I was shaking... With fear. Up until now I had tried to keep this part of me locked up and hidden from the world; but now I was about to show it to the most important person in my life. What would he think of me when he knew the whole story? What would he think when he knew how messed up I really was? I decided he needed to know everything, but I was beginning to lose my nerve.
"Are you cold?" Seth said letting go of my hand and wrapping it around my waist, pulling me close.
"No, I'm fine." I whispered smiling at him, by burning hot skin must feel so weird.
"Uhhh..." He paused looking around. "Where are we going?"
I laughed softly. "You know that place where you showed me... You know." I nudged him.
"Oh yeah." He took my hand again and pushed through the last set of trees. "Here we are." He said spreading his arms out wide.
I smiled and placed a kiss on the crease were his shoulder started and his neck ended. "Sit." I instructed pointing to the log next to us. He eyed me off before reluctantly sitting. "I'll be right back." I said skipping off to the other side. The drugs that were still flowing in my system were going to make this one hell of a trip, but I needed to do this.
I crouched behind a tree, slipping my shirt off.
"If you're making fun of me, it's not cool!" Seth called out.
I laughed. "As if!" I called back.
It felt weird standing here in nothing, but I didn't want to stay in wolf form until I got home; I was going to phase, show Seth then phase back. Easy done... I hoped.
Slowly my whole body began to shake. It started with my hands, sending quivers up my arms and down my spine, ending at my toes. The blood pooled in my eyes making me see red. I felt the skin on my back tear open and then I exploded...
SethI waited for Mia to come skipping out from behind the trees. I thought for sure she was making fun of me, I could just picture her trying to sneak up on me, and I smiled. I finally had her back, and I was on top of the world. Mia, my Mia, loved me, she really did love me and I was going to do whatever it took to make her happy and safe. She was my heart, and I couldn't live without her.
"Mia?!" I called into the darkness, a low growl echoed through the space. I stood up and began to shake. "Mia?! Are you alright?" I began to walk over to where she disappeared. "Mia, this isn't funny." I strained my eyes to see through the dark, a black figure moved slowly, I took a step back shaking faster. "Mia?" I choked. Please let her be alright.
The clouds moved and the moon lit up the whole forest; I looked over to the gap in the trees, two bright black eyes started back at me.
"Mia..." I whispered, crouching down and beginning to shake faster. The figure stepped forwards quickly, light shining on its face.
I looked at the snow white wolf staring back at me...
My hand clapped over my mouth as I finally began to understand. The heat, the growth, the anger... The shaking...
Mia, my Mia, was a werewolf... A shape shifter... Like me.
We took a step forward at the same time. Mia whined and lowered her head, looking up at me, waiting for me to do something. I smiled and took a step forward. She watched me carefully, trying not to move. I laughed and bounded over to her, playfully patting her head. She growled and biffed me with her paw before licking my hand; I pushed lightly on her nose.
"Well, I wasn't expecting this." I said playing with one of her ears. She snorted before looking up at me, fear in her eyes. I tickled her under her chin. "It doesn't freak me out babe." I promised. "I'll always love you." She let her tongue fall out of her mouth before she turned away and ran back through the trees.
Well that explained a lot.
MiaOkay Mia, now all you have to do is go out there and face him... And tell him the truth; you have to tell him everything... I lifted my wrist to my mouth kissing the small tattoo; I wished she was here to help me... But she hasn't been around for years...
I took a deep breath in and walked out into the clearing. Seth was lying in the middle; looking up at the stars. I got a sudden rush of energy and rushed over to him, throwing myself across his stomach. He laughed.
"You're so cute." He said pulling me around so I was lying on top of him.
I bit down on my bottom lip. "Are you sure it doesn't..."
He cut me off. "Mia, I love you, no matter what you are..." He kissed my lips softly, leaving them hovering above mine for a minute. "I think it's kinda cool actually." He said pushing my hair out of my face.
I laughed. "Any other guy would run away screaming."
"I'm not any other guy." He reminded me.
I smiled and lowered my head to kiss him, I was about to pull away when I felt his hands slide down my back; I shivered. Seth kissed me again, this time faster and more passionate, I couldn't help but kiss him back. Our lips started to move perfectly together as I trailed my hands slowly up his arms and around his neck. His tongue traced around my lips, looking for a way in; I opened my mouth slightly allowing it in. Seth lightly pushed me over so he was now hovering over me, but I felt none of his weight. He began to kiss the line of my jaw, I giggled as he made his way down my neck and along my shoulder. I stretched my arms above my head, just waiting for him to catch on. Right now I couldn't think of anything else I wanted more than Seth.
Seth's mouth connected back with mine and I felt him place his hand gently on my stomach, pulling up my shirt, his hand slid up my side, pulling my shirt with him. I giggled again and arched my back so it would come off easier. He broke the kiss slowly and slid my shirt of the rest of the way and began planting kisses on my stomach, I moaned softly. He trailed a line of small kisses back up to my mouth, before kissing me passionately. I ran my fingers slowly down his spine leaving goose bumps.
I don't know how it happened – and really I don't care – but suddenly Seth was there, inside me and... Hmm... It felt good...
SethI watched her as she slept in my arms, she looked so tiny and innocent lying there; I ran my fingers along her jaw. She was pure perfection and I couldn't image my life without her; thinking about it just made my heart ache.
We were still lying in the opening of the forest were we had gone last night; and last night was amazing. I smiled as I watched her breath slowly; I wondered what she was dreaming about. Her little fingers dug tightly into my shirt as if to give me the answer, I wondered if I should wake her when something caught my eye.
Small black words flowed down her wrist; I lifted her hand carefully to read the tattoo engraved in her skin. 'Remiel... My savour.' It said. Who was Remiel? I could have sworn I had heard that name before, I ran my finger over the writing; my finger grazed over a small bump, I moved my finger along her wrists feeling more bumps; lifting it closer I studied her creamy white skin, tiny – almost invisible – scares cut alone her wrist, passing down her inner arm and across, leaving hacked up skin. Had Mia done this to herself? The thought made me shudder. Mia wriggled in arms beginning to wake up. She rolled closer to my sleepily and pressed her soft lips into my chest.
"Good morning." I whispered pulling her closer.
She took a deep breath in. "Morning." She yawned looking up at me. Her smiled turned into a frown when she saw my face. "What's wrong?" She asked pulling one arm out of my embrace and touching my face. I closed my eyes, rolling my head into her palm and kissing it.
"Mia... Will you tell me the truth..." I whispered into her skin.
The small V in-between her eyebrows got deeper. "Of course." She whispered.
I sighed. "Are you okay? I mean are you really okay?" I said softly, not looking at her.
"Of course I'm okay Seth." She said rubbing my face with her thumb. "I'm better than okay."
I slid my hand up to catch hers. "Then what's this?" I asked rubbing my fingers along her torn up wrist.
She yanked her hand away. "It's nothing Seth." She hissed.
I pulled us up into a sitting position and pulled her onto my lap; she hid her head in her hands.
"You can tell me anything Mia... You know that right?" I whispered.
She nodded. "I don't want to tell you Seth..." She sniffed. "I don't want you to know how screwed up I am..."
I pulled her back into me, rubbing her arms. "You're perfect." I whispered into her hair.
She snorted. "I'm far from perfect Seth... Trust me..."
"Can I help?" I asked. Right now I've never felt more helpless in my life.
"I've had a lot of help..." She hissed.
"Mia, I just want you to be happy." Tears were beginning to form in my eyes.
She struggled around so she could face me, still sitting in my lap. "I don't remember the last time I was happy Seth..." She whispered. My heart sank. "Until I met you..." She added with a small smile.
I pushed my head forward so our foreheads were touching. "I love you Mia."
She smiled. "I love you too Seth... I wish I could fix myself... You deserve someone better than me."
I chuckled. "I don't even deserve you."
She laughed. "I'm messed up Seth... It's like I'm so broken I'm not sure that there are enough pieces to put me back together." She whispered, her eyes closed. "I've been on every type of medication they can think of, I've had people telling me what's wrong with me and how I can fix it, I've been admitted to hospital twice against my will because I beat up my own mother and I was too drunk and high to remember it, I cut myself to shreds in front of my sister more than once and every time I close my eyes I see things that doesn't even belong in hell... Everything just builds up on me and sometimes I just have to get the fuck out..." Her tears dropped on to my arms as I held her close. "But I can't... And I don't know why..." She sobbed.
I pulled her in tighter smoothing down her hair. "Shhhh..." I soothed. "It'll be okay."
She sniffed. "How do you know that Seth!? How could you possibly know that?!" She cried even harder.
I cradled her face in my hands, whipping away her tears with my thumb. "Because I'm never going to leave you Mia... Where ever you go, I'll go with you... You and I, we're a package deal."
She looked into my eyes. "You really love me that much?" She asked breathless.
I smiled softly. "Mia, you are the only thing in my life that matters. As long as you're alive, then so am I."
"Seth I..."
I pressed my finger to her lips. "I'll follow you anywhere." I promised and then kissed her lips again.
MiaHe was always in my dreams. Taunting me, laughing at me... Killing me...
I wish it were that simple... Death. God knows I have thought about it more than once, he knows that I have tried repeatedly but nothing works.
He stands over me as I watch him from my strapped position; I'm so close to cutting him like butter but I can't get free.
The beeping noise next to me is annoying, making me shake with rage; this he finds interesting and writes in down in his stupid little book.
I want to dig my teeth into his neck and snap! I growl with effort, the restraints cutting my wrists.
He walks over to his small table and pulls out something, I can't see it, I try to lift my head but even that is pressed down.
He turns around a moment later, reaching for my arm; the crease under my elbow begins to sting as he presses the tip of the needle into my skin, breaking it instantly; my vision begins to blur then everything goes black.
I have to tell Seth...