Chapter Ten

The next day, Harry awoke early, eager to continue his trek north. Gazing about him at the rows of boats, he itched to be away. He didn't know what it was that was drawing him north, other than it was unexpected, but since he had no real plans, decided to keep on motoring northward. Maybe he would find something there, some balm or peace. Perhaps some answers to the questions that rolled around in his mind.

The day was bright, the sun glinting off the water when he motored out of the marina and turned northward. Throughout the day, he passed dolphins that entertained him and other marine life that he longed to stop and study. But something kept telling him to go, so he listened to the voice and kept on.

That night, he found a sheltered anchorage and put out his anchor, intending to stay at least for the night and possibly tomorrow. Making his way below, he cooked a quick dinner and came out on deck to enjoy it, watching the stars that twinkled brightly overhead. When the wind began to pick up, he made sure the anchor was in place and headed below for the night, knowing tomorrow was a day just like today and he grimaced.

~O~

Dawn broke over the mountains to the east and Harry smiled at the beauty of it as he sat on the drop-down swim platform, his legs dangling in the choppy water. Smiling at a seal that came up to investigate him, Harry slid into the water and snorkeled in the crystal clear water of the bay he had spent the night in, delighting in the variety of marine life beneath his boat.

After a few hours, he climbed back aboard to hear a voice calling him on his marine radio. Hurriedly, he climbed from the water, shaking out his auburn hair and running a hand through it to finger comb it.

"Harry? You there? Come on. Wake up. Just because…"

"I'm here, Jiggs. Calm down. I was out for a swim."

"Some people have nothing better to do than go swimming in the early morning unlike the rest of us who…"

"Jiggs? What's wrong? Why the call?"

"Why the call? Why the…? Do you know your people are driving me nuts? Crane took the Flying Sub out looking for you yesterday. Did you know that? Took Morton, Sharkey and that Ski kid with him."

"Kowalski, Jiggs. His name is Kowalski."

"I don't care a bleep what his name is! I need to tell them something, Harriman. They're in here every hour!"

"Tell them to stop looking for me. It's simple."

"Not to them it isn't. And not to Edith. Do you know what your letter did to her? How she feels?"

Nelson sighed heavily and ran a hand over his stubbledchin, guilt filling him as he thought about what Edith's reaction would have been. He knew she would never understand the actions he felt he needed to take and his heart broke a little more as her face passed in front of little joy he had found in the morning was wiped out by Jiggs' call. "Look…tell them…tell them I'm happy. OK? Tell them that for the first time in a long time, I'm seeing and doing things I never had the time for before. All right?"

"Is that the truth, my friend?"

Nelson was a long time in answering. "No. Not really. But I'll get used to it. I have to. Tell them I'm all right. Tell Edith…"

"They don't want to talk to me. They want to talk to you."

"No! No, not yet. I'm too close."

"That's going to change?"

"It has to, Jiggs. I'm just not sure where or when. Something seems to be drawing me in a certain direction and I'm not sure why."

"Well, when you find out why, let me know."

"Is that the admiral?" a loud voice asked.

Looking up, Jiggs saw Crane with fire in his eyes and a determined look on his face enter with Angie close behind

"Crap," Jiggs whispered.

"Jiggs, you there?" Nelson called. "Did you hear me?"

"Harriman, uh…Crane just came in. Talk to him."

There was a long silence until Harry answered with a heavy sigh. "Put him on."

"Admiral! Are you all right?" Lee asked anxiously.

"Yes, Lee. I'm quite fine. Just trying to enjoy my new life, something I would be doing if I wasn't having my early morning swim interrupted. Jiggs was just telling me you're bugging him constantly. Leave off, OK?"

"No sir. No. You had your say in your letters. Now you listen to me. You can't do this. You can't just walk away from everything…everyone…you care about and who care about you."

"But I have," he said sadly. "And it will stay that way. This is my decision, Lee. This is the only way I know to keep the people I care about safe."

"Then you're a fool. To walk away when…"

"I've been called a fool many times before but never by someone I considered a very good friend."

"I'm sorry, sir. Please. Just…let me know where you are. I'll come there. We'll talk."

"No. No. It was too hard saying good-bye before. The last night…saying good-bye to Angie was…no, Lee. I can't."

"Angie's here now, Admiral. Talk to her."

Nelson was quiet for a long time before he whispered, "I'm sorry, Angie, Lee, but…I…I can't come back. Try, please try, to understand. It's the only way I can think of to keep you all safe," he said with sorrow in his voice. "Whether I'm right or wrong or a fool…or certifiably crazy…it's what is. I'm sorry." And with that he severed the call.

Jiggs slowly reached out and turned the radio off. "I'm sorry, Crane."

"So am I. So am I," Lee said softly as he turned and walked slowly out of the office. Angie, after a quick look at Starke followed but not before he saw the unshed tears that filled her eyes.

~O~

Weeks passed and Harry Nelson slowly made his way farther and farther away from his friends and his old life, each day continuing in much the same way as the day before. He swam, snorkeled, studied marine life, made copious notes on what he observed in the many notebooks he'd brought along and slowly headed northward, enjoying the days the winds were just right for sailing. He'd been in contact with Jiggs, making sure all was running smoothly, and had talked briefly to his friends and Edith who, although still displeased and concerned, tried to understand what her brother had felt it necessary to do.

The coast of Oregon was passing slowly by Harry and he smiled as he saw the vision of Mount Rainier seeming to float in the air before him, marveling at the beauty of the snowcapped mountain. He thought about climbing the rugged, snowy peak, only to remember he was all alone and a twinge of sadness enveloped him as he contemplated his painful but necessary choice.

Pulling his eyes away from the mountain, he continued his plodding course north, intending to be in the Straits of Juan de Fuca by tomorrow or the next day at the latest. However, a few hours later his radar indicated a strong storm was ahead. The waves began to increase in size and he felt a change in the wind. Knowing that any wave could knock him overboard, he checked his safety harness, making sure he was securely tethered to the boat and readied for a quick run to shelter. Looking quickly to his charts, he decided to head for a small marina called Seafarers Park where he hoped to be able to find a slip quickly. But before he could make the entrance to the harbor near Astoria, he felt the wind increase dramatically, the waves deepening and he heard a distress call go out from a sailboat called Jenny's Dream. A return call from the Coast Guard indicated they were on their way but it would be an hour or more until they could reach them. Checking his position against the transmitted position of the other vessel, Harry saw it was very near his location and he headed away from the safety of the harbor and towards the sinking vessel.

"Jenny's Dream, this is The Icarus. What is your status? Over," he called on the radio.

""We're sinking! Boat swamped! I have two children onboard! Please help! Over!"

"I have your position. Will be there soon. Hang on. Over."

Harry sailed through the stormy sea, hoping the coordinates were correct and searched through the ever deepening waves for sight of the floundering sailboat. Waves crashed over the bow of his boat, the spray drenching him and making it hard to see what was ahead.

Wiping the mist from his face he searched, hoping hard he got to the boat in time. Finally after what seemed like ages, Harry spotted the small craft off his port bow and sailed towards it. By now the vessel was on its side, waves crashing over it, and he could see the family of four clinging to the side desperately holding on. Harry threw out his sea anchor, grabbed a life preserver, tied a rope to it and threw it to the man, happy when he caught it and managed to tie the rope around his wife and two small children. When he waved that they were secure, Harry frantically pulled on the rope as the woman and children entered the water. Hauling them quickly aboard, he untied the rope and ushered them quickly below, yelling for her to find towels and blankets for her and the children. Racing back on deck, he set to work bringing the man to safety and was distressed to see he was beginning to weaken and sink into the ocean that churned about him.

"Hang on!" Harry yelled. "Grab the rope!" But the man was too tired of fighting the waves and seemed to give up.

Knowing it was a foolish thing to do, Harry checked his safety harness, making sure it was secure, and dove overboard towards where the man was last seen. For a brief moment he caught sight of him before he went under the churning waves.

"Oh no you don't!" Harry yelled as the man began to sink. He swam quickly to where he'd last seen him, reached down and felt a hand. Gripping it tightly, he yanked him to the surface. Harry wrapped an arm about him, attached the man's harness to his and told him to hang on to him. Grabbing the rope that was attached to his vest, he began to pull on it dragging them slowly back towards the boat that kept disappearing in the deepening sea.

Waves crashed over the pair, trying to pull them under and Harry fought with everything he had to keep them above water, spluttering as the ocean did its best to pull him under. The faces of his friends danced before him and he gritted his teeth, feeling their sadness, their fear for him. He wasn't going to let this be the end. Not for him and not for the young father tethered to him. He had to get them both back to his boat. Off in the distance, he heard the woman yelling and felt a tension on the rope and knew she was dragging them back towards safety and he relaxed just a bit.

After what seemed like an eternity, Harry reached the swim platform of The Icarus and hauled the man up onto it, heaving himself up behind. Laying his head on the cold, wet surface, Harry coughed up the seawater from his lungs and tried to control his breathing before he reached out to unhook the man's safety vest from his. Grabbing him, he pulled him up towards his wife waiting above, who dragged him the rest of the way up to the deck. She watched anxiously as her husband coughed, struggling to breathe.

"Go take care of your husband and kids! Hurry! Get below! We still need to make port!" Harry yelled over the roar of the wind as he staggered back to the wheel, steering his boat through the heavy seas and toward the safety of the harbor.

It was a long time before Harry could reach the sheltered bay, entering the safety of the breakwater and on to the marina. He motored to a vacant slip and moored, then slumped over the wheel exhausted.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into the anxious face of the husband. "Are you all right?" the man asked.

Harry could only nod as he tried to regain his breath. "But I'm going to hurt in places I didn't know I had tomorrow," he said with a tired smile.

"You…you saved my family. I…How can I ever repay you?"

Harry shook his head. "No debt is owed. Just do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Keep them safe. And never stop loving them," Harry said softly.

"I will, mister," he said as he helped Harry to his feet.

The storm continued to roar about them as the two men went below to see to the others, who crowded around Harry with gratitude.

"Here are some dry clothes for you and your children," Harry said as he pulled sweat pants, tee shirts and sweatshirts, most emblazoned with NAVY on them, from his belongings.

"Thank you," the woman said softly as she began to take the wet clothes from the two youngsters and put the seriously oversized shirts on them.

"I'll tell the Coast Guard you're safe," Harry said as he took a towel and began to dry his hair with it, leaving it in mussed curls. "After that I'll find us something to eat. I don't think there's much to be done tonight so you're welcome to stay onboard. In the morning we'll see what we can do."

"Oh, let me cook. You've done so much already and you're exhausted," said the woman.

"Sounds good. Let me contact the Coast Guard," he said as he sat at the radio and told the authorities the family was safe. A short while later, they were all warm and dry and ravenously consuming warm bowls of canned beef stew that Harry found to be delicious. "You know, it's just canned beef stew, same stuff I've been eating, but yours tastes so much better," Harry said with a smile as he sat at the small table.

"It's because someone else made it!"

Harry laughed heartily. "You're probably right!"

By now Harry knew the name of the family was Swenson, the man's name George and his wife's name was Jenny. The youngest child at two was named Tessa and the oldest at six was Ben. He'd introduced himself to the family simply as Harry. George had contacted his and Jenny's families and let them know what had happened but that they were safe.

"Jenny, I think there are some cookies in that cabinet behind you," Harry said after the dishes had been done. "Maybe the kids would like some."

"Oh, that's so nice of you," Jenny said as she found the cookies and handed one to each child then held the bag out to the men. Tessa, who sucked on her cookie more than ate it, walked to Harry's side and climbed up into his lap, laid her head against his shoulder and sighed contentedly.

Harry looked down in surprise at the tousled head lying on his shoulder and looked up into Jenny's face. "She seems very comfortable with you, Harry. Do you have a wife or children of your own?"

"No…no, I never had children," he said wistfully as his hand absently stroked the curls of the little girl. "My…my wife died a few years ago."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Jenny said in sympathy.

"What kind of work do you do, Harry?' George asked quietly when the silence had gone on for a bit.

"Oh, I…uh…work on boats," he finally spit out.

Tessa, who still lay on Harry's shoulder, yawned mightily as her eyes closed in exhaustion and she snuggled closer to Harry who wrapped his arms about her.

"Well, I think after today's activities, sleep won't be a problem," Harry said with a small smile.

"No. That doesn't seem as though it will be a problem," Jenny agreed.

"Jenny, you and the kids are welcome to the bed in the bow. It's large enough for all of you I think," Harry said as he watched Tessa sleep.

"Oh I hate to take your bed."

"It's not a problem. The bunks, I have been assured, are quite comfortable."

"If you're sure," Jenny said. "Perhaps I should get them settled for the night." Jenny rose and took the sleeping Tessa in her arms and herded Ben to the bow cabin while George and Harry went up on deck, happy the storm and clouds seemed to have moved off.

"So you work on boats, huh?" George said as he stared up into the night sky.

"Used to. Not now," Harry said sadly.

"You know, my dad used to be in the navy. Retired more than a few years ago now. He used to serve on a submarine, The Nautilus, with a man that looks a lot like you…Harry."

Harry sighed heavily and frowned. "Coincidence?"

"I don't think so. You seem to like Navy a lot," he said gesturing to the sweatshirt and pants he wore.

"So you know who I am?"

"If you're Harriman Nelson, yes. Why the secrets?"

"I just don't want to be found right now. Kind of a…vacation from my work."

"It's all right by me. My dad talked about you a lot. He was always quite proud to say he'd served with you. Said he couldn't imagine the pressure you would have on you doing what you do."

"It's not just the pressure," he said sourly as the faces flitted through his mind. Harry was silent for a long moment, waiting until the faces left him. "Your uh…your dad would be James Swenson, right?"

"That's him! Big old Swede!"

"Ha! I remember him quite well. He's a good man."

"I'll tell him you said that. He always admired you, sir."

"Where is he now?"

"He's living up in Washington. Sails as often as he can. Where are you headed? I know if you end up in Washington, Dad would love to see you again."

Harry looked at George speculatively. "I'm not sure where I'm going now," he said in confusion. "Something kept telling me to go north but now…I don't know."

"Well, whatever it was that said come north, I'm glad you did. My family and I wouldn't be here now," George said with a catch in his voice.

Harry pondered the implications of what George had said for a moment. "I…uh…wonder if I could ask you to do something for me," Harry asked quietly after a moment lost in thought.

"Anything! I owe you my family's lives and mine."

"Tomorrow, do you think you could tell the Coast Guard some nameless man rescued you and took off?"

"I can, but why?"

"I don't want the publicity."

"And someone might see your face and know where you are?"

"Something like that. Let's just say there are some people that don't understand why I want to be alone right now."

"I imagine, sir they're worried about you."

"Yes. I know. But that doesn't change things."

"I'll keep your secret, Ad…I mean Harry."

"Thank you George. Now let's see about getting some sleep, eh?" he said slapping George on the back.

~O~

The next morning Harry, asleep in one of the bunks, awoke to the distinct feeling of being watched and something tickling his face. He opened his eyes cautiously to see Tessa, with her thumb in her mouth, and Ben by her side peering into his face.

"Good morning," Harry said with a smile.

"Morning mister," Ben said while Tessa just patted his face, rubbing her pudgy hands through his thick beard.

"Ben and Tessa, I told you not to wake him," Jenny said.

"Sorry Mama. I was hungry," Ben said unapologetically.

It was then Harry smelled the aroma of something wonderful being cooked in his small galley and he struggled to sit up, groaning as his body protested.

"Sore, Harry?" George asked as he came to sit beside him and handed him a mug of hot coffee.

"Definitely sore, George. Guess I need to work out more onboard," he groaned as he gratefully accepted the coffee and drank it greedily. Caffeine and lots of it were going to be necessary today.

After a wonderful breakfast of omelets, thick slices of bacon and toast, Harry and George went on deck to see if The Icarus had sustained any damage and saw no real harm.

"Looks like she came through the storm fine, Harry."

"Yes, it does. George what will you and Jenny do now? How will you get home?"

"We only live up in Seattle. I can call someone to drive down and pick us up. Jenny's family is up there. So is my Dad. Don't worry about us, Harry."

"I was headed north anyway, I could motor you up there. Wouldn't take too long," Harry said thoughtfully.

"Thanks, but no, Harry. The chances of people finding out who you are, are greater that way. We'll just find a place to stay until Jenny's folks can get down here."

"I don't feel right about that. You lost everything in the storm."

"Not everything," George said as he watched his kids climb up on deck and run towards him.

Harry smiled as he watched the man gather his kids to him and hug them tightly.

Later, Harry and the Swensons sailed out of the small harbor to the Coast Guard station near Cape Disappointment, where Jenny's family would meet them in a few hours. When they were a few minutes from docking, Harry made sure his boat's name and id numbers were hidden, draped by "drying" towels. Easing off on the motor, Harry let the boat drift for a moment.

"George, Jenny, I wish you both luck. You have a fine family here," Harry said warmly.

Jenny walked to him and kissed him on his bearded cheek. "You saved my family and I will always be thankful to you for that. Please, keep in touch and know that your secret is safe with us, Admiral Nelson," she said with tears in her voice.

Harry looked to George with a raised eyebrow. "She beat it out of me, sir," he said with a laugh.

"It's all right, George. You shouldn't have secrets from your wife. Be safe and I'll keep in touch when I can," he said fingering the paper they had given him with their address and contact numbers on.

"Where will you go now?" Jenny asked.

"I don't know. That urge to head north is gone," he said bewildered. "I'm thinking some tropical island sounds pretty good right now. Maybe Tahiti!"

"A lone cross Pacific sail is dangerous, Admiral," Jenny said glowering.

"Oh, I know, Jenny," Harry said with a frown. "But…I can't get the feeling out of my head to head south for some reason."

"You're going to need plenty of provisions. There aren't any places to stop on the way," George said in concern. "Sleep's gonna be hard to come by, too. Need to keep a lookout for other ships or floating obstacles. Last thing you want is to collide with a freighter or an overboard container from a ship. Or anything for that matter."

Harry sighed and nodded. He'd already thought of all that and more but couldn't shake the feeling of heading away from the coast and southwesterly.

"I know. I've thought of that and more," he said softly. "I'm going to need to resupply if I'm going to head south and the marina we were at last night didn't offer much in the way of supplies. Do you know of any stores near the Coast Guard station?"

"There's a marina not far from the station on the same side of the bay. I think there are a few stores there. Englund Marine Supply for sure and a grocery and deli. The grocery's a couple blocks back off First Avenue if I remember right. May not be the best but it's better than fishing the whole way," George joked.

"Thanks. I'll head there once I drop you off."

"Harry, it might be better if when you leave the station you head south and sail around Sand Island…come into the marina through the Ilwaco Channel. Just in case someone notices you dropping us off, they might think you were heading out of the harbor."

"Thanks. That's good advice. The last thing I need is to be spotted."

"Look, Harry if you run into trouble out there and don't think you can call your friends, you have my dad's and my numbers. Don't hesitate to contact us. We'll get you help," George said.

"Thanks George but I'll be fine. I'm rather looking forward to getting away from the coast actually and do some real sailing," he said with more than a touch of excitement in his voice.

"Contact us when you make port?" Jenny asked in concern.

"I will. Now it's time to drop you off and head out."

Harry eased The Icarus closer to the dock and tied it off. "Good luck, Harry," George said shaking his hand while Jenny gave him a hug. He looked down to see Tessa with her arms up asking for a hug which he gave her, nestling his face in her soft curls for a moment. Ben only stuck his hand out as his father had and shook Harry's vigorously.

When the family was on the dock, they turned and waved as Harry untied the ropes and cast off, motoring slowly away from the pier and to the marina they had told him about, intending to restock his food, water and other supplies before starting his long sail south and some as yet unknown tropical island. He felt good about that decision, as if something else was calling him south. He only hoped it was a good something.

Harry made his way to the marina by the circuitous route, tied up and headed for the grocery first after asking for directions. He'd done an inventory the night before of his supplies and had a list of what he thought he would need for the sail which he estimated would take between two and three weeks if he was lucky. Four if he ran into calm winds or trouble. Then he hit the marine supply store and restocked a few things, carrying them to his boat and stowing everything away. Coming back up on deck, he spotted a bookstore down at the far end of the marina, and headed off with a little smile to see what might peak his interest. There were going to be long stretches where he had nothing to do and no one to do it with. What better company than a good book?

An hour later, he carried his bag filled with books…some pleasure reading and some scientific tomes…and several more notebooks to the boat, stowed his purchases below securely and began to motor slowly out of the harbor. Checking the time, he frowned as he saw that the day was nearly gone and he decided to return to the marina he and the Swensons had moored at last night and get a good night's rest. Sleep was going to be in short supply out on the open ocean.

Mooring in the same spot he had been in the night before, Harry glanced about the small marina and spotted a restaurant that offered prime rib with all the trimmings. With a little smile, he headed off to enjoy one more night onshore.

The next day dawned with bright sunshine, waking Harry from a restful night's sleep. After a quick breakfast at a local cafe, he set about continuing his trip. Casting off the lines, he motored away from the marina and out into the bay. When he reached the inlet, he cut off the motor, checked the wind and began to raise his mainsail groaning as pain from his shoulder and back, a reminder of last night's adventures, flared through him

"Ugh, getting old, Nelson," he said ruefully as he rubbed his shoulder briefly. "A little swim in 20 foot seas and your body feels like one big ball of hurt. What I wouldn't give for a nice long soak in a warm tub full of water," he mused as he imagined sliding his aching body into said tub of very warm water and soaking his aches away. "But that's not going to happen for awhile yet. Is it?"

The allure of a warm bath pushed to the back of his mind, he finished raising his sail, set a course for a southerly clime and smiled as his boat responded.

"Well, let's see what you can do," he said to his boat.