i own a new kitty that i adopted from the shelter last week but not twilight.

January 11th

Word eventually got around to me, via the Cullen female pipeline that Edward had left me on New Year's Day because of a work emergency. And it was most definitely not by choice.

His job never made sense to me: A bunch of computer lingo that I would never completely understand no matter how often he tried to sit me down and explain it to me. It allowed him to work from home and work odd hours. But occasionally, when there was an issue he had to leave ASAP and get on a plane to Denver.

He hadn't contacted me much though, and that made me anxious. One lonely text that said, "We need to talk face-to-face when I get home." The days of silence gave me way too much free time to ponder my new feelings and the validity of his. Rose told me several times not worry but how could I not? We fight, then we kiss, then I wake up and he's disappeared.

So when my phone chirped with the message he was coming home tonight, I was a little giddy. I think I redid my hair about twenty times. I tried to find something attractive to wear but determined there is no such thing as sexy maternity clothes.

It wasn't until late afternoon I actually stopped and considered what I was doing. I wasn't a girl preparing to see her best friend, I was a girl getting ready to see her crush. The kiss had clearly changed everything, or maybe it had made me realize something that had always been there, just lingering below the surface.

My love for Jasper never wavered, I was solely his when he was alive but there was the possibility I always felt something for Edward, something that went beyond mere friendship. By chance, Jasper was the one to talk to me first, but what if it had been Edward instead? I would never know but possibly, now I had to chance to find out.

By dusk, I was on the couch flipping through channels like a lunatic, bouncing my leg. The baby was doing somersaults; maybe it was excited to see Edward, too?

Evening turned to night and I was dozing with the kitten when I finally heard a knock on my door, following by the scraping sound of a key turning a lock. I quickly jumped up and wiped my sleepy drool off my chin.

"Hey." Edward grinned at me as he set his bag on the floor.

"Hey," I replied, feeling a bit shy. We stared at each other for a moment, goofy smiles on our faces, unsure of what to say and where to go from here. He was the one to break first, looking down at the kitten as she rubbed against his leg.

"How are things?" He asked as he continued petting the cat.

"Fine. How was your trip?"

"Uneventful." He shrugged. "I bought the baby a teddy bear from the airport. My flight was delayed so I had time to kill." Edward reached into his backpack and pulled out a fuzzy brown bear.

"Aw. It's cute," I said as he handed it to me. I hugged it against my protruding belly. "Thank you."

"Welcome." He started fiddling with his spacer. I braced myself for what he might have to say. "I missed you," he said, softly.

"I missed you, too." My smile growing as I felt a warmth spread through me.

Edward was still kneeling on the ground; the cat had jumped inside the bag to investigate. The front door was still open and I noticed luggage on my porch. "Did you come straight from the airport? That's a lot for just a few days."

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Edward looked away as he stood up and shuffled his feet.

"Okay." My smile falling slightly from confusion.

"The other day, I was talking to my sisters and they mentioned how upset you were at the thought of doing the whole single parent thing. I hate the thought of you doing this alone. And I know you are going to argue with me about how you are an independent woman and you can do it alone but spare me. You need my help, so I've decided I'm going to move in with you." He met my eyes during the last sentence, but he stepped backward as if I might attack him.

"Wait." I gestured for him to stop, I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. "Repeat that please?"

"I am moving in here," he said slowly.

I continued to stare, dumbfounded. "I'm sorry; did you just say you are moving in here?"

"Yes. I subleased my apartment to a friend and…"

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I exploded, suddenly angrier than I think I had possibly ever been. "You can't just move into my house!"

"I can. And I will." The nervousness was gone from his face, it was pure stubbornness now.

"You think after one kiss you can just waltz right into my house and take Jasper's side of the bed? Fuck. You."

"Bella, just shut the fuck up!" He threw his hands in the air, exasperated. "I'm sick of that shit, all right? I would never, ever try to replace Jasper. You know why?" Annoyed, I gestured for him to continue.

"Because no one will ever be able to replace him in my life. What I am trying to do is help my family. That baby is my family, you are my fucking family. You became my family when you fell in love with my cousin. And I realize your own family is fucked up but in my family we do whatever we have to do to take care of each other."

He stopped talking and ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends. He did that when he was stressed.

I started to say something but he held up his finger.

"I said no talking. Look, I know you can do this by yourself. I know that. But you deserve help. You aren't working, and though the house is already paid off, you still have utilities and other needs. Plus all the baby stuff, and you probably won't go back to work until August, at least, if you have a reliable sitter. Jasper's inheritance will last a long time but not forever."

Money was definitely a major concern of mine but I wasn't going to let him know that, not now anyway.

"I am fine financially," I said through gritted teeth.

"Don't lie to me. What about the fact that if you don't get enough sleep you are a demon bitch straight from hell? You know I stay up half the night and hardly sleep. I can feed a baby and look at a computer screen at the same time. I know how to change a diaper, how to install a car seat, and my singing voice has been known to soothe babies. Well, Rosie's babies."

He stepped toward me and placed his hands on my shoulders. Earlier today that might have brought on the fizzy-pop feeling but now it only pissed me off. I tried to shrug him off but was unsuccessful. He took my chin in his hands and tilted my face up to him.

"This baby is going to grow up without its dad. Jasper lost his dad to cancer when he was only six, and then my dad stepped in. I know for a fact that Jasper told you on several occasions that as much as he loved my dad he missed his own father. I refuse to let my best friend's kid grow up without some kind of father figure in it's life. I'm stepping in, not replacing. And Jasper would have done the same for me if the situation was reversed."

He released my chin and looked at my feet. There were tears in my eyes, partly caused by anger and partly caused by that fact that he was right. If Edward had died and left behind a child, Jazz would have stepped in, and if I didn't go along with it, that probably would have been a deal breaker to him. Family is very important to the Cullens, more so than in my family.

"Fine." I relented. "But don't you dare go in the spare room where his things are."

"I wouldn't dream of it. The attic used to be a bedroom when we were kids; I'll just fix it back up. Until then I'll just sleep on the couch."

"Whatever," I replied, bitterly. Just because I said yes, didn't mean I was particularly happy about it.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry I ambushed you. But sometimes I think that's the only way to deal with you." He chuckled and I glared at him. "Too soon?" I visualized daggers come out of my eyes.

He let go of my other shoulder but as I started to turn to go mope in my bedroom, he spoke again, "One last thing. Please."

I groaned loudly to show my irritation.

"That kiss…that kiss was perfect. For me anyway. I realized that this stunt will probably fuck up anything that kiss may have started but I swear that my living here is just as help. Nothing more. Anything that may happen between us will only be if you instigate it. If nothing ever happens, and we just stay close friends forever, then I'll be fine with that." Edward looked a little sad as he seemingly gave up hope on us. I turned my back without responding.

As I walked to my bedroom, I realized I felt a little sad, too.

oh the drama. Edward is doing what he thinks is right...however misguided it may be...

so, a few weeks ago my laptop crashed and burned and i lost a few chapters i had already written. though i now own a pretty little flash drive and things are backed up, i still need to rewrite some chapters. that means a time-frame for future updates is undetermined. sorry guys.

however THANK YOU to all the wonderful people that read and review and pimp and whatever. you are all awesome!

thanks to Larin20, i love you even though you are a conservative. lol

First will be updated shortly!