"You're a fucking idiot, Soldat. Get off of him."

Bucky tightened his thighs around Steve's body, stubborn clinging, watching his hand fumble with the white labeled bottles, lined one-two-three in a row on the bureau. Metal arm encircling shoulders, fingers digging deep into a bicep holding himself tight wrapped. Warmth spreading through his belly when Steve shifted his weight to balance on his hip, fingers searching beneath his sweats to lay broad and firm across his ass, flirting with the tenderest of skin.

Deliberate giving over of control, not allowing or wanting separation, Bucky dropped his head, temple resting on a temple. Gaze intent on a one-handed struggle with the bottles, eye next to eye, lashes brushing, a languid move to place lips on Steve's cheek, his tongue stealing a taste of his skin, distracting him from the task, knowing full-well what his mouth did to Steve, he glanced sidelong at his progress with the pills.

"Distract him then. No medications. Remember the glory days? Delirious fighting, righteous resistance. Up pills, down pills, stop this, start that, control the Soldier, take away the Captain, kill the Voices, you told them about us. Idiot, what did you expect. You don't want this."

A shiver at the Voice's insistence, he breathed his answer into Steve's ear, "I need them, Stevie, get them." Bucky dug his hand under Steve's shirt, fingers connecting with taut muscle, sliding beneath the grip of his own thigh, spreading wide-palmed crawling down to toy with coarse hairs. Caught breaths matching as his hand pulled heat from Steve's skin, sweat wetting his fingers, sensitive flesh twitching under his touch.

"Cover your eyes, take away your senses, pry open your jaw, shove them in, choking on their fucking pills. Lessons learned for all of us. Next came the white dressed woman, needle in her hand, sweat breaking at the small of your back, purposeful stride straight for you. Hardline smile knowing what she'd do to you, knowing you couldn't fight her plan. A nod to the men, take him down, hold him down, give me his skin, pull his hip free, hold him you fools. Cold needle sliding into your ass, sharp and burning pain to bliss to sleep to be lost and thoughtless and used against your will."

"Not the same." Words nearly inaudible, his head rocking slow against a temple, "I trust him."

Steve's thoughts stumbled through anxiety to regret to simmering anger at hearing Bucky's whispered conversation with the Voice. His hand didn't falter as he pulled the pills from the bottles to make a palm-open offering, "Here we go. One white, one blue, one capsule. It sucks, I get it but so does falling apart."

"Don't be a fool. Knock them out of his hand."

A soft-spoken answer, "My hands are occupied."

"Maybe get your hand out of my pants and take these meds," Steve's firm tone not supported by his keep-him-close press of his head against Bucky's, breathing in his scent, body aching to tear away his clothes when a fingertip grazed the tip of his cock. His own hand slipping deep between Bucky's legs, sweat breaking on their bodies, mingling where skin touched skin.

"Why so willing now? Because it's him? Same pills, different hand. You're a fool. You used to fight the medications. Loser."

Bucky whispered, "Bring your hand closer," An uncertain gaze intent, darting from the pills to Steve to the distance, a return to study the eyes that watched him, waiting for his choice to be made.

"Please, Buck, take them then we..." Steve's words stopped short by the flash of a familiar smirk, eyes shifting from questioning to bright, Bucky lunged to press his mouth to his palm, tongue licking wet across his skin, pulling the pills up from his hand, teeth taking a sharp nip of his thumb. Steve's quick pull of a breath cut off by Bucky's mouth, open and taking, covering his own, tongue pushing deep, metal arm holding his head locked to the force of his kiss, the pills flirting across his lips, pulled back by Bucky's retreat.

Metal hand catching the back of Steve's head forcing his mouth to press to pale skin exposed as Bucky's head dropped back, rippled evidence of a swallow. Shared quiet moans as Steve's tongue dragged wet up the slope of his neck, mouth pulling blood to sit beneath his skin, evident marks randomly left not covered by hair or collar, open for anyone to see as long as his body would allow. Giving himself up for Steve's taking, hips moving rhythmic telling of his need.

"You are a very naughty Soldier. Mother would be supremely disappointed."

Bucky's head jerked down, a tremor of tension, his closing off unclear, fighting to keep his focus on the tickle of a beard raking along his throat.

Steve's mouth followed the slope, tongue brushing his ear, his hand moving to cup his neck, holding him steady as mouths teased close. Steve wanted the kiss, breaths mingling warm, tongue tasting skin still even as the moment hung expectant. The tremor hinting of Bucky's distraction.

"God, Buck," Steve pulling back from Bucky's chasing mouth, making him wait, reveling in the want of half-lidded eyes and the stroke of insistent fingers wrapping around his cock, "What you do to me." Thumb pressed to a pulse, tracing along his jaw, steady pressure holding him at bay, a finger wandering to caress a full lip, mouth opening, inviting exploration, an ask he couldn't resist he slid his finger inside to slow pull wetness down his tongue. "I need you," whispered with heads pressed close, heat pushing sweat across their bodies, Bucky's giving over of himself inviting, licking Steve's fingers, their mouths fell together.

Steve returned the kiss forcing them into the bureau, clattering pill bottles rolling across the floor, hips driving up between Bucky's legs wrapped possessive, body aching for the promise of his dark tightness. Low moans sent heart pounding blood to his temples, filling his cock, driving his need to lay hands on Bucky's skin warm and familiar, fingers dug under the sweater, nails dragging into muscles firm and willing.

"Well, there is always puking. Maybe you should go do that before those pills dissolve."

Bucky's legs jerked against Steve's thighs, metal hand holding insistent pressure to his head, the desperate whine filling his mouth, his tremor shaking through both of them. Steve caught a handful of hair, tugging steady, pulling his head back, struggling to put a space between them. The intrusive tremor sending an anxious rush of cold to slow their kiss. A faint space created between their mouths.

"Wait. Just wait." Steve breathed close.

Bucky rolled his head, hand wrapping tighter on Steve's cock, "No waiting."

Steve whispered against his mouth, "Look at me."

A jerked tightening of the metal arm, "No more looking."

Steve's insistent drag on his hair, "Yes, I need to see you."

Bucky let his head fall back, giving to the pull on his hair.

Steve studied the face he'd know his whole life, the turn of his mouth, lips darkened red by his own forceful kiss, the constant uncertainty reflected in his eyes seen even now as they shared a bed.
Hope in the glimmer of trust reserved for him alone. "Your word, you won't stop them again."

Bucky dragged his teeth across his lip, tugging against Steve's restraining grip, he leaned open mouth reaching, trying to connect again, fighting against the apparent rejection. A frustrated breath when he failed to pull free from the grip on his hair.

Steve wrapped his hand around his hip pushing hard to bounce him against the bureau, "I need this. Your word." A flash of anxiety sent sweat across his chest, the too clear image of the self-spilled pool of blood and Bucky's lifeless body. Eyes flickered to his mouth waiting, a hint of movement towards him, pulled back, "I can't lose you again."

Bucky clung legs and arms encircling, claiming Steve, reveling in every shred of physical contact, each second of their intense gaze, hunger for his body mixed with fear, wanting to let go of the past, desperate to trust him. Struggling to find his answer.

"Guidelines are acceptable, promises are not binding. Your word, Soldat, another matter, never to be given."

He leaned to counter the restraining grip, accepting the pain that tugged at his scalp, eyes unwavering locked with Steve's. The internal struggle to defy the Voice hinted across his features, eyes darting right and back, a twitch at the corner of his mouth, worry lines spreading and disappearing morphing to a peaceful softness. The hint of a genuine smile that echoed the look Steve knew from their past, his voice deliberate and clear, "I give you my word. Not a promise, not a guideline. My word. I will take them every day."

"You are a disobedient fool that will suffer the consequences, never learning. You and your Captain."

Muttered words defiant, "I don't care. You can't hurt me."

"I'm sorry, sorry." Steve's hand quick released the fistful of hair, fingers digging deep into the scalp made tender by his hold, slow strokes of comforting regret, he pulled his head close to his chest. "I don't want to hurt you."

Confusion slipped across Bucky's face, "Not you. Never you."

Steve closed his eyes, arms wrapped around Bucky, fingers dragging across his scalp, the near confirmation of what he suspected, the Voice competing for his attention. Countering his every word, taking Bucky from him, taunting, confusing, always somehow in the middle. Anger mixed with want, echoes of times past, the flair of heat that made him fight every bully flushed hard across his skin, "Let go. Get down." He pushed to move the locked on thighs.

Bucky doubled his clinging efforts, "No. Stevie. No letting go now."

A move to wriggle out of Bucky's grip, "Yes. Let go. Right now."

A defiant full-body jerk to hold him in place, "Why? I gave you my word. You don't believe me?"

Steve dropped his forehead to roll careful against Bucky's, "I know. Thank you. I believe you. I need you to let go now. Please let go." A held breath pause, fighting the urge to tear at his clothes, to give in to the rush to take him. "I want to undress you. I need to touch you. Right now."

Heat pushed through Bucky's body with Steve's words, gripping thighs released, sliding down, toes to the floor, taking his weight. Hands releasing their tight grip if not their contact. Eyes brighter with anticipation, locked on Steve's, no more than a breath apart. He waited.

"He doesn't care about you. Not like that. It's sex, like all the others. Base sex."

Steve's words hesitant, "I know I should tell you how I feel," he curled his fingers into the hem of Bucky's sweater. Fingers grazing skin, searching for the waistband. Hips followed the pull on his sweats, heat spreading out from the fingers that caressed his belly, feet stumbling forward, letting Steve have his way, he surrendered to the undressing, a dance between his past and their present.

"We've been here before Soldat, men undressing you, acting kind, not hurting you at first. It all ends the same."

The Voice called up memories of unwanted touch, the urge to fight beat down by punishment, the lessons of submitting learned and remembered. Bucky kept eyes locked on Steve, gentle hands reaching for his body, knowing with certainty who he is, trusting in their history.

"Men only take Soldat. No asking, no concern. Only take from you what they want."

Steve's hand hesitated, twisting in the hem of the sweater, "I'm sorry I rush you, I never ask."

"Rush me where?"

Steve shook his head, "Permission, I should be asking permission."

"The asset doesn't give permission. No one needs the asset's permission. Your word is not valued."

Bucky pulled in a long shaky breath, his gaze not wavering from Steve's face, a faint nod to whisper, "You asked once before. I said yes. Always, yes."

"I should ask more often than once." Steve tugged him closer, forehead pressed to forehead, pulling his body, breath warm on his face. Bucky gave in to the pull, hands falling to his sides, eyes intent following the look of want on Steve's face. Trusted fingers spread wide and firm beneath the borrowed sweater hanging too large on his frame. Heat spreading across his taut abdomen, deliberate pressure, full-palmed pushing upward, thumbs caught on the knit hem, exposing his chest. Breaths deepening watching Steve's eyes take in his body, following his fingertips soft exploring nipples, circling and teasing to capture the flesh, a gentler caress of skin along the scars, accepting touch that accounted for the forever pain. Intent gaze, firm gentleness telling him this touch is real, not hinted or dreamed or haunted. Real and wanted, freely given and welcomed.

"No handlers now, you can fight this one. You have my permission to stop him. He'll never expect it."

Bucky shook his head, slow side to side, hands came to rest on Steve's, a thumb pressed to each pulse, a pause to affirm their connection, gaze checking gaze, he raised his arms allowing Steve to pull the clothing from his body. Head dropping back, eyes closing, a twitch of the muscle that sits beneath his hip when hands tugged at his sweats, a pulled in hiss of air as the waistband caught purposeful on his cock, a teasing drag along his flesh, his reach to lead Steve's hand gently pushed aside.

"No better no worse, all the same. Nameless, faceless men taking what they want, using you. Never giving you pleasure. Never asking what you want."

"There, right there," Bucky's whispered instructions followed by Steve's mouth pressing firm to the point of his hip pulling a moan, sending a spasm to his groin, hands tugging one foot then the other from his sweats, wet kisses scattered to inner thighs, teeth leaving marks on skin tender with the cherished bruises.

Steve's soft murmur of "You like that don't you?" Flesh twitching as the rough beard dragged across the evidence of his lingering, tongue dragging comfort to claimed patches, "You want me to do this right?"

Bucky's blissful smile and nod, hands catching Steve's hair directing his willing mouth, releasing the confusion brought on by the Voice. Knees losing tension when Steve's tongue teased sensitive skin, licking the length of his cock, the pulled moan answer enough. Bucky let his head drop, eyes open, pupils wide watching as Steve took him in, slow and careful, hands sliding to his ass, keeping him close.

Staggered deep breaths, hand tugging on his hair directing his attention, Steve knelt at his feet, head tilting up, mouth sliding along his length, his hand slow stroking up Bucky's thigh, thumb circling the base of his cock, a pause in movement, eyes watching one another.

Steve pulled a teasing distance away, "Look at you," hand stroking the dip and rise of his muscled body, wandering across the measured ripple of his abdomen, a teasing pull of his nipples, finding his way to fill his palm with his ass, pulling him close. "I don't tell you how you look, how you feel under my hands, under my weight. How much I want you."

"He looks so much like the First Handler, Soldat. Don't you think?"

Bucky's smile an echo from the distant past, "No. Steve. Look at you." A slow stroke of fingers through hair, thumb dragging along his cheek, cupping his face, etching his features deep into his memory, storing him away tight-locked, to be protected forever. Eyes caught watching one another, heartbeats passing, no words, no movements only gaze connected.

The moment broken by Bucky's pull at Steve's T-shirt, desperate tugging to free him of his clothes, pulling him to his feet, tearing at his jeans, frustrated whine when his shoes wouldn't come off fast enough. He hard tugged at the pants, tossing them aside, stepping close, a skipped beat before they were full body skin to skin, consuming mouths pressed tight. Hands finding secret points to touch shared memories of intimate moments discovering one another.

Steve's hand caught Bucky's neck, raking up to tangle in his hair, cautious pressure to pull him towards the bed, mouths still connecting. Bucky moved to crawl on hands and knees, giving himself to Steve.

"No, no, this way, come here." Steve sat cross-legged, back to the headboard, hands never leaving Bucky's body, tugging to straddle his lap, hands wrapped around his thighs, pulling him into position, "This, I want this, I want to see you."

Bucky offered a faint smirk as his hand cupped Steve's face, "Always watching me, Rogers. You're always watching me," forehead close to forehead, perplexed by the unconditional acceptance evident in his eyes. He raised up on his knees, breaths panting, teeth digging into his cheek, eyes forced closed as Steve's fingers found their way inside of him, exploring intimate tissue, preparing his body to take him in.

Steve offered an absent nod and half smile, distracted by Bucky's slow matching push against his fingers, "Damn right. Somebody's gotta keep an eye on you, and I am the man to watch you and, I am the one to do this to you." Steve brought home his point with an insistent drive and pressured raking into his body, tongue licking at the beads of sweat forming on his chest, sliding slow circles of wetness around each nipple. An aching need filling his gut, overtaking his thoughts, the taste of his skin needed, the way his body moved to fit to his, accepting his fingers, hand braced to the back of his head bringing his nipples to meet his mouth, asking without words for his touch, to feel his lips pressed to his flesh.

His eyes closed exploration interrupted by Bucky's begging whisper, "Do it. I need you inside of me, please." Two hands, metal and flesh embracing his cock, bringing their bodies together. A new wash of sweat shimmering across hips to chase down their thighs with the slow descent and careful filling, mouths pressed in a languid kiss, stillness as their bodies adjusted.

Steve's hands wrapped tight around Bucky's hips, controlling his motion, lifting and descending, fast then slow, bodies moving in counterpoint, eyes following Bucky's expressions, every whispered word, furrow in his brow, turn of his head to watch nothing in the distance and every tremor that rippled across his chest.

Steve caught his face, pulling his gaze to himself, hips moving a rhythmic reminder of their connection, he drew a thumb hard across Bucky's lips bruised from his own mouth, "Watch me, only me. Only my words. It's just the two of us."

Confusion flashed across Bucky's face, eyes struggling to stay on Steve, body jerking with every push of hips, pulling groaned breaths with each pass across the spot made tender by Steve's hand and cock.

Steve braced on Bucky's thighs, driving his legs wider, his hard push up forceful angled and insistent, taking the tender tissue, responsive to his every twitch and drive, a rasped question that already had an answer, "Can you feel me? Feel what I'm doing to you? Taking you?"

Bucky's whimpered sound his only answer as his hand reached to satisfy his own cock, denied by Steve's insistent "I'll take care of you." He braced his hands on the head of the bed, raised up on his knees, dropping down, repeated filling, bodies moving coordinated well known to one another. Head falling back, letting Steve take him, eyes closed his mind following the ache of hands that pulled at his flesh, fingers deep pressed to thighs, twitching muscles, burning pain shooting across the small of his back with every deep excursion.

"God, I'm close," Steve's low groan brought his hand to Bucky's mouth, fingers reaching deep to pull wetness, then falling to Bucky's cock, swollen and expectant, hard strokes pulling, a thumb raking across the tender head. Bucky's hair hanging wet around their faces leaving drops of sweat to run cold down Steve's chest.

Mouths brought together in a forceful kiss, tongues pushing deep, pulled away when they came, heads staying close, panting breaths hot on the other's skin, sweat stung eyes, aching loud moans falling into laughter and Bucky's "Fuck me," muffled by Steve's arms, his face buried against his chest.

Steve's added, "I think I just did," brought laughter but his whispered, "I love you," fell unheard against his hair.