Chapter 10

The Caffrey family New Year's Day luncheon came to an end shortly after three o'clock. Linda had continued to drift in and out of consciousness all through the meal, falling asleep at the drop of hat, only to open her eyes every few minutes, just long enough to take a few bites and smile a tired smile. When the time came to leave, Neal settled his mom into bed for a much needed nap, making her as comfortable as possible as she briefly opened her eyes to look up at her son. He kissed the top of her head, urging her to go back to sleep and reminding her that he'd be back in a couple of days for another visit.

The elderly woman had been oblivious to all of them as they took turns saying their goodbyes.

Sara noticed Liam dawdling a little longer than usual when it came to his turn. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he was thinking; now that he was away at university, he would only be making it home every few months and he had to be wondering if his next visit might be to attend his grandmother's funeral. Sara jabbed Neal gently, drawing his attention to the scene and he nodded; he'd been thinking the exact same thing.

'I'm going to stay a little while longer' Caitlin announced as everyone prepared to leave.

Sara stepped forward, kissing her foster daughter on the forehead. 'Don't overdo it, okay? Call if you need a ride home.'

Caitlin nodded and watched her adoptive family leave before settling in next to her beloved grandmother, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly. Her eyes were drawn to the silky white hair framing her weathered, narrow face - this woman had been through so much in her long, storied life. A small smile graced Linda's lips as she slept; luckily she didn't appear to be in any discomfort - at least not at the moment.

Caitlin still couldn't quite figure out how this old lady, who she'd been introduced to just a few short years ago, had managed to have such a major influence on her young life. On the surface, the two had very little in common - except perhaps for the fact that they'd both suffered their share of heartache over the years. They'd both been called on to deal with issues of abandonment and unresolved grief and yet, Linda Bennet had risen above the heartache and chosen to finish out her life with acts of kindness and a graceful acceptance of the cards life had dealt her.

Whenever they had one of their heart to hearts, Caitlin always felt that Linda understood what she was going through - how being abandoned by your parents at such a young age left you feeling so lost and vulnerable that all you wanted to do was give the whole world a giant finger. Linda's words resonated with the young woman and she always spoke of Caitlin's future in positive terms, using words like love and hope and success, things Caitlin had all but given up on 'til she'd met Neal and Sara Caffrey.

The door to the room creaked open and Georgina appeared, eager to check on her favourite patient. She gave Caitlin a small smile before adjusting Linda's oxygen and doing a quick check of her patient's vital signs.

'Did you and your family have a nice lunch?' she asked the young woman who sat there, holding Linda's hand.

'Yeah… she ate a little bit, not much' Caitlin replied. 'She slept most of the time.'

'Unfortunately, she hasn't had much of an appetite since she's gotten back from the hospital, not that she's ever been a very big eater' Georgina commented. 'It's important to keep her hydrated, though. Just take your cue from her.'

Caitlin nodded. 'Do you think…' she hesitated, unsure what exactly she was asking. 'Is she going to get better?'

'Mrs. Bennett is tough, she's gotten over the worse of this horrible pneumonia' Georgina began, gently touching the sleeping woman's hair. 'But she's still very vulnerable and… it's hard to keep a lid on infections in a place like this, especially pulmonary infections.'

'Do you think she'd be better off living at home… with us?' Caitlin asked, her eyes lighting up at the thought of having Linda staying with them back in White Plains.

'She requires twenty-four hour care' Georgina said with a kind smile. 'And this is her home now. I think I know your grandmother pretty well and I get the impression she'd hate the idea of having all of you fussing over her.'

Caitlin's smile faded as she nodded in understanding.

'You work at the daycare, don't you? I've seen you on the playground with the kids' the woman said as she fiddled with Linda's bedding, getting the pillows just right.

'Yeah, I work with the preschoolers… twenty hours a week.'

'I've always wanted to work with kids. But I've got my little guy, he keeps me pretty busy.'

'Oh, yeah? How old is he?' Caitlin asked.

'He's three and a bit. Actually, he's on the waiting list for a spot at the daycare but… it's hard to get in.'

Caitlin nodded; the workplace daycare was very popular with the nursing home's employees and there were never enough subsidies for all those who needed them.

'So, who takes care of him now?' she asked.

'I live with my mom and she watches him while I'm at work but she's no spring chicken herself and sometimes I worry…' she replied, leaving her thought incomplete.

'What's his name? I could talk to Mrs. Dennison and find out where he is on the waiting list' Caitlin offered.

'Aidan… Aidan Morrison' the woman said softly. 'He… he has his dad's name. Actually, it's the only thing the loser gave to him before disappearing in a cloud of dust.'

She looked away, slightly embarrassed and fearing she'd been unprofessional but Caitlin just smiled back kindly; she'd seen a lot of single moms trying their best to get by.

Just then, Linda eyes fluttered open as she looked up at the two faces staring down at her.

'Did… did I fall asleep?' she asked.

WCWCWC

It was only eight o'clock but Neal was conked out on the couch in front of the television despite the singing nuns who were droning on about how they were going to go about solving a problem like Maria. Sara came into the family room and grinned at the sight of him; for all the boundless energy the man had, when he crashed, he really crashed. She grabbed for the blanket on the back of the couch and covered his outstretched legs, nudging him to lift his head up off the couch so she could slip in underneath him. He woke briefly, almost immediately settling in her lap with a soft mewling sound as she placed her hand on his head and began caressing his thick head of hair.

She recalled how he'd thrown the car keys in her direction as they'd hit the parking lot at Blue Skies.

'You drive' he'd said as her eyes grew in surprise.

Normally, he hated relinquishing control behind the wheel; as a matter of fact, her dubious (by his standards) driving skills had been fodder for ridicule and the cause of many an argument over the years. And yet, he'd handed over the keys without a second thought. After prodding, he'd admitted to feeling a little light headed, no doubt a side effect of this new drug he was taking - or so he insisted. Sara's worries weren't easily quelled and by the time they'd arrived home, she'd managed to nag him into a follow-up appointment with the doctor to see if his meds could be adjusted. Light headedness and dizziness - as well as headaches - were common side effects of the new drug but the last thing she wanted was to be picking her husband off the ground following an inelegant face plant in the middle of a parking lot.

Neal fidgeted on her lap, bringing his arm up and tucking it under her leg as he gave it a tight hug. Sara heard him sigh in contentment, followed by silence as the tv droned on. Hope was upstairs with Cameron and Liam had gone up to his room to watch something on his computer. No sign of Caitlin yet; if the past was any indication, she probably wanted to tuck her grandma in for the night before heading home.

It was a relief to see Caitlin was finally settling down after a couple of rough weeks - although Sara was fully aware that just about anything could set the young woman off at any given time. She was definitely on tender hooks these days, as they all were, worried about the state of Linda's health. Despite the nagging worry and Caitlin's recent shenanigans, Sara had to admit it had been a wonderful holiday season. Emily had visited during the week leading up to Christmas, sharing in the family's magical Christmas morning ritual, complete with a copious brunch and the usual gift exchange.

After all those years apart, Sara was becoming accustomed to having her sister around at Christmastime - not that their get-togethers were limited to the holiday season. Ever since they'd found each other again, Emily had made it a point of coming to New York four to six times a year and Sara had done the same, visiting her sister in Chicago every few months. Mostly though, their reunions took place at the Caffrey home - the house in White Plains had more room than Emily's small apartment and, that way, Emily got to see the whole family. Sara's trips to Chicago were limited to those times when she needed to get away from work for a few days - for some girl time, shopping, mani-pedis, dinners out and late nights catching up on all those years that fate had conspired to keep them apart.

Sara's mind wandered back to her mother-in-law; she'd looked particularly frail that afternoon as they'd all bustled around her. In fact, she'd slept through most of the festivities, opening her eyes from time to time to say a few words and smile weakly. Sara could see how much Neal was hurting as her health continued to deteriorate.

Recently, on top of his regular weekend visits, he'd gotten into the habit of dropping by the nursing home at lunchtime three days a week. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, he would leave the school of art in the Bronx and drive to New Rochelle to spend a precious hour with his mom, sometimes bringing along his own lunch, and after coaxing her to take a few bites, he would tuck her in for her afternoon nap before heading out to Manhattan to check on things at the gallery. On those days in particular, he was exhausted by the time he got home. He'd trudge up to bed, dragging his laptop with him so he could catch up on e-mails before returning to work the next day. Most nights, Sara found him asleep in front of the screen and had to tuck him into bed like a sleepy two year old. Their sex life had been practically non-existent for weeks now — except for the occasional morning clinches when Neal woke, fully rested and raring to go.

Sara had witnessed her husband's struggle in the aftermath of June's death and she braced herself for more of the same. Neal was a loving, compassionate man and she knew that Linda's eventual passing would leave him shaken up. The two of them had reconciled after a decades long separation; watching her leave his life again would be hard on him and she prayed he'd be able to cope with the situation without falling back on the dangerous habit he'd fallen into following Hope's accident. No way was she letting that happen without a fight.

Neal's relationship with his mother had been complicated from the get go. He'd drifted away from home in his teens and as soon as he'd been able to do so, he'd left behind the mess which was his life in St Louis and he'd headed to New York, seduced by the thrill and excitement of the big city. Forty years later, their reconciliation had been just as complicated. It had taken several months and some insistent prodding on Sara's part to get Neal to realize that deep down, he wanted his mom back in his life. Now, he couldn't imagine not having her nearby and Sara knew he was in for a rough time in the weeks and months to come. It would be her job to stand by him and make sure he got the support he needed to cope with the inevitable loss.

'Mom?' Hope's soft voice was heard over the sound of the television. She appeared, already clad in her pyjamas, a pair of oversized koala bear slippers on her feet, a Christmas gift from her thoughtful fiancé - the one with the odd sense of humour. 'Can Cam sleep over again tonight?'

What had begun as a privilege reserved for very special occasions had become a little more frequent as of late and Neal and Sara had agreed to loosen the reins. Saying no would just push their daughter away and she'd likely just follow Cam out to his apartment in Flushing - no better, by any stretch of the imagination. After all, she wasn't an innocent, wide eyed teenager who needed protection from some predator; Cameron Armstrong was the love of her life and about to become her husband.

'Sure' Sara replied with a gentle smile. 'Thanks for asking.'

'Caitlin not home yet?'

'Not yet' Sara murmured, her hand lightly caressing the stubble on Neal's cheek. He grimaced in response, letting out an unconscious groan.

'I see Daddy's out like a light' Hope commented with an amused grin.

'He's been going on all pistons for a few days. I guess it finally caught up to him' Sara replied as Maria pulled out a frog from her pocket and let out a loud yelp. The two women glanced at the television screen and giggled softly; they'd both seen the movie dozens of times over the years.

'We're watching it upstairs' Hope commented as Sara's eyes were drawn to the marsupials on her daughter's feet; they made her look like she was five years old again.

'What's Liam up to?' Sara asked.

Hope frowned but her answer was noncommittal. 'He's upstairs on his computer.'

'What?' Sara asked, trying to understand what the frown had been about.

'He's in a miserable mood. I think something happened with Cody last night.'

'What makes you say that?' Sara asked, leaning forward slightly.

'Because he told me something happened with Cody last night.'

Sara rolled her eyes; her daughter's acerbic sense of humour wasn't always what might be described as delightful. 'Details' she said, her lips pursed.

'I don't have any' Hope admitted with a shrug. 'I tried to get more out of him but… you know what he's like when he decides to clam up.'

Sara nodded; of their two kids, Liam was definitely the strong, silent one. If he wasn't ready to open up, there was nothing you could do about it, short of putting a firecracker up his ass to get him to open up — and even then…

'All right, well, get some sleep, honey' Sara said. 'And don't forget, we said we'd hit the mall tomorrow.'

'After my shift at the gallery' Hope said as she gave her a thumbs up and turned to leave, practically tripping over her own two clumsy feet.

'Goodnight' she called out over her shoulder.

Neal stirred from his impromptu nap. 'Babe…' he muttered sleepily, squeezing her thigh. 'What time is it?'

'Just past eight' Sara replied as she stroked his hair, pushing it off his forehead and leaning down to place a chaste kiss between his eyebrows.

He immediately grew quiet again and within seconds, she heard the soft rumbling of snoring as he pressed his stubbly cheek against her lap with a soft moan.

Now, getting him off the couch and up to bed… that was the real challenge.

WCWCWC

Liam sat up in bed, trying to concentrate on his computer screen, something that was easier said that done. Following the events of the previous night, he hadn't been able to get Cody out of his mind. He couldn't blame his ex for his seemingly over the top reaction. After all, Liam had been less than forthcoming about his budding relationship with Todd. He had to admit that if the roles had been reversed and Cody had been putting the moves on him while exchanging sexy texts with another guy, he wouldn't have been all that thrilled, either.

The thing was, Liam wasn't at all sure how he felt about this new guy - certainly, he was enjoying the fun and games but if he was honest, it wasn't much more than that. Todd's cute little habits were slowly becoming annoying - the way he showed up unexpectedly in Liam's dorm room without calling ahead, how he could never take no for an answer, how he'd shown up twice at Liam's basketball practices despite the fact Liam had deliberately asked him not to. The guy was really pushy and clingy and Liam longed for the good old days with Cody when things had been so uncomplicated. The two of them had been together so long, they could practically read each other's minds and it felt so easy to be together, not work at all. Not like all the effort required dealing with this new relationship with Todd Greenway.

Liam slammed his computer shut in frustration, unable to concentrate. He turned over on his side and reached for the bedside lamp, shutting it off as he stretched out on the bed. By reflex, he reached for his phone, staring at the blank screen; it was beyond repair and the first order of business was to head out in the morning to get a new one. He lay there, his arms folded behind his head as he evaluated his options.

He could reach out to Cody, try to make amends, attempt to better explain the nature of his relationship with Todd - a little more honestly, this time. He could go back to Syracuse and break it off with Todd and then, come home and try to start fresh with Cody. Or he could just leave things the hell alone, accept the way things were and get on with his sad, sorry life. The decision to go their separate ways had been arrived at mutually after a great deal of soul searching and none of the excellent reasons for breaking up had changed over the past four months. Was it fair to Cody to try to keep a long-distance relationship fresh and vibrant when they were miles apart and both too young to commit?

One thing was increasingly clear. He still loved Cody Miller and despite all the wonderful reasons they'd had for giving each other some space, he realized he didn't want that space anymore. He wanted the man back in his life and he needed to find a way to make that happen.

WCWCWC

'You're up bright and early' Neal commented when he saw his son appear in the kitchen the next morning, showered and dressed.

'I fell asleep early' Liam said by way of explanation as he made his way over to the fridge.

He peeked inside, past the large number of containers of leftovers and grabbed for a jug of juice, setting it down on the table, next to his dad.

Neal had his computer open to his work e-mails and Liam glanced over his dad's shoulder, peeking at the screen.

'I thought the school was closed for the week' he said, returning to the cupboard for a glass.

'It is' Neal said, closing the laptop and turning his full attention to his son. 'But I'm behind with e-mails and the gallery re-opens this morning.'

'You know, I'm more than happy to catch a bus back to Syracuse on Saturday. I really don't need you driving all the way up there just for me.'

'No, no!' Neal said adamantly. 'I want to. I'm looking forward to getting out of town for the day. Besides…' he added with a smile, '…it'll give us a chance to catch up. It's been like party central around here for the past week, I feel like we haven't had the chance to just sit and talk. And I wanted to go to that Italian place near your campus… unless you have other plans.'

'No, no other plans' Liam murmured as he took a sip of juice. 'Dinner at Caruso's would be great.'

As every parent knew, spending time alone in a car with your kids was the absolute best way to get them to open up about what was on their mind. There you were, just the two of you, trapped for hours on end with no escape route. For any parent worth his salt, that was an absolute gold mine. Even a kid like Liam, who tended to keep things well under wraps, was unable to squirm out of answering questions when the long road stretched ahead for miles on end.

'So, what are you up to today?' Neal asked his son.

'I need to go out and get a new phone' Liam replied. 'I… had an accident with mine the other night.'

Neal didn't ask for details; he'd dropped three phones in the toilet over the years and lost another two. He was in no position to comment.

'Want some company? I need to pick up a new extension cord for my laptop' he said, pointing to his computer. 'I'm meeting Uncle Peter for lunch but that gives us all morning.'

Truth was, Neal was pretty sure he had an extra cord at work but it might be nice to spend a little time with Liam; he had a feeling something was up with his son.

'Sure' Liam said and if Neal wasn't mistaken, the young man looked relieved.

WCWCWC

Sara was enjoying the few days off work. Things were always intense at Sterling Bosch but they would be that way whether she took time off or not. Luckily, her right hand woman, Lydia Jordan, was headed back to the office to keep an eye on things until Sara returned next Monday. She settled on the couch with a second cup of coffee and the new bestseller she'd been wanting to read for weeks - not a work file or a recovery report, an honest to goodness novel from one of her favourite mystery authors.

Hope, Cam and Caitlin had all returned to work and Liam and Neal were out at the mall, leaving Raffie and his mistress with the run of the house. She'd barely gotten past the first chapter when the phone rang and the dog looked up at her with a quizzical look.

'Are you going to get that or shall I?' he seemed to be asking as Sara got to her feet.

'I'll get it' she told him, her eyebrows wagging.

'Mindy! Hi!' she said into the phone.

'Hi Sara! I was just calling to say thanks again for the other night' the woman said. 'Mike and I had a great time.'

'You're welcome. It was great to see you guys' Sara agreed.

As nice as this courtesy call was, Sara couldn't help but wonder what the real reason for the phone call might be. Surely Mindy Miller wasn't just phoning to say thank you - something she'd done profusely when she and Mike had left the Caffrey home two nights before. Luckily, she didn't have to wait terribly long. After a few benign niceties about how the Millers and Caffreys had spent their New Year's Day, Mindy took a deep breath and plunged in.

'So, how's Liam?' she asked, a little breathless.

'Liam? What do you mean, how's Liam?'

'Nothing, it's just… well, the truth is…' she began, her voice dropping as if she were about to confide a deep, dark secret. '…Cody's been upset since the other night and I overheard him on the phone this morning talking to one of his friends about what happened.'

'You were eavesdropping on your grown son's phone conversation?' Sara said, her voice full of judgement.

She could almost hear Mindy Miller's face redden across the line.

'I've been worried about him, so sue me' the woman said with a tsk.

Sara certainly got it; far be it from her to admit it but she'd done her fair share of eavesdropping on her kids over the years - always with the best of intentions, of course.

'So… what exactly happened the other night?' she asked, her holier than thou attitude morphing into pure, unadulterated curiosity.

'Apparently, some of the kids locked Liam and Cody in the basement over at Will's place so they could talk things out. Everybody seems to think they made a big mistake going their separate ways.'

Sara listened with interest. 'Oh yeah?'

'I heard Cody say it was going fine… until Liam got a text from his boyfriend.'

'Oh no!' Sara replied. 'You know, I get the distinct impression Liam's not that much into this Todd guy but I think he might be feeling a little trapped.'

'Well, Cody's been moping around ever since, even though he hasn't come clean to me or his dad about why he's in such a funk.' She hesitated before going on. 'Sara, I heard Cody say he thought he and Liam had made a big mistake by breaking up.'

'Really? I get the same feeling from Liam' Sara said. 'But what can we do? They're both grown men. We can't start meddling in their lives.'

'I guess… but…' Mindy said, leaving the rest unsaid.

'What are you saying?' Sara asked, her brand new paperback novel completely forgotten for the moment.

'Maybe they just need a little help' came the reply.

WCWCWC

Neal took advantage of the silence in the car to broach a couple of touchy subjects - not touchy exactly, just topics he knew his son didn't open up about very easily. First off, he wanted to know why Liam had been so quiet since that New Year's Eve party over at Will's place. He suspected something had happened that night and he had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with Cody Miller. And then, there was the matter of the look in the young man's eyes as he'd said goodbye to his grandmother the day before. It was time to delve into his quiet son's psyche and get him open up.

'I noticed what you slipped under Grandma's pillow yesterday… when you were saying goodbye to her' Neal said as the car made its way to their local Best Buy.

Liam gave his dad a sideways glance, slightly embarrassed. 'You probably think it's silly…' he said. '…at my age.'

'Of course I don't' Neal replied, thinking of the smooth pebble which had been Liam's lucky charm since he was just a kid.

It had started amongst the young boy's massive collection of rocks and colourful pebbles he'd picked off the water's edge by the Muskoka cottage they'd rented every summer while the kids were young. In time, Liam had divested himself of the collection, keeping this one single polished gem, a flat sandstone pebble which had become a lucky charm in pretty well all the meaningful moments of his son's life. Neal recalled how Liam used to slip it into his tube socks at every one of his high school basketball games and how he tucked it in his pocket for safekeeping on test days; it had never let him down.

When June had been on her deathbed, he'd watched in wonder as thirteen-year-old Liam had slipped it under her pillow in her hospital room to keep her safe on her long journey. Neal had been further astounded when the young man had confided that, although he knew June was dying, he'd just wanted his beloved godmother to have a peaceful voyage to the other side.

'After I got shot, I remember finding it under my pillow in my hospital bed' Neal recalled as the memories flooded back. 'I know how much it means to you. Do you still tuck it into your sock during games?'

Liam grinned and shook his head. 'No. I gave that up. I usually just keep it in my gym bag.'

'Well, you don't want to jinx things…' Neal began.

'I think Grandma needs it more than I do right now' Liam said with a faraway look in his eyes.

Neal brought his hand to rest on Liam's knee. 'Unfortunately, I think she's going to need more than a lucky pebble to get through this but… maybe it'll help with a nice, peaceful transition.'

Liam grew quiet and finally looked over at his dad, seeing tears forming in the older man's eyes.

'That's what I was hoping to do, Dad. Just help make things peaceful and serene for her… when the time comes' Liam said quietly.

Neal just nodded, momentarily unable to speak.

'I know this is hard on you, Dad' Liam said, '…watching her slip away.'

There was an awkward silence while Neal recuperated. He coughed roughly.

'So' he finally said, finding his voice again. 'Tell me about this new guy you've been dating. Is it serious?'

Liam sighed loudly. 'I… I don't think so. I think he's more of a transition guy, if you know what I mean.'

Neal nodded; he'd had his share of rebound romances. For the longest time, he'd thought that was all Sara had been following Kate's death. It was probably safe to assume, after almost thirty years in each other's orbits, that what they had was more than just a passing thing.

'Sometimes, we just need to step away from a situation to get a good look at it and realize what exactly we had in the first place' he replied cryptically, giving a sideways glance in his son's direction.

Liam didn't say much, he just let that sit for a minute. Neal figured he was on to something and just sat in silence, letting what he hoped were words of wisdom sink in. After a moment, he spoke up.

'You never said, how did it go the other night? Over at Will's place?' Neal asked.

He wasn't sure how his dad did it, but he always seemed to be able to zero in on things, picking up on the subtlest of cues.

To the silence that followed, Neal added. 'Did you run into Cody over there?'

He counted to five, then ten, the silence in the car deafening.

'Dad' Liam finally said, turning to look intently at his father. 'I think I've made a terrible mistake.'

TBC