Chapter 5, part 1

The Prometheus returned to its hangar at the Groom Lake facility for an overhaul. Not only the engine and shields needed proper fixing; all sorts of systems were to be tested and patched up, and the hull itself had to be repaired, too. It was painfully obvious that the ship would spend a lot of time on Earth, and so the 302 drivers were all redistributed amongst different places and jobs while their carrier was being restored. Four of them were sent back to McMurdo (Alice thanked her stars that she wasn't among them), another three went to some off-world bases, and the remaining five stayed in Groom Lake to train with the pilots assigned to the X-304. Alice couldn't help but feel glad about it. She had practice sorties two to three times a week, and in the meantime she was working along Doctor Novak and other engineers on repairing the Prometheus, and sneaking up to the X-304 after her shift's ended. The construction of the ship was halted due to unforeseen incompatibility of some systems; Doctor Decker and her team were working tirelessly on fixing that, with occasional help from the Asgard, Hermiod.

"I'm pretty sure he knows exactly what we need to get it done in a blink of an eye," Decker said irritably to Alice one afternoon, for the third time this day trying to adjust the sub-routine to get the Asgard core to cooperate with their close-circuit internal communication programming.

"Why wouldn't he say anything, though?" Alice doubted, without looking up from a patch of code she was examining. "He knows it's critical for us to get to the Pegasus as soon as possible."

"Oh, I'm convinced he wants us to get the answers," Decker scoffed. "And he doesn't really care about the possibility of our people dying in another galaxy. And why would he? He's not human."

Alice didn't have an answer to that, but she doubted an Asgard could be so inconsiderate. From all that she's heard about the race, they were way further along on the civilization path than the humans of Earth.

Getting stuck at Groom Lake for a few weeks had also another advantage: she could hang out with Archer and Spinner again. She made a point to go out with them in the evening at least twice a week; it was hard for her, what with her being an extreme introvert, but she forced herself to go every time, and always wound up enjoying herself in the end, even though she usually made an early exit.

"It's that animal magnetism of ours," Archer told her in a serious tone when she confessed to her predilection for them one night at the base club. "You just can't resist."

"Yeah, you're slightly less repellent than the others, that's why," she teased awkwardly. She never knew how to react to these kinds of remarks; she was reasonably sure Archer was just pulling her leg, but she had an absolute zero experience in flirting, so how would she know if he were hinting at something? Could there be something between us? She thought and grimaced. No way. Archer was too much like her brother to ever interest her in that way. And Spinner was just too damn old for her. Honestly, almost everyone on the base was too old for her, though.

"Oh, now you're just hurting our feelings here, Boyd!" He chuckled and took a swig of beer, draining the glass. "I'm gonna get some more drinks. Anyone wants anything?"

Alice finished her wine with a last sip and nodded.

"I'll take a Martini, dry," she told him.

He made a face at her.

"Are you old enough to drink, though?" He laughed when she rolled her eyes at him. "Spinner, anything?"

"Nah, I'm good, mate," Spinner raised his half-full glass to illustrate his point. "So, Alice, got any plans for the weekend?"

"Oh, I don't know, I think I'll just stay on the base…"

"Again?" Spinner shook his head disapprovingly. "You know there's more to life than fighters and engines, right?"

She smiled crookedly.

"Yeah, there are also shields and code…"

He snorted, but his eyes were serious.

"You've gotta get out there sometime, girl. You'll burn yourself out if all you do is work." He raised his hand to stop her from interrupting him. "I know you like it and it doesn't feel like work, but trust me, it will take a toll on ya sooner or later. You're young and you want to learn, and that's good, but you've gotta just kick back and relax sometimes, too. Let your brain breathe freely for a while."

"I know, I know… it's just – it's so boring when I try to do that…" She complained. Spinner gave a hearty laugh at that.

"Clearly, you're not doing the right things then!"

"What right things?" Archer was back with another glass of beer and Alice's Martini, which he handed to her before stepping to the side and revealing someone standing beside him. "Look what I found at the bar!"

It was Espinoza; he was wearing his blues, but he was missing a tie and the top button of his shirt was popped open. He had a beer in his hand, too.

"Hi guys. Don't be ridiculous, sit down!" He said as both Alice and Spinner started scrambling up to stand at attention. "We're all off-duty."

"So, what right things?" Archer prompted as he and Espinoza made themselves comfortable at the table.

"We were just talking about things to do during the weekend," Spinner explained. "Alice here seems to be under the impression that looking at engines all day is the best option to go for."

"Well, engines are more interesting than you guys, for instance," Alice joked. "Sorry, sir. I meant these two knuckleheads." She told Espinoza, gesturing to Spinner and Archer.

"Ouch," he said with a smile. "But as much as I like your attitude towards learning and engines and all that crap, they're right. You can't spend all your time at work. And don't tell me that's not work. You know better than that."

"But I like to do that!"

"I like to fly fighters," Espinoza scolded her merrily. "Doesn't mean I should be doing that every waking moment of my life. You gotta let your mind rest a bit." He raised his eyebrows, seeing her expression. "I can make that an order if you prefer."

"Oh, that's not fair, sir!" She said, now really irked. Were they really going to dictate her what she was supposed to do in her free time now? Fuck you if you do, she though irritably.

Espinoza raised his hands in a don't blame me gesture.

"I'm kidding, Boyd," he puffed. "Well, sort of. You do whatever you want. But you really should keep some balance, you know?"

She rolled her eyes again, but didn't reply. What else was she supposed to be doing during the weekends? It's not like there was a wide choice here. She didn't really like watching TV. She went to the movies very rarely. She supposed she could read some books – maybe fiction, for a change, instead of science books? Or she could go hiking. Then she remembered they were in the middle of a Nevada deserts and there weren't many hiking paths around. What else was there to do?

"What are you doing in the weekend, then, sir?" Archer interceded, sparing Alice the need to find a suitable continuation to the conversation.

"I thought I'd go to Vegas," Espinoza revealed, sipping his beer. "There's a band I like playing there on Saturday."

Oh, wow. It was so weird to hear a lieutenant colonel speak about going to see a music gig. As if he were a normal guy, and not someone… better. How is he better, exactly? Alice asked herself sharply. He's just older, and higher up in the hierarchy, that's all. He was just a guy. She shouldn't be surprised to see him have a normal life.

"What band?"

"Dead Man's Eyes," Espinoza replied. Alice looked up at him with raised eyebrows, her moment of annoyance already forgotten. "They're quite new but very cool."

"What are they playing?" Archer continued his interrogation.

"Sort of a mix of classic and indie rock with a dash of punk," Espinoza laughed. "It's rather hard to pinpoint. You should hear the drummer, he's wicked." His eyes glowed. He was more agitated than Alice has ever seen him before. She snickered, looking down to hide it. "The lead is great, too. He has a very peculiar tone, though. Sort of smooth but growly? It's weird."

"So is that it, sir? Music, your thing?" Spinner put in. "You seem uncharacteristically excited about this band… what was its name again? Dead Guy's Eyes?"

"Dead Man's Eyes. Yeah, I guess it is my thing," Espinoza allowed with a smile. "My father was a musician, he's never made it big, but we lived off his music career, so I guess it's part of me now."

"It's a ridiculous name, though, Dead Man's Eyes," Archer opined.

"It's not ridiculous," Alice protested with a grin she could no longer suppress. "It has its own story. I didn't know they were going to play in Vegas, that's good to know. Thank you, sir. I think I know what I'm gonna be doing during the weekend, after all!"

The three of them stared at her for a moment. She just continued to beam at them silently.

"You know the band?" Espinoza asked eventually.

She nodded vivaciously.

"Oh, yeah. We grew up together." Her grin widened as she took in Espinoza's bewildered expression. "The lead singer? That's Aaron, my best friend from childhood. He lived a couple houses down my street. We used to spend hours upon hours in his garage, me, my brother Jake, Aaron, and their friends Curtis, Ian and Zach. Zach's the drummer and I agree, he's probably the best musician of the whole lot," she told Espinoza. "They had gotten a new guitar player, Jeff, when my brother went off to join the Marine Corps, and that's how the band was born."

"Wow." Espinoza whistled. "What a coincidence that you should know them, and they're one of my favorite bands now."

"What's with the name, though?" Archer interrupted, clearly perplexed. "Dead Man's Eyes?"

"You know the old saying, 'to steal pennies off a dead man's eyes', right?" Alice didn't stop grinning. "It means to be very untrustworthy and mean. I once used that to describe Aaron after he pushed me off a ladder."

"He pushed you off a ladder?"

"Yes, but only because I dared him to."

Archer looked at her, dumbstruck.

"Aaron's generally a very good guy," she explained. "And one day, I don't remember why, we got to call him Fuzzyron for some reason… anyway he got mad and he said he could be very mean when he wanted to. So I dared him to do something really mean. We were up on a tree house we'd built, and Aaron pushed me off a ladder. I broke a few ribs pretty nastily. And so for the next couple of months I'd go around and tell anybody who was willing to listen how mean Aaron was, mean enough to steal coins off a dead man's eyes." Alice shrugged. "I was only joking, but Aaron was really bummed about it. The phrase stuck, though, and eventually became the name of the band."

Archer was chortling quietly from halfway into her story. Spinner was shaking his head good-naturedly and Espinoza was snickering into his beer.

"Crazy, but I guess it fits that sort of band, doesn't it?" The younger captain said once he regained enough composure to stop laughing. "So you're gonna go to Vegas, too, Boyd? Maybe you guys could go together?"

There was a twinkle in his eyes as he said it. Alice felt a bout of panic; go with Espinoza to Vegas? That was like, five or six hours drive. She didn't mind going to a concert with him, but all that time, alone in a car with him…? What would they talk about? Or would there be just awkward silence between them? The very thought made her blood chill. Any social interaction was hard enough, but to be stuck inside a vehicle for hours and hours with a ranking officer, pretending to be nice and affable, trying to find topics of conversation and, even worse, small-talk. She sucked at small-talk. No way, she thought with dismay.

She looked up to Espinoza. He was watching her with a thoughtful expression, and suddenly she remembered that he was more like her than anyone else; generally quiet and introverted, he too hated pointless chit-chat, spoke only when he had something interesting to say and felt best in a restful silence. And yet, as he has just proved, he could get excited for something, too. And music! That was one topic they had in common besides work, wasn't it?

Alice was surrounded by music ever since she was little. It was all because of Aaron, of course; he had known he wanted to be a musician at the ripe age of six; and he worked tirelessly towards that goal, sucking his friends into his world full of melodies and lyrics. Jake was especially entranced, and it had seemed, for a while, that he would follow Aaron's lead into this career. But then their father died and Jake gradually changed his mind and eventually decided to enter the service. Still, their entire childhood was filled with music of all kinds and it continued to be Alice's big fascination.

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea," Espinoza said after a short pause in the conversation. "We'd save up on gas that way for sure. Unless you mind having company?" He raised his eyebrows slightly, his lips sealed in a tight smile.

"No, not at all," she replied, more truthfully than she would have expected. "Thank you, sir."

He nodded.

"Well, at least my wife can't say that I'm being a loner again," he confessed with a pretend indignation in his voice. "She claims I'm not sociable enough. I tell her I'm sociable enough at my job, I don't need to do it after hours, too. The truth is, I don't really enjoy her little neighbourhood parties, but hey, I'm just a husband, aren't I? I need to heed the orders of the superior officer at home."

Spinner and Archer laughed heartily and Alice feigned a smile, too, but she was actually a bit shocked. Espinoza had a wife! Why was it so surprising for her? The guy must have been around forty years old, surely he had a family! It was just so… human. She was used to thinking of her superior officers – especially COs – as some supernatural beings, omniscient and all-powerful, and that made them somehow… artificial. Like they were not real people with lives and wives and children, with interests and dislikes, with fears… To think that your CO could be scared of anything was very disconcerting indeed. She realized, of course, how ridiculous and irrational was this kind of thinking, but never knowing any officers above the rank of captain more personally – with the exception of her father and uncle, of course, but they didn't count – she never had a chance to see them as so down-to-earth, everyday men… so human. Lieutenant Colonel Espinoza was the first senior officer not related to her that she had a chance to observe outside work, just chilling with a beer, enjoying himself, even confiding in his colleagues… Was this it, then? The famous tightness of the community in the Air Force? She wondered. Commanders socializing with their people, ranking officers not minding not being called sir all the time, sipping beer and Martini in a club after hours, making plans together?

Was this how normal people lived?

The crowd was still howling and hooting in hoarse voices, sweat pouring down everybody's faces, fists punching the air, some people still swaying and dancing on the spot, others shaking their heads in rhythm with the music, now broadcast from the speakers, band gone from the stage. Slowly, very slowly, the throng began to thin out as more and more people were slipping out from the hall, fleeing the moist and stuffy air inside in favor of the cold bite outside.

Alice and Espinoza were standing close to the edge of the room, out of the way of the crowd. This vantage point gave them clear visibility of the stage without forcing them into the wild mob that had overtaken the space directly in front of it, which suited both of them just fine. They both enjoyed the music and – to some extent – the positive energy flowing from the crowd, but were introvert enough not to want to share in it too much.

Alice had found that all her fears have been unfounded. Espinoza turned out to be the perfect traveling companion. He didn't mind the long periods of silence that stretched between them in the car as he drove up the lonely little roads issuing from the Groom Lake facility and meandering through the dull Nevada scenery, enlivened only once they got closer to Las Vegas; he turned on his car radio and changed records often, happy to show her his favorite bands and musicians. They spoke only to comment on music and didn't talk much about anything else, least of all – work. Alice, to her amazement, found it rather refreshing. Maybe Spinner was right; maybe she did need to purge her mind with meaningless activities from time to time. Was that what relax was all about? Never before she felt any need for it, yet now it was strangely stimulating. It allowed her brain to go blank for a while, followed by a sort of stream-of-consciousness, disorganized musings that led her to some new and even startling realizations. For starters, for the first time since she's left home for college, she thought she actually had friends. What else could she call Archer and Spinner? They were more than just colleagues; you didn't hang out with colleagues after hours as often as they did. And in her line of work, socializing liberally with ranking officers, not calling them sir all the time, not minding teasing them or laughing at them outright… it was something she's never know before. But it ran deeper than that: these two have become her confidants and she actually trusted them with her thoughts and opinions, she shared stories from her childhood voluntarily, sometimes even revealed her feelings – something she usually kept hidden well beneath layers and layers of pretense and indifference. She had learned very early on that showing emotion and speaking of your feelings made you vulnerable, and in her world vulnerable equaled weak, it tagged you as a target.

Was Espinoza her friend, too? He was certainly more compatible with her than Archer and Spinner; the two captains were too exuberant and extraverted. And yet she didn't mind those qualities in them; quite the opposite, she enjoyed Archer's brash and mocking tease and Spinner's hearty and kind sense of humor. Maybe there was something in the saying that the opposites attract. Where that left Espinoza? Alice didn't know, but she had to admit she didn't mind having him around in the slightest. Bolton or Cox intimidated her and made her feel out of place. With Espinoza she could almost forget that he was three ranks and almost twenty years her senior. She did continue to call him sir, but she felt closer and somehow more personal with him than any other CO she's ever had – not that there were many of them, anyhow.

"That was epic," Espinoza now shouted over the clamor of the crowd and music. "I had no idea they've written so many new songs since the last record!"

Alice grinned at him and gestured towards the stage.

"Do you want to meet the band, sir?" She cried, but her voice was too high-pitched and weak to pierce through the hubbub.

"What?" Espinoza bellowed, his own voice straining to raise over the noise.

She shook her head and waved at him to follow her. Turning on her heel, she led him through the thinning mass of people closer to the stage and then to the left, where an unimposing little door must have led backstage, since that's where the band disappeared to. A tall and broad-shouldered man in a suit stood there and surveyed a group of (mostly) female fans, all clad in black, who were hovering near him and apparently trying to convince him to let them pass.

"I'll pay you," one of them said desperately. Her voice was shrill enough to pierce right through the noise – which was now dying away anyway. "I'll give you fifty bucks if you let me in! Just for a moment, I just want to give a letter to Aaron, pleaaaaase…"

The guard offered her a disgruntled look but kept his silence and professional outlook. Alice slipped through the pack of girls and stood at the front. She glanced back to see Espinoza floating on the edge of the group, apparently not willing to approach for now. Then she examined the girls pressing around her. It hit her that they looked and acted very young, like teenagers, but they must have been around her age, some even older. The one who wanted to bribe the guard was wearing a black mini-skirt and a halter top, decorated with a blood-red rose pinned to the strap, and, looking around, Alice saw that almost all of them showed more skin than she thought decent. You fucking prude, she laughed at herself inwardly. She was certainly sticking out, what with her midnight blue jeans, dark green sleeveless shirt, minimal makeup and orange hair haphazardly pinned up in a messy bun. Suddenly she felt old; a very unfamiliar feeling for her. But how could she not? These girls, all vying to steal one look at their favorite musician, would go back the next day to their little lives, perhaps spending Sunday tending to a (real or moral) hangover, perhaps going out with friends or enjoying brunch with their families, and then they'd go back to school or work, or to just doing nothing, nothing of importance… what were their lives worth? What was all that compared to what was out there? The threats, the enemies, the discoveries, the unknown… could anything on Earth match up to that?

But that was a very dangerous kind of thinking. It led to arrogance and vanity, and so Alice willed herself to stop this train of thoughts, to banish them from her mind. You are not better than them, you fucktard, she told herself angrily. You're just lucky to have a few special abilities, but had you been born without them, you'd be just like them. Nothing special about you.

She shook her head infinitesimally and focused on the task at hand.

"Hi," she said to the guard; by now the majority of the attendees have left the room and the noise decreased greatly, so her voice was finally audible, although she still had to strain it considerably. "Could you please go backstage and tell the band that Allie's here?"

The guard threw her a dismissive look.

"You don't think anybody already tried to pass as a friend of a band member?" He spat with disdain.

"Oh, I'm sure they did," she agreed cheerfully, put up her index finger in a please wait gesture and fished out her phone from her purse. She flipped it open and browsed to the gallery. Then she handed the phone to the man. He took it and squinted – the picture quality was rather low, especially that it was just a mobile. "The redheads are me and my brother Jake, and the man behind us is my dad. It's been something like eight years since that photo was taken, but I think you can recognize the fourth person?"

The guard looked up at her in surprise. The picture was taken outside Aaron's old house on the street where they all grew up, and the then-fifteen year old was boasting his brand new guitar for the photo. Alice had it saved up on her phone because it was the last picture ever taken of her dad. Her mom had been the one holding the camera.

The girls around gaped at her with mouths hanging slightly open as the guard returned the phone to Alice and moved to open the door for her. She waved at Espinoza who crossed the crowd gingerly, trying not to touch anybody, and they both entered a poorly lit corridor leading backstage.

There was another door on the other side, slightly ajar. Now that they've been cut off from the noise in the concert hall, they could hear the low murmur of voices coming from inside. Alice pushed the door and stepped into the brightly lit room.

It was sparsely furnished. There was a low glass table in the middle, surrounded by a couple of sofas and armchairs, a wide wardrobe against one of the walls and a huge stereo leaning across another. Six people – six men – were sitting down around the table. They all looked up when Alice entered, Espinoza a step behind her.

"Allie!" A universal cry of surprise issued from five throats as they scrambled off their feet. They looked exhausted and sweaty, but their enthusiasm was genuine. A moment later she was swallowed up in a bear hug.

"Zach, I need to breathe," she complained good-naturedly and the drummer let her go, laughing. He wasn't quite as big as Jake, but still his bulk overshadowed everyone else in the room.

The others were there already, extending arms to shake her hand or pat her shoulders. The last was Aaron who smiled widely and hugged her, too, although his tall and lean frame could not overwhelm her the same way Zach could.

"Guys," Alice said after they all took a step back, "this is Lieutenant Colonel Pedro Espinoza, he was my CO during training and now commands a sister-squadron where I am based."

"Hi," Espinoza said phlegmatically with a ghost of a smile. "Big fan."

"Are you?" Aaron raised his eyebrows. Alice elbowed him – he stood closest to her – and he shook his head and extended his hand. Espinoza took it. "Nice to hear that. Come, sit down with us… oh, by the way, this is Donald, our new agent."

A sixth man, who stayed in the back during the greeting session, waved his hand at them. He was a scrawny little guy with a few gray strings contrasting with his otherwise black hair. He was around Espinoza's age.

"Hi," he said to Alice. "You must be Allie. Heard a lot about you."

"Don't believe a word Aaron told you about me," she warned playfully and, without waiting for invitation, plopped down on a couch. The rest took their cue from her and sat down, including Espinoza, who chose an armchair on the other side of the table.

"So how did you like the concert?" Curt asked and they both assured him it was great.

"The new songs are really rad," Alice opined. "Some of them are definitely better than your first album, although they need a bit of polishing before you can record them."

"We're still working on this material," Ian admitted. "Aaron is taking his sweet time with the lyrics…"

"Wouldn't kill you to pitch in every once in a while," Aaron picked up a candy wrapper from the table and threw it in Ian's direction, but it fell short.

"Pitiful." Ian shook his head.

"Which new song do you guys like the most?" Curt was always eager for praise.

"I think Over the horizon is possibly the best song I've heard in a while," Espinoza answered in a serious tone. "It has a great melody, the bridge is awesome, and I just love what you do after the second stanza." He inclined his head towards Zach. The drummer beamed at him in response. "Plus, it has great lyrics."

"Why am I not surprised?" Alice chuckled. The song could be interpreted as a sort of an ode to duty, service and brotherhood, three things that military pilots were no strangers to.

"It's one of our first songs we've ever wrote," Aaron put in. He was sitting next to Alice on the couch, his elbows on his knees and his head resting on his joined hands. "We must have been, what? Sixteen?"

"Yeah, except you wrote it yourself and we've just polished it now that we decided to do it for serious," Ian amended. "But I remember the first time we played it, it was in your garage under that freakishly red light, remember?"

"Sure I remember," Aaron nodded. "You didn't even stay to hear the entire song," he said accusingly to Alice. She flung up her hands.

"I had an exam the next day!" She defended herself. "But I've heard it enough times in the year after. You stopped playing it after my dad died, though."

She caught an interested look Espinoza threw her. His eyebrow was infinitesimally raised.

"Yeah, he was the whole inspiration for the song. Remember when he used to give us lectures on honor and duty?"

Alice smiled a bit wistfully.

"Yeah, I remember."

For a moment, there was silence. Then Donald the agent got up from his seat and took out a case of beer from the wardrobe behind them and started offering cans to the band members and guests.

"Thanks, but I need to drive tonight." Espinoza shook his head when Donald reached him.

"So? Come on, it's just one beer…"

"Thanks, but no." He was adamant.

"Take a cab instead." The agent shrugged.

"Not really a cab-achievable distance." Espinoza smiled. "We'll be driving for a few hours."

"You kidding, right?" Zach was the first to react. "It's almost midnight, you can't drive now!"

"I'm not scared of the darkness," the colonel snorted.

"But you're tired, what if you fall asleep at the wheel?"

"I won't."

"But…"

"Zach, stop." Alice interfered. "You're forgetting whom you are talking to. We know a thing or two about driving."

"You drive planes, not cars, though." Zach wouldn't let go.

"Same difference. We know how to act under pressure and fatigue."

"But that means that you're based somewhere near, but it ain't Nellis!" Aaron said in a lower voice, speaking only to Alice now. Espinoza heard, though, and their eyes met for a moment. He then was asked something by Jeff and they lapsed into two simultaneous conversations.

"Near is a relative thing," Alice hedged.

"Allie!"

"There are several bases within driving distance," she added, not looking at him. This was always the hard part. "It goes really fast on the interstate."

"You're saying that because you're hinting at something or you're trying to misdirect my train of thoughts?"

Shit, this guy knew her too well.

"Why don't you just tell me? Is it a secret?"

She continued to look away, not saying anything, which was in itself answer enough.

"I see."

The clear disappointment in his voice cut her heart in two, but she couldn't do anything about it. It was time to change the subject.

"How is Jeanie?" She asked, looking up with interest. Aaron grimaced and Zach, who sat on the same couch, laughed.

"You just touched a sore spot," he snorted. "Aaron's been having a bit of a domestic problem lately. Personally, I think it's for the best. Never liked that bitch."

"Shut up."

"Why? What happened?"

"Well… we're on tour, right?" Aaron began reluctantly. "But we had a break, we were supposed to spend it in San Francisco, but I decided to give her a surprise… so I dropped in LA, went to her apartment, and what I found there?"

"Well?"

"She has a child."

Alice felt her jaw drop. "What!" She didn't expect that.

"You heard me. She has a little brat that she failed to mention to me for the last fucking year!" Aaron was getting angry, a vein in his neck pulsating wildly. "We've been dating for thirteen months, and I find out now and by accident that she has a four-year old son!"

"What did you do?"

"We had a fight, what do you think?"

"But what are you going to do now?"

Aaron was silent for a moment.

"I don't know. I thought I loved her, and I kinda feel that I still do, but… how can you be with someone who's been lying to you for so long?" He shook his head. "And about what! Only the most important part of her life!"

Alice felt a bit uneasy. She herself had no child, but for her, work was the most important thing, and wasn't she lying about it to her best friend? But what else was there to do? She couldn't say anything, and the longer she could avoid hiding behind the cruel sorry, it's classified, the better. Wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

The road back passed in silence, broken only by the vroom of the engine and steady flow of music from the car stereo. Despite her earlier claim, they were both tired. Thankfully, for them silence was not an issue. They both felt pretty comfortable not speaking, each of them engrossed in their own thoughts. Alice sat looking out the window into the uniform blackness of the night until the sky over the horizon began slowly turning midnight blue, then bluish grey, and then it lit up with pale orange and pink of the sun's first rays. A new day was dawning over the vast, barren uplands that surrounded the Groom Lake facility. Despite the bleakness of the landscape, the view took her breath away. The play of light and shadow over the rocks and valleys, the colors of the sky on the horizon, and the staggering stillness of the scenery, devoid of life, were simply astonishing; enough to break through her reverie and wake her up to the fact that they were almost there.

The rest of their visit backstage had gone in a nice and friendly atmosphere. Aaron had poured out his grievances to her and they discussed his options; she tried not to suggest anything and let him take the decision entirely on his own. She's never really met Jeanie, but she knew that he was pretty serious about her, and the fact that she was hiding a child from him must have shaken him good. The only thing she had told him out-front was to take a step back and try to examine it without emotions. He'd laughed at her for that. We're talking about a relationship, Allie, he'd said. It's entirely made up of emotions. She asked herself what she'd do in his situation and had to admit that she didn't have a clue; she's never been in a relationship. She could analyze the situation using reason and cold logic, but she had no idea what kind of emotions were involved and how she'd react if it happened to her.

It was nearly two in the morning when they finally left the band (minus Donald the agent who had checked out shortly after midnight). Beside Aaron's relationship problems, they'd talked about everything old friends talk about when they get together after some time apart: music, the band's U.S. tour, their new album-in-the-making, how things were back in LA, their families and common friends. Aaron and Zach had kept inquiring about Alice's work and she had strained to find ways to defer their curiosity with clever dodges, misdirection, humor and some generalities that she could safely confess. Espinoza had talked little, but his remarks had always been to the point and soon enough he had earned the band's total acceptance and even admiration when they had found out who was his father – apparently some local NY rocker who's never made it big, but was a source of inspiration for countless musicians who happened to tread the Big Apple's rock paths. At any rate, the colonel had seemed to enjoy himself, too.

It was almost eight when Espinoza finally pulled over in front of the apartment building where Alice had her quarters. He got out of the car with her.

"Thank you, sir, for the ride," she said and smiled a bit tiredly at him.

"Not at all," he answered politely. "Thank you for inviting me backstage. It was nice to meet the band. They're rather interesting people."

"Yes, they are," she agreed. "I'm glad you think so, sir. It would have been awkward if I introduced them to you and they turned out to be boring and unimpressive."

He smiled his signature tight-lipped smile.

"Indeed. You wouldn't believe how many musicians are unimpressive. I've met my share of them when I was a boy and I tagged along my dad to his gigs and parties."

"He let you go with him to the rocker parties?"

"I didn't say anything about him letting me go, I believe. My sister and I always found a way, though."

Alice chuckled.

"Sounds a lot like me, my brother and Aaron in our time."

"Aaron seems to be very attached to you."

"He is. And so am I to him." Alice nodded solemnly. "We don't see each other much anymore, what with our separate careers, but we're still good friends. He's a like a second brother to me."

"You think it's reciprocal?"

She looked at him in surprise, frowning. What was he implying?

"Sure. You don't think so?"

"You don't think he might look at you in a… different way?" The tone he used was enough to indicate what way he meant.

"No." She shook her head, the crease between her brows deepening. "There's nothing like that between us. We've known each other since I was three and he was six. You spend so much time with someone, the mere thought of anything… carnal… between you is kinda gross." She wrinkled her nose like she smelled something bad.

Espinoza hmphed, but didn't look convinced.

"Anyway… it was a nice change to go out like that." He inclined his head, almost in a bow. "And now I suggest we both go and sleep until we wake up. We should be sharp back at work on Monday."

"Yes, sir. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Allie."

Espinoza got back into his car, leaving her on the sidewalk, still surprised at his question and even more so at his calling her Allie. He must have picked it up from the band. Nobody but her family and childhood friends called her Allie.

She walked into her building and got onto the elevator, suddenly aware of the hour and the fact that she was coming back home in the same clothes as she left yesterday, with dark rings under her eyes and disheveled hair. If anyone saw her now they'd draw the only possible conclusion. Fuck. She looked out on the corridor before stepping out from the elevator to see if it was empty. Typical. I'm probably the first ever virgin doing the fucking walk of shame. Oh, the gossip that would start if someone saw her now… there were at least two other pilots and three scientists who knew her living on her floor. She exhaled with relief once she got safely inside her apartment.

She mulled over Espinoza's last remark as she prepared a bath for herself. Was it possible that Aaron…? No. No way. She knew him very well, she's seen him with several different girls, heard him talk about half a dozen others (he was always a popular guy), but there was never anything to suggest that he was in any way interested in her. She treated him like a brother and she was absolutely sure that he thought of her as his little sister. He'd said so countless times.

So why would Espinoza bring that up? Did he see something that she didn't? But she was positive there wasn't anything. Aaron wasn't lying when he said he was still in love with Jeanie, despite what she had done to him. That was plain to anyone who saw him talk about her. Was it just because he sat beside her on the couch the entire evening? But so did Zach. So what was it?

She had no idea, but she knew the question would haunt her for some time now. As she sank into the bubbly water in the bathtub, she closed her eyes and tried to purge her mind from all thoughts. This trip has given her a surprising amount of reflection. Maybe she should do that more often. It could be quite illuminating.