Chibiyu: Can't get over how different and amazing Nick sounded in Les Miz…check it out! I have links in my profile!

Nick: I have three voices, basically. One for screaming fans, One for Broadway, and One for goofing off.

Chibiyu: And they all are awesome, the Broadway for the 'wow' factor, the screaming fan one for the awesome factor and the goofing off for the funny factor.

IF I OWNED JONAS, NICK WOULD BE SINGING IN HIS 'MARIUS' VOICE ALL DAY!

FLASHBACKS ARE -BOLD-

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"Fang didn't want me tonight…I think he is jealous because he knew you would be here." She told me seriously but I shrugged. Like Fang would ever be jealous of a wreck like me. We sat in silence for a minute, her hand resting now on top of Johnny's headstone. "You were like a brother to him…" She whispered. "He would be happy you are here and not down there…he died so it was this way and not that." She whispered and I didn't respond. I just starred at his name as if repeating them in my mind would offer some comfort. But they didn't bring comfort, only more pain. "I'm sorry."

I am too.

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JOE'S POV

I was up with everyone else, waiting for Nick to come back. My mom told us to let her handle it but I knew everyone would put in some words. He snuck out. He left without telling us where he was going. We didn't know if he was safe or if he was coming back or anything!

"He's coming back." Frankie told us before walking to his room. How he knew, I didn't know. But I starred at Nick's bed, looking at the luggage and the old teddy bear and then I understood. Nick wouldn't have left his things. So he was coming back. But when?

I walked to the window when I saw a pair of headlights stop and turn off. Kevin was next to me in an instant. We saw Nick jump out of a red car, not bothering to open the door and the driver did the same. She was a girl! Did Nick have a girlfriend? She walked over to him and he looked away from her. I opened the window, hoping to hear anything from her.

"For showing me the grave." The girl told him, and Nick nodded. "I am sorry I wasn't there…But he would have understood." She was talking about Johnny's grave, I knew it. "I'll IM you later Nick…when Fang isn't around." I could practically hear her eye roll in her last statement. She jumped back into the car and waited for Nick to climb on the fire escape before driving off.

"Mom! Dad!" I called and they came up just as Nick pulled himself through the window. My mom's anger seemed to deflate when she saw his face. He looked awful, not like he was beaten up, but tired and red eyed and pale. Like he had done too much crying and just wanted to be alone.

"Nicholas…" My moms started and he put his hands in his pockets, not meeting our gazes but I saw the tenseness in his shoulders. It was like he was expecting something more than words, like he was steeling himself. "Tell us next time you go out ok?" Nick did nothing but blink once in what I thought to be surprise and then my parents told us to get ready for bed.

They both went downstairs and Nick still hadn't moved. Our gazes were holding him there with chains.

"Who was that?" Kevin asked gently but Nick didn't respond. He just starred deadly at his feet.

"It was Rose, from VIP." A new voice answered and Kevin and I jumped, not expecting Frankie. "She was Johnny's cousin." He looked at all of us and smiled. "The internet knows all!" Frankie ran off again and Kevin and I stood there with dumb looks on our faces. We didn't notice Nick shuffle off to the bathroom and emerge in his pajamas, we didn't notice him laying down on his bed and starring at the ceiling. But we did notice mom coming back upstairs and pushing us to do as she asked.

She smiled at us when we came out and her foot stopped tapping. Kevin hadn't been lying when he implied that mom was scarier than a fictional ghost in our house. She walked over to Kevin, kissed his forehead and said goodnight. Walked over to me, kissed my forehead and said goodnight. And then I watched her approach Nick, who wasn't even looking at her. But when she sat next to him, his eyes instantly snapped up to her face, but I was too far away to see any emotions in them. I watched mom ruffle his hair gently and Nick lowered his gaze again. I watched her kiss his forehead too and say goodnight before walking downstairs. Only then did I see the tears shining in Nick's eyes.

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NICK'S POV

I can't stay here. I can't. One week will kill me with memories that I've been hiding from myself. Memories I've been trying to repress and forget so I can go about living in the present instead of the past. But living here made that impossible! Red was too much like my own mother, which brought back sorrow and an aching pain deep within my heart. The two older brothers kept reminding me of my own and Frankie was too much like my little sister. I am not exaggerating when I say I would rather die than stay here.

I sat up, knowing I never slept the first week in a new house because I didn't trust them enough to close my eyes for longer than a blink, and even that was a stretch. I pulled my old dinosaur laptop from my suitcase and waited three minutes for it to boot up. It may be 11 years old, but it worked fine. Slow, but fine. Rose knew this routine; IM'ing in the late hours of night until the early hours of morning. Better talk to someone who never slept than stare at a shadowy ceiling all night. I muted the sound and dimmed my screen light, not really caring about the brothers. Kevin had curtains that were closed and Joe was too elevated to be bothered.

President(available)

BloomingRose: Took you long enough.

President:*Shrugs*

BloomingRose: Get in trouble?

President: *shakes head*

BloomingRose: Nice. Now are you going to talk or use gestures this whole time? I know you can talk mister…you used to NEVER shut up….good times.

President: *Shrugs* Ah, to be young and naive again.

I looked over as I heard Joe stir and I starred at where his bed would be, my view blocked by the desk, for a few minutes before I deemed it safe.

President: You still there?

BloomingRose: Barely. Fang is getting jealous again…Idiot boy. He thinks he can be the ONLY boy in my life. How clingy. How are you holding up? They try and jump you yet?

President: Don't joke about that.

BloomingRose: Sorry…forgot.

President: Lucky you.

President(signed off)

Rude? Maybe. But she was used to it. She knew better than to joke about those things around me. After all…after experiencing it, the joke failed to make me laugh. I closed the laptop and hid it away, knowing that if they found it, they would take t away from me. But at least it wasn't my guitar or Mr. Teddy-Pant's. One family did that to me and I snapped…but I still swear to Smith that I didn't break their front door.

I starred at the ceiling, hugging the old bear close and finally, after 2 am, my eyes started drifting close. But did I trust these people to allow them to fall? No…but I was fighting a losing battle. I snuggled down into the pillows, hating the unfamiliar stench they filled my nose with and I couldn't help but sigh as I realized I was getting home sick. It happened every time but that didn't mean I wanted to run back to the orphanage…no. I just wanted to run back to the things I knew instead of lay here in the unknown.

One week. Just one week. I can do this.

I closed my eyes, my ears straining for any sound but after a minute, I couldn't stay on guard anymore; the long day was taking its toll. I was almost asleep when I heard a shuffling sound close by…footsteps. I felt myself start to shake as they drew closer…

-I opened my eyes and smiled at my brother and Billy as they came into my room from their sleep over. I sat up but Neal forced me back down. Billy sat on the end of the bed, smiling in a way that no 16 year old should smile. I didn't like that smile.

"We are gonna play a game Nicky." Neal whispered into my ear. "And if you scream, you lose." -

"Nick?" A voice whispered and I fought to hold still. If he knew I was awake, he would make it all the more painful. "Are you ok?" I curled up into a protective ball as I felt my bed sink from his weight. "It's alright…I'm not going to hurt you." That's what they all said and as soon as the lies flew from their mouth, they would turn ad break me beyond repair. Break me for Johnny to come and pick up the pieces. But Johnny was gone. It was only me…and I can't fix myself alone.

I jumped as I felt a cold hand on my exposed arm and I spun around, shying away from the touch.

Don't remember Nick. Don't do it.

I looked up into the pale face of Joe and I almost screamed, but I thought against it…

-"Scream again bitch, I dare you." How could my own brother do this to me? Why would he betray me?-

No, don't think about it. Don't remember.

I looked into Joe's worry filled eyes and instantly looked away. Johnny gave me that look one too many times…enough for me to miss it and enough for it to hurt to see it again. I clung to my bear like it was my lifeline. And for many years, it had been.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He whispered, accurately reading my behavior. Like Hell he wasn't. I've heard that too many times to count. I cringed away as he reached out again, waiting for him to betray his words like everyone else has. He sighed. "OK Nick, I will hurt you." I knew it. "But not tonight and never intentionally. I can't promise to you that over some course of this life as brothers, I won't accidently hurt you, so I won't promise that. But I can promise you, that tonight, I won't."

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JOE'S POV

I got up, wanting a drink of water but when I came back upstairs and wanted to check on Nick. But when I got closer, he started shivering, like he was having a nightmare.

"Nick?" I called gently, trying to make him wake up or figure out what was wrong. "Are you ok?" I sat on the edge of his bed, as far from him as I could, but he curled up into a protective ball, his back to me. So he was awake. And he was afraid. "It's alright…I'm not going to hurt you." I vowed but that only seemed to make it worse. How many times has he heard that and then the promises where broken? I reached out and gently rested my hand on his arm, not holding, but just laying it there in a comfort thing. I knew what the Sister had said, but I didn't care right now. I had to let him know that I wasn't a villain.

He jumped violently and spun around, instantly shying away from my touch. His eyes were wide and then he met my gaze and it looked like he was holding back a scream by biting his tongue. He held my gaze for a second more and then clench his eyes closed and suddenly looked away, his face inscribed in torturous pain. Like he was remembering something he wanted, no, he needed to forget.

He opened his eyes again and looked in my face and I knew it was inscribed in worry. He instantly looked away, hurt in his eyes…I wonder if a person he loved gave him this exact look…maybe that was why he couldn't stand seeing it…because they were gone. He clung to the old teddy bear like it was a floatation in a river of rapids…and to him, maybe it was.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I whispered. I saw him cringe away as I reached out again and that seemed to back up my theory about him being betrayed after hearing those words. And the empty look of anticipation and fear in his orbs confirmed everything. It hurt my heart to see him like this. I sighed, knowing what I needed to say but I didn't know how he would take it. "OK Nick, I will hurt you." He tensed, one thought going clearly across his face: I knew it. "But not tonight and never intentionally." He stiffened, his eyes widening as he listened. "I can't promise to you that over some course of this life as brothers, I won't accidently hurt you, so I won't promise that. But I can promise you, that tonight, I won't."

I waited. Five seconds later Nick lifted his gaze to mine and searched every inch of my face for a lie. His own face gave away nothing of how he was feeling or what thoughts raced in his mind. He blinked once and slowly uncurled himself, but he did not relax. So very slowly, I scooted over until I was actually sitting on the bed, not just my feet, and reached out, placing my hand on his arm again. He was still tense but he didn't tense further, which I took as a good sign.

"No one is going to intentionally hurt you here." I told him, moving a little closer. His hold on the bear became tighter but other than that, he didn't move. "Come here." I softly suggested and he stiffened, his gaze widening. He didn't move. "Come here Nicky, I won't hurt you." He made a squealing sound, like he was terrified but he slowly scooted towards me and back onto his pillows.

He stopped when a foot separated us and he didn't meet my gaze and he didn't lose his terrified posture. But why was he so afraid?

"Calm down, I won't hurt you." I asked gently and he tried to comply and something seemed to fall into place. When I snapped at him at the orphanage, ordering him rather harshly to calm down, and now, having him move closer and calm down…when it was obvious he didn't want to…He thought he had to follow any order I gave…any order anyone gave. But why?

"Hey Nick…you don't have to do what we say if you don't want to…you know that right?" He shook his head, burying his face into his pillows, hiding from me. Why did he think that he did have to? Who started this with him? I sighed as he shivered in both fear and cold. I pulled up the discarded covers and pulled them over him, his face resurfacing to give me toe weirdest look. It was like he was asking me why I was being nice instead of punishing him. But why?

So many questions…and I knew I would have to wait a long time to get their answers. And I hated that. I wanted to know, I wanted to help him. I needed him to know that he safe.

I slowly and lightly started rubbing his still exposed arm and for twenty seconds, he just watched my hand, waiting to see if I would take back my words. But I didn't. He looked away and I could tell that he was trying to close off and become indifferent again, but he was too afraid, too unsure about me to act like that right now. It was obvious he was uncomfortable with the contact, but if I left now, I would only leave him with more questions.

"Go to sleep Nicky."

"Don't call me that." He whispered, pleading and yet cold, like he truly hated the fact he had to speak.

I nodded. "Ok, I won't Nick." He turned away from me, pulling away form my touch and it was clear to me that he wanted this moment to be over. He didn't want to create any bonds or form alliances with anyone. No one would be let in.

And I hope I could change that.

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Chibiyu: Yeah, It was a nice(ish) chapter, but don't get too used to them. Things will happen next chapter for sure! Nick has a suckish life…I was listing this to NOT FORGET to add (lol) and yeah…even I felt bad…for a nanosecond. Until Next Update!