Chapter 10

I search the crowd for what seemed like the 100th time for any sign of Asher. After coming up with the idea to lie in order to figure things out, I realized I would need help. Asher was my one and truthfully only available choice. When I finally see him exit the elevator, I am surprised to see my mother pull him aside. They talk briefly, look in my direction and then head over toward our group meeting spot. I do not let them settle down before I ask.

"What was the little pow wow about?" Asher looks at my mother and my mother just shakes her head.

"It was nothing important." She says as she spots the head of security and quickly excuses herself. Once she is out of earshot I stare Asher down until he caves.

"Fine." He finally gives in. "She's just a little worried about you. I mean you did almost blow yourself up this morning." At these words, I realize that Miss Effie must have sent out a press release and statement during the fair. I turn away, a little embarrassed.

"Yeah about that…I think Jane was behind this." He gives me a suspicious look.

"You think Jane made your cabinet explode?"

"Well no…" I start. "…Maybe…I'm not sure. But I'm pretty sure she took the ingredient I was missing. After the explosion, I found it on my suitcase." He just shrugs.

"Maybe you just forgot it in your room." I shake my head, but don't have time to explain. I stop talking as a few of the guys from the conference surround our area. Two I knew from school but the other two were strangers. They all turn to Asher as if I am not there.

"Yo man. You going to the party by the pool tonight." A sandy haired boy from our school asks Asher. I look at him in question, but soon realize he is ignoring me since people from school are around. They talk for a few more minutes before heading over to the guy selling candy. Asher finally looks back at me.

"Sorry you were saying something." Now I am pissed off and want him to know.

"Oh you're talking to me now. I'm sorry I didn't mean to talk around your friends." I try to put as much apathy into my voice as I can muster. Asher however is unconcerned by my tone.

"You know, you could have said something. Introduced yourself or tried to be sociable instead of trying to blend into the couch." My mouth drops open. I do not believe he is turning this around on me.

"Why couldn't YOU introduce me? Isn't that how it goes." He seems to stumble over his words as he tries to reply.

"I couldn't…It wouldn't…People would think… I mean they would get the wrong idea…about us." As his words sink in, a little part of me, the part that always thought about Asher, is sad by his reaction. Instead of letting my feelings show, I hide behind an attitude.

"So what's your solution then Mr. Popular? I just barge into every conversation I'm interested in? My attitude, finally gets to him and he blurts out what he's really thinking.

"Oh come off it. You and Elle don't get it. Everyone knew who you were before you even got to high school. Not just your class, but everyone. You two keep to yourselves so much that it's intimidating for anyone to approach you. For the first time in your lives, you two have to make an effort to make friends instead of them coming to you. It may get better for Elle after I graduate but people will still know you. So maybe now is the time for you to work on those people skills."

I could only stare at him in shock. I was angry, embarrassed and confused all at the same time. My teeth ground together in rage and I try to stare him down again. Asher stares right back, this time unwilling to back down. I finally look away. I can not believe Asher would say things like that. He was there when Jane teased us. He even defended us! I am so mad I can't sit down anymore.

I stand up and spit a quick reply.

"Whatever." As I walk away, I know that my response to all he said is lame, but I really can't think of anything better.

The rest of the morning, Asher and I avoid each other. Thankfully we spend the afternoon at a museum where I can wander around alone. I try my best imitation of an art critic as I stare at each painting. In my head, though I'm thinking about what Asher said. Is that really what we look like to everybody; like we keep to ourselves and seem unapproachable? Asher made us out as these popular girls who acted too good to socialize with anyone else. He made us sound like Jane.

I finally came out of my little world and realize that Natale was staring at the painting next to me. We had been friends when we were little. Her mom, Ms Delly had grown up with my parents and so we would play together when they would visit. Natale was a year older then me though and things changed when she went to high school. Now she, like everyone else, ignored me. At least I thought they were ignoring me. Maybe Asher is right. Maybe it is Elle and I who close ourselves off to the rest of the school. I decide to make an effort with her. We had been friends once so it wouldn't be that unusual for us to talk. Besides if she blows me off, I can throw it back in Asher's face. I stand in front of the same picture she has been looking at for so long. Failing to find the perfect words, I just say the first thing that pops into my head.

"You have been looking at this picture for a really long time so you must be seeing something I'm not." She looks up a little surprised that someone is talking to her. Then seems extra surprised to see it's me. She gives a bright smile as she explains.

"I don't know there's just something about it that I find so beautiful." I look at the picture again and wonder if we are really looking at the same thing. The title of the painting is "Dark Night" and most of the canvas is black save a few dots of light and the central figure, who is looking at the destruction of his town. I finally look back at her with clear confusion before she giggles and explains.

"It's not the destruction I'm looking at, it's the lights all around him. They just remind me of little glimmers of hope in a world wrapped in darkness. And if you look here..." She grabs my hand and pulls me to where she is standing. "Here you see that he's not really looking at the destruction at all, but up at those lights." I look at the man again and realize she is right.

"Wow Natale that's amazing!" I shake my head and say what's on my mind. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You could always see the beauty and truth in everything." She smiles appreciatively and blushes a little at the compliment. We reminisce about a few of the adventures we had as kids before moving on. I tag along through the rest of the exhibit. When she finds a painting that interests her, she stops and explains what she sees. By the end, I had a new appreciation for art.

When we break for lunch, I introduce myself to a few of the other students. But just like Asher said, they already knew who I was and so it was me getting to know them. I was enjoying having a group around me during lunch when Asher squeezes himself between Natale and me. He barely sits down before he whispers.

"Told you so."

I try to scowl at him, but find that I'm too happy to act mad. What makes the situation better is that Jane and her mean crew are sitting off by themselves, occasionally glaring over at our table. After lunch, I come up to Asher and try to apologize.

"I guess you were not wrong about Elle and me needing to be more social." He looks up, acting completely astounded by my words. He replies back in his horrible Capitol accent.

"Why Dahlia Mellark, are you saying that I was right." I couldn't help but giggle a little bit but reluctantly answer.

"Yes, fine okay you were right. Are you happy?" He just chuckles to himself and walks away.

I follow Natale and the rest of the group to our meet up spot. I finally see my mom for the first time since we arrived at the museum. For some reason she looks a little pale. When Ms. Becket announces the next exhibits we are visiting are the hunger games and the Rebellion era exhibits, I understand my mother's paling. She is guaranteed to see a lot from her past. I let everyone file out before approaching my mother. I ask her tentatively.

"Mom are you okay." She seems to snap out of her daze as she realizes I am there. She gives me a sad smile and puts a hand on my shoulder before replying.

"I'm fine sweetheart. I just might need to skip these exhibits." Before she stands up, I stop her and say what I have always wanted to ask her.

"But you never talk about them…neither of you do. I was just hoping…" She cuts me off quickly.

"There's a reason we don't talk about it, Dahlia. Living through it once or even twice was more then enough." I know I've lost the fight but can't help adding.

"So I'm going to go upstairs and learn about you and dad from a museum exhibit? That's so…stupid! Your voice…your story is important to me…to everyone! It just would be nice to hear it from you for a change."

My mother, looking too angry to respond, simply stands up and heads for the exit.