Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Authors Note: Heyy guys I'm back… did ya miss me?? =P

Okay so this might be the last time I update on a Wednesday, my friend told me I should stick to a schedule, so I was going to update on Saturdays. Tell me if you like this plan, if not, I can change it! I decided to post this chapter early since the last chapter was a bit of a fluke =P

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

Your Guardian Angel – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

~*~

I don't know how long I lay on my bed for. My sheets, damp with sweat, clung to my sticky body while my dried up tears were still caked to my face. I felt no shame up here alone in my room and saw no reason to wipe them away after they fell.

My mind was telling me that I should get up and have a shower to clean myself off, but my body refused to make its demands and stayed perfectly still cocooned in my disgusting sheets. The only positive thing I could think of was at least I didn't wake up to semen covered sheets, that's always a plus.

I lay there starring at my ceiling for a good 40 minutes before I finally gave up and decided to take a shower. While standing stationary underneath the hot spray of my shower I continued to think about what my mother had said to me in my dream. She had told me that I needed to talk to Bella and sort out everything that was going on between us. I could just imagine how confused Bella would be feeling now, after me ignoring her and acting like she had swine flu for a week before kissing her without permission at the end of it all.

I still wasn't sure that it had really happened. That I had let my guard down long enough for my body to lean forward and kiss her, without her permission. How could I have been so stupid? I mean it would be stupid for me to kiss any girl - with or without their permission - but to kiss the police chiefs daughter. I was just asking to be shot!

You don't anger a man with a gun. And I knew that anger was all he would feel for me when his daughter came home telling him that some emotional freak at school made out with her, against her will.

But in the back of my mind a nagging voice kept telling me; she kissed you back.

For some reason this voice made my heart sing, because it was true, she did kiss me back and I liked it.

I could feel the water starting to get cold, which it would considering I had spent almost an hour under the hot water, not taking into account the showers that my foster parents have already had. As of late it seems that I have been using up a majority of the houses hot water supply. I shut of the spray and stepped out onto the tiled floor of my bathroom while wrapping one of Esme's fuzzy towels around my waist.

After drying myself off, I pulled out a pair of grey jeans and a white undershirt and threw them on, not really thinking about a jacket as the weather didn't look too bad outside, and I could even see the sun in different spots. I pulled out a worn pair of converse sneakers, not exactly clothes that are really suitable for waking through the woods in, but I really could care less. I ran down stairs, waving slightly at Esme and Carlisle who were both drinking coffee at the kitchen table.

Stepping outside I took a deep breath of the crisp, fresh air. In some ways it was comforting, because when I was a lot younger my mother used to tell me that fresh air was the cure for everything and that she found the freshest air on top of her favorite cliff that overlooked the sea. I later came to hate that cliff, as it was the last place she was seen before she jumped into the ocean.

I walked briskly into the woods that were in fact surrounding the house, trying to dispel the memories of my younger years. I didn't need that shit now. I was here so that I could think more about what to do about my Bella situation.

It seemed like I had been walking for hours, absorbed in my own thoughts of Bella and what I would say to her on Monday. I decided to go with the generic "it's not you it's me, we can just be friends" approach to our no existent relationship. It wasn't until the sun was high above me that I realized that I had been walking for hours and had no idea of how to get back to the house.

I was furious with myself. How could I be so stupid to take a walk in the freaking woods and not figure out a way to get back home? I could have gone all cave man and scratched the crap out of the trees, to mark a trail that would help me get back to where I started, but I doubt that I would even want to touch the trees at all since they were all covered in green crap. Moss. The awesome squishy shit that sticks to everything, even the bottom of your shoes, which makes a huge mess all of Esme's carpets, which in some ways servers her right for ordering white carpets. I mean, who does that in Forks "the shittiest place on earth"?

I saw a patch of land up ahead that looked relatively clear, almost as if someone had cleared a space of land for their own personal use. I was hoping that somewhere in that empty space that there would be a sign of some sort that would indicate a way back to civilization.

I entered the clearing and marveled at its beauty. The grass was so much greener here than it had been in other places. The ground was also covered in a light smattering of purple flowers, making the colors all blend together perfectly. The scene from the edge of the wood looking into the clearing would have been perfect had it not been for the heavy clouds that were now populating the sky; making everything that much darker. But then again this weather was typical of Forks, the weather may start out perfect but it will no doubt go down the crapper sooner or later. The sun was no completely covered with clouds, which looked as if they were about to burst any second, great!

I scowled at the sky in disgust, for I knew that it would soon rain and I wasn't really in the mood for seeing my own pecks clear through my shirt – as my white shirt would most likely go clear in the event of rain.

In all my scowling at the sky I didn't really notice the fact that I wasn't alone in the clearing. Over in the far corner, near the stream, there was the figure of a girl sitting on a large rock. Her hear was bowed either in concentration or in sadness and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to react to her.

Almost as if she could feel my gaze her head shot up into the air, while she began to turn her body in my direction. Her body was unmistakable, and as soon as she moved her body I knew exactly who was here with me, Bella.

My heart leaped in my chest. What the hell was she doing here? And what are the odds that I would actually run into her here, of all places. I was frozen in shock, and it seemed as though she was too. She had stopped moving completely, her now rigid body was still facing partly in my direction while her facial features were a mixture of shock, confusion and annoyance. She was probably annoyed that I was interrupting her private time, like I hadn't annoyed her enough this week.

I didn't know what to say to her. I guess part of me was hoping that she would take the first step and that she would be the first to say something, but that was unlikely. I have no idea how long we stared at each other, frozen. My breathing had even faltered when I had first seen her and I had not brought any new air into my lungs, but I didn't want to be the first to speak.

My brain was screaming at me to do something, to take a deep breath and take and step towards her; but I didn't know if I could.

After much deliberation in inhaled a deep breath, effectively ending the silence between us and bringing us both out of our silence. She closed her eyes and shook her head gently. And almost, as if by magic, the skies opened and rain bucketed down heavily on both of us, but we just stood there.

I knew that my shirt was completely soaked, as was hers, and I knew that us both getting pneumonia would not be a good start to our still nonexistent relationship, but for some reason we both just stood there letting the rain try and wash away the problems between us.

Slowly she stood up off the rock that she had been sitting on, her feet stumbling slightly as if she were about to fall, and began to move in my direction, probably to confront me again. She walked right up to me so that there was only about 3 feet of space between us and stared deep into my eyes.

"What are you doing here Edward?" She asked softly, I could barely here her over the thunderous rain.

I nervously ran my hand through my rain soaked hair, which probably made me look like a drowned rat to her.

"I, um… I don't know. I just went for a walk near my house and this is just where I ended up I guess. And now I think that I'm lost." I told her nervously, watching her movements very carefully, hoping that she wouldn't lunge at me and nock me to the ground in yet another fit of anger – not that I wouldn't deserve it if she did.

I would have asked her what she was doing here, but I saw a saturated book clutched in her right hand and just assumed that she was probably here to read in peace and quiet and she didn't need me coming here to wreck all that for her. At least this time I could blame the rain for ruining her day, not me.

"You… You know Ayn Rand was a very experimental author for her time. The ideas that she portrays in her books were really controversial at that time and she was shunned for some of the things that she wrote in her books. Look at how The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, they were her most famous works, but by no means were they the only confrontational books that she wrote." I told her nervously, trying to find a reason to talk to her that wasn't about us in any way.

"Yeah, but she wasn't the only author that expressed views and opinions that were influential and controversial at the time that they were first released. I mean, look at James Joyce. He expressed his views and opinions in his most famous book Ulysses and he was shunned too. Not many artists have the courage to stand up for what they believe in. Even in this day and age, people can be excluded from certain things just for their ideas. Things haven't changed as much as we think it has." She said strongly. Obviously I had hit a nerve in my little outburst that touched a little deeper with her.

"Did you read the introduction that Leonard Peikoff wrote in the newest version of Atlas Shrugged? Talk about your idol fantasies. You could really tell that they strongly believe in everything that Ayn had written in her books to begin with."

And that's how it started. Standing out in the pouring rain in the middle of a meadow that was hidden in the middle of a forest, I was talking to the girl that had been stimulating me every night in my dreams. The girl that I had watched in the library every day before she was moved into my biology class where I annoyed the living shit out of her, causing her to yell at me before I kissed her passionately, was now having a civilized conversation with me over objectivism and influential authors who had a large impact on the way people see things.

I'm not sure how long we stood in the rain talking about books, but eventually we found ourselves sitting on the rock that Bella had been residing on earlier. Somehow the subject changed from influential authors, to influential bands and musicians of this day and age.

Bella spoke of the band Rise Against, and proceeded to tell me all about their new album Appeal to Reason in which they express their views on the Government and the war in Iraq. She told me one of her favorite quotes from the album cover; "That whenever any form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it," which was quoted directly from The Declaration of Independence.

This quote was closely followed by her next favorite quote from the album cover, which was by the artist Pablo Picasso. "What do you think an artist is? An imbecile who has only eyes, if he is a painter, or ears if he is a musician or a lyre in every chamber of his heart if he is a poet, or even, if he is a boxer, just his muscles? Far from it: at the same time, he is also a political being, constantly aware of the heartbreaking, passionate, or delightful things that happen in the world, shaping himself completely in their image. How could it be possible to feel no interest in other people, and with a cool indifference to detach yourself from the very life which they bring to you so abundantly? No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war."

She told me more about the songs presented on the album before telling me that her favorite song was "Hero of War" which is a sad song about a man who goes to war knowing that the American flag will guide him through everything in battle, and that he is doing the right thing because that is what he was told. But it soon turns to how soldiers were ripping people from their homes and families and then torturing them in underground cells. The song finally finishes when a woman walks through a battle zone, not stopping when the solder tells her to stop but she just keeps walking so he is forced to shoot her and when he goes to inspect her body he finds that she was carrying a white flag in her hands, about to surrender. The ending lyrics are what hit Bella the hardest, "A hero of war, is that what they see? Just medals and scars, so damn proud of me, and I brought home that flag, now it gathers dust. But it's a flag that I love; it's the only flag I trust."

She also spoke lightly of a band called Slip Knot, but I wasn't sure how strongly she felt about it. Apparently one of her friends back home had forced her to watch their interview videos on YouTube in which they spoke about "The Message" and how they always wear masks on stage, masks that conceal their identities while showing people the darkness that lives inside them. That their masks were there to represent their own troubles and darkness, and they served to show people that everyone has darkness inside them, these guys just showed their darkness clearly. She told me a few of her favorite lyrics like, "I felt the hate rise up in me, kneed down and clear the stone of leaves, I wander out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed…" and I could completely agree with some of the things this band was representing. She told me that even though some of their songs only consisted of screaming the lyrics, that the message was still there and that we should respect that.

Watching her express her views and adoration of these bands so strongly, made me feel deeply for her. Her expressions when she was quoting the lyrics to me, showed how much she loved these bands and the message that they was sending to people. I had never heard someone talk so strongly about bands before. I liked these bands already, and I have never even heard of their work. She was convincing me into feeling as strongly about these bands as she did, and for some reason it seemed that these bands were calling to me.

I laughed to myself at how absurd I was being. I didn't even know this girl, and the first complete conversation we were having was about controversial books and bands. I couldn't help but shake my head slightly to myself, thinking that I was crazy for feeling this way about her.

I don't know how it happened but during the conversation our heads got closer together and I found myself shifting my gaze from her eyes down to her lips and back again. I know that I had vowed to myself that I would not kiss her again, that I would tell her I only wanted to be her friend, if anything at all. But slowly her conversation started to lull and I could see her eyes in turn drift down to my lips. I could feel her breath warm against my face, and it was then that I realized that it had stopped raining. Bella seemed to notice this fact too, and at the same time we both shifted our gazes to the sky in time to see the sun come out from behind the heavy clouds that were now moving away with the wind.

A strong breeze picked up in place of the rain and I saw Bella shiver out of the corner of my eye. She was cold, and I had kept her out in the rain and now cold breeze where we were talking about books and music. How stupid could I have been? Instead of trying to be her friend, I was trying to kill her by making her stay out in the weather. I was furious with myself, going over and over in my head how this was not what I wanted. That I wanted to keep her alive and well, and that weather as cold and shitty as this, was not good for a woman of her small size.

Her gaze was still focused on the diminishing clouds so I cleared my throat softly to gain her attention.

"Listen Bella, I am sorry for my behavior over the last week and for kissing you without your permission on Friday. I know I am being really confusing but I just think that we should try and be friends… If you'd like." I said softly, hoping that she would understand and agree with what I was saying.

She looked up at me and I could see the sadness in her eyes. Was she expecting me to say something else??

"Sure Edward. That sounds… fine. Friends." She said while lightly nodding her head, confirming her statement by sticking out her hand for me to shake.

I smiled nervously at her and took her outstretched hand into my own, feeling the electricity sparking between us. We both jumped at the sensation, which seemed even more powerful this time than it did on Friday.

'Um, so I think it is getting really late and I should get home and cook dinner for my dad. Would you like a lift back to your house, you know, since we are trying to be friends." She said nervously while extracting her hand from mine. I immediately mourned the loss of its warmth and nodded slightly to her, giving her a flash of my lopsided grin.

I stood up and helped her onto her feet, my legs slightly numb from sitting for too long. We walked in silence to her vehicle, which was so old and rusted that I feared it was nearing its end.

I gave her the directions back to my foster parent's house, sitting silently in her car letting the radio make up for the lack of conversation that was flowing between us. The silence wasn't awkward or uncomfortable as most of our silences were; it was relaxing just to be sitting in the cabin of her Chevy while enjoying the warmth of the vehicles heater. For the first time in a long time I finally felt comfortable in another person's presence.

I knew that this wasn't the end. It was going to take time for me to be able to have a proper friendship with Bella and that not everything in my life could be magically fixed overnight. It would take time for me to change and establish this new relationship I was building. But I was sure as hell going to try.

~*~

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Authors Note: So how did we like the reunion? Rise Against is one of my favorite bands and I just really wanted to put them into this story somewhere. I saw them a few weeks ago live and they were amazing, and I nearly got knocked out by some of their other fans =P

If you haven't read The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged and Ulysses I advise that you, but they can be hard to get into if you don't know what you are expecting. They are a far cry from Twilight and all things supernatural, but they are a good read all the same.

The drama is coming soon people, be ready!!

So… thoughts? Feelings? Want a sneak peek of the next chapter? You gotta tell me these things people!!!

Much love,

AnUnbrokenHorse aka RushtonElf

xx