Chapter 10:
Back from fighting off the mutants just two days and with a paycheck in his pocket from the effort, Finn was in heaven. Instead of running off to go hustle up a dungeon to plunder, he was here with his girlfriend spending quality time. They hadn't gone anywhere since getting back, taking the time to sleep in and hang out.
This time it was Finn sitting in the breakfast nook and Simone at the stove as they chatted. It was Simone's first attempt at cooking, and it actually smelled good. Finn's mouth watered as he waited for her to finish. Laying the bacon pancakes on the plate, she came over and served them up. She was whistling a familiar tune from long ago. Simon had written it to help a young Marceline understand what the crown was doing to him. It was an unnerving reminder of her condition as slave to the crown's will. So far the crown had exacted no penalty from them for Simone's dramatic rescue, and Finn was cautiously optimistic they could get through this with no fuss.
Now, as they had breakfast, they planned out their day. Simone was headed to the Ice-Kingdom for her daily dose of the cold. Finn had a mission for Bonnie. They were planning to meet for lunch near Wizard City and go for a ride on Bananaman's motorcycle, when suddenly Simone jumped up and ran into the bathroom. Standing there at the door, he could hear her hurling up breakfast. At first he was alarmed, fearing she was sick. Then an even scarier thought hit him. Simone was pregnant. He'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant.
When she came out, looking afraid, he said, "get dressed, babe. We're gonna see Dr. Princess." "But your mission," murmured Simone? Shaking his head, Finn said, "it can wait, Simone. You know I love you, right?" Blushing and grinning, she nodded. Simone washed her face and went upstairs to get dressed. Pulling on a pair of shorts, a white blouse, and a light jacket, she came back down. Finn took her down to Bananaman's motorcycle and together they rode into the Candy Kingdom.
The Candy Clinic was bustling when they arrived, and they had to wait in line to see Dr. Princess. Still they did get in to the nurse's office fairly quickly. They checked Simone's vitals, finding her in good shape. Then it was back to the waiting room. Outside, the amorphous shape of Lumpy Space Princess came drifting by. Spotting Finn in the waiting room, the annoying purple blob decided to spy on him to see what he was up to.
Like many of Ooo's princess population, LSP had been bummed when Ooo's most eligible bachelor started dating the flaming nut-job. After Flame Princess dumped him, LSP had felt like she had a chance again. And then the Ice-Witch had come along. Finn took her everywhere, which pretty much said he was going steady with her. LSP could have killed that old man for creating her! Now they were here at the clinic together! Maybe she's sick or something, thought LSP. That would be something! If Ice-Queen croaked, they'd get Finn back!
As LSP watched, Dr. Princess took the Ice-Queen into one of the rooms and made her strip. Then Ice-Queen got up on the table and lay down. LSP watched in fascination as the doctor looked at Ice-Queen's lady-parts. They were at it a long time, and a bored LSP went back to the waiting room window to stare at Finn. He was just sitting there talking to himself and sharpening a knife. As LSP watched, he plucked a hair from his head and tested the knife's edge on that precious, precious lock. As he went back to his knife sharpening, Nurse Poundcake summoned him to the back.
Excited, Finn rushed through the doors to find Simone dressed again. LSP pressed her face to the glass to hear. Smiling, Dr. Princess announced, "congratulations, Finn. You are officially a father..." Finn gave a whoop and leaped into the air. He threw himself on his girl-and kissed her thoroughly. LSP was in a state of shock and anger. That should be her baby! At the same time, her hunger to spread gossip had her wanting to tell the world. Her love of scandal won the day, and the purple gossip went rushing off to spread the story far and wide. The first person she came across was Turtle-Princess. "Ohmyglob, ohmyglob, girlfriend," howled LSP! "Finn's gonna' be a daddy!" TP goggled at her. "How do you know," she asked? LSP replied, "I saw Finn take Ice-Queen into the Candy Clinic, so I listened at the window!"
Silence reigned a moment. Then Turtle Princess rumbled, "I guess Finn's been working her lumps..." "You bet he has," shouted LSP! "I hung around after movie-night and peeked in the window!" She'd gotten an eyeful! "Tell me about it," demanded TP! "Can't, TP," replied LSP! "Gotta spread the word!" Without a further word, she went tearing off.
Back in the clinic, Dr. Princess had launched into all the things the young couple needed to know about Simone's condition. Finn had no idea having a baby was so complex, and he found himself growing numb with shock. Some things honestly terrified him–particularly all the ways a pregnant woman could get hurt or sick. Nor did Simone get off easy. She knew a fair bit about feminine anatomy, but there were shocking gaps in her knowledge–likely because of how she had come to exist.
Refocusing, Finn made Dr. Princess make a list of all the things Simone was going to need and all the ways he needed to take care of her. Pleased, the doctor did just that. Then it was time for Simone to have a physical. The two women shooed Finn out. With things well in hand, Finn kissed his girl and, with a promise to come back as soon as he could, he slipped out of the clinic. He had to go let PB know he couldn't go run her errand.
As he walked across town, he encountered Slime-Princess, who gave him a dirty look and ignored his cheerful 'hi'. That's odd, thought Finn. Moving on, he came across Lollipop-Girl, who actually giggled when she saw him. All across the town, he kept encountering people who greeted him with crazy looks or odd behavior. Finally, when he was within sight of the Candy Palace, Marceline came swooping out of the sky. "Hey, Marcy," said Finn. Marceline announced, "I hear you're a daddy..." Blushing, Finn admitted, "yeah. How did you...?" "Wow, horny-dog," laughed Marceline! "Got her knocked-up already..." Face red-hot, Finn nonetheless laughed. Yeah, they'd spent a lot of time in bed the first couple of weeks.
"Congratulations, Finn," said Marceline. She hugged him. Finn gave her a face-splitting grin, and she could tell he was happy as a clam. That stood to reason. He'd always seemed like daddy-material to Marceline. Finn had been more excited about Jake and Lady's pups than Jake and Lady. "Where you headed," asked Marcy? Finn sighed, "to tell Bonnie I can't go on her mission." "Be careful, Finn," said Marcy. "Bonnie doesn't really like Simone..." Which he'd sort of guessed. What he didn't understand was why.
It was clear to Finn that it wasn't the fact that Simone was so much like Simon. It was a lot like her reaction to his dating Phoebe. PB had smoothed things over after giving him a big jealous scene, explaining that she was worried about Phoebe exploding and taking the world with her. Finn had let himself be persuaded at the time, but things had changed between them. Ever since then, Bonnie had been kind of a bitch to him. They still hung out. Finn still did stuff for her, but there was an undercurrent there. When Phoebe and Finn broke up, Bonnie was hardly sympathetic.
Now with Finn dating someone new, he couldn't really help thinking that they were in the same spot as before. Bonnie wasn't interested in Finn being her boyfriend, but she sure as hell didn't want him seeing someone else! Finn knew this latest news–that not only was he actively dating, but he had a kid on the way–could send Bonnie over the edge. Still he had to let PB know his availability was about to drop quite a bit. Simone needed him far more than Bubblegum did. Taking his leave of Marceline, Finn went up into the palace and announced himself.
Peppermint Butler immediately ushered him into the Princess's presence. Finn had scarcely gotten through the door when PB lit into him, demanding, "where have you been?! You're late!" She must have been the only one not to have heard about Simone. "Had an emergency, PB," replied Finn. "Had to take Simone to the doctor." "Is she well," asked PB? She didn't sound as though she were sympathetic. She sounded... cold. "Pregnant," admitted Finn. Which was exactly what LSP had said. Bonnibel Bubblegum had mixed feelings about this. Scientifically she was very curious, but she was very disappointed in Finn. The least the big idiot could have done was use a condom!
Coolly, she said, "I have two problems with what you're doing, Finn. One, you're riding a pregnant woman around on a motorcycle. That's going to stop. You'll be walking home. Two, Simone is mentally ill. I don't think she's fit to be a mother, and you're not ready to take care of her and a baby..." He was disappointed himself. In her. It was clear from her words that she had known when he came in the door about Simone. She'd known he'd come into town riding Bananaman's motorcycle! He knew she spied on him sometimes, but this was getting a little old. At the same time, this was the sort of reaction he'd been expecting. He'd hoped she would be happy for him, but he'd been expecting jealousy.
Finn replied, "ok, Bonnie. You got me on that first one. I thought it was better to drive her than make her walk. I didn't think of her falling off. For the rest, that's not your business anymore." Bonnibel frowned at him. He'd called her Bonnie. Not Peebles or PB. It was a shocking amount of disrespect from a young man who'd once been in awe of her, and combined with his assertion that she had no business telling him what to do, it frightened her. He sounded like Marceline. Had she lost him too?
Seeing the expression on her face, Finn said, "a part of me will always belong to you, Princess, but we both know we parted ways the day Lemongrab showed up." It had taken a long time for Finn to see it, but he now knew he'd lost her when she'd been forced to act her age by Lemongrab.
Calmly, Finn said, "we know the crown is what makes her crazy. Simon was completely normal when his crown got nuked..." "Except that he was dieing of old age, Finn," retorted Bonnie. "Is that what you want to do? Kill her?" Finn retorted, "if I can't cure her, I won't see her suffer, Bonnie." Bonnie's jaw dropped as she realized what he was saying. "Y-you're crazy," snapped the Princess! "Crazy about my girl," retorted Finn. He loved Simone, and he would do anything for her. "I can't condone this," said the pink princess. Finn shrugged. It wasn't like he cared. "Anyways," said he. "I won't really be available to help you for a while unless it's an emergency. Right now, I gotta go get Simone and take her home." They had a walk ahead of them.
Finn went back to the clinic to find that Dr. Princess had Simone ready to go. She'd given her a stack of booklets to read and scheduled a string of appointments for her to come back to be looked over. For Finn, she had a bit of an admonishment. She didn't want Simone living so far away from the Candy Kingdom, since that would make it hard to reach them when Simone's time came. She wanted him to move into town, at least temporarily. Finn gave her a promise to think about it. Then he took his girl by the hand and headed out.
On the way back to their home, the two lovers talked about what they'd learned today. Finn was excited. He was going to have a child of his own. Simone was a little frightened, but, at the same time, she was happy as can be. They were having their first child–first of several did she get her way. Her hopes and dreams were all coming true!
When they got to the house, Finn walked in, took one look at the ladder–the same rickety ladder he'd climbed thousands of times–and decided, "the ladder's got to go." Simone gave him a puzzled frown. She was perfectly capable of flying up the ladder to their kitchen or the bedroom or anywhere else she needed to go. "Nah, man," said Finn. "Pregnant girls totes need t'be careful. You could fall down and bust the baby or somethin'! I'm'a go rent a room in town..." Simone murmured, "but, honey... That'll cost a fortune..." Finn turned to her and said, "I'd... if anything ever happened to you, I'd die..." He wasn't going to risk her or their baby. Simone's mouth came open, and she just stared at him. Then, she threw herself on him and hugged him for all she was worth.
Taking his girl upstairs, Finn put her to work making up lunch. Then he went upstairs and started packing up a selection of clothes and shoes for her to wear in town. Grinning at the sight of her old dress hanging up in his closet, Finn couldn't help running his hands across the soft material. It had been a while since she last wore that, and he was glad. Taking the suitcase down to the first floor entry, he put it aside in favor of going back up to have lunch with his lady.
Sitting side by side in the nook, the two talked while they ate and sometimes held hands. Things were going a little faster than either had expected, but neither was unhappy about the end result. They had a family. Finn had a family of his own. He couldn't wait for his kid to meet Jake's kids. Except Jr. He wasn't really thrilled to have a thief around his kid.
Done with lunch, Finn put the leftovers away, then the twosome went down to the entry, picked up their suitcases, and headed out, with Finn locking the door behind them. Laughing and talking about baby names, the two went strolling across the grasslands. Simone had the worst ideas for names, and she was happy to admit that part of it was the Crown of Ice. Finn had only one name that he really wanted. If it was a boy, he wanted to name him Billy.
Halfway there, Jake came rushing up, shouting for Finn. The twosome stopped where they were, waiting for the stretchy dog to catch up. "Finn," puffed Jake! "I... heard... *puff, puff*... You and Simone... *Puff, puff* I heard..." "Yeah, man," said Finn. "I'm gonna' be a dad. Like you." Jake slapped his bro on the back excitedly! "Wow, man," said Jake! "I finally get t'be an uncle! I can't wait!" Thinking a moment, he remembered what had brought him. "Yeah, I meant to give you this book...," said he. He thrust his 'Mom's Manual' at Finn. Finn laughed. He couldn't help remembering what a disaster Jake had had with the Mom's Manual and his kids. Still, knowing how much it would mean to Jake, he took the book and stuffed it in his pack.
"Where you guys goin', anyway," asked Jake? He'd run all the way to the treehouse when he got the news, but they weren't home. "Goin' t'the Candy Kingdom," said Finn. "Dr. P figures Simone shouldn't climb stairs and junk while she's preggers, and I was afraid her fly-powers might give out at the wrong time... So we're gonna' get a room near the hospital. Just in case." Grinning like a fool, he added, "aaaannnd, well, I don't know stuff about babies, so I figured we'd be close to Dr. P, so she can help." "What're we waitin' for," shouted Jake?! Changing shape, he slid himself under Simone's butt, picking her up off her feet. At the same time, he formed a box behind her for the luggage. "Climb up, buddy," said Jake. Finn put his bags on Jake's back and climbed up on his brother. Then Jake set out for the Candy Kingdom.