Harry Potter And The Great Getaway

Chapter 10: Money Makes the Worlds Go Round

Harry and Hermione strolled into the local branch of "Gringott's." Harry had to admit that the costume and makeup of the "goblin" behind the counter would be pretty convincing to anyone who hadn't actually had dealings with real Goblins. "We have four ATMs in the lobby you just walked through that should be able to handle whatever business you have today."

Harry noted that the legendary hospitality of the theme park business had been apparently set aside for a touch of realism here – the "goblin" was almost as rude and abrupt as the real thing. "Yes, we noticed them, but we need to speak with your Branch Liaison Officer."

The mask slipped a little. "The only other branch we have is in Hollywood, at their Harry Potter park, and neither of us actually does regular banking stuff. This is all just for show. Even the ATMs are from Bank of America."

Hermione stepped forward. "I believe if you were to call extension 247 and inform the party at the other end that some customers have requested to meet with him, we will be given a meeting."

The "goblin" blinked, as if the number triggered some odd bit of his training. "Extension 247 is the number for Special Accounts. Let me give them a call." He then spoke into the phone. "Yes, this is Bowie at the front desk. I have some customers who are asking to speak with our 'Branch Liaison Officer' and gave this extension specifically." He paused. "Right, I'll tell them." He hung up, looking a little wild-eyed. "Someone will be down for you shortly."

"Thank you." Hermione stepped back and waited expectantly, then gestured for Harry to join her.

After a moment, another "goblin" appeared. He glanced at Harry and Hermione, then tossed a questioning glance at the clerk, who nodded in return. He turned back to Harry and Hermione. "Right, come with me." He then spun around and walked quickly to the elevator, obviously expecting them to follow him.

Harry and Hermione hurried to catch up. As the elevator doors closed behind them, Harry spoke up. "Where are we going?"

The "goblin" glared at him. "To Office 247. Save your questions until we get there."

The brief ride continued in silence, then the doors opened. Directly opposite the elevator was a door marked "Special Accounts/Branch Liaison." The "goblin" gestured them through the door, then closed it behind them.

Harry and Hermione found themselves facing another "goblin" seated behind a desk. This one's makeup was far better, but Harry could still see where it was a fake.

He looked more closely. No, this was a real Goblin, but a Goblin who was wearing a little makeup and tiny prosthetics to make him look like a human in a Goblin costume. Again, more than enough to fool anyone who had never met a real Goblin, but certainly convincing enough to the Muggles who apparently made up this entire world.

"I'm Special Accounts and Branch Liaison Officer Kukri. What is your business with Gringott's, Mr. Potter and Ms. Granger?"

Harry was caught off guard. "Actually, the name's Parker, and she's..."

The Goblin waved dismissively. "Your fake identification is more than good enough, but I know where you got it – and where you are really from. So why don't we skip over the obvious fiction? This is the real Gringott's, Branch Number 247, I am a genuine Goblin, sent here from the Home Office to run the bank's business here, and you two are Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, from the same world as the Home Office, with the official stated purpose of..." he glanced at the papers on his desk, then looked up with a sneer. "it says you're here for 'tourism' purposes." He waved dismissively. "Whatever. We don't really care what your real intent is here. What is your business with Gringott's today?"

Hermione took the lead. "We initially planned to stay here for a few days, but Harry is thinking about an extended stay – perhaps indefinitely. We wanted to know how he could access his funds while here."

Kukri sighed. "You two are the first 'tourists' we've had to deal with at this branch, but I am gravely disappointed that the Home Office for not having worked this out. This all should have been spelled out to you before you left." He gestured at the not-overly-comfortable chairs. "When we set you up with your fake IDs, we also provided each of you with debit cards. Those debit cards, issued by Bank of America, the largest bank in this nation, and are backed by accounts set up with funds taken from your home Gringott's accounts. Further, they are also covered by an overdraft protection plan that will automatically draw more funds from your Gringott's accounts should you exhaust the amounts on hand in those accounts. He handed them each a slip of paper. "These are the initial amounts of the deposits, and the current balances on both cards. Should you prefer credit cards, or other financial services, you can negotiate directly with Bank of America, as our own activities in this world are still very limited, especially at the consumer level." He smiled viciously. "The average person on this world is considerably more financially aware than the average wizard or witch, so in response the financial world has developed their own methods of maximizing profits from their depositors. We've considered adapting some of their techniques back home, but wizards and witches are simply too ignorant financially to make it worth our while."

Harry and Hermione nodded. Hermione had spent her share of time dealing with bankers both in wizarding and Muggle Britain, and knew Kukri was right. "So, it appears that you've answered all our questions before we could even ask them. We apologize for wasting your time."

Kukri gave a disturbingly non-malicious grin. "Think nothing of it. As the token Goblin here from the Home Office, I have frighteningly little to do on a day-to-day basis. Spending a few minutes with some people from home – even if they're only humans – is still a nice change of pace."

HP HP HP HP HP

As they left, Hermione reluctantly brought up the unspoken subject. "So... you're thinking of staying?"

Harry paused thoughtfully. "I'm not ruling it out. I just want to have all the facts on hand before I make any choices. From what I can understand about finances in this world, I probably have enough to live the rest of my life without working, if I'm moderately careful and responsible. I'd still want to work, of course, if for no other reason than to get to know people here and blend in a little better, but it's nice to know that staying here is an option."

Hermione sighed. "I have to confess I brought you here partly as a little prank, and partly to give you a little perspective on how others might see you and your life so far. The idea of introducing you to a whole world where no-one could possibly see you as 'the Harry Potter' and couldn't possibly put any pressure or expectations or misconceptions on you struck me as just the sort of thing you might like, or even need. I also thought that there might be a chance you'd like it so much you'd stay, and wanted to give you that opportunity."

Harry smiled. "That's exactly why you're my best friend. You know just how badly I'd miss you and a whole bunch of others, right?"

Hermione wistfully smiled back. "And we'd miss you terribly, too. But if this is what you need to be happy and get away from all the rubbish that the Wizarding World puts on you, every day, what kind of friend would I be to deny you it?"

Harry pulled her into a quick hug. "Like I said, I'm just getting all the information I can right now. I'm not making any decisions right away. Besides, we've got the hotel room through the end of the week, so we might as well stay that long. Maybe we can even watch those movies about me you told me about."

Hermione laughed. "Oh, those things! They got things even worse than the books. The girl they have playing me is a good actress, but in the first movie they made my hair a total nightmare. Then, in the later movies, they made it only a little wavy, almost straight. I felt a bit like Goldilocks, but they never got to the 'just right' stage. And the actor they got to play Snape... he was actually very handsome and commanding and charismatic."

Harry choked. "Snape, handsome and charismatic? You've got to be kidding!"

Hermione shrugged. "You've got to remember that almost all actors have to be good-looking to get anywhere in the business. Finding someone who actually looked like Snape who could also act would have been a real challenge." She paused and giggled. "But when they needed someone to play Gilderoy Lockhart, they found someone who could be an even bigger prat and fop than the real thing."

Harry scoffed. "A bigger prat and fop than Lockhart? That's not possible."

"I didn't think so, either, but then I watched it myself. It's absolutely uncanny."