The air is cool, about 70 degrees I'd guess. I decided to lie down on my back beside Austin, but I won't fall asleep, I won't let myself fall asleep. I force my eyes to stay open, focusing on a lonely star above me. I know that Austin said he wouldn't be able to sleep either, but I can tell he's tired and is trying to stay up as hard as I am, but he is in and out of consciousness now, and can hear his loud breathing.
I want to be back at the plane, I bet they are all upset that we're gone. They probably think we're dead or something. I bet the twins are crying, and Frank is probably freaking out too. But we'll be back tomorrow, right? I sure hope so.
Austin's body twitches slightly next to me and he sits up, "Are you okay?" I ask him.
"Yeah, I just had one of those dreams where I'm falling." He says.
"Those suck." I say.
"That they do. I tried not to fall asleep but I failed." He says, and sighs.
"It's okay. It's hard. But come back please." I say.
He looks down at me and smiles. He lies back down on his back and rolls over on his side. There are noises from different insects around us, and there sort of soothing, since I'm used to them because I sleep right next to the window in the plane. But I just wish I had a roof over my head.
Austin lies with his hand supporting his head and he stares at me with a small smile on his face. I give him an odd look, "What's your deal?" I ask him as nicely as that can sound.
"I can't look at you? You're beautiful you know." He says.
I bring my eyes down to the blanket, and try to hide the blush creeping onto my cheeks. I don't know what to say to such a compliment from a boy like him. No matter what he says, I don't know why he'd ever be interested in a girl like me.
"Can I ask you something?" I say to him after a few moments of silence.
He nods, and then I realize I don't know what I am actually going to ask. I can't find the right words. I wish I hadn't found the words to even ask him if I can ask him; wow I am such an idiot. I don't say anything, I just open my mouth, let it hang there for a moment and then shut it. I close my eyes and shake my head.
"What?" He asks me.
"Nothing; never mind." I say.
"I hate how you seem like you can't talk to me." He says and rolls over onto his back again, staring at the star.
"I have a hard time talking to a lot of people." I say. He doesn't respond though, and I know I've frustrated him. I can't deal with him not talking to me again, or not talking right now, out here, like this.
"I'm sorry." I whisper.
He rolls over and faces me again, staring at my eyes, "It's okay." He says. He doesn't take his eyes off me, and I keep my eyes on him, no matter how much I wanted to bring them down to the blanket. I wait for him to say something, but he doesn't. Instead, he inches closer to me. Our faces are just barely an inch apart and he presses his lips to mine as he puts his hand on my cheek.
He kisses me hard, and his lips are cold feeling. I kiss him back, and our lips move together for about 10 seconds until I pull away. I lie back again and stare at the stars, and sigh. Austin stays in his position, his face full of confusion.
"Did I do something wrong?" He asks.
"Why did you kiss me?" I ask him.
"I thought you wanted to…" He starts but I interrupt him.
"No, I mean before we crashed." I say. The silence fills the air quickly and he lies on his back close beside me and follows my gaze to the stars.
It's the question that's been lingering in my mind this whole time, and his kiss just now made me remember it, and I just want to know. Or should I have even asked?
"I thought we were going to die." He whispers.
I don't say anything back, because I don't think it's a fair answer really. I want a real explanation. Why would he decide to kiss me because he thought we were going to die? He could have went and kissed anymore, or you know, not kissed anyone, because while thinking that I was about to die, kissing someone was at the top of my priorities.
Eventually, he catches on to my non-reply and speaks again, "Well, as we were falling, I thought we were going to die. Like, I was really scared. And all I could think about during that awful time was… you."
I get this weird feeling, like a warm feeling inside me, at those words. Don't girls dream about guys saying such sweet things to them like this? Especially from a boy that looks like Austin Moon. I almost think I'm dreaming, but If I was dreaming, I'd wake up in my bed, and nothing between Austin and I would have ever happened, would I like that idea or not?
"Really?" is all I can get out to ask. I can never find words at times like these, especially when I'm talking to a boy.
"Yes. You're really special to me Ally; I'd do anything for you. I'd die for you." He says.
"But, we've barely talked back home." I whisper, holding back tears. How can he say such amazing words to me?
"I know, but there's just something about you. I can't help it." He says.
I stay silent, and choke back my tears trying to escape me. I don't know why I'm so upset. I think because of many reasons. First, we're stranded here, and I miss my home. Second, Austin and I are now away from the others, and having to sleep here tonight. Third, Austin Moon's being beyond sweet to me and I don't know how to react. Fourth, I don't want to die here. And I could go on.
I hold back the tears so hard but a small noise comes out of me and gives me away. Austin rolls over and faces me and I cover my mouth with my hand. But my trembling body is hard to hide.
"Ally what is wrong?" He asks with fear in his eyes.
"I-I d-d-don't know." I stutter.
"Is it something I said, I didn't mean to upset you." He says.
I shake my head, "It i-isn't. I just am scared of everything." I say, finally gathering myself together.
"Don't be scared. I'm here." He says.
He wraps his arm around me and pulls me to him. I bury my face in his chest and embrace his warmth. He really is my protector. I don't know how I'd survive out here without him. If this wouldn't have happened, Austin and I would have never gotten this close, and now I think I believe the saying, 'everything happens for a reason'.