"Ugh," groaned Bellatrix, throwing herself into the empty armchair beside her cousin, Evan Rosier. "He's pathetic."
"What?" Evan responded, looking up from his book and blinking in confusion.
"Look at him," Bellatrix clarified, pointing to the other side of the common room where Rodolphus was leaning against the wall, leaning in close to a fourth year girl as they talked. "Draping himself all over that half witted fourth year, it's disgusting."
She continued to stare over at him, a grimace curling her lip upwards. This had been happening ever since they got back from Christmas break. It seemed as if Rodolphus was on a mission to date and ditch as many girls as he could, for reasons Bellatrix couldn't fathom, or even wanted to consider for that matter.
"Is that a streak of jealousy I'm seeing?" said Evan teasingly, breaking the few seconds of uncomfortable silence which Bellatrix had spent glowering at Rodolphus on the other side of the room.
"No," she practically spat at him, like he'd just placed something disgusting in her mouth. "Of course not." She sounded more dignified this time, but still felt a hot heaviness creep across her face and chest. "I'm just embarrassed for him that's all."
"Explain," responded Evan, closing his book and putting it down on the coffee table in front of them.
"We're supposed to have standards," explained Bellatrix, her voice loud with exasperation as she continued to stare over towards the other side of the room. She sighed, realising swiftly that she might attract attention, and that was the last thing she wanted during this conversation. She brought her voice down. "I expected better of him, although I don't know why."
Bellatrix was angry with him. She didn't understand how he could be so reckless. Purebloods like them weren't supposed to see people casually, they were supposed to pick a respectable match to last a lifetime. If she couldn't escape that responsibility then why should he get to?
"You know why he's doing it, don't you?" asked Evan, sounding almost concerned.
"Why would I?" Bellatrix replied, trying to sound as bored as possible. "It's none of my business who he sees."
"Oh Merlin," sighed Evan. Bellatrix looked over, watching him shift in his seat like he was fighting the urge to drop his head into his hands. "You're a smart girl Bella, I never expected you to be this dense."
"What did you just call me?" demanded Bellatrix, her mouth gaping open in shock. Evan rolled his eyes.
"I mean," he started, looking her straight in the eyes. "It's so obvious."
"Well it obviously isn't," she responded, chewing up his words and spitting them back at him. Now she was angry with Evan too. "If I haven't figured it out."
"He's doing it to get a rise out of you," Evan confessed. Bellatrix forgot how to close her mouth.
"What?" she asked, blinking and screwing up her face as the words sank in. She shook her head, looking from Evan to Rodolphus and then at the floor. That couldn't be true.
"And by the looks of things, its working," added Evan. She was too far in shock to be angry at him, even though she could feel her body detesting the fact he was right with every cell.
"Shut up," she snapped, but she didn't sound harsh, or even intimidating. She almost sounded scared. Evan watched as she continued to shake her head, the heat that spread through her chest earlier now ice.
"It's true," said Evan. Bellatrix said nothing.
"Well…." he prompted tentatively, hoping she wasn't about to explode.
"Well why on earth would he want to do that?" Bellatrix questioned, her features still creased with confusion. Evan let out a silent groan. He was going to have to do all the work himself.
"Please don't tell me you haven't noticed he has feelings for you," he responded, causing Bellatrix to whip round in her chair so her body was angled towards her.
"He doesn't," she insisted, her tone curt.
"Trust me," Evan responded, making sure she held his gaze so she could see the genuineness in his eyes. "He does."
"He can't," continued Bellatrix, her voice tight in her throat.
"He can," Evan responded, making sure tone of his voice matched every other cue that he was telling the truth. "And he does."
Bellatrix wished Evan would disappear. She needed a moment to think about this, to consider every implication of what he'd told her. She didn't understand. Why hadn't she seen it. She was smart, she read people very well, why hadn't she noticed that her best friend, the only other person in the world besides her sisters that she rarely ever got bored of, had feelings for her. She felt almost panicked as she thought about it. It wasn't supposed to be like this, they weren't supposed to be like this.
She thought she had found the one person who truly matched her, who understood that feelings and romance were something that she would never be interested in, that she didn't need. They were close enough, she thought, that what they had didn't need any of that. Their friendship was extraordinary enough.
"Well if he's as besotted with me as you're insinuating," she argued, emphasising each word with increasing aggression. "Then why does he keep throwing himself at every girl who so much as glances in his direction?"
"Because you won't," said Evan simply. Bellatrix's mouth fell open once more.
The shock was suddenly replaced with a fury so strong it hurt. How could he be so moronic to think that would actually work? That was the most childish way to get someone's attention she'd ever heard of, not to mention counterproductive. How on earth did he think he was going to look, treating women like they were useless and disposable when that was the last way she'd ever let anybody treat her. Exemplary behaviour, her thoughts fumed sarcastically, that was really going to win her over. That was the furthest thing from what she wanted in a partner, what she'd despised about watching her parents' marriage as she grew up. In the five years they'd been friends, he'd never had any romantic relationships and neither had she. How did she know that this wasn't how he treated everyone he was with romantically?
"That's just stupid," she stated, her face twisting with contempt.
"I didn't say it made sense," argued Evan. "I just said that's why he's doing it."
"This doesn't make any sense," repeated Bellatrix, trying to deny the fact that it did, the more she considered it. "We've been friends for years."
"Feelings grow as people grow." These words sent a new wave of emotion into the tornado inside of her.
Bellatrix didn't realize just how true they were until they'd been presented to her. They brought with them a bolt so fierce that it almost knocked the anger right out of her. They made her realize that she couldn't hide any more.
An uncomfortable reality had hit Bellatrix over the Christmas holidays, when she was sat around the grand table at her aunt and uncle's house, the historic family home. Her parents started to ask about marriage, if there was anybody at Hogwarts she was considering. Her chest had caved in on itself, this had been the one thing she had spent her entire time at Hogwarts trying to outrun, the expectation of marriage. She never wanted it, but she knew it was inevitable, so she spent every moment she could living exactly how she wanted. All fun, no control or expectations from anyone.
After her silence, her parents had made it clear that if she didn't have anyone in mind, then they would start looking for suitable matches for her. That zapped her into action, she would rather die than have them take away the one tiny scrap of control she had over her fate. She told them that she had someone in mind, so they didn't have to choose for her, she just had to make the right moves. And as she was telling her parents this, she was picturing the arrogant boy with hazel eyes and a streak for mischief that mirrored her own.
She'd known after a few weeks at Hogwarts that there was something different about her friendship with Rodolphus. They were so similar, they'd clicked automatically. He was exactly the kind of person she could lose herself in while she blocked out thoughts of her impending future. As they grew from children to young adults, grew closer and more mature, she could feel things shifting between them as they naturally did, so she fought it. She detached herself from it because it wasn't what she needed. She needed him to make her forget about everything she was trying to outrun.
But that time was clearly over. She knew that as soon as the shock over the idea of Rodolphus having feelings for her turned to relief. Since it became a tiny glimmer of hope that the only person she would ever consider a relationship with was only acting like everything she didn't want as a front, that her one comfortable option wasn't permanently ruined.
"Then why not tell me instead of acting like such a piggish idiot?" she asked Evan, the almost warm feeling of acceptance being swiftly replaced by anger again.
"Because as you and I both know, Rod is a bit of a prat," said Evan, the tension in his face easing when Bellatrix laughed. "He's not good with feelings, he only knows how to deal with them by sulking or showing off."
"Well I won't argue that," added Bellatrix, feeling some of the heat leave her face as Evan smiled.
"And you're not exactly the easiest of people to communicate with," Evan continued. She narrowed her eyes at him. "With all due respect."
"Well he should know me well enough to know that flinging himself at any girl that looks at him would never work," Bellatrix stated.
"But he's blind sighted," Evan defended. "And if you ask me, a little desperate." Evan emphasised his point with a small grimace. "He wasn't getting a reaction from you on his own, so he had to create one."
"And how do you know so much about how he feels?" asked Bellatrix, feeling the need to expel the last traces of defensiveness lingering in her chest, and to make sure that he wasn't giving her the wrong idea because he approved of them being together. She couldn't be messed around with this.
"Well aside from the fact he's been about as subtle as a bludger to the face," answered Evan, finding it almost humorous that Bellatrix was still questioning it at this point. "He talks to me."
"You two talk about me?" she responded, her tone either concerned or threatening. Evan couldn't tell.
"A little," he said quickly. "That's not the point."
Bellatrix shook her head. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Rodolphus and the other girl were no longer there. She hadn't paid attention to him leaving.
"So if you want it to stop," Evan began, breaking the small silence. "And I assume that you do, then you better act fast dear cousin." With that he grabbed his book and left.
Bellatrix knew he was right, in that moment she knew that she couldn't deny her reality any longer, she needed to act.