza an apologetic look before diverting his gaze back to Sting. "Was there someone who liked Rogue before? Like… someone who loved him as much as Lucy did?"

The blonde stared at the floor in thought. Was there someone? He couldn't really remember. He didn't care about his best friend's love life after all. But still, the words seemed familiar. He had a feeling that there was someone. He just couldn't tell who.

He pressed his lips together. "Well… I think there was a girl but I don't… exactly remember who it was. I'm positive she was head over heels for him though."

Gray frowned. "She could have had something to do with this. Jealousy is very manipulating."

"That's right," Erza said, frowning as well. "Please try to remember, Sting. We need your help."

The blonde nodded. "Alright, I'll try."

Jellal sighed and leaned back, supporting his weight with his arms. "In the meantime, let's wait for Carla to get back."

Everyone nodded. "Right."

A/N: Finally, an update! I'm verrryyy sorry for such slow updates :( I received a review the other day saying how a horrible updater I am and I felt reaaaally bad. Don't worry though, I have the next bit written. I just have to continue writing the chapter if I don't want to lost motivatio :) I hope you liked the chapter. I tried to prolong it but I decided to end it that way.

As usual, I ask for forgiveness for the mistakes that have been spotted and please review if you want a quick update ;) Show your love for RoLu and this story guys! :D

NOTICE: I am in need of a beta reader. If possible, someone who knows the "Review" in MSWord where you use track changes to edit some things. If there's someone who doesn't know that, well, we'll see.

"Even the smallest bit of hope can grow into something more."

Byee! -Anne :D

- Please support/read my other stories: Celebrity Issues, Good Meets Bad, Fragile, Life's Challenges, Queen of Stars, A Love That Lasts Forever and Going Against The Current.