I'm so sorry for the long wait! I think this is the longest I have taken to write a chapter but I got super busy on the weekend and I got sucked in to a fanfiction story "Vow to Protect". It's so goooood though, so I didn't mind at all!
Second note, HOLY PANCAKES BATMAN! I have over 100 reviews and favorites and over 200 followers *girly shrill* Thank you thank you thank you! Honestly, I never thought this would happen so since it's chapter 10, I thought I would add some extra length onto the story and to just show that I love you all so very much!
I hope you enjoy this chapter! and I'm sorry in advance if I get the construction of Bane's mask incorrect and if anyone knows the exact way it's put on then let me know. I just kinda studied what the mask looked like and built my theory off of that . But that's what FanFiction's are for!
Enjoy!
Chapter Ten
"We can sedate you if you want. The initial pressure on your scars will be extremely painful." As I predicted, Bane shook his head. I sighed at his obvious pride and walked over to my desk. I gathered all that I would need to put on his mask, grabbing the components that I had worked on all night and a soothing balm; I would help relieve his pain somehow. I placed all the items I needed on a tray on wheels and rolled it over to where Bane sat.
On his face, I lightly dragged my fingers along the parts that the mask would cover. "It's going to be wrapping around here and because I'm not securing it to your skin, it has to be tight so your vaporizer doesn't shift. You won't be able to take it off for a few months." I felt him stiffen as he processed my words. It wasn't noticeable to my father, but I felt his muscles contract. "That is how long you will have to be in-taking Venom for you to hit your peak strength. If you stop breathing it for a minute, it will throw your cycle off. You were only on this at a lesser dose for two days and you went into withdrawal within five hours. Eventually that will happen within minutes."
I started to put the balm on his skin; he looked at me, almost threatening my actions. He didn't want to look weak in front of Ra's, he didn't think the pain relief was necessary but he wouldn't tell me that outright either. He knew that in this situation, I was his superior and when it came to league matters, like his initiation, he was to treat me so. "It will help with the movement of the mask on your skin for the first time. Think of it as lubricant." I heard my father shift his weight for the first time.
"Very good idea Rayna." I heard his attempt to mend what had been done. The proud tone in his voice for my thorough thoughts, my kind thinking, and my compassion for those I cared for. He knew what his words would make me think, he knew it would remind me that even though I felt betrayed by him, he was right. Bane wouldn't die and this was the only way he would be able to stay with the league. My father had to be Ra's in order to save me from losing Bane. I silently cursed my hot head and made a mental note to try and figure out a way to get myself out of that mind state sooner next time.
Once the ointment was applied to the necessary places on Bane's face, I went to the sink to rinse my hands. Neither of the men in the room made any noise, I could only imagine what they were saying with their eyes to each other behind my back though. Both Bane and my father knew how to command others with their gaze; a skill I could only hope to learn one day but I think it's something that comes with the natural ability to lead.
I knew Bane would become a leader one day, maybe even a master if he stayed with the league long enough. I often thought of a day when he will convince me to leave, I smiled at the hopeless romantic wish. I always fantasized about the silliest of things when I was mentally exhausted. I could barely understand where I was getting the energy to stay awake and moving at this moment. I dried my hands and walked back to my tray, grabbing the back of the mask piece, as it was all one solid material, with the tubes that would hold the Venom already constructed into the piece. It was the securest way I could have made it; I had to make sure it wouldn't be easily ripped out. I slowly attached the top strap that was meant to go over his head to the mouthpiece.
"Father, can you come here please." Thankfully, Ra's understood that since I was the doctor and this was my work space, I would need to ask him to help and he was allowing of me to request him to do things, expecting nothing different than what I would tell him to do; I just had to make it sound like a request. "Hold the back of his mask here, please." I gently placed Bane's mask at the back of his head, holding it in place gently; I was going to avoid causing him as much pain as possible. My father nodded and replaced my hands with his, allowing me to grab the vaporizer and move it over Bane's head, making sure the strap it was attached to fell in place on his face.
"Hold this." I said to Bane as I placed the vaporizer over his mouth. "When I connect these two straps," I grabbed the bands that where going to fasten his mask, "to your mouthpiece, the venom will be released instantly. There will be the initial shock to your system because of the higher, and now more concentrated, dose but you just have to remember to breath slowly and steady. Okay?" He nodded. I hesitated before pulling the binds towards the rest of his mask. "This is going to hurt." He blinked slowly, as if telling me it would be okay. I gave a small smile, one that he would only recognize; I knew Ra's was watching.
I pulled hard and saw Bane's body tense even though his posture didn't move in the slightest. I have seen him in pain before, multiple times, so I could tell when he was hiding it from everyone else. Quickly, I used all of my strength to connect the last two straps and when I felt them secure in, I heard Bane breath in through the mask. It shocked me at first, it sounded mechanic and inhuman but I saw the relief in his eyes. He was doing as I said, breathing slowly and steadily but his eyes stayed on me. I knew he was watching for my reaction.
At first I didn't show any change, I just watched his chest rise and fall at a steady pace, trying to get used to the sound. I couldn't show my fear or the fact that I felt distant to the voice, I had to show that nothing had changed because, in reality, it hadn't. It was just the contraption that made that sound, it wasn't Bane. I smiled at him and put my hand on his forearm, I knew that would reassure him. "You did great." I heard my father clear his throat and I pulled my arm away. This was it, this is why I didn't want him to ever have to wear the mask; he was now part of the brotherhood.
"Bane." The mechanical breathing filled the silence as he continued the breathing ritual I told him to do. "You have passed your initiation, you are now part of the League of Shadows." I watched as his eyes brightened at the words, I knew he was happy. I knew Bane didn't see the missions as a potential threat, he didn't understand the dangers of what his new title brought; he only saw them as thrills. This now meant he would be going on missions, dealing with insubordinate contacts and doing these things with other people of the league but not me, I would always be left back here to await their safe arrival back home. "You will be situated with your own room, Azriel will show you to it when you are done training. For now, put on a brother's clothing and prepare for another lesson. I will see you in a few days." Ra's left the room, leaving Bane and I alone.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you." He shook his head; I saw the smile in his eyes. I felt a sudden sadness rush over me as I remembered what his smile looked like, the perfect curve and each one slightly different depending on his mood or what we were talking about. I felt him grab my shoulders, holding me in one place.
"It is time for you to sleep." His voice was alarming and I felt my body stiffen to my shame. Bane's grip became loose and when I looked at his eyes, I saw sadness in them. He was afraid that the mask would change how I saw him and how I reacted to him, I could tell. I smiled halfheartedly and ran a hand over his bicep. I nodded slowly and turned to walk towards my bed.
"I could sleep for a few hours, but wake me up for lunch." I saw the smile in his eyes again as he brought the blanket over my body.
"Of course." I heard the raspy robotic voice say back to me. I would have to get used to that noise, I couldn't allow it to scare me like that anymore. I fell asleep before I could count to two, my exhausted body finally getting the rest it needed.
When I woke up from my slumber, I stretched my body; it felt like I had been curled up in the same position for days. I listened to hear Bane and Azriel training but I didn't hear a word, not even the soft sound of feet hitting the floor or the mechanical sound of Bane's breathing. I heard nothing.
I felt my heart leap out of my chest as I stood up all too fast. I braced myself against the wall, as I felt light-headed from my quick movement. Where was Bane? I walked into the training room but the lights were off. I scowled at the obvious fact that he didn't wake me up after I went to sleep. I walked the halls, looking for Azzy or Bane but I couldn't find anyone. Nobody was training, or in the mess hall or in their rooms, everywhere I had looked I found nobody.
I eventually found my way into the main room of the league. It's where the main doors enter to, it's where most of the initiations happen and it had to be where everyone was. I opened the double doors and stopped in my tracks at what I saw. It looked exactly how it did when Riju had just come back from a mission with my sister; even my sister was wearing the same clothes. Was this some kind of sick joke?
There was a man who was kneeling in front of my father, he was obviously requesting something big from him if it required everyone to be here, but I still didn't understand why I wasn't awoken for this. I watched the man who was in front of my father, something about his was oddly familiar but I couldn't place my finger on it.
"And why should I allow you to marry my daughter?" I felt dizzy as my father's words filled the hall. This was all too familiar.
"Because I will take care of her." I knew that voice. "I will protect her." I felt my heart give out. It was Bane, that man's voice was Bane's. I felt like screaming but I couldn't make a sound, my mouth opened but no noise came from it. In silence, I panicked trying to get their attention. Flailing my arms but nobody saw me or acknowledged me. They all just watched my father and Bane interact.
"Father." Talia walked forward to stand beside Bane. "This man saved me. He is the reason I even stand before you. If this is the only thing he asks of you for saving your only daughters life—" I saw Ra's smile and nod his head, interrupting my sister's speech.
"Very well, let it be so. You two shall be wed." The room filled with cheers as tears started to roll down my eyes. I didn't understand what was happening but I wanted it to stop. This wasn't right, but I stopped thinking as I saw Talia and Bane kiss out of joy of the new announcement. They looked happy and overjoyed, something I had never seen them be. Talia turned around and looked in my direction, nobody was here except for myself but I had been invisible and mute this whole time; she couldn't have noticed me. But I saw her smile and wave at me as I felt cold and empty feeling come over my body within seconds.
I bolted upright in cold sweat, feeling the urge to scream and cry. It was only a dream. I focused on steadying my breathing as I closed my eyes. "Only a dream—"
"What was?" I heard Bane's robotic voice come from the doors between my office and my training room. I looked up at him and I saw his brow's crease. "I came to wake you up." I slowly got out of my cot and stretched my body. "You can sleep longer—" I shook my head, interrupting his sentence.
"No, no thank you. I don't care to sleep unless I can't dream and nobody can promise that." I walked past him, dragging my feet in a sluggish way. I sat on the stairs leading into the training room and rested my body against the frame of the door. "I will sit here, you continue training." Bane's breathing filled the silence; I couldn't help but smile at the sound. It was something I would have to get used to, but I saw myself already growing fond of it.
"Alright." He finally said after trying to decide if he would press the issue any further and obviously deciding not to. He walked past me and back to where Azzy was. It looked like they were learning how to mix explosives.
"You're mixing explosives in my training room?" I raised my voice and Azzy just looked over at me and smirked.
"Hello to you too." His smirk turned into a grin. "And if you can't be quiet then you can't watch. Make your choice." I scowled at him and just crossed my arms and rested back against the frame. I mindlessly watched them work, still too tired to focus on one thought for too long. I found myself being fascinated with the lining of their clothing, or the movement of their hands. Slowly my eyelids started to droop and covered me in darkness as I fell back asleep against the frame of the door.
"Rayna, time to wake up." Bane grabbed me by my shoulders and forced me into a sitting position. I looked up at him, still slightly asleep. I rubbed my eyes and started to nod. I started to turn around and walk into my office but Bane gripped my arm and stopped me from moving forward. "We sleep in an actual bed tonight." He looked at me, still holding my hand. "Come." Releasing my hand, Bane turned around and started to walk out into the hallway.
I hurried to catch up with him so I could follow Bane to wherever he cared to take me. "Are you wanting us to stay here from now on?" I stopped walking; shocked at the question I had just let slip through my filter. It was bold of me to assume that we would be staying together; Bane hadn't really done anything to tell me different though. He turned to look at me, letting his head fall slightly to the side.
"For now. You may stay here when I am not here if you like." I felt my expression leave my face as my lips turned into a solid line and my brows creased. What did he mean by saying 'for now'? "Your father is sending me on a mission tomorrow already. They need to set a contact straight and he thinks I will be the best person for the job." Bane answered my question that played in my head, but I almost wished he hadn't. I felt my insides tremor at the idea of Bane already leaving here for missions.
"A—and who are you going on this mission with?" I stuttered as I spoke, my voice meek and trembling. I already knew the answer and even though I didn't want to hear it, I had to. I had to hear him say her name, for it to make this all real.
"Talia." Bane's eyes watched me as a familiar emptiness started to grow inside of me. I felt my eyes glaze over as my mind went into shock, not knowing what to do. If Talia wasn't successful with appealing to Bane's growing dark nature this mission, she would eventually get to him on the second or third. It was just a matter of time.
I was startled awake as my body slammed against the floor of my office. I groaned from the sudden pain and the fact that I had, yet again, my own form of a night terror. I hated it when I didn't get any sleep, I didn't have the energy to worry about what gave me anxiety while I was awake so my subconscious forces me to deal with it when I sleep. One thing was definite though; I couldn't ignore the messages my dreams sent me.
I got up and saw both Bane and Azzy looking at me with curious eyes. I waved a hand casually at them. "Don't mind me, I'm going for a walk." I strode past them, putting on my best fake smile. I saw Bane could see through it but decided not to say anything for now; it just meant I would have to prepare myself to explain this all to him later. Walking the halls I thought of the smile I had seen on Talia face in my dreams, the smugness she had, the assured sense of entitlement she showed me with her gaze. It sent chills down my spine as it reminded me of the Talia I had grown up with, but she was different now. I had to keep thinking that.
I knocked on my father's door, hesitating before the first knock if I wanted to go through with my actions or not. "Ra's al Ghul, may I have the honor of an audience with you?"
"Come in." Ra's called after me. When I entered the room he was alone, sitting on the floor with a cup of tea in his hands. "Care for a cup?" I smiled and nodded. I could use the caffeine. I sat across from him as I watched him carefully pour me a hot cup of tea. When he handed it to me, I held it in my hands and breathed in the steam, feeling myself relax. "So what brings you to me when you're already so exhausted from the day and it cannot wait till tomorrow?"
I smiled but it quickly faded as I stared at the cup of hot tea in my hands. I had to think of a way to word my request, I had to leave no room for my father to even doubt I wasn't ready. I took a deep breath in and looked at Ra's with steady and calm eyes. "I want to become a true member of the league." He watched me as I spoke, obviously looking for any slight quiver in my stare or posture. He was realizing that for the first time, I came here to talk to Ra's al Ghul and not my father.
"And why should I do that?" Ra's asked me. I had to hide my smile; the fact that he would even ask me this question meant he was already considering it as an option.
"I'm a master already, I'm smart, I'm able to work quick on my feet, able to make quick and snap judgments and I'm not afraid to lead men into battle. I've—" I stopped as I started to plead. I felt like I was little again and explaining to my sister why I should be trained with her too, having to defend myself with listing off my qualities; I was never that good at it. I steadied my voice before continuing to speak. "I've read about all of your missions and all of the big missions that the league has executed. I know all of the strategies and I would even make hypothesis on other options they had to successfully finish the job. I can do this, I am finally ready." Ra's let out a soft hum as he thought my words over. I looked back down at my tea, as the silence grew heavier. Thoughts of doubt ran over my mind but I knew I had to stay confident; I couldn't let Ra's think that me not becoming an assassin for the league was an option.
"Why the change? You have been happy being the doctor for us and do you know how hard it will be to get another member trained to your skills? What solution do you have for that?" I smiled, I could hear the hope that he would catch me off-guard with these questions. I knew my father would be looking for the smallest excuse to say no to me; my answers had to be perfect.
"You can easily get an outside doctor in here. They will be better trained than me and up with modern practices. You have many contacts at your disposal, there shouldn't be an issue securing one of those to come here. They don't have to be up to speed with league affairs either until they prove themselves. There are ways to keep them in the dark." I took a deep breath as I prepared to answer the next question. I had my answer ready, it was the reason I was here but I didn't know if it was an acceptable answer for Ra's though.
"As for why…well I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of being the last person to be there before someone takes his or her last living breath. I tired of the death that leaves me feeling like I could have done something to save them, always something more. But do not get me wrong, it is not death that bothers me, I have seen it too much for it to bother me but I can't take it on my conscious anymore. I am ready to help fulfill your destiny. I am ready to swear my mind, body and soul to your cause, to help rid this world of the corrupt souls." I heard my father smile as I felt familiar hands on my shoulders. I was staring at my tea again, watching the steam slowly rise from the liquid and quickly disappearing.
"And what if I am not ready to have you do that?" I looked up at my father and smiled.
"That's not to be factored into your decision because that's your choice, not mine." He smiled at me but mine faded. "Besides, I have to do this father. I can't stay here while Bane goes on missions with Talia for months on end. God knows she's going to ask you to—"
"She already has." I felt my heart sink. Of course she had. I fell further into my sadness as the thought that my sister had never changed slipped into my mind.
"Even more reason then. You know I can do it, send me on simple missions first. Give me a test to prove to you I can do it." He squeezed my shoulders and sat back down in front of me.
"It's not a question of if or when you can do it Rayna. If this is what you truly want, as a father I have no right to deny it from you. Just like I have no right to deny Talia of her wishes. But what I fear is not that you cannot be an assassin, but that you will like it, that it will change you." He paused as he looked into his own tea. "When you kill a person for the first time, when you take their life with your own weapon, it will change you. You will not be innocent, you will have blood on your hands and you have to be ready to do that." He looked up at me, staring. "You will not be allowed to come to me or Bane and cry about it. I am telling you that now." I nodded. If that's what it will take, then I would do it. I heard my father sigh.
"Very well. You will leave tomorrow on your first mission with Azriel and his group. You will be going to Gotham to talk to our contact. Follow up with how our plan is to destroy that city is coming along. It's in the starting stages but that part of a plan is crucial. Come back from the mission alive and you will be a true member of this league." I had to suppress the urge to leap over the teapot and hug my father but that would just result with hot tea all over both of us. Instead I stood up and bowed deeply to my father.
"Thank you Ra's al Ghul. Your kindness is unparallelled." He inclined his head slightly and nodded my dismissal. As I walked to halls back to my office I thought of what my father said about not giving his daughters what we wished for. I knew that Talia would go on missions with Bane and I knew I couldn't stop that, I just had to be a little creative in thinking of a way to go along with them. I wouldn't mind if Talia tagged along on missions, she would be a great asset to a team; I would just want Bane there to stop her from trying to kill me, if those were even still her intentions. I let out a heavy sigh as my hands clasped on the door leading to my training room.
I could still hear Bane and Azzy talking but when I swung open the door they fell silent and watched me. I smiled as I greeted them. "Great news!" I exclaimed, closing the door. "I'm going to become a full-fledged member. I'm going on a mission starting tomorrow." Azzy ran up to me and hugged me, giving me his congratulations but when my eyes met Bane's all I saw was confused anger and for some reason, I was afraid.
Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn. Bane's not happy! I wonder why? :D I hope you all enjoyed this chapter though! I know it was a bit weird with her dreams but I totally get what happened to Rayna all the time. If I don't get enough sleep then I have night terrors because my mind will eventually just hit the off switch if I'm exhausted enough. xD
I have the next few days off so I should be updating back on schedule. On top of being super busy this whole weekend, the person who lives above me keeps on letting their alarm go off at 7am and the bass is so loud that my walls shake and it wakes up all of my roommates -.- It's horrendous. But anywho, enough about my worries!
Also! If some of you also ready "Vow to Protect" by Packersfan12 then you know that she was lovely enough to mention my story in her A/N so of course I had to go read that story, I don't mind taking time to do something Bane related, and my oh my! I loved the story and if you haven't read it yet you must! and I stress MUST go read it. I love the plot development and the OC development. It legit sucked me in and I was reading non-stop, ignoring people when they were talking to me; the whole nine-yards. (PS thank you to the reader who told me about this too)
Rant Over! I will talk to you next time!
And as always, thank you for taking the time to read my story and let me know what you think in a review or PM! :D
Love love,
Narrie