Chapter 10: An Embrace and a Word
Severus Snape woke up in the Hospital wing of Hogwartz with a shocked look in his eyes. There was no one around that he could see. Every time he shifted it sent a striking pain into his ribs that swelled continuously until some other part started to ache. His entire chest was wrapped tightly to the white bed sides. He tried to speak but no words came through his dry mouth. The back of his throat was coarse. He didn't know how long he had been there or what had happened. Everything was a blur. Distant shouts suggested his awakened presence caused an alarm. The head nurse rushed over to examine him.
"Severus Snape. How are you feeling?" Her hands began a through examination of his body. Each of her light finger presses sent waves of nauseating pain.
"Ah...wa...te..r.", his voice was hoarse with a mixture of pain and alarm.
She had forgotten her duties to him as a patient and gently fixed a cup full of water to his lips,"Sorry dearie."
Severus took gulps of the liquid trying to quench his thirst. When he consumed most of the drink, she took the cup away and sat it on a tray next to her. His voice was weak and laced with light worry. Lily's well being was sitting in the back of his mind for an unfounded reason, "Wh-w-what happened?" His voice thick with exhaustion and every word sent a screaming pain that channeled down his sternum and settled into the pit of his stomach.
The Head Nurse explained to the worried boy, "There was an accident dearie. Your strengthening potion exploded in class but you don't need to concern yourself with that Mr. Snape. We must get you well." The notion that he had messed up his potions brew was ludicrous. He was always careful and precise but he just couldn't remember the incident at all.
Snape furrowed his brow tightly, "It's impossible. I would never add volatile ingredients to an already volatile potion. There is no feasible..." As the nurse brushed over his ribs, he cried out in pain and began to pant heavily. She bit her lip tenderly and poured a concoction into the same cup as before and forced Severus to drink it. The liquid was a frothy mixture of bitter berries, dried spearmint toothpaste, and dirt. He gagged on the brew as it's taste was enough to make a maggot curl away and die before trying it.
The Head Nurse held it at his mouth until every drop was gone. "This should take away most of the pain Mr. Snape. The regrowth formula was what tasted so awful. Not to worry though. Only a day or so until you are all better."
The nurse turned to leave and his right hand weakly grabbed onto the hem of her skirt. He attempted to lift his head from the comforting pillows. "Lil-lily Evans." The elderly lady turned towards the injured Severus and with a quick movement placed his fingertips back onto the soft bed. She had a tender smile brimming on her cheeks. Tiny dimples smiled at him as if to suggest there was nothing to worry about, "She's fine dearie. You did well. Now get some rest and let that regrowth work it's way through ya'."
Severus relaxed back down into the cot and let his mind wander in and out consciousness. No restful sleep would enter into him. The pain shot through his nerve endings and pulsed deeply within his mind. It was dull and bland in comparison to the hurting before but it still wouldn't leave him alone. Snape tried all day long to recall what exactly happened and why it did. He could only get fragments of Slughorn and Lily. The candle lights turned on suddenly and there was a pitch black darkness surrounding his bedside. He was alone. There were some light footsteps that shuffled in and out of the hallways but nothing to suggest anyone had come to see him. His dark eyes stared at the concave ceiling with a dreamy intent. He counted how may different creases were in his bed and stared at the flickering lights trying to see the instant fire turned from flame to nothingness.
Snape tenderly pulled his upper body up and away from the constricting wrappings and sat erect to see the injuries to himself. The pallid skin was mocked with purple-blue bruising and deep gashes on his sternum. As he flexed his chest muscles, each twitched with an unhappy gesture as if they were tired of movement. The hurting sensation had left his body and settled into his lower extremities. Severus went to stretch lifting his arm upwards and pulling his hands crookedly behind his head. He squeezed gently letting the tightness alleviate from his tissue and into the atmosphere. There were sounds behind him as he moved from the bed gently planting his feet and the cold floor. The only clothing that he still wore were a pair of generic sweatpants. The freezing sensation sent shivers up his spine and he blinked away the feelings with his eyes.
Snape's palms gripped the side of his bed as his lithe fingers curled around the edges. His body hung forward attempting to breathe freely. There were still pangs of needles poking into his sides and legs but nothing that could not be managed. He closed his chestnut black eyes trying to remember what happened. His mind was thick with fog as if he had inhaled some toxin, some item, that was making him forget or at least trying to douse his memory with a mist that could not be broken through.
"Severus?", the light voice beckoned a questioning word but his name made Snape jump temporarily. He shifted his head over his right shoulder quickly to see who beckoned him and immediately was relieved.
"Lily, you are alright?" His eyes melted from there concentration and took in her radiant appearance. Same as usual, the beautiful red hair flowing down just below her shoulders and the pallid, yet stunning, skin that reflected the flames orange glow. She was perfect with only one flaw. Her cheek had the smallest gash across it's surface the mocked her otherwise impervious beauty. Snape's mouth hung open slightly making sure no other part of her was hurt as his eyes examined her closely. She nodded sorely trying not to let the well of tears beckon forth. Lily sniffled them back and her usually happy demeanor became sadden with grief. Her hand extended to his back trying to touch the bruised surface as softly as she could but Snape winced away instinctively afraid to let her touch him. Her hand recoiled backwards lightly gripping her left hand inwards holding the grasp across her chest.
"I'm so sorry Severus. I-i..." Lily's voice trailed off as she let a few tears drop down. They lightly splashed against her hands and slid down into her sleeve.
Severus was confused. Her tears are for me? He wasn't sure what to do as he had never been good at dealing with others grief. His body attempted to move to her but as he shifted his way upwards, his knees buckled under pressure and instead Snape hit the floor with a light thud. His forearms instinctively braced his impact and as he kneeled on the ground in his pathetic attempt at comforting Lily, she instead came to him. "Why do you cry for me?" His words were soft and filled with unsure emotion.
The tears flowed a bit more and hit the floor with a light tap, "Because—because you saved me Sev. I don't want you in pain either. You are my friend. I-" Her jade green eyes cried more as the pain of his pain traveled through her. She bent down and touched his shoulder with a confident but gentle touch, "I feel like this is my fault. It took me all day to make it here. I couldn't face what had happened. I didn't want to believe it." Her warm touch felt like a wave of the polar opposite.
The trueness of her words beckoned an aching in his heart to comfort her, hold her close, and make sure she never cried again. Snape pulled himself upwards towards the bed using the leverage of his beside and plopped onto the cushion with a tiny creak. Lily's hand fell off his back and slid to her side. She stood slowly making sure that Severus had made his way up and to the bed alright. He shifted his weight back and forth struggling with the words to say, something that would mean more than what she had said or at least validated her feelings toward him. Her genuine stare made him uncomfortable because he knew she was searching him for something. The word 'friend' made him flounder with what to tell her.
"I don't remember what happened. I don't want to make you cry. I only want..you to be safe.", his chest lifted and pulled with every word. Snape's voice was deep with a passion that sat buried beneath the surface.
"I-" He tried yet again to stand and this time he made it look easier. His weight was still a bit unfounded but he took a step towards her. Lily's eyes widened as he moved to her and finally wrapped his, what looked-like, broken arms around her. His arms were shockingly cold but something about him made her mind wander. Lily's arms were trapped against his bare chest. Snape's chest however was warm and tender unlike his other extremities. She felt assured and safe. His lips moved cautiously as if he were waiting on this moment for his entire life, "I need you..to be safe. To be alive. You are my- I..I..."
"What is this?" The head nurse rushed to the two locked in embrace. "You are not suppose to be standing Mr. Snape." Severus let go of Lily as he was practically shoved back into bed. He grumbled in dissatisfaction. Snape was annoyed to say the least and as he nestled back into his previous position staring at the ceiling, Lily came to his side sitting on a visitors chair and lightly grasped his left hand in hers. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. Friend.