A/N: Ok, this is a long one. I don't have much to say except...have some patience with the characters? Please review! Reviews motivate me to write more and update quickly. I write the most the day after I post a chapter because of the feedback. More reviews mean quicker updates! And I do reply to all reviews. Oh and I usually update every couple of days but there isn't an exact schedule.
There are always decisions to make. Which class should I take? Which girl should I ask? Is this worth it? Some bigger than others.
So why the hell does this seem like a life turning decision?
It's right there, the red ribbon. The chocolate right next to it, and the twenty all the way to the right.
I start to walk toward the money, but then I stop. The ribbon and the chocolate start to disappear with every step I take closer to the twenty-dollar bill.
What? No! They can't fade away. The other two have to exist.
But I can't turn toward them. They start to disappear again, slowly. No! My heart is beating, my adrenaline pumping. Walk toward them!
I can't. My feet won't move. Frustrated, I cry out in anger.
My eyes snap open. Damn fucking dream. At least that's farther than I ever got before. Usually, it just ends with me seeing all three objects.
I lift my head and look around, disoriented.
The room was dark, and I realized I wasn't alone.
Bella was sound asleep in my arms.
We were both fully dressed, and on top of the covers.
She was on her back, and my head was on her chest, my arm wrapped around her waist. My arm underneath her was asleep. Our legs were tangled.
The gentle rocking of her breasts almost lulled me back into a deep sleep.
We must have fallen asleep without realizing it. But the lights were off.
I sure as hell didn't turn them off, and I doubt Bella did.
Must have been her dad. I'm surprised he didn't wake us up and shoot me for being in the same bed with his daughter.
I tried to move my hand around the bed to find my phone and check the time.
I unwrapped my arms, gently untangled my legs from hers, and rolled over onto my back. But Bella rolled over also, less than two seconds later.
Her head was on my chest, her arms wrapping themselves around my neck. One of her legs hitched itself around my waist. It felt great, to have her around me like a vine. Her warm presence made me unwilling to move.
I tried to slide out from under her, but stilled when she started to move around.
"Wha-what?" she slurred in a sleepy voice.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
She shot straight up at the sound of my voice, startled. She sat up a straighter when she realized that it was me.
"Oh, it's you. What time is it?"
"I don't know, I was trying to find out," I said quietly while reaching blindly for my phone.
Ahah! Got it. I clicked the home button, and we both shielded our eyes from the blinding light.
"3:45" is what the screen read.
I chuckled awkwardly. "I guess I stayed longer than a little while."
"Yea I guess so. Did you turn off the lights?"
"No, I think that was your dad."
"My dad? Really? I'm surprised he didn't kick you out."
"You're surprised? I'm waiting for the gunshot."
She laughed at my lame joke.
I stretched my fingers out. "I'll just go now..."
She giggled. "You don't need to leave in the middle of the night. I'm sure it's fine if you stay, you've already been here for...over nine hours."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
Who am I to object to her hospitality? "Alright. I'll put an alarm on my phone a little earlier though, so I have time to go home in the morning before school."
Normally, I wouldn't care about being on time to school. But first period is with Bella, so..do I need to explain?
Ugh, great. I'm going to be on time every day now until I win Bella over.
It's funny how easy it is to say now. To admit to myself that I want to be with Bella.
We both took of our shoes and socks, and threw them onto the floor. Bella unbuttoned her shirt and took it off, leaving her black camisole on.
She slid in under the covers on the left side, and me the right.
I don't normally sleep with a shirt on, or pants for the matter, just my boxer briefs. But I didn't think Bella would be too comfortable with that. Or her dad, if he decided to pop in again.
I placed my phone on the floor next to the bed.
"Well, night." Bella said after a yawn. She was facing me, on her side. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, so I could see her face when she closed her eyes. I could tell when she fell asleep, which was almost instantly.
Her shoulders moved rhythmically, and her mouth was slightly open.
Her right thumb touched both of her lips.
I smiled and closed my eyes, imagining myself wrapping my arm around her fragile body. Pulling her close to my chest, tucking her head under my chin.
"Edward."
I opened my eyes. "Yes?" I asked.
"Mhmmm," she said incoherently.
I grinned to myself. I forgot, she sleep talked.
I propped myself up on one elbow to hear what else she would say.
She rolled onto her back, half of her hair going onto the left side of her face. Her head was turned toward me.
Both of her arms went on top of the blankets. The right arm was laying on where her stomach should be. The other hand was laid out to the left of her.
"Ed..ward," she whispered.
I grinned again at the sound of my name coming from her dream state.
"Don't leave," she said breathlessly.
That took me off guard.
She wants me to stay? How long? Where? When? Just in general or literally?
Wait, she could be having a dream about me leaving her on an abandoned boat, or a lost island.
I just killed my own joy. I lay back down in contemplation. Bella whispered my name again, but it frustrates me, and brings joy to me at the same time.
Is it a good dream? I hope so. She dreams about me?
That's wonderful. Wonderful? Yes, wonderful. Whether it's a good or bad dream, I'm still on her mind.
I fell asleep thinking about Bella whispering my name, but doing it fully conscious.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! What the FUCK is that?
I lifted my head, disoriented, and realized it's the alarm on my phone. I reached around blindly to shut the damn thing off.
Bella groaned, and yesterday's memories came flooding back to me. Right, I stayed over.
I was on my back, my head to the side. Bella's head rested right below my neck, on the center of my collar bone. Her arms were wrapped around my neck. Her left leg was hitched around my waist. My left leg was on top of her right one, holding her down. Both my arms were wrapped around her tightly. Imagine if we were in this position naked.
Bella groaned again and lifted her head. It took her a moment to take in the situation. When she realized she was cocooned around me she gave a subtle "Oh" and shot up off of me, sitting up beside me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" But I cut her off. I definitely was not sorry, but I couldn't tell her that.
"No, it's fine. I had my arms and legs around you too, did I not?" I rubbed my eyes and sat up next to her.
"Yea, I guess so." She said softly, blushing. Her mouth formed an "O" as she yawned and she stretch like a cat. Her stretching displaced her clothing, leaving a lot of open skin for me to gawk at. I recovered before she noticed, and before I got a hard-on.
I took note of her appearance. Her brown hair was literally all over the place. Her cheeks were flushed, as was the top of her chest.
"Your hair is a fucking mess," I told her.
She rolled her eyes at me. "Gee thanks." I may have been day dreaming but I swear to god I heard her mumble "We can't all have sex hair" as she turned away from me and laid back down.
Sex hair? Really? I grinned. I really hope that's what she said. Definitely an ego booster.
I got up to put my shoes and all the other crap on.
I raised my eyebrow. It's six thirty, I guess it's early, but not really. Is she actually going back to sleep?
"Hey, loser, are you really going back to sleep?" I asked her.
She mumbled something incoherently that I couldn't understand and raised her hand to give me the finger. I laughed and left the room.
In hallway toward the front door, I walked directly into Bella's dad. Fantastic. Because I was so looking forward to some awkward questions.
"Morning, Chief." I said enthusiastically.
"Yeah, morning. I would rather be saying good night." He was in his police uniform, ready to leave, just as I was.
He can't be that upset, otherwise I would have been kicked out as soon as he saw me in bed with his daughter.
"Yeah, well, sorry about that. It was late, and we fell asleep." "We were above the covers and everything." I added in as an afterthought.
He huffed at me. "Last time I checked you two were pretty wrapped up in each other. Above the covers or not."
'Unintentionally." I clarified.
"You were above the covers, unintentionally?" he asked in disbelief, raising both of his eyebrows.
"No not that part! Not that we would do anything under the covers though. I meant the wrapping part, that was..unintentional," I am not making this sound better.
"Really?"
"Yes," I confirmed quickly. Why am I so nervous? I never broke a sweat before when dealing with Chief Swan. I haven't ever been this polite with him either.
"I'm gonna trust that Bella wouldn't do anything stupid. She's a smart girl. I know her. So you're off the hook. But if I ever find that you make her do something...stupid, you better hide. You got that?" He said sternly.
"Yes Chief." I stood there for a few moments, not sure what to do.
"See ya," I said with a quick wave before ducking out and leaving. I left in my car to go home. Wow, that went a lot better than I thought it would. I was sure her dad was going to flip a shit at me.
Either he really trusts his daughter or...he really trusts his daughter, because he sure as hell doesn't trust me.
I drove home extremely giddy. I wonder if my head ever ended up on her boobs during the night. Ugh, I would be unconscious for that.
When I got to the house, Rose was already awake, sitting in the kitchen with a yogurt. She was wearing gym shorts and a tank. Her running sneakers sat next to her chair.
"You go to the gym this early?" I asked her when she turned around to look at me.
"Why not? Your mom said I can borrow her car. You wanna come?"
"I have school, Rose." Obviously I have school.
"So skip first period, you idiot. I've been here for almost a week and I barely see you. Way to treat a guest."
I rolled my eyes at her. "You don't count as a guest anymore. And I told you about the thing with Bella, it's not my fault."
"Whatever." She said while putting on her sneakers. "So are you coming or what?"
"I-I can't." I stuttered. I hope she doesn't ask why.
She stood up and crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at me. "And why the hell not?"
"I just can't. It's none of your business."
"What is up with you? You've been such a dick to me lately. You've been practically ignoring me. It's really pissing me off." She asked.
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Rose tends to just say what she thinks, no dancing behind the truth. If she has a problem with you, it's not going to be a secret."I'm sorry, Rose. I just..have a lot on my mind. There's a party this weekend we can go to, since you're staying longer than I thought."
I turned to leave and go shower. Half way up the stairs, Rose shouted my name, stopping me in my tracks. I turned around to look at her. She was standing at the foot of the stairs, grinning.
"What?!" I demanded, annoyed.
"What class does Bella have first period?" she asked, her grin getting even wider.
My face fell at her words. I didn't bother answering, she damn well knew the answer. I just stared at her, annoyed. Rose laughed and jogged toward the garage while I stood there, annoyed that she was having so much fun at my expense.
She turned around again before she was out of my sight. "Oh, Edward? We can talk about what happened last night later, because I know you want to." She winked and finally left the house.
I hate that bitch sometimes.
I showered and dressed for school rather quickly. Jasper and I got into the car after breakfast. Halfway to school, Jasper turned the radio down and faced me.
Since I was driving, I couldn't turn to him, but he had my attention.
"Chief Swan called Mom and Dad last night to tell them you were staying over," he said.
"Ok, so?"
"Well you're lucky. Mom was going to call Bella to see if you were lying about staying later."
"Well I wasn't."
"I know. At first, I thought you were lying. But then I didn't."
I sighed. "I really don't see what you're getting at Jazz. Just spit it out, will you?"
"Fine. You've been awfully weird lately. I just wonder if Bella has noticed."
"I don't know what you're talking about." It was like an automatic response. What am I supposed to do besides deny it?
"Sure you do. Just don't screw it up, because I know you will. I hope you know what you're doing."
That frustrated me. My hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Obviously I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! There isn't a fucking manual that tells you how make a girl you bullied not see red when she looks at you now is there? So if you have some big secret to help me out, it would be a great time to share."
"See, that right there. If you stay mad at the world all the time, you're gonna screw it up."
"I was in a perfectly good mood before I came home," I muttered like a petulant child.
He didn't comment until we got to school. I pulled into my parking space and turned the car off. I got out of the car when Jasper decided to speak up again.
"Did you sleep with her?"
"NO!" I screamed so loud that the people around us jumped at the sound. I slammed the door shut and walked toward the school, but Jasper stayed right beside me.
"Sorry, man. I had to ask." Of course he had to ask. Anyone who knows me would think I slept with her.
I sighed. "Yeah, I know. God, I need a smoke or something." I muttered.
"That bad, huh?" Jazz asked me. I only smoked when I was frustrated, and frustration is all I've been feeling the last two weeks. Frustrated at school, Bella, my parents, and my goddamn messed up sleep. Frustrated at myself.
"You should talk to Alice and Rose. I bet they'll know a thing or two about this."
"Hell no. I don't need to go talk about my feelings with your girlfriend, who I've met a total of one time. What am I?"
"I'm just saying. Alice said tha-"
"You talk to Alice about me?!" I asked incredulously. What the fuck is wrong with him? She doesn't even know me.
"Woah, calm down. Again with the fucking temper. Maybe you do need a smoke."
"Whatever. Don't tell Rose."
Rose throws a fit every time I smoke. Apparently with my drinking every weekend, smoking isn't helping. It's not like I do it every fucking day. Liam and I just need to relax sometimes.
He rolled his eyes. "Obviously not."
I heard the bell ring, signaling the end of home room. I guess Jasper and I shouldn't have stood in the front entrance talking for so long. Oh well. Jasper didn't care, and neither did I. Mom was slacking with the attendance rule, which probably had to do with the fact that I was handing in most of my homeword AND I haven't gotten a call home in almost two weeks. I deserve a reward.
We parted ways without saying bye. I went toward my locker to get my things, ignoring everyone who said hi to me in the hallways.
I was pulling out a few books when two random girls leaned next to my locker. I sighed and turned toward them. "Yes?" I asked expectantly.
I think they we seniors. The taller one spoke up.
"So is it true?" she asked.
"Very specific." I said sarcastically, while walking away. They began to walk next to me, ignoring my tone.
"That your friends with Swan now?"
I glared at her. Why does everyone find the need to get into my business. Can't they just admire from afar?
"Why?"
"Just..because."
"Great fucking answer."
"Well, you like, hated her. So what, now, you just don't?"
"Bye," I said rudely, walking into my civics class, completely ignoring her question.
I sat down next to Bella like usual. Today she was wearing a green and red striped cardigan.
It was tight in all the right places, and made her boobs look fantastic. Do not stare Edward, do not stare at her chest.
"Hey," she said happily.
"Hey," Then I laughed. "You look like a christmas tree," I pointed out. But damn if a tree could be sexy...
She scowled and looked down at her outfit. "I haven't done laundry, it's cold, and this is the last thing I have."
"Just joking Bella, you look fine."
"Oh," she said.
It's always cold though. Maybe she should buy more sweaters. Tight sweaters. Sweatshirts would work too I guess. Tight sweatshirts. Tight, zip-up sweatshirts. Wait, she still has my sweatshirt.
"Hey, you never gave my sweatshirt back," I accused her. She flushed red at my comment.
"I forgot. You could have reminded me."
"I'm reminding you now. Brin-"
"Cullen!" I turned my attention away from Bella to glare at Mr. Grole.
I raised my eyebrows at him. "What?"
"I would appreciate it if you and Ms. Swan would turn your attention to the class."
"Did the bell even ring?" I asked.
"What do you think?" He said sharply.
"Fine, whatever." He scowled at me and began his lesson.
I turned to look at Bella to see her blushing and biting her lip. I chuckled, that's probably her first time getting scolded by a teacher.
"What?" she mouthed to me.
I shook my head at her. Our conversation wasn't done yet. I put my binder standing on my lap against the desk. Then I took my phone out and held it behind my binder so Grole couldn't see.
I finished what I was saying before in a text instead. 'Bring it tomorrow,' I wrote, and clicked send.
I looked over at Bella, who appeared oblivious. After a few minutes, I got impatient. I crumpled a piece of paper and threw it at her face. She yelped, effectively stopping Grole in his lecture.
"Is there a problem, Ms. Swan?"
"No, of course not. I thought I saw a, um..bug."
Grole didn't look convinced, but considering Bella wasn't usually one to act out, he accepted her excuse and turned his attention back to the class.
Bella turned to face with an annoyed look. "What?" she whispered harshly.
I waved my phone to her, hinting that she should check hers.
She rummaged through her backpack quietly before pulling out her phone and hiding it behind her notebook. She read my text and smirked at me.
I saw her type in a message and click send.
It took a minute or two for it to reach mine.
'Maybe if you're nice, you can get it back later. :P'
I raised an eyebrow at her, remembering when I said those same words to her last week. She smiled sweetly at me.
'Low blow Swan'
'Taste of your own medicine Cullen'
I grinned. 'I bet you feel pretty cool, huh?' I text her.
'Hell yeah.'
'I've been a bad influence on you. Bullying other people now? Shame.'
'Bullying you. Doesn't count in my book.'
I face her and pretend to act hurt before typing my response. She rolls her eyes at me.
'So what? I'm not a person.'
'You're more like..some weird, egotistical and arrogant creature.''
'Weird creature. Really shows your imagination.'
'You forgot the egotistical and arrogant part. Do I seem like an art person to you?'
'You could be. No musical instruments?'
'Tried that, failed miserably. You?'
'Of course you did. Sort of.'
'Sort of?'
'Yeah..'
'You wanna elaborate?'
I sighed. 'I know a little piano.'
'Are you good?'
'I'm good at everything. What kind of question is that?'
When she didn't answer right away, I looked up to see what the problem was. Grole was standing right in front of my desk, pissed. I sighed again and slid my phone into my back pocket.
He crossed his arms. "Something you want to share with the class Mr. Cullen?"
"Not exactly."
"Office." He said promptly, pointing to the doorway.
Great. "Fun," I muttered. I packed up my things to leave. I glanced at Bella before I left, she mouthed "Sorry".
I waved it off, making it clear I really didn't care. I know Maze said she would expel me the next time I acted out, but it's not like I have been doing anything that bad.
I didn't bother knocking, but just walked into her office and sat down, propping my legs up on the chair next to me.
She didn't even look up from the papers on her desk when she spoke. "Nice to see you make yourself at home, Edward"
I rolled my eyes at her indifference.
She piled some papers together before setting her eyes upon me.
"So what is it this time?" She doesn't even know? I could have just taken a lap in the hallway for the rest of the period.
"Fucking Gro-"
"Language!" She scolded.
"Fine. I'll rephrase. Freaking Grole-"
"Mr. Grole," she corrected.
"-overreacted," I finished.
"Really? So what did you do to make him, overreact, as you say." She said it with a smirk though.
"I forgot to put my phone away."
"You forgot?"
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"Yup."
"I find that hard to believe."
"Well believe it."
I stared at her, waiting for my punishment. It's not even a big deal! People text all the time during class. It's just because it's me.
She tapped her fingers against the desk. I sighed heavily, waiting for her to say something.
"Considering you have followed my orders, and the fact that I've barely seen you in here the past two weeks, I'll let you off."
I raised my eyebrow at her.
"Really?" I questioned further. There has to be a catch.
"Really," she stated. "I've been getting decent reports from your teachers about your homework getting turned in. I'll let this slide. Don't let it go to your head."
I stood up. "Great. See you around." I left before she could get another word in.
There was still twenty minutes left of first period, and I didn't want to go back to class.
I left through one of the side entrance and hid behind a dumpster. I pulled a cigarette and lighter out of my backpack. I always kept a few just incase, though I didn't use them often.
I lit the cigarette and took a deep breath.
As I smoked, I thought about what Jasper said.
Am I really fucked? Why do I even need a plan? I can just play it by ear.
What happens when this babysitting thing ends? What if I haven't made my move by then?
How do I even make a move? I can't exactly walk up to her and say, "Hey Bella, I have this gigantic obsession with you. I know I used to make your life miserable and everything, but I want to date you."
Yeah, real good Edward. She wouldn't even let you kiss her.
Baby steps.
But I don't want baby steps! I want her now!
I sound like a two-year old. "Ughh" I groaned. I threw the cigarette on the ground and stamped on it with my foot before going back inside to second period.
I was a few minutes late to Chem, but the teacher didn't notice.
I slid into my desk, and noticed Conner still sat beside me. If he gives me any shit, I swear to god I'm gonna flip over a desk.
But he didn't say anything to me. Fine with me.
My phone vibrated in my back pocket, and I made extra sure that the teacher wasn't looking when I read it. It was from Bella.
'How much trouble?'
I grinned. 'None.'
'Serious?'
'Yup. I told you I'm amazing.'
'I'm rolling my eyes at you right now.'
'You always roll your eyes at me. That's rude to do to people you know.' I replied.
'I thought we established you're a creature,' she clarified.
'How come I'm a creature but you're a person?'
'I don't know, it's just how things work.'
'Well, I don't like how things work. It's not fair.'
'You think I don't know that?' she messaged me.
'I never said you didn't. I just said I didn't like it.'
'Well I don't like a lot of things either.' This conversation is taking a more serious turn, I thought to myself as I read her text.
'Maybe I can fix them,' I offered.
'You can try.'
'I can't unless you tell me.'
'I think you can guess.'
'Obviously I can, I'm not an idiot.'
'So why do I need to tell you?'
'I don't know. It makes it official.'
'Official my ass. You're more than capable.'
'I think you're being difficult,' I quickly wrote and sent.
'I gotta go, bye,' she ended the conversation not so subtly.
I tried to pay attention for the rest of the class, I really did, but it was useless. I couldn't focus.
In the beginning of third period, I texted Bella.
'I'm a creature :).' Hopefully it makes up for my jackass comments.
I got a response twenty minutes later.
'I know.'
We texted the rest of the period, and most of fourth period. It was easy to keep the conversation going. It just morphed from one topic to another.
At lunch, I bought a ham and cheese sandwich, a bottle of water, and made my way to Bella's table, again. Everyone stared at us when I sat down, again. Bella ducked her head, again. I started to eat like everything was normal, again. And for the finale, Liam sat down with us, again.
"I feel like a celebrity sitting here," he commented to break the awkward silence.
"We've always been celebrities here," I joked.
"I don't know how you guys can just act like everything is so normal with all these eyes gawking at us," Bella said quietly. Her eyes scanned the room quickly, as did mine. Most people were starting to
avert their gazes after I made eye contact.
"Oh well. They have to get used to it eventually," Liam stated.
"Eventually? As in, you both are like, gonna keep sitting here?" she asked nervously, twirling her hair.
Did she not want me to sit here? Should I move? I could sit at my other table. Why doesn't she want us here? Is it me or Liam or both of us? Liam has been really nice and friendly. Maybe too nice? Does he seem fake? Do I seem fake? Just ask her you dimwit!
"Why, do we bother you?" I asked her.
"Well, I don't know."
"How do you not know? We either bother you or we don't."
"Well you're bothering me right now!" she snapped.
I rolled my eyes. "Sorry. Do you want us to move, because we can. If you want." Ugh, I don't want to move. I can see the guys outside of school whenever I want. I need to warm up to her before I make a move. which I can do during our lunch.
"No! I mean, not yet, at least."
Liam jumps into our conversation now too. "So what you're saying here, Bella, is that you eventually do not want sit with us two fine male specimen? Correct?"
"What, no! Well, maybe. I don't know, I don't mind right now, I guess."
"Well then it's settled!" I concluded. "We're staying."
Bella rolled her eyes at me and Liam chuckled at my enthusiasm.
"So Bella, what'd you think of the Pre-calc test yesterday," Liam asked. I doubt he was actually interested, but rather finding a harmless topic to discuss.
"Ugh, don't remind me. I think I barely scraped by with a passing grade on that."
That rang a distant bell in my memory. "You don't like math," I stated matter of factly.
"Ha! You should see her in class. Every time the teacher asks her a question she just gapes at him not knowing what to say, and then stutters some nonsense answer. Lauren gave her hell last week for it, imita- Owww, shit! what the fuck was that for?!" I kicked him in the shin to shut him up, making him jump up. He caught my glare and quickly changed his course.
"Not that I find that funny, at all. Like that's really terrible how he singles you out, really terrible."
Bella laughed at...Liam? I'm not sure what she giggled at but she sure did giggle.
"Very discreet, Edward. It's fine, I'm used to it anyway," she declared with a wave of her hand.
"And are you really one to talk?" she directed to Liam.
I ignored their conversation, focused on how her hand fell onto her lap.
I wonder if she would mind if I held it. I've held it before. She was practically in my lap last night for Christs sake.
Discretion. I could use discretion. I moved my hand to her lap, slowly. Then I took hers into mine. She raised an eyebrow at me, and I raised one back.
That was easy. She didn't even protest. I bet I could seduce her right here in the cafeteria and no one would even notice. All about discretion.
I untangled out hands, but left mine on her thigh. I slowly inched upward, reaching the hemline of her top. I heard her gasp, but Liam was showing her something on his Iphone, which required her to use both hands. Perfect.
I slid under her shirt, my hand flat against her stomach. If anyone looked at me, they would see me engrossed in Liam and Bella's conversation and eating a sandwich...with my right hand.
Agonizingly slow, I circled her bellybutton with my middle finger, light enough so that it would tickle, and slow enough that her shirt wouldn't moved.
I slid my hand around her back up to her bra, toying with the clasp, discreetly of course.
I guess she wasn't in need of both of her hands any more, because she pulled mine away and held it tightly on my leg, still talking to Liam. I smirked and used my right one to hold hers, releasing the hand she originally pulled.
Bella tried to wiggle out of my grasp, but I only tightened my grip.
I slid under her shirt and to her back again. Her skin was so soft and smooth. Does she use those creams and prescriptions dermatologists recommend?
To bystanders, it looks as if I just have my arm wrapped around her, because the back of her chairs blocks the view.
I slither up to her bra, running my index finger under it. Then I unclasp, making her gasp.
I held the two ends together, releasing them slowly so that Liam wouldn't notice.
I slid my hand out from under her shirt.
"Bella I have a secret for you," I announce.
"Um, what?" she says nervously.
"Well it's a secret." I lean my head toward her, putting my lips at her ear like I was going to whisper something. I cupped my hand around my mouth so Liam couldn't hear...or see.
Instead, I licked her earlobe, then took it into my mouth to suck it lightly. She moaned at my touch, and I scraped my teeth against it. She moaned again, so I repeated the action while my hand trailed up her thigh. Higher and higher I moved my hand until it-
"Hey!" I shouted, rubbing my head. Someone smacked my head, hard. I turn to see Bella looking at me like I'm crazy, her eyebrows squished together.
"Dude, I called your name like six times," I hear Liam say to me.
Oh. I glanced at Bella's shirt, seeing her bra is exactly where it should be, and my hands were exactly where they should be: holding my half eaten sandwich. That was...weird. And hot. It would have been hotter if it actually happened. There seems to be a lot more thinking and no action going on with me lately.
"You hit me. That's not nice," I accused her.
She rolled her eyes at me. "While you were in Candyland, Liam was trying to get your attention. I was just helping." She shrugged her shoulders at me.
"Okaaay. As I was saying, you're still coming on Saturday, right?" he asked me.
"For?...Oh right, yeah I'll be there. I promised Rose, too. Am I bringing a handle?"
"No, I got it covered. You are officially invited, Bella. My folks have some dentist convention shit in Colorado. Party at my place on Saturday."
"Mmmh spending time with my classmates outside of school? How fun. Thanks, but no thanks"
"Hah, good point. But still, it should be more kids from out of town than in town. Hoqaim, Aberdeen, even some friends from Port Angeles. It's gonna be bangin. Off the chain. Fo shizzle ma nizzle." He started cracking up at his own jokes, and I can't help but join in with him.
"You guys are idiots."
I got out my last chuckles. "You're jealous. But you should come it'll be fun."
"I'll see." Liam wrote down his address for her.
The rest of the day dragged by. Bella didn't answer my text in fifth period. Or sixth. Or seventh.
We sat on opposite sides of the classroom in eighth period, so I set my bag down and walked over to her desk where she was doodling on a page in her notebook before class started.
"Did you get my message?" I asked her.
She got startled and jumped in her chair. "Um wha-what?" She stuttered, ripping the page out of her notebook, crumpling it and throwing it in her bag.
"Did you? Check your phone? For my text?" I enunciated each question clearly as if speaking to a child. Did I still bother her that much? Enough to scare her out of her seat? She didn't ever do that before. She practically ignored me whenever I came near her, acting as if I didn't exist.
"Oh, um no. Why?"
She shook her head so that her hair fell in front of her face, blocking my view. Now I can't even see if she blushes.
"Matt Damon texted you. Wants to take you out to dinner. Because I texted you! It was important. I just said that."
"Oh...right." She pulled her phone out and clicked some buttons, I can see her face now.
"Um Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"You texted me 'hi'. I thought you said it was something important."
Motherfucking shit I'm so fucking stupid. Fuck why did I say that? I sound like a stupid whiny and clingy girl who doesn't know how to give her man some space. I might as well ask Dad how to grow a vagina.
I think I might have even blushed, because my face was getting extremely hot. Most likely with a girly shade of red to compliment it. Fucking hell.
"Right, well um I-I just. Well I couldn't just come out and say it. It needed an introduction. That's common texting etiquette Bella. But nevermind, it wasn't that important."
She opened her mouth to respond to my pathetic lie but closed it when a pair of arms wrapped around my torso.
"Hey, Edward." I felt a kiss on my cheek too. Who is this.
"Um, hi." I turned awkwardly with the girl's arms wrapped around me. It was Chelsea. I haven't talked to her since the beginning of last week, what gives her the right to kiss my cheek? Well, maybe because I would have welcomed it with a mini make-out session.
She assumed as much, because the next thing I now her lips are on me. I automatically react, kissing her back, molding my lips to her. I shouldn't. If I want to make a move with Bella is french kissing another girl right in front of her mixed signals or what. I keep kissing Chelsea. Maybe this is what I needed. Chelsea will make me forget all about Bella, and I'll be back to normal.
She's not Bella though. I want to be kissing Bella, not Chelsea. And it's not working. I'm stuck comparing everything about the girl I'm devouring to Bella. Bella's lips are more uneven. Would Bella use less tongue, or more tongue? Does Bella use the same chapstick?
We have somehow turned so that Chelsea's back is to Bella. I think she's leaning back so that her hands are flat on the desk. This is not satisfying. I'm not even focused on the kiss, but rather following a train of thought about Bella's fucking lips.
"What the-ow!" Chelsea breaks aways from me to turn and glare at Bella.
"Oh sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I guess my binder scratched you," Bella explained and shrugged.
Ughhh I'm so fucking stupid. I'm not exactly showing myself in a better light by tonguing a random girl. And it didn't even fucking work. I am still thinking about Bella. Fuck. Mistake after fucking mistake.
I looked down to see an angry pink line on Chelsea's hand.
"You bitch! I'm gonna fucking kill you."
"Hey, calm down Chelsea, she said it was an accident," I said to avoid any commotion.
The entire class was watching now. All eyes glued to the three of us.
"I suggest you three settle down," Mrs. Scully spoke is a loud and authoritative voice. I look back to see her standing behind her desk.
"Stupid klutz," Chelsea muttered while going to sit down. I went to sit in my seat too.
The bell rang soon after, signaling the beginning of class.
I texted Bella again, but she didn't reply. She wouldn't make eye contact with me either. But she could have been completely oblivious to me trying to get her attention.
But she wasn't even paying attention to the Powerpoint. She was looking down at the desk, tapping her pencil against her notebook the entire time. She ran her hand through her long hair every couple of minutes too. In my mind, all I can think is that she is refusing to acknowledge me.
Ugh, I can't even be angry at her, not rationally. One, because she could just possibly be completely not aware of me right now. And two, because I don't have the right to be angry.
Did the kiss bother her? Why should it? Just because I'm obsessed with her, doesn't mean she is with me.
She probably didn't even care. What difference would it make to her? We decided to be friends, right? Well, friends don't care about the other having his or her tongue down a person's throat.
Okay, so I might flip a shit if I saw her doing it, but that's different. Because I want my tongue down her throat. I doubt she wants her tongue anywhere near me.
So there's nothing to worry about. It hasn't even fazed her. She doesn't have a reason to care or be upset.
This is so fucking hard to figure out. I know people say it's hard to understand girls, but this is a fucking jigsaw puzzle with my eyes blindfolded. I have NO idea how to read her. I can barely tell when she's genuinely happy, or fake happy.
Before I knew it, the bell rang and everyone rushed out of class with Mrs. Scully yelling at us to pick up the homework on the way out. I grabbed my stuff and tried to get to Bella, but she was the first one out.
I made my way into the hallway and saw her walking.
"Hey Bella, Bella. Bella!" She's either deaf or..she's deaf. "BELLA!" That stops her in her tracks, but she doesn't turn around. I make my way to her.
I chuckle to myself because majority of the people in the hallway have seem to lost their way and have taken to ogling Bella and I.
"Hey," I sigh to her. "Do you know how hard it is to get your attention?" We start walking, with her leading.
"Oh, well sorry." Her head slightly downward, and she ran her hand through her hair so that in fell in front of her face again. Well not directly in front, but still, it blocked my view, again.
"It's fine. We're still on for tonight right?"
"Yup."
"Okay."
"Okay."
I got frustrated from lack of her response and not knowing what she's thinking.
"Why won't you look at me," I ask annoyed.
"Everyone is staring at us."
I take a view of my surroundings, and sure enough everyone is still staring. Whatever.
"So what? What does that have to do with looking at someone when they talk. You're being rude."
"You're giving me a lecture on being rude, Edward? Good joke." Still not fucking looking at me. I just want to take her chin in my hand and force her to look at me. But, I can't.
"You seem upset. What'd I do?" I ask. Did Chelsea actually upset her? If that did annoy her does that mean...what? What would that mean? Why could she be upset from that? She could think I was rude. Disgusting. Invading her personal space. She could be annoyed Chelsea interrupted our conversation. She could be...jealous. That made me smile. If she's jealous that means she's...she could want me too. Right? Jealousy is when you want something that's not yours. No, that's not right. Jealousy is when it's already yours. Envy is when you want something that's not yours.
But, she's not. I'm not stupid. She can barely be friends with me. Have I forgotten how she wouldn't let me kiss her yesterday? Clearly, she could have done the same thing yesterday Chelsea did today. What the fuck has put her in this mood then? She's a constant thought process, and I've yet to come to the right conclusion.
"Why do expect it has to do with you?"
"Well you were fine at lunch."
"There was almost four hours between lunch and now, Edward. Anything could have happened between then and now."
"Then what the fuck happened?"
"It's none of your business."
I grinned. "Actually, I believe we're friends now. So you can tell me."
"You have got to-" Her sentence was interrupted by her falling straight into the ground. She was on her hands and knees, but scrambled up before I could help her. Unfortunately, not before the crowd of people took witness of what happened. On cue, everyone began to laugh hysterically at Bella. I tried to ignore them.
"Fuck, Bella, are you okay?"
"Yeah I, I'm fine." she muttered. What. The. Fuck. She's being so goddamn passive right now.
And she didn't just fall, she had to have tripped. I guarantee someone stuck their foot out for her to conveniently trip over.
We both turned to our right instinctively to see who the perpetrator was. I didn't even know his name. I knew his face, everyone knows everyone's face, but his name was a blank. He was still cracking up with his buddies.
"Hey Swan, I was thinking about buying you a fish. You know, so you can both gape like idiots in Pre-calc. You won't be so alone."
"Funny, Dan." Bella states, almost bored.
They were still laughing so I decided to step in. Could they not see me standing right here? With Bella? They were idiots.
I stepped up right in front of him. "I suggest you stop talking. Right now." I said it quietly, but looking straight at him. It scares the shit out of people when I do this.
And this loser was no different. His eyes widened when he realized who he was about to go up against. He raised his hands up in surrender. "Dude, chill out. It was a joke," he stammered nervously. Not so obnoxious now, huh? At least I can take my shit like a man. Not cower back.
I shifted my gaze to look at Bella, but she was gone. Great.
I rushed out of the school into the parking lot, hopefully she went to her locker first, so I'll still catch her before she leaves. I was in luck. Her truck still sat in the parking space. But I saw her walking swiftly toward it. I jogged my way to her, and then kept pace with her.
"Hey," I said. She looked up at me. FINALLY.
"Hi." Her tone was clipped.
"Okay what stick is up your ass?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why are you in such a bad mood?"
"Well forgive me, because being tripped and publicly singled out is just my favorite thing. I actually look forward to it. It just give me fucking butterflies. Such a fucking fantastic experience."
We were standing in front of her truck now, and it was drizzling. It would be full-out pouring soon.
"Well, just so you know. I told that jerk off."
"Really?" she asked sarcastically.
I furrowed my brows at her, scowling. "Yes, really. I thought you would be happy."
"Well, you thought wrong." So now it's my turn to be annoyed.
"I did? Really?"
"What did you expect? Gratification? A grand gesture?"
"Well, no. But thanks would have been nice."
"Honestly Edward, you were doing to same thing as him, expect no one told you off. He was following your lead."
Oh. Right. Fuck, I'm so fucking stupid. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have even done that.
"Fuck, Bella, I wasn't-I mean-I, I didn't mean, I was...I'm trying, okay?"
"I know," she sighed, almost reluctantly. The rain began to come down harder, splattering against the metal on her truck. She glowered at the sky like it did it just to upset her.
I watched her climb into the driver's seat and stuck my hand out to catch the door before it closed shut. "So..are we still on for tonight?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?" I smiled at her and shut the door, watching her drive away.
I avoided Rose at home. And Jazz and Mom and Dad. I felt really bad for practically ignoring Rosalie this past week, but I couldn't find it in me to put more of an effort in. I had enough on my mind.
Instead, I went to the gym until six thirty (after convincing Mom that I really was at the gym and not out doing drugs. She had to speak to a worker to believe me.)
I met up with Liam in the weights room. He asked me what was up, but didn't push it. He knew I would talk if I needed to.
But the problem was that I didn't know if I wanted to talk. I thought maybe if I thought everything over, everything would make more sense. But no, thinking led to over thinking which led to over analyzing and it was all very unproductive.
It's not as if I even had a legitimate problem to deal with. I just felt..weird, nervous. All jumbled up. It's like someone took my brain and shook it violently, scattering all of my organized and coherent thoughts. I can't figure out what to do or what's upsetting me so much. Of course it had to do with Bella, but I can't pinpoint the source of my stress.
I always know what to do. I know how to weasel myself out of trouble. I know how to drive a car. I know how cook. I know how to plagiarize without getting caught. I know how help Jazz or Liam if they have an issue. I know what to do if a party gets raided. I know how to act when questioned by Chief Swan with regards to the newest vandalism. I know how to think fast and efficiently.
But, hell, I don't know how to get Bella. I don't have a plan. I don't know what to say to make her smile. There's no clean-cut way to succeed. No script, no directions, no experience. There isn't a neon sign pointing me to the right direction.
All of this was going through my head while driving to her house.
Her dad was there today. When I knocked, he answered the door instead of Bella.
"Oh, is Bella here?"
"I'm here, I'm here," she muttered running down the stairs. Is it safe for her to run down the stairs with her...balance issues? She's going to trip or fall and crack her head open.
"Edward." Chief nodded toward me. "I'll be in the living room, Bells, if you need anything."
He gave me one last pointed look before trudging his way to the living room."
"What did you make for dinner? I can smell it." I asked her. Would it be rude to ask for some? I didn't eat dinner, but I don't want to be rude. I mean I can cook too but nothing of mine smells like this.
"Charlie's favorite, enchiladas. There's some leftovers if you want some."
"No, that's alright," I said politely.
She rolled her eyes at me and snorted. "Yeah, right. Here I'll get you a plate. It's still warm."
I chuckled and followed her into the kitchen. "Thanks." I leaned against the counter and watched her place some of the food onto a plate for me. After she handed me the plate we headed up to her bedroom where I dropped my backpack (yes, I actually remembered it today) at the end of her bed before sitting down.
Ok, Edward, make some conversation. Enchant her with your intelligence. Just compliment her, that's a start. But what? What should I compliment? Her cardigan. I already mentioned it this morning. Her jeans? No, she'll think I was checking out her ass, which I did. Shit shit shit this is a lot harder than I thought. I was fine yesterday, but today my mind is just a gigantic clusterfuck.
"Aren't you gonna eat it?"
"Oh right," I laughed nervously and took a stab at the food, spearing it onto my fork and taking a bite. Oh my god it's delicious. I scarfed it down in record time.
"You look like a caveman."
"Shut up I'm hungry." Her food! Compliment that!
"I like my eating!" I said hastily. Wait what? That didn't come out right.
"What?"
"I mean I like eati-no I like your eating."
She started laughing at me. "What?"
"Nevermind," I sighed.
I set my plate on the ground and we both pulled out our homework, laying it on the bed.
I'm so flustered today. She's going to notice, you idiot!
I got another idea as she slid open her calculator. Everyone likes a hot tutor.
"You know, I can help you out with your Pre-calc work. I'm in honors and it's not that difficult."
"Are you calling me stupid?"
"What, no?! I was-"
"Chill out, I was joking. Sure if I need help I'll let you know," she said with a cheeky grin.
We didn't talk that much, it was different from the rest of the days. It wasn't awkward, but it was still too silent for my liking. I was supposed to be warming up to her right now, but after the flattery fiasco, I lost my nerve. I kept opening my mouth to say something, start an interesting conversation, but always ended up shutting my mouth before any words came out.
I helped her with a few math problems, which was what I was doing right now. I can't even slightly comprehend how she is able to maintain a B. I'm getting soooo frustrated.
"Bella! You're not even paying attention to what I'm saying," I nearly yell at her, my patience running short. This is the third time I've caught her just staring at me but not paying attention to one word coming out of my mouth. Does she want me to just do the homework for her? It would be a lot faster. The only good aspect to this is that I get to sit exceptionally close to her. Since we were both sitting cross-legged, out knees were touching and our arms brushing against each other.. I know it's not much, but let's just say I bet I could solve the problems eight times faster if I was sitting across the room. It's not my fault, don't judge.
"Sorry! I give up, whatever, I'll just put down some random answers so I have something written."
I rolled my eyes at her. "It's not even that hard! You already have some it done. Now just set the derivitave to zero with dV over dx equals 12x squared minus.." I faded out and sighed as soon as her eyes took on a faraway gaze.
"Bella!"
"What!?"
"Stop zoning out!"
"I can't help it! Who needs this anyway? I will never be sitting there wondering 'hmm, I wonder what the largest volume box I can make is by cutting the corners of a piece of cardboard and folding them into a cube.'"
"It's school, most of it is useless. But by the end of the year, I'll have you be an expert of pre-calc, you'll be begging to take Calc."
"Yea, I'm sure. I totally believe that."
"You should. I'm-" I was interrupted with her Dad opening the door and poking his head in.
"Bells, just wanted to let you know it's a little past nine thirty."
"Thanks Dad."
"No problem pumpkin." I waited for him to leave, but he didn't.
"Bye Dad," Bella stated. He didn't reply but just shut the door and left.
"I guess that's my cue." I gathered my things. This night was not as eventful as I wanted it to be. I was supposed to be dazzling her, not stuttering to form a coherent sentence. She's going to think I'm an imbecile.
Before I walked out of the front door I had an idea. I ran back up the stairs to her room, "Though I do like eating in general, I like your cooking, that's what I meant. You're really good at it." She blushed and smiled at me. "Thanks."
A/N: So this chapter wasn't that exciting, but I had to show how much Edward is struggling. Before you ask, yes Edward was just completely daydreaming in lunch. I haven't actually taken pre-calc yet, soooo yeah just so you know. Review please please please with the biggest cherry on top! Not a cherry fan? Then pineapple or strawberry or whatever you like. Reviews=a happy me=quicker updates! By the way, you guys should totally check out Scarlet by archer24, I love the action in it. Her other crime story is amazing too. Please review! Even a smiley or a wink or an exclammation point.