I am sooo sorry guys for being soo late on this one. i just got so confused on how to continue the story from where i left off at the last chapter, I got bogged down by school and frustration. But i did find my way after this vaca from writing this and i hope to continue for a while longer with this new steam. I also studied the first two episode alot so much that i though i'd never get off the ground again, but i guess inspiration hits at the strangest time. thanks for staying with me. i also dont have and rights to avatar but my story is my story.

'Just relax, play it cool, and everything will work out'

hell it was easier said than done. I was about to push forward my schedule by a lot, and to top it off I had to stow away on a fire nation boat without being spotted and without drawing attention to the village upon not giving it away to my cousins and being stalled here in the village for any time longer. Yeah, piece of cake, it's easy to act normal under these circumstances.

"huh" what was I kidding this was going to be a bigger challenge than I wanted it to be. I raised my ungloved right hand and focused my heat of my veins into a small flame. This was as far as I would let myself go after the multiple failed attempts of controlling the ever hungry flickering flames. The last time I tried without being to scared of what I could do was breakfast many years ago before Katara could managed to get up that early.

I remember losing control, and fire blazing burning fire, destroying the food. It was wild and out of control, I remember that day I had almost killed gran-gran. I played it off like I had accidently dropped some grease into the fire. But I guess she had figured out what I did. It started out so simple. I relaxed and focused on my breathing and I made a simple flame that extended for my pointer finger. Then I focused it onto the wood I had already collected within the fire pit. I tried to igniter I but I still didn't understand what kindle was used for so after a few failed attempts at lighting it I got angry. And the angrier I got the more the flame grew, I final got some success but after a while again I grew angry I couldn't cook as well as I wanted and without realizing it I sparked the flames higher than needing to. I caught my sleeves on fire. I felt so scared I tried putting it out, gran-gran rushed in and put them out to turn her face towards the monstrous flames of our makeshift stove and how they danced violently around. She grabbed a blanket to smoother the beast but she almost got burned in the process. After that I never really felt the same about my ability again. I remember hoe the flames would reach out trying to eat us and how the heat felt almost skin melting.

Shaking the memory away I made my way back to the village. Slowly, I wanted enough time to get my nerve up and be able to act like nothing was wrong.

"Penguiiiiiin" ok what the hell? I swear that sounded like fly boy for a sec. I could see the village come into view along with a strange orange blur speeding towards penguin peak.

I could help but laugh, "I guess he gets to go penguin sledding after all" I looked at his path and though of where exactly he'd be going. It was going to be the longer root. But I don't think that kid would mind in the slightest.

I made my way towards the training grounds to see Katara leave heading towards the short cut. They'd arrive at just about the same time. So what mattered. At least I wasn't going to have to lie to her anymore. She would be able to smell my deceit for a mile. But at least I could get in a innocent quick by while she was distracted.

"Katara! Don't go off and have too much fun without me ok?"

"wouldn't dream of it!" she yelled back. She would never know how much that meant. Or how we wouldn't be seeing each other at dinner that night. But I wasn't going to get all misty eyed now I had some but to be whooping. Specifically, Sokka's.

"so, snot mouth how is our small group of valiant warriors coming along?"

"first of all they are not ours, they are mine, and they would be in better shape if you girl would just leave me to the training! Girl should not fight, it a man's job"

"and if we left all the training to you, all everyone would know how to do is get their ass's handed to them."

"you, how-"

"-about another sparing lesson? Sure, I mean if you're up for it? I thought you were still hurting from last time?"

Sokka rubbed his but where I had landed a solid kick in from last time

"men, this will be a fine lesson in combat!" Sokka announced to the young kids. I swear one of their mothers better tell him soon that he was just being used to babysit them so their mothers could work in piece.

'Alright a good farewell for this idiot, and a brush up on my skills, who'd a thunk? Any way no bending at all this round. I got to know how good I am without it, and I can't keep depending upon the idea that I will be fighting idiots who wouldn't notice my bending. I got to be able to fight with AND without my abilities.'

We began to circle each other sizing up our movements. Patient I must be patient and find his weaknesses. There his step was off by a second I could us that. Ill divert his attention with a punch to the face and sweep his feet out from under him. Just few more seconds and I could launch my attack. "show no fear!" lotuki cried, damn it! His just ruined my plan. Sokka was now aiming a full frontal assault. Well at least plan b was always just improvising.

He aimed his attacks, mainly his fist aiming at my head for the most prat only gabbing and kicking at my waist up, in a series of combos he had learned which made it predictable to avoid. He was a textbook kind of guy when it came down to it. But if I wanted a real fight I just had to piss him off. He didn't want to hurt me. So I just danced around his half felt attacks just out of reach enough to start picking at his morals. I needed him to be ingenious and unique, for once I needed him to be him, I needed his own style of challenging my thinking. Because when he did that he actually could trip me up.

"that all you got?"

"that was a warm up, here come the pain"

he tried a fast punch to the face I grabbed his arm and used his momentum to flip him unto his back. I held fast to his wrist and twisted his arm in. I put my foot at the juncture of his collar bone and pushed down. I was about ready to ask him to surrender when he pulled a him move. Instead of straining against my hold me moved with it making a full 180 to turn and grab my leg with his own he grabbed unto my wrist and I soon found the cold ground on my back as he towered over me.

"never underestimate the enemy."

He started to release me when I shot a hard kick to his chin. And I used my momentum to roll onto my feet.

"what was that about never doing something?"

"shut up" he spat some blood must have gotten him good then.

"make me"

he turned and grabbed his hand made spear and charged, seriously the thing was poorly made and barely did well with fish. But the fact that he was willing to draw blood. That look in his eyes was wild. I out stepped him causing him to fly by. His spear was weak as it was and I could have easily broken it without a sweat. But I wanted him to feel ok, and breaking his toy would have broken him. He swung around and almost took off a lock of hair. Oh so scary. I grabbed the thing in my right hand and then pulled it quickly from his grasp. I shifted it far enough to wear I held the base of it were it turned to bone. I then used the blunt end to poke his dumb ass in the face, particularly the forehead knocking him of balance. I swept his legs out from under him and flip my hold and point the blade towards his soft skin of his neck.

"huh, I was hoping for more of a fight" I handed his staff with glued on blade back and help his sorry ass up.

"if you weren't a girl AND family I would have not held back so much."

"you're scared of gran-gran aren't you?"

"I let you win. Just so you know" he nervously avoided admitting it.

"sure, whatever'

man would I miss kicking his but like this. So simple and easy. But, I needed to go, not just today but at this moment. I could feel the fire wanting to escape. Damn, I felt so hot.

I turned to leave "oi, where the hell are you going? We aren't done!"

"We are done Sokka" keep calm breath, Anaka , just breath. Stay calm and cool, don't freak out. Just be vague and make an excuse to leave.

"How about a rematch, I won't go easy on you this time?" boy that would have sounded great if I didn't feel like a bomb about to burst. He kept going, and my little control was melting. "and-"

"DONE! WE ARE DONE!" I whipped around and I could feel how my body started to radiate my heat and rage. "I am going to start cooking dinner with gran-gran" I stormed off, I wanted to bend him into the snow then melt the outside and freeze him where he laid. I wanted to let out some of my stress, but I couldn't trust that it would be water bending that made it to the surface. 'well go me, I hope he will forgive me sometime in the future.'

I made my way back to gran-gran's. and once inside I let it out, I lost control. Fire and water swilled hectically above my slumped down and beaten body. I watched them in a daze as the fought for dominance. Water overtaking flame, flame burning water into hot steam. Gran-gran walked in, and I felt the pain rush back, it was only a matter of time. I could only go so long before the battle started to rage from within my body. I felt as if my whole world was being ripped apart, my body was on fire and my chest had rip open into a vacuum where I could not breath. Pain pulse though my body like a thundering heartbeat, chaotic as if my body was under attack. I felt my muscles strain and pop underneath my boiling skin. I felt my voice open up to scream which petered out to bubbling whimpers between grunt as it hit the open air. My body failed wildly as I tried to ride out another attack. It was god awful, I wanted to be normal, not a water bender, or a fire one, I wanted to be Sokka, just normal. No power o constantly on the verge of destroying me or special, I wanted his luck. My world was often hell like this. Every breath I managed to gasp in while flailing and convulsing on the ground was painfully sharp and so cold that it caused my lungs to burn. A stuttering cough began, and I began to cough up flames that followed with the strong scent of copper blood. This was only the beginning of the long battle for my life, as I tried to separate the two elements fighting for dominance within my body. I tried to use water to cage my flames, I am scared, of me, of them, of what I can do. I need to find a teacher, I need to learn to control it, to no longer be afraid. Its so hard, I'm alone. My eyes see darkness, while my body is being ripped to shreds, my lungs try to expand as my throat opens to gulp in air to the starving riving body that burns from exhaustion and lack of air. I am drowning in an open of air. I feel the warmth, not of the fire, or the fight, its calm and soothing and bright, its caresses some of the pain away, I can feel its hands holding onto my face. Something hits my face, and another, soon I feel it. It's like salty rain, gran-gran. I force my eyes to open and stare up at her. She is crying for me. My eyes sting from the pain I feel and see within our closed circle. My head is propped up on her lap and her hand rub circles into my cheeks. I grabbed her right wrist for support and flames stared to shoot out. I burned her. She didn't seem fazed as she sat still wanting to be nothing but a rock for me. I cried out. There was a high pitch noise, coming from somewhere, it didn't matter I needed not heal her, to make up for her wrist and her back, I reached out with water and stared to try and sooth the offended skin. I could feel something new, the skin felt like it was knitting itself back together. The pain was starting to go away. Gran-gran knelt over me as she pulled me closer. She was so brave, she was my family, she leaned in close, I tried to speak but my throat was thrashed and it hurt, I guessed I screamed during some part of this one. Tears filled her blue eyes, I cried with her as she said the words

"I guess it's time, for you to leave moondance, I can't imagine how this has been for you to stay and endure such pain without a peep. The world you need is out there, there are people who can help you in ways that we, I can't. you were always meant to travel just like your mother I was just too scared to admit it, and too stubborn to let go. Please forgive me?" she began to sob.

I wanted to assure her, that I did. I never held any animosity against her, or my cousins. I choose to stay this long. I couldn't imagine a life without them beside me, but now things had forced my hand. I wanted to hug her, tell her I would always remember her on my travels, and I would return someday. But all I could do was reach up and rest my hand gently upon her face hovering above me, but that was enough. She leaned into my touch and grasped my weak hand with hers and she held onto it before it fell away, it spoke volumes.

"At least rest before you leave, don't worry about the other two. I won't tell them everything, moondance, I feel you are about to embark on a great adventure which will test you try you and ultimately change you, but I know someday things will make sense to them, and you'll be able to share, but for right now rest. Just, at least let me teach you the song I sang to your mother" gran-gran, oh how I will miss you. I love you, I let my eyes close as her raspy voice sang a hymn about loss, and I drifted off into sleep.