Misao: Pairings: Disclaimer: Warnings:
Ana Ohebak Chapter 10
Crucify my love
If my love is blind
Crucify my love
If it sets me free
Never know Never trust
"That love should see a color"
Crucify my love
If it should be the way
Swing the heartache
Feel it inside out
When the wind cries
I'll say goodbye
Tried to learn Tried to find
To reach out for eternity
Where's the answer
Is this forever
As my mind slowly returns from the blissful depths of sleep, I'm aware of feeling two things.
Warm and safe.
It's a strange, unfamiliar thing to wake up to. I'm aware enough to remember that I'm in Yuugi's house. But I can't fathom why I feel so content. Slowly, my mind registers the fact that there are arms around me, holding me tightly, protectively against someones chest.
I've only woken up feeling these things in the arms of two particular people. My light's arms… and Marik's.
Marik….
His name cuts through the daze of just waking up, and I'm suddenly too much aware of who's arms are around me, and why.
Humiliation. That's a perfect word to describe what I feel right now. Complete, utter humiliation. I'm so weak… how could I have let myself break down like that? How could I let myself take comfort in the arms of the man who's father is responsible for the slaughter of my family, responsible for making my life hell?
So many questions…
Why did I let him kiss me? More importantly, why did I kiss him back? Why did it feel so good? Why did I let him hold me? Why did I fall asleep in his arms?
Why… do I feel so safe in his arms?
I open my eyes, grateful that the room is still partially dark, only small slivers of light shining through the blinds. I wonder what time it is? I push the minor thought aside as I stare at Yami's chest, which is rising up and down slowly, evenly. I'm glad he's still asleep. I don't want to deal with the consequences of my actions yesterday…I can't get over how pathetic I acted.. I'll never live this down…I won't.
The Pharaoh was lying… I know he was. He pulled all the right strings though. All the right ones to make me fall apart.
He won…
Slowly, carefully so as not to wake him up, I pull my head away from his chest and look up at his sleeping face. He looks so peaceful, content. I suppose I would be to if I finally managed to break my enemy in one of the worst possible ways.
A brief flash of his eyes, the way he looked at Honda crosses my mind. Was that an act? Did he drag all of his little friends into this? Are they all at home laughing? Knowing that they played a part in helping the Pharaoh crush his enemy?
But then… his eyes last night, right before I feel asleep. He couldn't have faked that, could he? That look I had seen in Marik's eyes when he said…
No… I don't want to think about that, about him. I want things to go back to the way they were, before all of.. this. Before Seto even. It's times like this…when I wish that Ammit could have devoured my soul. Then I wouldn't exist, I wouldn't be in this situation… wouldn't hurt anymore.
Yami shifts, pulling me closer and I freeze, knowing the slightest movement would him up. But it doesn't quite matter because not even a few seconds later I'm staring into unfocused, sleepy amethyst eyes.
"Bakura…?" He murmurs, eyes closing again as he lets out a yawn. I don't move, I don't even think I'm breathing. I'll admit it, I'm scared, scared of what's going to happen, of not knowing what's going to happen, "Are you okay?" He mumbles, nuzzling his face into my hair.
I nod, not trusting my voice. I'm shaking slightly and I know he can feel it too, but he's not saying anything, which I'm grateful for. He sighs and pulls away, and I have to resist the urge to wrap my arms around his waist and pull him back down.
"I'm sorry.." He whispers, sitting up completely and leaning against the wall. I feel awkward all of the sudden, so I sit up too, staring at the blankets. I can't look at him right now…
"What for?" I ask softly. Despite probably having more then enough sleep I still feel drained.
"Last night… I took advantage of you." He replies. I glance up at him for a second, he has his head in his hands, looking frustrated, "You were upset and I, I never should have…" He sighs again, lifting his head up to look at me, "I know.. I know how you feel about Marik, Bakura. I know you love him…" He pauses, waiting to see if I had any objections of that, I suppose. When I don't reply, he continues with a sigh, "I… I just, I didn't know what else to do. You were upset, and I… it just seemed like a good opportunity to tell you…." He trails off, his eyes lowering to the floor.
What does he want me to say? I know he doesn't expect to have his feelings returned, if there are really any said feelings to be returned. I can't let myself, not after all this shit. After Seto, and Marik, I can't handle any more of this emotional bullshit. Ra, it was so much easier to be a heartless bastard as a permanent occupation. I never had to deal with people, and when I did, I killed them so I wouldn't have to anymore. I'll blame Ryou, that's what I'll do. Him and all of his… caring and kindness. It's his fault. I was fine before him.
Oh, right. Pharaoh's still waiting for me to say something…
"Look, Yami," I surprised him just as much as I surprised myself by actually using his name in an un-sarcastic or malicious tone, "As much as your… feelings… are appreciated… you know it won't work." I tell him. I think after this I'll go out and slaughter something. Anything will do, from an old man to a squirrel. I need to do SOMETHING in-character after all of this.
"If it's because of the past, Bakura, as much as I regret it there's nothing I can-"
I cut him off, "Oh quite the bullshit pharaoh, you know that's only part of the reason." I sigh, and lift my head to meet his gaze, "Besides the fact that it would just be fucking weird, what if Marik found out? He'd obviously think I rejected him for you, and then he'd really hate me… and if he found out about the child on top of that who knows what he would do. Probably murder you…. And then what about your friends? They-"
"I don't care!" Yami snaps, "Yuugi's opinion is the only one that really matters, and he already knows… the others… they'd get over it." He murmurs, then rolls his eyes, "Ra, I don't even know why I'm arguing… I know it'll never happen… I just.. Shit, I don't even know what I'm doing." he chuckles bitterly.
"We could always be fuck buddies." I comment.
"Bakura! That's not funny!" He glares.
"What? I'm serious! Your sexy enough, even I have to admit that…" I grin a little at his wide-eyes expression.
"I'm not going to be your fuck buddy, Bakura." He shakes his head exasperatedly.
I shrug, "Fine, your loss. I can always find some willing partners downtown…" I say thoughtfully.
"In your condition, you shouldn't even be thinking about it."
"Just because I'm knocked up doesn't mean I can't have sex!" I retort.
"I'm sure you'll find a lot of people who will fuck a pregnant man out there Bakura, good luck with that." He sounds sort of… defeated. Not a normal tone for him. Well, I suppose rejection will do that to you. But hey! I offered him sex! Who turns that down?
He goes to get up, but then suddenly my arm snaps up and grabs him, pulling him back down onto the bed and before I realize what I'm doing I'm on top of him. His shocked expression would have been comical had he not looked so.. Delicious all of the sudden.
"Bakura…?" I cut him off by forcefully pressing my mouth against his. He lets out a muffled squeak, which I ignore as I let my hand wander down his leather covered form, which he still had on from yesterday. He starts struggling, but he doesn't get the chance to really try as I give his lower regions a light squeeze. That stops him real quickly, emmiting a gasp from him.
Perfect.
I dart my tongue into his mouth, immediately loving the taste. Who knew the pharaoh's loud mouth could taste so sweet? I feel his tongue push against mine, and I'm about to growl in annoyance, thinking he's trying to resists again, only to find that he's joined actually responding.
I feel a harsh yank on my hair after a while and I pull back, breathing rather hard, but loving the flushed look on his face. After a few moments he glares at me, "What the fuck was that?"
I smirk, grinding my hips against him, and his eyes widen from both the contact and the fact that I just so happen to be highly aroused, "I told you I'm not going to be your fuck buddy."
"What about a one-night stand?" I ask in a suggestive tone. In the very back of my mind, the part I'm ignoring right now, I wonder what made me jump on him like this. It's not like me to get aroused randomly, or easily for that fact.
"What? Look tomb robber-" I silence him once again, but this time he pushes me away roughly. Well, I always did enjoy a challenge.
"What's the matter Pharaoh? Don't you want me?" I lean down, so I'm nose to nose with him, but then I'm staring at the ceiling. I blink, and realize the Pharaoh is now on top of me, sitting on "Oh, so you want to be seme?" I grin, "Fine, but only this once since you obviously haven't gotten any in years."
"You do realize that your lack of self-control if due to your pregnancy, right?" Yami states matter-of-factly. So un-sexy. If he would just- wait, what?
"What are you rambling about? Your killing the mood." I grumble.
"It's a fact that most woman get horny often while pregnant, and obviously, the same goes for you." He gets off me and heads towards the door, "You know where the bathroom is. I'm not about to be the victim of your condition." He smirks.
I glare, "So your just going to leave me like this?" I growl. The nerve of that bastard! Says he wants me, then leaves me after he gets me all hot and bothered!
"It would only make the… situation… worse." He says, avoiding my eyes. Ugh! I hate when the pharaoh gets rational. Who needs rationality? I never had it and look at me! I'm still here!
Though, for some reason I suddenly feel depressed. I fall out of my lusty haze and right into a pit of self-loathing. Of course, I think to myself, why would he want to touch me? I am, after all, just a dirty thief. I knew he wasn't serious about those so-called 'feelings'. I shouldn't be surprised. Though I bet he didn't predict this part when he was planning out my demise.
"Bakura?" I jerk my head up to see him right beside me again, looking worried, "Are you okay?"
"Fine!" I snap. Now I feel angry. Now he's worried? And has the nerve to ask me if I'm okay? It's his fault! Bastard!
Sighing, I've decided, has become a hobby to us all, as he does just that and sits beside me, "Hey. How about we make a deal?"
That peaks my interest, "Deal?" I repeat with suspicion.
He nods, "How about this. You give me a chance, just one, if I screw up then… I won't bother you with my feelings again. So, why don't you become my… umm… lover? Or something similar… until the child is born. And… if you don't want to be with me anymore after that, then I won't push you."
"So you want us to be fake real lovers for a few months?" I ask skeptically. Isn't that the same damn thing as what I suggested? Put in nicer terms then "fuck buddies', but still the same thing! Ugh, whatever, as long as I get some, "What's in it for me?" I have to ask.
His gaze darts downwards for a split second, then he replies, "I'll relieve you of that, and then some." He grins.
"Well, I-" I pause, mulling over the offer. On one hand, I could get a lot of sex out of this, but on the other hand, the Pharaoh obviously wants to make this a 'real relationship' of some sort, which means we get to drag the emotional baggage with us. I already stated that I don't want to deal with it anymore, but he's either ignoring that or he conveniently forgot….
People, woman especially, seem to have this fantasy of love, painting it all rainbows and sunshine. In reality, just like everything else in this world, 'Love' is all black and white, but then got fucking smashed to pieces by this screwed up thing we call existence, and turned a nasty shade of grey. There's no bright rainbow colors anywhere to be seen. It's created by lust and infatuation, both of which would come from said "black" side, but theres an illusionary white side consisting of thoughts of "together forever", "soul mates", and "trust" which attempts to cover the black side, creating the said fucked up grey people only seem to see after they've been screwed over.
I'm brought out of my mental rant, and both of us blink as the doorbell rings. And for reasons beyond me, I feel the sickening feeling of dread wash over me, "Don't answer it." I whisper harshly as what started out as ringing the doorbell turned into pounding on the door.
Yami stands up and walks over the door, "It could be important…" He mumbles, though he looks like he doesn't want to answer it either. I get up and follow him downstairs, and we both stand in front of the door for a few moments, neither moving to open it.
Yami glances at me, and I reluctantly nod. Taking a deep breath, he opens the door.
And there stands none other then Seto Kaiba himself.
Misao:
Anyways… yeah… Bakura had freaky mood swings and went all whore-ish on Yami. I'm not really happy with this chapter… but I've been getting a lot of complaints on my lack of updating-ness… so it'll have to do. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter even though I didn't. XD And sorry for any spelling or grammer mistakes there might be. It's late, I'm tired. I'll get around to fixing them later...