Oshibaru: Since Geenie is currently busy with a bunch of crap, I'll be taking her place in this chapter. Hello, I'm Oshibaru. I'm a bear puppet. Screw with me and I'll bite your head off. So Geenie would just like for me to inform you about her internet turning off and the fact that she's now back in school and has soo much homework it's not even funny. Well, I find it hilarious, but that's what her post it note says. I do understand that each chapter starts with a commercial concerning the Naruto characters, she has readied that up for me….ummm….and it is also to my belief I am supposed to interview a Naruto character…..hmmm….shouldn't we just get on with the story? Well….screw it I'll do it.
Ryuk: WTF?!
Freaked out by Oshibaru.
Oshibaru: Hello ugly, are you……O…Oro…cha….chi?
Ryuk: Orochimaru?
Oshibaru: Yes! That's it!!
Ryuk: HELL NO!! I'M A DEATH NOTE CHARACTER YOU RETARD!!
Oshibaru:……….
Bites Ryuk's face off.
Ryuk: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Oshibaru: I could very well get used to this….yes….
Naruto: WTF?
Oshibaru bites Naruto's face off.
Naruto: AHHHHH!! WHAT IN THE- STILL CENSORED BY DISNEY!!
Oshibaru: Need more….more…
Hinata: Aww…look at the little cute bear puppet…awww…
Oshibaru starts chasing her. (I would feel bad if Oshibaru bit her)
Hinata: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO THAT FORTUNE ABOUT ME GETTING CHASED BY BEAR PUPPETS!!
Oshibaru: While I'm trying to get more blood, watch this commercial that sponsors this crap!
SASUKE BOPPERS! SASUKE BOPPERS!
Sasuke: Wtf?!
THROW HIM UP! AND PUT YOUR KUNAI INSIDE!
Sasuke:…..
MORE FUN THAN JUST WATCHING HIM DIE!!
Sasuke: THAT ISN'T FUN FOR ME!!
AND IF HE DOESN'T DIE, BEAT HIM WITH AN ALUMINUM BAT!
Sasuke: WHAT?!
AND IF HE STILL DOESN'T DIE, THEN TAKE HIM IN A ROOM AND COVER HIM IN RATS!!
Sasuke: You sick mother-DISNEY LOVES YOU!!
AND IF HE STILL ISN'T DEAD, THEN SHAVE HIS HEAD AND POUR ACID ON HIS FACE!!
Sasuke:…..
THIS IS THE FUNNEST GAME!!
SASUKE BOPPERS!!
Kakashi: By Milton Bradley.
Naruto:….Man this story is getting weird…
Ryuk: Yeah especially with the fact that it doesn't even make any sense….
Naruto: Feh, most animes don't make sense.
Ryuk: Good point.
A light flashes and Sasuke falls from the sky.
Sasuke: AHHHHHHH!
Falls in spike pit. Dies.
Naruto: I think he just came back to life and died again….
Ryuk: Haha this is funny….
Light flashes again, Sasuke falls out of sky.
Sasuke: AHHHHHH!
Lands in mine field. Blows up. Dies.
Ryuk: Hyuk! I can watch this all day!
Light flashes AGAIN, Sasuke falls.
Sasuke: OKAY! THIS TIME I PREPARED!!
Pulls string to parachute.
Sasuke: HAH!
Anvil comes out.
Sasuke: Son of a bit-HANNAH MONTANNA!!
Kakashi: The anvil then lands on Sasuke's head thus pulling him down faster. When Sasuke finally lands the anvil crushes him to death. Then a bunch of dogs come and chew on him.
Naruto: I am soo glad I'm not him.
Ryuk: Yeah, he wrote your name in the Death Note and somehow he died……It still confuses me but hey, it's funny.
Naruto: Yeah….what confuses me is that Sasuke and I are BFF and that he tried to keel me!! Why Ryuk?! WHY?!
Ryuk: Ummm……maybe because he doesn't like you?
Naruto: THAT CAN'T BE IT!! IT MUST BE OROCHIMARU'S FAULT!! NOW INSTEAD OF OBSESSING OVER BECOMING THE BEST NINJA EVER I WILL OBSESS OVER SASUKE BETREYING ME!! AND IT WILL GO ON TILL THE NEXT SERIES COMES ON AND WE'RE ALL OLDER! BUT NOT THAT OLD ONLY LIKE 14 BUT FOR SOME STRANGE REASON WE ALL LOOK 20!! Well….I look 14.….but Sakura…..damn….but Hinata developed more….if ya'know what I mean….
Ryuk:…..Ummm…..
Light comes out of sky again.
Kakashi: BUT THIS TIME HE LANDS ON GAARA!!
Sasuke: Ow…
Gaara: GET OFF OF ME FAT ASS!!
Sasuke: Fine fine. Asshole…
Sakura: SASUKE!! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!
Sasuke:…….If I say yes, will you try to annoy me? And stalk me. And…..try…..
Sakura: YES!
Sasuke: Then no, I'm not Sasuke…I'm just….Ash…Ash umm…Ketchum….from…damn….Pallet Town…..
Sakura: Oh…….Okay…..
Gaara: I hate Pokemon! SAND COFFIN!!
Gaara then crushes Sasuke to death.
Sakura: What's your problem?!
Gaara: I JUST REALLY HATE POKEMON!!
Sakura: Why?!
FLASHBACK!
Random kid: GAARA CAN'T PLAY POKEMON BECAUSE HE'S A POKEMON HIMSELF!
Kid Gaara: AM NOT!
GROUP OF KIDS: GAARA IS A POKEMON! GAARA IS A POKEMON! AHAHA!
Gaara: I'm not a pokemon…
Sakura:….
Starts to back away.
Kakashi: Meanwhile where Tsunade is….
Tsunade: WHAT?! IT CAN'T BE!! IT'S SOOO HORRIBLE!!
Kakashi: WHAT?!
Tsunade: Nobody replied to my blog about my missing Host Club manga….
Kakashi: Oh…..
Tsunade: Well now that I got the whole myspace thing out of the way I guess I should research that whole fan-function-
Rock Lee: Fiction.
Tsunade: Fiction, and see if that Elderon-
Rock Lee: Elric.
Tsunade: Elric kid was right…..
Goes into FAN-FICTION-DOT-NET. (I know it looks weird but the site won't lemme put web addresses up……)
Tsunade: OOOH! They have a section for TV shows! I wonder if they have Dawson's Creek….
About to click on it.
Tsunade Angel: NO! BAD TSUNADE!! As 5th Hokage you need to check the important things out first, then the fun things……
Tsunade Devil: Oh don't listen to that old bag Tsunade!! Go ahead, click on it….Dawson's Creek has been there for you on every lonely dateless night, so why not now?
Tsunade Angel: No!! Don't listen to her!! What would the 3rd Hokage do?
Tsunade: Hmm……..
Thinking about it.
3rd Hokage: I would rent a bunch of porn at Block Buster and buy a 12 pack of beer, but that's just me….
Tsunade: Well….That doesn't help much….
Tsunade Devil: Exactly, and that's why you should click on it…
Tsunade: Hmmmmm….
Tsunade Angel: Ya'know with this kind of messed up logic you got it's no wonder you have a bad gambling addiction….
Tsunade: HEY! I CAN QUIT WHEN I WANT TO!!
Tsunade Devil: Oh yeah when? If you're fat ass is not on the computer then you're out gambling….
Tsunade Angel: HAHA that is sooo true!
Tsunade: HEY!!
Tsunade Angel: I mean the fact she's talking to us proves she has lost it…
Tsunade Devil: Yeah I know!
Tsunade Angel: Well I'm bored of this, I'm going back home to strip in front of a bunch of hobos…
Tsunade Devil: HEY! I'LL WATCH!
Both disappear.
Tsunade: …….Screw it! I'll just look at this whole conspiracy crap now!!
Goes into anime section. Clicks on Naruto.
Tsunade: Wow……all these stories suck…..Sakura is trapped in a well, Sasuke finds her and saves her…..Rated M for sexual content…..LAME! Hmm….After Naruto's and Sasuke's fight, they both realize what they feel for each other is more than admiration, it's love….EWWW! Hinata gets sick of being ignored and begins to cut herself….When Neji finds out he is first outraged, but then realizes how much he cares for his cousin….OMG LAME! Oh wait…..This one sounds interesting…..Tsunade goes onto FAN-FIC-DOT-NET, she looks through a summary of stories in the Naruto section….She then gets mobbed by a bunch of fan boys?
Group of fan boys: HYAH!
Tsunade: AIIIIEEEE!!
Kakashi: Where Jiraiya is….
Jiraiya: Okay boys!! Cough up the dough!
Al: But Mr. Jiraiya you took all of my money….
Jiraiya looks at Ed.
Ed: THERE'S NOWAY IN HELL I'LL LEND MONEY TO A BUM LIKE YOU WHO ONLY SPENDS IT ON GIRLS AND RUM!!
Jiraiya: Hey hey, calm down shortie I was only going to ask for a couple of dollars-err yen.
Ed: I'M NOT SHORT!!
Goes on typical psycho insecure about his height rampage.
Al: ED!! Calm down you're making a scene!!
Jiraiya: Yeah….people will start thinking I'm crazy if you keep acting like that around me.
Ed: YOU ARE THE CRAZY ONE!! Give me one good reason why we should give you money?! HUH! I mean we go out of our way to warn your anime about this greater evil and you try to milk us in the process of helping you!!
Jiraiya: That's not true….
Ed: Oh yeah?? Then where the hell is this Naruto guy at? I mean you were supposed to help us find him right?!
Jiraiya: Hey that's not fair, these things take time….
Ed: AND TIME IS SOMETHING WE DON'T HAVE!
Jiraiya: Well I'm sorry Ted-
Ed: ED!
Jiraiya: Whatever, it's just hard for me to do missions like this anymore…..even if I still am strikingly handsome and young looking, I'm actually quite old….these bones are just too weak to, go faster….and my lungs, oh my poor lungs…..I may die from air loss in my lungs if I don't get the money to pay for my operation….(cough) But that's okay, at least I'll die…..trying…(cough) (cough)
Al: Oh! You poor old man!! Here we are dragging you around while you're dying!! Ed give him some money!
Ed: HE'S LYING!!
Al: ED!! How could you say that?!
Jiraiya: It's okay (cough) Mr. Robot…..if your brother wants to be cheap let him be cheap….
Ed: CHEAP?!
Al: Come on Ed! Look into his eyes and tell me those are the eyes of a liar?
Jiraiya does puppy dog eyes.
Ed: Fine fine!
Gives money to Jiraiya.
Jiraiya: Thanks (cough) kid….now I can get that liver operation….
Ed: …..Liver? Funny I could have sworn it was your LUNGS!
Jiraiya: Uhh…..
Runs off.
Ed: COME BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!!
Kakashi: Back to Lee!
Rock Lee:…..I've failed you Sakura…I'm sure by now Sasuke or Naruto had found you….I guess this means that your beautiful lips will not be mine….
Random Voice: LEEEE!
Rock Lee: Who said that?! Gai sensei?!
Random Voice: Noooo Leee!! I am your conscience…..
Rock Lee: My conscience?
Random Voice: Yes Leeee, I am the heart behind your thoughts……
Rock Lee: Really?!
Random Voice: Yesssss….Now Lee I can tell your feeling bad over that Sakura girl….
Rock Lee: Yeah….
Random Voice: Well don't give up Leeee, you still have a chance to save her!!
Rock Lee: How?
Random Voice: Just believe in the power of loooove!
Rock Lee:…Oh I see! You want me to use my love for Sakura as a motivation to save her!
Random Voice: Yeah sure whatever…
Rock Lee: I WON'T LET YOU DOWN RANDOM VOICE!!
Random Voice: GOOD! Now goooo Leeee….Goooooo!
Rock Lee: I'm going! Sakura, here I come!
Runs off.
Shino: WAHAHAHA! I knew he would fall for it! I set up a trap and with that trap he will be trapped and gone forever then I'll be the one who can correct everything!! WAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Rock Lee: It seems that random voice is laughing, he must have thought of something funny…Oh well….I'LL SAVE YOU SAKURA!!
Skips over bear trap.
Rock Lee: LALALALA!
Shino:……GRR!! No matter I'll just set another one!
Somehow gets ahead of Lee, digs a whole, and covers it with a bunch of leaves.
Shino: Crap! Here he comes!
Rock Lee: LALALA!
Skips over pit.
Rock Lee: LALALA!
Shino:………WTF?!
Gets paint and paint brush out of nowhere. Paints tunnel into rock.
Shino: HAH!
Hides in bushes.
Rock Lee: LALALA!
Skips into tunnel.
Shino: But how the?!
Tries to run into tunnel, gets smashed in the face.
Shino: Uggg…..this means war!
Reviewer: WAIT! STOP THE STORY!
Oshibaru: WHAT?!
Reviewer: Okay, this is very confusing…weren't they in the mall?! How did all of these things come to be in the mall?!
Oshibaru: Ummmm….well…..
Reviewer: This story doesn't even make sense!
Oshibaru: Well, plenty of people already pointed that one out genius.
Reviewer: I mean, isn't the narrator made to tell us where he is? This new narrator sucks.
Oshibaru: Wait a second…
Throws Oshibaru puppet.
Geenie: YOU'RE THE OLD NARRATOR!!
Reviewer: That's correct Geenie.
Geenie: WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU INTERUPTING MY STORY?!
Reviewer: I thought I would become a reviewer of your story. You can't really fire me from that…
Geenie: ……..AHHHHH!! STOP TRYING TO MOCK ME!!
Reviewer: I'm not mocking, I'm reviewing. And now, I think you should explain to the rest of us reviewers, why Rock Lee is suddenly in the forest…
Geenie: SCREW YOU!!
Gets Oshibaru puppet.
Oshibaru: Son of a-LIFE WITH DEREK! Geenie why did you throw me?! And what's with Disney censoring everything?!
Disney Sponsor: Oh were in the process of dubbing your story.
Oshibaru: WHAT?!
Disney Sponsor: Now I suggest you go to the next scene, we have to be at a Mickey Mouse Ice show in 20 minutes.
Oshibaru: You ba-BUNNIES!
Kakashi: Meanwhile where Kiba and Akamaru are….
Kiba: Okay Akamaru, explain everything to me!
Akamaru: Okay I will, but I can't do it here….we need to get outside of this mall….
Kiba: Fine!
Both walk out of mall.
Kiba: Okay, now tell me what in the hell-o Kitty is going on!
Akamaru: You won't like it once I tell you…
Kiba: No, humor me!
Akamaru: Kiba,
Kiba: Yeah?!
Akamaru: I am…
Kiba: YEAH?!
Akamaru: The-
Itachi: Oh hey there you are boss!! Kisame is getting beaten by a group of old ladies for scaring their grand kids again…
Akamaru: I'm the leader of the Akatsuki!
Kiba:….WHAT?!
Akamaru: I thought I made it quite clear that I'm the leader of the Akatsuki…
Itachi: I thought it was spelt Akatskii…
Akamaru: I have no effin clue….
Kiba: You mean to tell me my best friend, my dog is the leader of the Akatsuki?!
Itachi: Or Akatskii…
Kiba: WHATEVER!! BUT AKAMARU, HOW, WHY?!
Akamaru: You wanna know why?!
Kiba: And how…
Akamaru: FINE! I'll tell you why and how!!
Itachi: Hmm.Is this going to end up in flash back?
Akamaru: Yes! Now quiet you….
Itachi: Yes sir..
Kiba: This is weird…
Akamaru: It started right before you got me Kiba…right before then…with my first owner….
FLASHBACK!!
Akamaru: He was a quite young boy….Never caused problems…but he never loved me…
Itachi: Awww…
Akamaru: Didn't I say quiet?!
Itachi: Sorry…
Akamaru: Anyway, he never loved me. Never paid attention to me…He never he even petted me….I was a gift for him for his birthday….and you know what he said when he first got me?!
Kiba: What?
Akamaru: He said…
Boy: A stupid mutt?!
Akamaru: He never liked me because he thought I was too stupid!! So I taught myself how to talk!! But before I could show him he gave me away to your mom!! So now, I want to take over Konoha and prove to him how smart I really am!!
Kiba: Who was the kid?
Akamaru: Negi Hyuga.
Kakashi: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!
Kiba: Akamaru, Negi is a asshole to everyone…Don't let his assholeness make you become a cold and bitter..puppy? I'm just saying, if he never gave you to my mom we would have never became such a great team!! Come on Akamaru, remember the good times we had in Konoha?! The missions we did together?! You can't turn your tail on that! You can't turn your tail on Konoha!
Akamaru: Maybe your right Kiba…We did have some good times….
Kiba: YES WE DID!
Akamaru: But…not good enough.
Itachi: Yes!
Akamaru: Now you've proved yourself loyal, but will you join me in the destruction of Konoha Kiba?
Kiba:…Why me?
Akamaru: Like you said, we do make a great team…
Kiba: Uhhh…
Itachi: Join us and everything you ever wished for will come true…
Akamaru: Yeah Deidara got that sex change he wanted…
Kiba: Anything I want?
Akamaru: Anything you want.
Kiba: Hmmm…
Kakashi: Back to Naruto!!
Naruto: Hey Ryuk, how does the Death Note work anyway?
Ryuk: Read the rules on the inside I don't feel like explaining…
Naruto: But they're in English!
Ryuk: So is this story….
Naruto: Yeah, but I'm still Japanese or….whatever Konoha is….
Ryuk: Got any apples?
Naruto: No…But I got this heart stopping ramen..
Ryuk: Feh, I like apples better…
Naruto: HEY!! YOU GOT WINGS RIGHT?!
Ryuk: Yeah?
Naruto: Can you fly over the mall and see where Sakura is?!
Ryuk: If you get me a dozens apples maybe…
Naruto: Aww…where in the hell am I going to get a dozen apples?!
Ryuk: Not my problem…I'm your witness, not your guardian angel.
Naruto:…I wish I never got this thing!
Ryuk: Yeah especially with the fact it basically seals your fate…
Naruto: WHAT?!
Ryuk: Nothing nothing…
Naruto: Are you hiding something from me Ryuk?
Ryuk: No no….
Naruto: Yeah you are!
Ryuk: No I'm not!
Naruto: Then what's that behind your back?
Ryuk: Nothing….
Hiding 13th book of Death note.
Naruto: STOP LYING!!
Jiraiya: Oh come on kid…it was just a joke…I'll take you to Naruto now…
Backed up against a wall.
Ed: No second chances…
Al: Ed…Calm down..
Ed: NO!! THIS GUY IS GOING TO GET IT!!
Jiraiya: But but…I SWEAR! I KNOW WHERE HE IS!!
Ed: Oh yeah? Where?!
Jiraiya: Ummm…He's..he's…
Ed: You don't know where he is…do you?!
Jiraiya: Yeah umm he's-
Naruto: GIMME THAT BOOK BEHIND YOUR BACK!
Jiraiya: Huh? Naruto?
Ed: What? Who was that?!
Jiraiya: I hear Naruto…
Ed: Where?!
Al: Is that him in the orange jumpsuit over in that parking lot over there?
Jiraiya: Yeah! That's him! Told you I knew where he was!
Ed: Uh-huh….I guess I'll forget about killing you for now…
Jiraiya: Come on! Let's go!
All of them start walking over there.
Naruto: Why are you laughing at me Ryuk?! What's soo funny?!
All three of them hide in bushes.
Ed: Why is he talking to himself?
Jiraiya: I don't know…
Al: Doesn't seem like anybody else is there…..What's going on Mr. Jiraiya?
Jiraiya: Maybe…he's…
Ed: What made a imaginary friend?! Don't tell me this guy is nuts!
Jiraiya: He seemed fine the last time I saw him…maybe he's just really tired..
Naruto: I'm wide awake Ryuk!! I know that you're hiding something from me!
Jiraiya: Okay…maybe he's hungry…
Naruto: And I'm also full of ramen!!
Jiraiya: Well umm…maybe he's just joking around..
Naruto: I'm completely serious about this!!
Jiraiya: Okay…he's lost his mind.
Ryuk: Hey Naruto, who's those guys staring at you in those bushes?
Naruto: What?!
Turns around.
Naruto: AHHH!! IT'S SHINO ISN'T IT?!
Jiraiya: Actually it's us…
All three of them come out.
Naruto: Pervy Saige?
Jiraiya: Yeah, these two freaks want to tell you something related to Sakura's kidnapping.
Ed: We're not freaks!!
Al: Ed, calm down!!
Naruto: Really?! Wow I'm meeting all kinds of weird people…
Jiraiya: Yeah…
Naruto: Oh this is Ryuk…
All three of them stare at Naruto awkwardly.
Naruto: Yeah I know, he's very very very scary looking…
Jiraiya: Umm Naruto….You feeling alright?
Naruto: GREAT! Why do you ask?
Jiraiya: Well…you see…
Ed: THERE'S NO ONE BEHIND YOU!
Naruto: WHAT?! Yes there is!! See? Ryuk's right here! Can't you hear him laughing?
Al:….Maybe we should go…
Naruto: No! You said had something to tell me!
Ed: What good is it going to do if your psycho?!
Naruto: I'm not psycho!! Tell them Pervy Saige!!
Jiraiya: Don't involve me in this kid…
Naruto: What?! But Ryuk is right here!! Tell them Ryuk! Why are you laughing so badly?!
All three of them start backing away from Naruto.
Naruto: Wait guys! Don't go!! Ryuk!! Do something!!
Ryuk: Hyuk Hyuk….Okay, I guess I should tell you.
Naruto: Tell me what?!
Ryuk: Unless they touch the Death Note, they can't see me…
Naruto: Oh…..
Jiraiya: Umm we'll just go now…
Naruto: NO! WAIT! TOUCH THIS!!
Jiraiya: What?!
Throws Death Note at Jiraiya's head.
Jiraiya: OW! Naruto! What in the hel-AHHHHH!!
Ryuk: Hello.
Jiraiya: What is that thing?!
Ryuk: I'm a shinigami, not a thing…
Jiraiya: Whatever!! What is it?!
Ryuk: I just explained that I'm a shinigami…
Ed: Why are you screaming? What is this thing?
Picks up Death Note.
Ed:…AHH!! IT'S ENVY ON CRACK!!
Ryuk: HEY!
Al: Lemme see!
Picks up Death Note.
Al: AHHHHHHHHHHH!! SOOO SORRY FOR SCREAMING BUT YOU'RE FREAKY LOOKING!! SORRY FOR CALLING YOU FREAKY!! I'M ALSO SORRY FOR HIDING!!
Ryuk: No problem, this is hilarious…got any apples?
Kakashi: Will Ryuk ever get his apples?! Will Kiba help Akamaru destroy Konoha?! Will that prick of a reviewer ever leave?!
Reviewer: Don't count on it.
Kakashi: ..YOU BETTER WATCH OUT.
Reviewer: Yeah yeah, just finish up already.
Kakashi: Will Sakura ever get rescued?! Will Gaara ever get over his traumatic experience with pokemon?! Will Sasuke ever outlive the next chapter? What about Tsunade? Is she a goner?! And what about Konoha?! Will it be blown up to pieces?! Find out this and much much much much more in the next extreme confusing tasty story of Gone with the Wind!!
Oshibaru: BAKALICIOUS.
Kakashi: BAKALICIOUS!!
KAY! DONE! So….how was it? Sucky right?! Sorry about not updating when I said I was going to….a lot of crap came up…towards the end of July my internet was turned off for two weeks…sooooo yeah….I hope you guys like it and it doesn't seem rushed….I get piles of homework now so expect slower updates….oy….DAMN YOU HOMEWORK DA-DISNEY APOLOGISES FOR THE CONSTANT CURSING!! WE SHALL RECALL ALL COPIES OF THIS STORY!! JUST SEND IT IN!! I shall try to update soon!!