Strength

By: Aviantei

Chapter Nine: Strength

Toothiana might have been leading the charge through the woods, but Sanderson Mansnoozie was almost about to overtake her. Pitch's direction had been accurate—now that he knew where to look, Sandy could feel the shuddering sensation of concentrated Nightmare Sand in clarity—but Tooth didn't possess the same senses, and there was a chance she might go astray. Tooth must've realized it, and she let Sandy pass by, the Sandman trailing a glittering thread of Dreamsand for the others to follow.

Other sources of fear flared in Sandy's peripheral. He ignored the other rampant Fearlings and stayed focused on the real target. Antithesis to his own Dreams as they were, Madeline was the goal. The same as the others, Sandy had felt the tear in her center, and his specialty meant he could tell part of the cause had been from a bad dream. Putting Pitch's role in the situation aside, the last thing the woman needed was to be trapped in the presence of a Nightmare.

Even though Madeline believed in him—in all the Guardians, it seemed—Sandy hadn't been able to do anything to help her. For so long, children had been their priority, but was that short period of human's lifetimes all there was to childhood?

The faint spark that was Madeline's Dreams flickered, and Sandy increased his speed until he was almost on top of the Nightmare Sand cluster.

It was worse than he had expected.

The woods hadn't thinned in the slightest, but the trees were all buried in a swirling mass of dark sand. The whole mass smelled like it had been drenched in dirty lake water, and the sheer animosity that radiated off it would've made most people tremble, but Sandy had centuries of experience to strengthen his courage. He did stop, however, not wanting to come into immediate contact, and squinted through what little gaps in the sphere that he could. It was hard to see with nothing but shadows inside, but Sandy managed to catch a faint outline that felt like Madeline. There was a flash of movement, then the shape of a Nightmare took form and let out a shrieking squeal. Nightmare Sand surged away from the main body, and Sandy summoned his own Dreamsand whip, busting apart the projectiles before they could even get close.

"Sandy!"

Underbrush crackled, and trees creaked as the others charged forward, then came to a halt. The Nightmare snorted, agitated by the presence of so many Guardians, but retreated into its Nightmare Sand cloud when they didn't make any further moves. "That doesn't look good at all," Tooth said, and Sandy flashed images at them, conveying that Madeline was inside. Tooth set herself in determination. "We can't let her stay in there, then!"

"Can we safely burst cloud open?" North asked, inching closer. He extended one of his still drawn swords but didn't touch it. Sandy didn't dare move closer, afraid of causing a negative reaction upon contact with a substance that was his opposite. "Is one thing to go all out, but with Madeline inside…"

Bunnymund sniffed at the air, his expression contorting. "We don't wanna mess with that thing, that's fer sure," he said. "For all we know, Pitch was setting us up, and this bloody thing's a giant trap."

"We can't just leave her here, though," Jack said. He gestured with his staff, snow white hair still shimmering, despite the growing shadows. A bright beacon in the darkness, perfect and becoming of the Guardian he deserved to be. "I don't think this is a trap, but, even if it is, that doesn't matter! I promised to help her, so we're not leaving without her."

"I didn't say we were gonna abandon her." Bunny twitched his whiskers, looking at the Nightmare cloud with a distant expression. "Bonkers Sheila hasn't given up Hope, even in all that. There's no way I'd turn my back on that."

North crept up on the swirling Nightmare Sand with a level of grace the average bystander may not have expected the man capable of. He, too, kept his distance, but a frown formed in his beard and a crease appeared between his eyebrows. "It powerful. Almost as much as Easter," he said, confirming what Sandy had already felt himself but not wanted to believe. "This dangerous. Won't be easy to get past."

Sandy added more shapes to the air, conveying that he agreed. Such a fear would have easily overtaken a child. Even if Madeline was an adult, with her vulnerable state it was incredible that she hadn't broken completely.

But how long will that hold up?

"What can we do?' Tooth asked, slicking back the feathers along her arms. It had been some time since Sandy had seen her so nervous. "If Madeline's trapped in there, she needs to get out. But it's everything I can do to just sense her. I don't think there's a way to save her without being close to her." The sand continued to swirl, a flash of the Nightmare's eyes deep in the darkness indicating that it hadn't forgotten the Guardians were there. It was just as calculating as the man who had spawned it.

Bunny glowered at the sand, but he didn't dare make any reckless moves. Beside him, Jack was clutching his staff, a worried look distorting his usual cheerful expression. Though adults didn't fall in the Guardians' range of expertise, it seemed they were all united in trying to find a way to help Madeline.

"What I wanna know is how that thing's so bloody powerful," Bunny said, his nose twitching. "I know that bugger Pitch got some of his power back 'cause Sheila here still believes in him, but this is out of control."

Almost stronger than Easter, Sandy signed. After his time trapped in the depths of the Nightmares, he could confirm that with certainty.

North's frown only deepened. "How did Nightmare get so much power?"

"Well," said an all-too familiar voice from the shadows behind them, "this one's a special case, if I must say so." As one, the Guardians all moved. Sandy rematerialized his Dreamsand whips, North's sword scraped as he pulled it from the scabbard, Toothiana's wings kicked up a small breeze as they sped up, Bunny's ears had perked upwards, and Jack had raised his staff. Despite the less than warm welcome, Pitch didn't seem the slightest bit concerned, his dark form gliding across the forest floor. "Do calm yourselves. I'm not here to fight you."

"Yeah, and I'll believe that when there ain't a giant cloud of yer Nightmare sand holding someone hostage," Bunny said, not relaxing his stance in the slightest. He jerked his head back at said sand without once taking his eyes off Pitch. "This mess has Boogeyman written all over it, mate. I'd like to hear ya explain yourself out of this one."

Pitch said. No matter how many times they faced off, Sandy would never get over how the Boogeyman could manage to sound bored, no matter the situation. "If I did this, I certainly would've hidden it somewhere you lot wouldn't come across it so easily." Bunny snorted, and, beside Sandy, North remained tense. "We've already discussed this, so I won't bother to argue for my innocence. I should know better when dealing with the Guardians."

"There still chance that this is trap, no?" North asked. The sifting of the swirling sands provided the only noise in the woods, any nocturnal wildlife scared off by the Nightmare's presence. "You act uninvolved, but you can still use that Nightmare's power against us."

"Hm, while that would be nice, that's not quite the case." Sandy blinked at the admission, and Jack started to lower his staff. Even Bunny's mouth seemed stunned shut, though it would have made much more sense if the words were lies. Pitch approached the Nightmare Sand, keeping a wide birth from the Guardians. "This Nightmare has been a troublesome one. It seems to think it can keep all that fear to itself."

"What's happening to Madeline?" Tooth asked, the question bursting out of her lips. It seemed that concern had overridden her initial instinct. Sandy felt much the same, but he didn't dispel his weapons. Pitch was there, right within the reach of his whips, and keeping them summoned was the only way Sandy could assure the Boogeyman wouldn't make any sudden moves. "Why did that Fearling go after her."

Pitch had stopped a foot away from the sand cloud. He wasn't even bothering to look at the Guardians, but they all knew better than to launch into battle when the Nightmare King had such a ready source of fear near him. "I suppose in some ways, you could say I caused this."

"Shocker," Bunny said under his breath.

"As you mentioned before, my influence left several scars," Pitch continued, not even bothering to acknowledge the interruption. "That on its own was enough to give me a power boost, and the Nightmares with it. This one seems to have wanted to push that further." He turned to face the Guardians, his eyes so close to the gold of the Dreamsand, but so far away. "It took what I did and set that fear even further. It's getting strength from both my bolstered power and by tapping into that woman's fear directly."

The Guardians exchanged looks. Though they used words more than Sandy did, he could still see the signs of conflict on their shadowy expressions. If what Pitch was saying was the truth, then they had a clue for how to counter what was happened—assuming it was the truth. If not, they'd be stuck in the same problem, not to mention wasting their time on trying to find a solution to a ruse.

"I will say that I'm impressed by what it's done, though," Pitch said, his voice a bit too loud to be just musing to himself. He lifted an arm, and Sandy prepared himself, but all Pitch did was brush his fingers against the sand. The Fearling inside didn't so much as stir. "I doubt that even you Guardians would be able to make it past this without taking on some damages."

"Alright," Bunny said, stomping forward, "I've had enough of yer—"

Sandy held up a hand, shaking his head. He didn't want to admit it, but Pitch was right. Sandy didn't think he could break through the barrier, not without pulling away the power from his Dreamsand around the world. And while protecting one person was just as important as children around the globe, there were still uncertainties. Would Madeline even react to the Guardians the same way? Belief or no, she still held some sensibilities of adulthood. There was no predicting how likely their success would be.

"Well, if the Guardians can't do it, how about you?" It didn't surprise Sandy in the slightest that Jack was the one who'd said it. The boy stepped forward, not even bothering to hold his staff in a defensive form any more, and the wood dragged against the ground. "I can get that the Nightmare would want to keep us out, but you're a different story, right?"

Pitch met Jack's earnest expression with an even, calculating look. "How about it, Pitch?" North asked. Bunny didn't look satisfied by the question, but he seemed to understand the situation they were in enough not to protest. "Surely title of Nightmare King not just for show?"

"You're not incorrect, boy," Pitch said, still looking at Jack. Pitch lowered his hand, obsidian grains of sand coming away with his fingers. "While this Nightmare certainly is putting up an effort to keep others out, it's only enough to repel others of its kind. With a little effort, I could work my way in easily."

"Then do it," Tooth said, hovering next to Jack's side. "I don't want to admit this any more than the others do, but you're Madeline's best shot." Just saying it was enough to make even Sandy grimace. But it was true. "Like Jack said before, she won't do you much good if you let that Nightmare keep her out here. She could die in this cold, so please—"

Tooth seemed to catch herself, biting her tongue. Guilt washed over her face, the same regret of needing to ask the Nightmare King for help that seemed to be crossing the rest of the Guardians' minds. But what other choice did they have? Sandy didn't thing she was wrong, but he didn't think he could have suggested the idea himself.

Jack sucked in a deep breath. "Pitch—"

"Goodness, having two of the Guardians ask me for a favor. What an unusual state of affairs." Despite his choice of words, Pitch's tone didn't sound as scathing as it had in the past. "Save me your pathetic requests. I came here because I realized you wouldn't be able to handle this situation." He waved his had through the air in a dismissive gesture and turned to face the Nightmare Sand again. "Move on, I'll handle this."

Bunny bristled. "Now if ya think we're just going ta—"

Before he could complete the sentence, the sand surged, a great shadow in the trees. Sandy threw up a Dreamsand barrier, North raised his arms over his face with swords still in hand, and Jack stabbed his staff into the ground, his free hand grabbing onto Toothiana for support.

Then the great gust of wind faded, and Bunny spat dirt from his mouth as Sandy lowered his shield. Pitch was no longer there, the Boogeyman disappeared to the darkness. "Will this be okay?" North asked, still looking too stunned to put his blades away.

"It'll be fine," Jack said, sounding far more confident than the rest of the Guardians could muster. "Madeline believes in Pitch. He won't lose her so easily."

Sandy just hoped Jack was right.

Madeline gasped for air, trying to calm herself after the latest slew of nightmares. Her dreams had gone beyond the one she'd had at Pitch's prompting, escalating to even worse images. Unlike the dark forms of the Nightmares, the children in her dreams were real and alive. She had to watch them as they fell, as she couldn't save them—

That wasn't all. She had to watch herself fall, unending, relentless. She had to feel the unbearable pain, sharp as the day she'd first shattered her leg, except she didn't black out. When she looked at her leg, it was still in one piece, but for how much longer? For the moment she lied on the ground, cold against her back, and sunk into the shadows around her, but it would break again, soon enough, the same things on an endless loop until she lost her mind.

With her heart already torn open once before, it was simple for the terror to work its way back in. Even breathing didn't do her any good. She could hardly think, let alone pull her state of mind back together. Everything was overwhelming, why couldn't the world just stop—

"This is your fault, you know."

Madeline jumped at the familiar voice, trying to force down the automatic flight instinct that blossomed inside her. The landscape around her had melted into a faint gray, like the sky before the dead of night. The shadow of Pitch loomed over her, his already lanky height seeming all the more impressive thanks to the perspective. Madeline couldn't quite stifle her scream.

"Good," Pitch said, dragging the syllable out. In the darkness, the luster of his eyes shimmered ever brighter—and that made it hurt even more that he didn't seem to care the state Madeline was in, though he could no doubt sense it. "That's the reaction you ought to have. When you fear me, everything is as it should be."

"Why?!" She couldn't care that she sounded like a crying little girl. That was how Madeline felt, as if the terror had stripped away the years of adulthood and reverted her back to a child. "Why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep making it worse when you don't need to?!" Her breaths sounded broken, great, gasping things that resounded like shattered glass.

Pitch cocked his head at her, but the show of curiosity didn't reach his face. "I've told you enough, you foolish woman. When you're afraid of me, it gives me power. It makes me stronger. What else could I need?"

She grasped at the shadowy ground, only feeling the sensation of sand between her fingers, the same as the Nightmares. She started to scoot backwards without even thinking about it, a part of her desperate to get away. "That's not—"

"Spare me your niceties," Pitch said, but his voice came from behind her. Madeline collided with another body, the rough fabric of Pitch's cloak against his long legs. Except he was still in front of her, watching with malicious amusement in his expression. Madeline looked up, her second scream stuck in her throat as she realized there were two of him. "You can continue your foolish trust of me all you like. But look at where it got you." The second Pitch swept his arm, indicating the darkness around him. "Trapped, afraid, and broken. If you keep this up, it'll only end up worse for you."

"Wouldn't it be much nicer to stop setting yourself up for heartbreak?" the first Pitch said, slithering closer. The second Pitch's hands dropped onto Madeline's shoulders—not anything forceful that would prevent her from breaking away, but the cold touch paralyzed her nonetheless. The first Pitch held out his hand, offering dark salvation. "Just give into the fear, Madeline. Accept it. When you let it pull you under, you'll understand."

Madeline shook her head, sending her loose hair flying. "That's not right," she managed to say, her voice little more than a whisper. "Fear isn't meant to consume you."

"So then you just trust fear and let it do whatever it wants?" The second Pitch's voice was close to her ear, and Madeline swallowed, too overwhelmed to give a retort. "Oh, you can trust me all you want. But I'll break that optimism of yours as many times as I must. Is that what you want?"

"Or," the first Pitch said, at last leaning down before her, "will you cooperate with me and keep some semblance of your sanity intact? If you think what I did before was the full extent of my abilities, you're sorely mistaken. I can pull terror up from the deepest depths of your soul."

"I can plunge you into the pits of despair."

"I can take everything from you, and I will if that's what's necessary to assure my strength—"

"That's not what being strong is at all!"

Her shout seemed to stun them both into silence, if only for the moment. She still felt weak, still felt terrified, but something inside her center seemed to still be in one piece. It had bent, but it hadn't broken. Before either Pitch could pose a rejoinder, Madeline clenched her hands into fists and forced herself to continue.

"You keep talking about wanting your power back, but that's not what being strong is!" The thoughts that she'd hesitated to voice before rolled off her tongue. "Strength is when you have faith and overcome the challenges in front of you. Strength is when you pick yourself back up even after everything seems hopeless. Strength is wanting to better yourself and not letting adversity stand in your way. And fear—"

One of the Pitches barked out a harsh laugh—or perhaps it was them both—at the sheer audacity of a human explaining fear to the Boogeyman, but Madeline didn't let that stop her.

"Fear is a way to keep ourselves safe. It's a way to know when we've encountered something that we may not be ready for. It's to help people, Pitch, not this—this—whatever you've been doing. Terrorizing people? Tearing my soul apart? Is that what you really want?!"

Pitch's hands tightened on her shoulders, and his voice emerged in a dangerous growl, "Don't lecture me about what I want. You wouldn't understand—"

Despite feeling like the Nightmare Sand wanted to suck her under its surface, Madeline jumped to her feet. Her body felt light, as if she'd freed herself from something dark inside of her. She just needed to do the same for Pitch. "I understand enough to know that you're lonely. That you feel scared, too." Both Nightmare Kings stared at her, baffled, not so different from the uncertain children who didn't know if they could ride a horse. Madeline smiled. "I know that you don't want to lose or appear weak. I know that you don't want anyone to forget you."

The shadows around them seemed lighter, as if they were trying to escape from her optimism. It made it easier to see the conflict in both Pitch's eyes, flickering in that beautiful gold she loved. "I'm here," she said, serenity spreading throughout her body. "I remember you, Pitch. I believe in you, even if it seems silly. You don't have to worry about me going away. I'll admit I'm somewhat scared of you, but you're worth more to me than that."

Madeline knelt between them, taking one of each Pitch's hands between her own. Her warm skin met his cold, but she accepted them both. Fear and trust could coexist—she had decided that much. I won't let you go, she promised, hoping that some of that managed to reach Pitch's heart, where something had torn at his soul, too.

She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, the two Pitches were gone, and one sat in their place. The world around them had lightened further, looking almost like the faint purple-gray haze of a sky at twilight. "You're unbelievable," Pitch said, all the bite gone from his voice. In fact, Madeline heard something almost like gentle laughter in his words. "I came in here to pull you away from this nonsense, but you did it yourself."

"That's because I trusted you." Madeline squeezed Pitch's hands, enjoying the feel of his long fingers between hers. "I know you think I'm foolish, but I was paying attention when we talked. I could tell." She didn't need to say what. She could tell by his face that Pitch understood.

"You're not planning on going back on those words, are you?" She hated the way he asked it—with hurt, with suspicion. "If I rely on you to believe in me, I expect you to hold to your words. I make no promises for my behavior if you decide to finally grow up and start thinking like an adult."

Madeline laughed, joy somehow surging up from the wreckage of her emotions. "I'm not as clever as you, Pitch. I wouldn't think of something so complicated." Not wanting to break the comfortable balance they'd made, Madeline didn't move other than to look Pitch in the eyes. "I meant it. I'll always believe in you. You're welcome in my home any time." And, maybe, she wished, she'd be able to show him what he meant to her when he visited. "So don't be…a stranger…"

Just as the happiness emerged inside of her, so did exhaustion. She'd long lost track of what was the waking world and what had been pieces of a dream, but the mental toll was undeniable nonetheless. She thought she saw Pitch smile, but her eyes were drooping shut, refusing to stay open. Even so, she caught the sound of his voice, at last soothing.

"Rest well, Madeline."

If nothing else, she caught the near affectionate way he said her name. It was enough to put a grin on her face, even as she fell asleep.

As the dark of night started to grow into daybreak, Pitch cradled Madeline in his arms as he carried her home.

[Author's Note]

(takes a deep breath and just starts screaming) There, it's here. The last main chapter. I finally reached this point after almost five years. Considering I had this scene in mind the whole time it's probably unacceptable of how long it took me to write it, but whatever!

Thousands of thank yous to Black Moons Daughter for always dropping off regular reviews! I could never get sick of them. It's been great hearing your thoughts as the story progressed!

So, anyway, yes, I have lots of feelings about this chapter. "Use Sandy's POV for the opening sequence," I said. "It'll be easy since he's quiet," I said. I like to think it worked but it was tricky to find the right balance of everything. Do let me know how that worked out.

Okay, but the actual big thing: the ending in Madeline's nightmare. I always wanted this story to be about Pitch having someone that understands that there's a lot more to fear than something big and awful. It wasn't that Madeline wouldn't ever fear him, just that she could trust him regardless. She was supposed to view those two parts as one, which is something I was worried about pulling off correctly. In the end, though, I actually really liked how the sequence came out, so I hope you guys do as well.

On notes of things I wasn't sure how they would work out, I've honestly been questioning how much of this ship is an actual ship considering the direction of the story. But in the end I realized that the feelings these two have are there, just in a much more subtle way. Not all relationships need to have a blatant "I love you" involved. Again, hopefully that came across in this scene (I feel like it did).

Well, all that's left of this story is the epilogue, which will upload next Saturday! Do stick around as we finish things off! Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[09.03.2018]