A/N: Dean learns that not Alphas are the same. Fair warning - intimate scenes? Not my strong point.
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction using characters from the Supernatural universe. I do not claim any ownership. This work is solely for entertainment purposes and is not considered film or tv canon (not by a long shot).
Dean wakes up with a jerk. He remembers where he is and goes very still. He remembers falling asleep on the floor but now he's in the bed with the comforter pulled over him. The room is lit by a small lamp sitting on a table he definitely doesn't remember. Dean hears a faint snore and he freezes again. He doesn't have to look to know that it's Castiel. His Alpha scent is hard to ignore. Dean sits up and takes in the room.
Castiel is curled on his side in the corner of the room farthest from the bed. He's taken one of the pillows and has it bunched up under his head. Dean shivers but not from cold. He clenches his eyes shut and opens them quickly.
Nope. Not dreaming. Dean thinks.
On the table sit several bottles of water and a few energy bars. Beside the table is a chair holding Dean's clothes, folded neatly. The pair of flip-flops Dean wears because he still can't stand shoes sit on top of the pile. Dean shakes his head – he must have really been wiped if he missed all this. Dean startles at something and checks under the covers.
"Son of a bitch … " Dean curses softly. He's wearing boxers now so somebody dressed him while he was out. Dean suddenly notices that Castiel has changed clothes as well. Where he'd been wearing a suit and tie previously, now he's in a tshirt and jeans. No shoes. Dean tenses at that.
Smart Alpha ... easier to get the jeans off if you don't have to mess with shoes. Betcha you're commando under them too. Dean thinks wryly.
That thought makes his stomach roll queasily – he's been through this enough times in false heat. Alphas wearing robes so it doesn't take so long to reach him when he starts begging. Dean bites his lip and fights back tears. He refuses to give in again. Wiping angrily at his eyes, Dean reaches over and grabs a water and a bar. He doesn't care how much noise he makes as he tears open the bar. Castiel's breathing changes and Dean knows he's awake.
Dean scoots back on the bed until he reaches the wall. He sits cross-legged with the comforter pulled over his lap and drinks his water while watching Castiel.
Castiel sits up, stretching until his back pops. He knows Dean is watching him. He can scent the Omega's fear building again and he winces. He never knew how much it hurt to have a Mate reject. Castiel understands Balthazar so much better now ... when his mate left, Castiel's Omega brother was inconsolable. They had to watch him constantly to keep him from doing anything foolish. At the time, he'd said over and over again how much it hurt. Now Castiel knows it wasn't merely vague emotions ... Castiel physically aches with the desire to bond with Dean. Dean's denial of that bonding has to be one of the worst things he's ever endured - he thinks losing a limb would be simpler. Castiel wonders if he'll ever convince Dean of his sincerity. The imperative is just a coiling burn low in his spine but he knows that it will flare again and if they haven't made any headway, things could get ugly fast.
Castiel stands and stretches again, moving slowly because his body feels like he's run a triathalon. Castiel is grateful that the pain at least keeps him from doing anything too quickly and startling Dean. Castiel steps over to the table and gets a bottle of water for himself. As he draws close to the bed, he meets Dean's eyes and sees the fear there again. He winces and turns away. Leaning against the wall, Castiel slides down it to the floor, completely dejected. Dean frowns as he watches the Alpha deflate and hunker down, pulling in on himself. Castiel isn't acting like every other Alpha Dean's ever had take him and it's confusing the hell out of him.
"You ok, man?" Dean asks.
Castiel gives a chuckle. "Considering that my true Mate is terrified at the thought of me actually touching him, much less bonding with him ... no I can assuredly say I am not ok."
"Yeah, well ... my track record with Alphas ain't the greatest, sue me." Dean replies with a shrug.
"I won't hurt you, Dean," Castiel says, ever so tired of repeating himself.
Dean tosses the crumpled candy wrapper on the table and finishes off his water. He's letting his anger build again so he can ignore the growing heat in his body.
"Yeah, heard that before – you know, right before the son of a bitch that popped my cherry bent me over the hood of his car." Dean takes dark pleasure in Castiel's grimace. "He gave me a hundred dollar bill, though, so there is that. I got Sammy a great Christmas gift that year."
"Damnit, Dean …" Sam says, staring at the screen.
"Always takin' care of you, isn't he?" Gabriel comments.
"You have no idea," Sam mutters. "Stupid jerk … he thought I didn't know. Like I couldn't smell every Alpha he'd been with during a night."
"Not like he had much choice, Sam," Balthazar says. He's taken Lucifer's post for now, while his older brother rests. "We've all read the file … your father dies when Dean's fifteen and you're eleven; Dean drops out of school and starts odd-jobbing to make ends meet … few enough places that pay anything that will hire an Omega – fewer still for one without at least a high school degree."
"Yeah, I know, Balthazar – I was there, remember?" Sam snaps.
"You know, but do you really understand, Sam? Do you know what would have happened if child services had figured out Dean was an Omega and primary caregiver to an Alpha?" Balthazar asks.
"Of course I know – Dean told me enough times. We would have been separated and put into the foster system." Sam replies. "I had to keep my nose clean so no one paid attention to us."
"It's a little more involved than that, moose," Gabriel says. "Apparently Dean didn't tell you that if you two had been caught, yeah, you would have gone to Alpha foster parents. Dean ... well Dean would have been mated off to a willing Alpha."
"Wait ... what? Mated off? Dean never said anything about that," Sam says, confused.
"Like I said, he's always lookin' out for you," Gabriel says. "Dean probably spent the seven years until you turned 18 in a state of carefully controlled fear. He couldn't afford to drop his guard for even a minute."
Sam runs his hand over his face. "Well … my childhood just took a left turn. Kinda explains a few things, though. Can they really just force an Omega to mate like that?"
"Underage without family? Hell yeah," Gabriel snorts. "Dean was clear when he turned 18 but he still could have lost you to the system."
"Submit or be forced to submit, Samuel," Balthazar reminds Sam of what he told them the night before.
Sam looks silently at his brother fighting against his true Mate because he's never had a reason to believe an Alpha could treat him as more than a wet hole to fuck. Sam remembers the times when he got in trouble at school and Dean would practically bring the roof down on him yelling about how he needed to be careful ... needed to toe the line ... needed for once in his life to do what Dean says. Sam swallows a sudden lump in his throat as he realizes his brother ... his tough-as-nails older brother ... had been terrified not only for Sam but also for himself. Sam can't imagine ever being forced to do anything ... but then, he's an Alpha. No one forces an Alpha.
It makes what Crowley did to his brother all the worse. Sam's jaw tightens as he promises himself that he will not rest until Crowley is lying dead before him with his throat torn out. Sam will gladly do the honors.
"Dean ... I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry they hurt you," Castiel says softly.
"Yeah ... everyone's sorry for something." Dean says wearily. "So ... you gonna get this over with so we can get the hell out of here?"
Castiel looks up with a stricken expression. Dean feels a twinge for putting that pained look on Castiel's face. It's a very un-Omega thing to do – arguing with your Alpha. Dean is really tired of his body telling him how things should go.
"I won't hurt you, Dean," Castiel repeats.
"Yeah you will ... you'll either do it now or later when I piss you off so bad you go into rut. You'll be too busy pounding my ass into the mattress or floor or wall or whatever other surface you wanna take me on." Dean says.
"Why are you trying to make me lose control, Dean?" Castiel asks helplessly. "This is difficult enough as it is ..."
Dean snorts. "Difficult? Difficult? This ain't difficult, Castiel ... it's real simple. I'm the Omega and you're the Alpha. You fuck me and that's all there is ... we move on. You figure out how to get this damn implant outta my head and I'm in the wind and you never have to see me again."
Castiel stands abruptly. "No! Dean, you can't – I couldn't ..." Words fail him because he can't understand why Dean is even verbalizing such a horrible circumstance as mating and then never seeing one another again.
Dean's eyes narrow – he's struck a nerve. He's been hard for the past 10 minutes. Slick for longer than that. Dean knows that Castiel can scent him – he just doesn't understand why he hasn't pounced on Dean and taken him. He decides to flip the final switch to get this thing started so it can be over. He doesn't know if Castiel will let him leave once they've mated but Dean will deal with that when the time comes. He can disappear so far not even all the Novaks together will be able to find him.
Since Castiel is inevitably prove himself like every other Alpha that's taken Dean, he convinces himself that what he's about to do doesn't really matter. He throws back the blanket and spreads his knees apart, exposing his very hard cock outlined in the soaked boxers he's wearing. Castiel makes a choked off sound and an abortive stumble towards Dean. Dean braces for the pounce when Castiel suddenly turns and slams his fist into the wall behind him. He crumples to the ground with a grunt of pain. Dean winces – he knows he heard bone break.
"What the fuck ... are you nuts?" Dean says, incredulous. He gets up and grabs his tshirt from the pile on the table. Trying to ignore his body's response to the close proximity of Castiel, he lifts the broken hand gently, pillowing it on his scrunched shirt. "Man, you busted it up pretty bad ... what the hell, Cas?"
"I told you," Castiel says between gasps. "I will not hurt you."
Dean looks at Castiel ... their faces are only inches apart and neither of them can think over what their bodies are telling them. Castiel ignores his broken hand – he's in the mating imperative's grasp and Alpha bodies heal very quickly during that time. Something to do with having to fight off other Alphas for their Omega in years past ... Castiel doesn't care. He leans in and brushes his lips against Dean's.
Dean immediately regrets getting this close to Castiel. His plan has backfired and he can feel nothing but heat and need. He's letting Castiel plunder his mouth and it feels better than any kiss has a right to. Castiel is suddenly pressing his weight against Dean, pushing him down. Dean resists with a whimper and the pressure immediately eases.
Dean opens his eyes to see Castiel standing with his fists clenched so tight, Dean can see blood dripping from the nails cutting into Castiel's palms. His stomach twists when he realizes one of those tightly clenched fists is the broken hand. Dean can't imagine how much that must hurt.
"Cas?"
"Dean," Castiel says softly, his voice rough and shaking. "I won't play your game. Please don't make me ... please don't push me into hurting you. I ... this means too much to me even if it means nothing to you."
Dean stares at this man who saved him from an unimaginable hell and somehow turned out to be so much more than a savior ... he is Dean's true Mate. True Mate – Dean doesn't even know what the hell that means beyond him being shackled to an Alpha for the rest of his days. Castiel's scent is burning its way through Dean's hindbrain making it harder and harder for him to defy the imperative. Castiel looks at him and the misery in his eyes triggers Dean's Omega side – he suddenly doesn't want Castiel to hurt any longer.
Dean flips off the security camera he knows has to be there. Hopefully they'll get the hint and shut off the camera because things are about to get X-rated.
"Castiel," Dean says.
Castiel holds Dean's gaze and then Dean is backing toward the bed. Castiel follows. Dean swallows hard and turns off the desk light before getting on all fours. Castiel turns the light back on even though a look of dismay appears on Dean's face. He takes in Dean's position before shaking his head.
Dean can't stop the whimper that escapes his lips. As much as he hates it, his biology is bringing all his Omega instincts into play for Castiel, his Alpha. It would be bad enough if that was all there was but Dean feels the conditioning he received at Crowley's kicking in … the conditioning that came with pain. Lots of pain for disobedience.
Right now, his instincts are telling him his Alpha is displeased. Crowley's conditioning is telling him he's about to be punished. Dean starts to shake as he kneels on the bed.
"P-please … Alpha … I'm sorry … I'll do whatever you want … please don't hurt me …" Dean begs, tears starting in his eyes. He groans, trying to stop the cry but he can't. Crowley conditioned the tears into Dean's seduction training – some Alphas like their Omegas to weep and beg not to be hurt. Dean doesn't know if it's the conditioning or true fear of punishment but he's terrified either way.
"Dean … stop," Castiel orders as he pulls Dean upright before him. He's seeing all the damage Dean's been hiding and fighting. . Dean keeps his eyes down. He's losing himself in the need to do whatever Castiel wants. Castiel feels Dean shivering like he's cold. He gently takes Dean's shoulders and pulls him forward for a kiss. Dean responds immediately, granting Castiel access to his mouth. The shivering stops. Castiel pulls back and gently tips Dean's chin up.
"Dean, look at me."
Dean shakes his head. "Not s'posed to ... never look an Alpha in the eye."
"Dean ... who is your Alpha?" Castiel hates doing this but he has to get through to Dean somehow.
"You are."
Castiel gently kisses Dean. "Then look at me."
Dean raises eyes that are dark emerald with arousal. Castiel smiles. "Your eyes are beautiful, Dean. Just like the rest of you."
Dean blushes but a shudder runs through his frame. Castiel knows that's the ingrained pleasure response to receiving praise from an Alpha. Castiel pulls away from Dean to undress quickly. Dean vaguely notes that Castiel was wearing boxers before his Alpha is pulling Dean's boxers down. Dean steps out of them and then Castiel is pushing him back to the bed and climbing in after him.
Castiel kneels over Dean, his hands bracketing the Omega's head. He leans in and kisses Dean for a long time, easing his hips up each time Dean tries to grind their cocks together. Dean's conditioning is telling him he needs to be getting fucked but Castiel won't let him do anything. With a faint whimper, Dean finally whispers, "Don't you want me, Alpha?"
Castiel kisses Dean gently then. "More than you know, Dean. But I'm Cas, not Alpha. You don't ever have to call me Alpha."
"C-Cas ... ok," Dean agrees.
It's a little bit of progress, but Castiel knows Dean will essentially agree to anything he asks of him right now. He leans down and kisses Dean's chest and then works his way down Dean's body. He loves the lines of Dean's body and the definition of muscle that quivers when he finds a ticklish spot on Dean's stomach. He dips his tongue into Dean's navel briefly then licks down the treasure trail to the base of Dean's cock. He can smell Dean's slick and has to concentrate on how to field strip an AR-15 assault rifle to keep himself in control. Dean is whimpering above him. His hands are grasping toward Castiel, trying to pull him back up.
Castiel gently pushes the hands away and laves his tongue gently over the tip of Dean's cock. The Omega arches off the mattress then, his body shaking with the sensation. Castiel smiles and slides a little farther down until he has most of Dean in his mouth. He grips Dean's hips to help keep him from bucking. Castiel hums softly and Dean is coming almost immediately. Castiel swallows the small emission easily ... Omegas aren't made to produce much semen. He moves back up Dean's body to kiss him.
Dean feels like he's losing his mind. He never comes before the Alpha ... it's not the way he learned on the street or in Crowley's stable. Satisfy the Alpha first, always. If the Alpha was willing, Dean got to come. If not, he just dealt with it. He's had an uncomfortable walk home more than once. In Crowley's stable, if the Alpha didn't let him come, Dean had it 'taken care of' afterward, during the clean-up process. Lying on the exam table, his feet in stirrups so he can be inspected and cleaned for the next Alpha, Dean's had the gloved hand of one of the doctors Crowley employs bring him off – quick and joyless. All routine to prep him for the next client.
Castiel kisses Dean's neck at that moment, enjoying the gasp he gets from licking over Dean's Adam's apple. He works his way up to Dean's jaw and then to his ear. He keeps pushing Dean's hands away whenever the Omega tries to touch him, to stroke or brush over him. Dean is fisting the sheets and writhing with the need to touch.
"Cas ... Alpha ...please..."
"Not until I'm done, Dean."
Dean groans and goes limp under Castiel. His Alpha won't let him move or touch ... what the hell does Castiel want?
"You are so ... lovely, Dean," Castiel murmurs as he kisses over Dean's eyelids.
Dean remembers Castiel saying that the night he rescued him. He was under the implant's influence so he'd just accepted the praise. Now he opens his eyes and looks at Castiel who pauses and returns Dean's gaze.
"Wish I wasn't .." Dean whispers. He might not have escaped a typical Omega fate, but Dean wishes he'd been born unattractive ... maybe it would have been easier.
Castiel gently presses his lips against Dean's forehead, his heart aching for his mate. "I know, my Dean. You are lovely ... but I won't say it if you don't want me to."
Dean blinks. "You don't ... you're the ... Cas, you don't ask me what I want. You just -"
"Tell you what to do, Dean? Fuck you until you see stars and ... what did you say ... oh yes, until you're 'fat with my litter'?"
Dean blushes furiously. He murmurs, "Yeah."
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you, my sweet Dean," Castiel chuckles.
Castiel kisses Dean again, deeper and more slowly than before. He loves the way Dean tastes. He loves the way Dean smells. Castiel is learning he loves just about everything about Dean and his body. He wants to kiss every other hurt out of his Omega. He wants to rend and tear the ones that hurt Dean. Castiel wants to give his mate a more just world where he doesn't have to be afraid all the time.
Castiel reaches down and slides his hand between Dean's legs. His fingers dip into Dean's growing slick. Dean arches up again, making Castiel smile. He then takes Dean already hard again cock and begins a slow and easy stroking. Dean's groans and soft gasps act as a guide to Castiel's movements. It's only a few moments before Dean is coming again. Castiel guides him through the aftershocks and then lets the Omega subside while he kisses him.
When Dean can think again after his second orgasm, he stares at Castiel while the Alpha runs his hand over Dean's chest and traces his initials there with fingers damp with slick and cum. Dean is completely adrift now. His Alpha has brought him to climax twice and Dean hasn't even been allowed to really touch him.
"Cas ... what are you tryin' to do to me?" Dean gasps hoarsely. He tries yet again to lift his hands to caress Castiel and is rebuffed gently. Dean can feel his Omega instincts beginning to press on him. It's wrong for his Alpha to be pleasing him, he should be taking care of his Alpha to the exclusion of his own needs. "Alpha ... please ... I need ..."
Castiel raises himself up on his hands. The broken one has already knit itself together again. He looks down indulgently at Dean. "Not Alpha, Dean. Just Cas ... "
Dean whimpers softly before whispering, "Cas ... I call you Cas here ... sorry ... I'm sorry."
Cas bites at Dean's left nipple making the Omega suck in a hard breath. "You never need to apologize, Dean ... I'm not one of the Alphas that used you before. I don't want you to submit to me ... I want you to share my bed because you want to."
"If you're not my Alpha, who are you?" Dean asks softly.
"I'm your true Mate, Dean and I will never hurt you."