Author's Note: Today's song is Lover Man by Ella Fitzgerald. And I just wanted to point out that I don't own any of this. If I did… Well, some episodes would be strategically different. Beta by Alice I, once again.

Warm sheets. Warm pillow. Moonlight in his eyes. Sounds seeping in from the window leading to the courtyard.

Merlin couldn't sleep. He had been tossing and turning for hours now.

One day, Merlin, I will repay you. I promise.

He had been thinking about her lately. Freya. The one person who had truly understood him. She had been so scared, and then so careful not to hope for too much. And so very beautiful, even as a winged cat.

Merlin sat up. Clearly, he wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon. He walked to the window and looked out. The shadows of the courtyard were accentuated by the moonlight. Unthinkingly, Merlin pulled on his boots and walked quietly out the door and trough the room in which Gaius was sleeping. Unlike most times he did this, he didn't push anything off the table or trip on anything. As he closed the second door behind him, he threw a quick glance at Gaius to make sure he was asleep. Then he walked trough the silent city, softening the sound of his steps with magic whenever he needed to.

He hadn't thought about where he was going, but once his feet found the path to the lake by which he had left Freya he turned on to it. He slowed down when he started seeing the water between the trees. Then it was before him, the water shining with the silver it was reflecting of the moonlight.

He sat down on the little beach and looked out at the mountains. This was the last place she had seen. He hoped it had made death easier for her. Maybe it felt like coming home. A sharp pained stabbed him as he thought of how he had sent her towards the mountains in a boat.

Where will we go?

Somewhere with mountains…

A few fields…

Wildflowers…

A couple of cows…

And a lake.

He sat there unmoving, remembering. If a silent tear or two slipped down his cheeks, he did not notice.

There must be something I can do, some way to save you!

You've already saved me. You made me feel loved.

**

Merlin blinked when the sunlight shone into his eyes. He looked around and realized that he could hear birds singing. He had sat there the whole night. He blinked again and felt the salt on his eyelashes crunch.

He got up and took a last look at the lake.

"I miss you," he said.

Then he turned around and started walking back to the castle. He had a long day ahead of him.