Wish I owned them, but I don't. Tear. :'( (visual)

The next Monday was an experience. Everyone kept looking at and commenting on their hair. Mandy and Kitten tried to say that they were responsible for it, but that was quickly thrown in their face when both loudly proclaimed that anyone who wanted to follow suit could get the colors at Sally's, they were Pink #4 and Deep Amethyst #7 (1). Rachel could see that Gar kept throwing her looks in Biology, Kori in Math, Vic in English, Dick in Spanish and Tara kept glaring at her when ever she saw her.

"I already told you where to get it if you're jealous." Rachel told Tara in the hall after Tara threw her a particularly nasty glare. Jenny laughed along with her and Jericho gave an appreciative smile.

The play was coming on nicely, all the props and costumes were almost done, and all Rachel, Jenny and Jericho really had to do now was make sure that everything was in its place. The only big things were to finish painting the backdrops, and they were almost done. The play would be put on right before they left for winter break. They were at a practice running through where everything went and when it went there, when something happened.

"What do you mean you like her hair?" came the shrilling voice of Tara. The gym was silent where Rachel was, but she knew that whoever she yelled at was defending him or herself. "I suppose you want to break up with me and go out with her now?" Rachel now knew she was yelling at Gar. "Well, I'll spare you the trouble! We're over!" The next thing anyone saw was Tara storming off stage and out of the auditorium.

"What was that about?" Jenny asked.

"I don't know." Rachel said as she watched a close to tears Gar go running after Tara.

Gar came in a few minutes later, looking forlorn. Rachel felt her heart go out to him, but stayed back. She returned to her work.

About half an hour later, she came face to face with Gar, however.

"Hey, Rachel." he said.

"Hey, Gar." she said, "Uh, I couldn't help but hear part of what happened earlier and I want to say that I'm sorry."

"Yeah, whatever." he bit.

'What?" she asked.

"I know you couldn't care less." he said, still in that biting tone, "She told us about your little chat with her, how you don't care what we do or what happens to us."

"And what chat was this?" she asked, her tone no longer sympathetic.

"I don't have to answer to you." he said before leaving her. She just watched him leave. She had never said that, any of it. Sure, she may have hinted at it, but that was just to cover her own hurt. She felt the same hurt bubbling up again. She had to get out of here. She told Lindy that she wasn't feeling good and that she needed to go home. She told Jenny and Jericho that she was leaving, then left. She stormed home, refusing to cry. She got about two blocks from the school when the tears broke free of her eyes.

She was still crying when she got home. She was startled to see a car that she didn't know in their driveway. She dried her tears as best as she could, then went into the house. "Hello?" she called.

"In here, Rachel." came the calm voice of her father from the front room. She followed the voice and saw her father, Slade, and an old couple looking like they had just had dinner and were in the middle of discussing business.

"Did I miss something?" she asked her father.

"I would like to introduce you to the Smith's. We had a business dinner tonight." her father said, again in that calm voice.

"I wasn't aware of a dinner tonight." she said as she entered the front room completely, "I'm sorry I missed the pleasure." she added, shaking Mr. Smith's hand.

"It was a last minute thing." he father said, "I tried to call, but no one answered. Luckily Wilson was able to make the preparations."

"I'm sorry, I was at a practice for the school play." she said as she shook Mrs. Smith's hand.

"I hear that this year is to be extra special." Mr. Smith said.

"Yes, sir." Rachel said, "We even got permission to use the Victoria Theater (2)."

"Isn't that lovely." Mrs. Smith said, "Are you in the play?"

"No, ma'am, I'm working with props and scenery."

"That's nice." Mrs. Smith said.

"Rachel," her father said, "I will talk to you later. For now go up to your room."

"Yes, sir." she said. She excused herself from their company. As she was heading up the stairs she heard Mrs. Smith ask if it was her eyes or was Rachel's hair purple.

"She got some bad hair dye." he father said.

"You let her dye her hair?" Mr. Smith asked incredulously.

'Shit.'

Rachel dreaded when the Smith's would leave. She eventually heard the door close and tried to brace herself. She heard her father stomp up the stairs and bust her door open.

"Where the hell where you?" he demanded.

"I told you this morning that I had to go to this thing." she said.

"You didn't even come home to clean up?" he demanded, "I left a message on the machine."

"No, I didn't. It started right after school."

"You are to stay here. Go nowhere. Call or talk to no one. I'll be back to take care of you later." he said. And with that he left her room.

He had beaten her before, but this, this was worse. He had taken her dignity, pride and self confidence before, but this was different. Those could be built back up, this was gone forever, there was no getting this back. It was supposed to be her's to give to whom she deemed the right one, but he stole it. She discarded her ripped clothes, those that were still on her, and quickly dressed in lose clothes. She gingerly walked out of her room, leaving her still passed out father on her bed. Tears flowed freely from her eyes. She quietly opened up the front door and went out of the house, not bothering to close it all the way.

She started down the street, wondering where she would go. Should she go to Jenny's? She had promised that she would if she could, but she didn't think she could. She couldn't, not after what he did to her, she couldn't look at any one right now. She found herself in a familiar part of town, she was near the church. She went up to the door and was grateful when it gave. She went in to find it deserted. She sat in a pew and just let it all out.

After she had no more tears to cry, she thought of her situation. She couldn't go back there, but she had no where to go. She looked around her. She saw a picture of a woman that had committed suicide. Azar had let the family have a service for her here when her own church refused to allow it. That woman felt like there was no other way out. Like Rachel felt now. But that was the cowards' way out. Did she want to be a coward? But now that she thought about it, it wasn't a cowardly act, you had to be brave beyond belief to be willing to take your own life. To knowingly do something that would kill you? That took guts. Did she have those?

She did. After all, what was holding her back? No one cared for her. Definitely not her father. Not Gar, Kori, Dick, or Vic. Jenny and Jericho might take it a little hard, but they'd get over it. She had no one and no one wanted her. It was like Tara had said, they would all be happier with out her.

She went to the nurses office in the church where they took injured homeless in and performed what first aide they could. She looked around for what she needed. She grabbed a bottle of painkillers, the kind that would knock anyone out. She then went back to the congregation hall and took the athame; she might as well do this all out. She knew that Azar would need to get a new athame, but they were easy enough to get, any knife would do. She filled the chalice with water from the fountain, went back to the front of the hall and used the water to help her swallow the whole bottle of pills. She picked the anthame up and looked at it. She stared at it for a while, contemplating if she could do this. She had already swallowed the pills, was this really necessary? Everything started to go blurry; she assumed that the pills were starting to take effect. She stared at the anthame a while longer, the sun was beginning to rise. She heard a rustle in the back ground, this stunned her and she gave a jump. The athame pierced her skin. It hurt, it hurt like hell, but it was oddly satisfying. She got some sort of odd pleasure out of it. She finished that wrist, then started to attack the other. When she was done, she looked at her wrists. She slid down the wall to a sitting position, the effects of the pills and the blood leaving her were causing her to be dizzy and light headed. She vaguely thought she heard Azar shout her name, but thought it was just her mind playing tricks as everything went black.

Rachel was shocked when she came to in a hospital. She groaned and heard a person move. She opened her eyes to see pink fill her still blurry vision. She rubbed her eyes as the pink blob gave her a hug and revealed itself to be Jenny.

"I was so worried!" Jenny said, "They said that you should wake up soon, but that was three days ago! How do you feel?"

Rachel thought about this, "I have a headache, my wrists hurt and I'm thirsty."

"Here, have some water." Jenny said, pouring a glass.

Rachel felt a hand on her arm and looked to see a relieved looking Jericho. "Hey." she said, "Have I really been out for three days?"

He four fingers. "I've been out for four days?" she asked.

"Yes." Jenny said, a small smile still on her face, "I have to go let the nurse know. They said to tell someone if you woke up." Jenny said as she handed Rachel the water. She stood up and left.

Rachel fell back against her pillow. Four days?

"So what's going around school?" she asked Jericho. He lifted his paper and began to write.

"People haven't really seemed to notice." the paper said. She had figured as much, but it still hurt to no that no one noticed her missing. "The teachers haven't said anything because it looks bad on a school- someone trying to commit suicide, no one wants to think of it. Some of those who have noticed you gone think that you either ran away or were sent away. While not agreeing to either of these, we haven't discouraged the rumors either."

Just then Jenny and a nurse came in. The nurse ushered Rachel's friends out so she could do a check up.

"You certainly went through a bit." the nurse said, indicating the bruises. Rachel stayed silent. The nurse remained silent through the rest of the examination. She said everything was as good as could be expected, and that the doctor would be around in a bit.

She left and let Jenny and Jericho back in.

"What did she say?" Jenny asked.

"That it is was as good as was expected." Rachel said.

There was silence.

"What did he do to you, Rachel?" Jenny asked.

"I don't want to get in to it right now." she said.

"Will you talk to us when you are ready?" Jenny asked.

"I don't know." Rachel honestly answered.

"If you decide to, we won't judge." Jenny said, to which Jericho laid a comforting, agreeing hand on Rachel's to convey his assertion of this.

He lifted his paper and wrote, "I won't even talk about it to anyone." and gave her a sad smile as he mimicked zipping his lips shut. The others gave sad chuckles.

"Will you guys not tell anyone in school?" she asked, "About this, I mean." she said, lifting her wrists.

"We promise." Jenny said.

"I'll burn this notebook." Jericho wrote.

"Thanks." she said.

They heard a voice over the PA system say that visiting hours were now over.

"Looks like you picked the worst time to wake up." Jenny said, and gave a small chuckle. Jericho bent over and picked a stack of books up.

"What's this?" Rachel asked, "Homework?"

He shook his head no. Jenny said, "We brought you some books."

"Thanks, guys." she said, "Really."

They gave her a hug before they left. She felt a little uncomfortable about this, but found the warmth and tangible emotion radiating from her friends calming. Rachel picked up one of the books and began to read. The doctor soon came in though.

"Hello, Rachel." she said.

"Hello." she replied sleepily.

"How do you feel?"

"Tired." Rachel said.

"Sleeping makes you tired." the doctor gave a chuckle. "Do you have any questions?

"Why didn't I die?" No point in beating around the bush.

"Two things really." the doctor said, beginning her check up on Rachel, "One, the pills you took were extended release, they hadn't all been absorbed. Two, that Azar woman found you quick and called us right away. I believe that she is also the one who called your friends. She was here yesterday."

"Oh."

"Anything else?" the doctor asked. Rachel shook her head. "Then answer a question or two for me." the doctor said, "Who did this to you?" Rachel froze.

"I don't know." she lied.

"You're lying." the doctor said, "A lot of these bruises are old, very old. And you have minimal self-protection wounds, so you didn't really fight back. Some one you know did this to you." Rachel remained silent. "I guess you don't have to answer me. Just know that I'm only here to help you." she stood up, "Are you in any pain?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want something?"

"That'd be nice."

"Then I'll send a nurse in with a pain killer, probably something in vitro, and I'll see you tomorrow. Get some rest." and with that she left.

Rachel picked her book up and tried to read some more, but soon felt her eyes droop. She soon fell into a deep sleep.

So deep in fact, that she didn't notice the nurse come in with her pain killers or that she got a roommate in the night. A little boy, no older than six or seven, who had been in an accident when a drunk driver ran a red light and rammed into the car the boy and his mother were in.

Notes:

1) Yeah, I made those color names up. But there really is a black/purple color at Sally's. I didn't make that up.

2) Made that up too. But I based it on a Theater near where I used to live, the Victoria, which I don't own.

Ok, this one isn't too long, but there's another one. I originally had them together, but upon re-reading it, I thought it was best broken up.

So this was the "serious stuff" I warned about last time. I trust that you only read if you felt that you were mature enough, 'cause I'm trusting like that.

Um, about the athame and chalice, from the scene in "The End" where she goes to Azarath, I got a Wiccan vibe, so I based the religion of the church on that and gave it those tools. I dunno.

The real notes are in the next one, if you actually read them that is.

Lemme know! ;)