Authors note: Gotcha! You really didn't think that I would leave you with such a cliff-hanger for long did you? ;)
The dinner with all the Glee clubbers should be up next, then comes the movie scenes and what not. Also just want to say that I am so happy for all the Britanna shippers, if only Faberry would happen.
Please review! : )
XX
"No ..I want too."
Rachel didn't know what to expect, her heart was pounding at Quinn's indirect admission.
Quinn was ..is gay, since when? High school? College? Everyone experiments in college but this just took the biscuit.
If Rachel really thought about it, she guessed it was kind of obvious. Head cheerleader, president of the celibacy club, she never seemed to care much for her boyfriends, Finn and same seemed to fall by the wayside everytime they were with her. As far as Rachel knew, Quinn had never been intimate with either of them.
The blonde lowered her gaze to the floor, her cheeks suddenly burning with embarrassment. But se couldn't stop now, it was like a dam had burst and everything was pouring out.
"It's just hard for me to talk about, I'm not used to ..being this open with people."
The brunette let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, and reached out to pat Quinn's knee in silent encouragement. The blonde never fell apart, never let the mask slip and here she was letting Rachel in. She may still be in shock but she wasn't a bitch, Quinn was upset and she needed a friend right now.
"Take all the time you need." She lifted the blonde's chin gently, smiling softly at the struggling girl before her.
Quinn blinked and returned the timid smile, grasping at the words that were whizzing around her brain, confusing her. She decided to just come right out and say what she was feeling, consequences be damned, she needed this right now.
"Rachel, do you remember that picture of me in my apartment, the one that you were looking at when you um visited me with Emily?"
You mean the picture that makes you look like a fallen angel that just happened to get snapped on her way down, that picture? Hmm ..I think so.
"Of course I remember, it was beautiful."
Quinn blushed at the compliment before continuing.
"My ex girlfriend took that picture."
Oh.
The brunette's eyes widened at the admission, that was unexpected.
Quinn took in her reaction and nodded.
"Yeah, she was a photographer, an amazingly talented photographer actually. I met her three months after I moved here, we both grabbed for the last vegan lasagne in the supermarket."
They both laughed as they realized how cliché Quinn sounded.
"Her name was Lea."
Lea? That's a stupid name, it's too short.
Rachel realized she would eventually have to speak so she plucked a random question out of the hundreds that were buzzing in her ears.
"A-and how long were you and ..Lea together?"
It even sounded wrong when you said it. L-e-a ..Leeeaaaa. Nope still don't like it.
Quinn fidgeted slightly in her seat, playing with the silver bracelet hanging on her wrist.
"We were together for two years, and friends for one before we became romantically involved."
Whoa, this wasn't just a fling then? Go Lea.
"So it was serious?"
"Quite serious, yes."
Rachel felt an irrational stab of jealously and decided that she was simply relating to Quinn's story. Yeah that was it.
"And are you two still ..?"
She almost didn't want to hear the answer.
Almost.
"No. We broke up six months ago, she collected the last of her stuff that day we met with Gerry in the restaurant."
"So that's why you were late?" questioned the brunette, piecing everything together.
The blonde nodded.
"I'm sorry Quinn, were you in love with her?"
She stayed with her for two years, of course she loved her stupid.
To her surprise, the blonde frowned instantly.
Quinn glanced at the brunette wondering if she wanted to answer such a personal question, she didn't do this, she was above all an extremely private person, even in High School. Rachel seemed to weaken her defences, knock down her walls. Make her want to share.
"You know whenever my Uncle came to visit for Christmas, he had this saying that has always stuck with me. He would sit me on his knee, take a deep drag for his cigar and say "When you grow up to love someone Quinnie, you have to love it all. Otherwise it ain't love."
Rachel smiled lightly at the blonde's loving words, drawling them out one by one in her generic boy voice.
"The point is I didn't love everything. I loved bits and pieces, trying to make our relationship work was like trying to complete a jigsaw without all the pieces. We just didn't fit."
The brunette was shocked at how eloquently the blonde could speak, even with a half bottle of tequila coursing through her veins.
"And why did it end?"
The blonde glanced at her questioningly.
Rachel shook her head, realizing she needed to elaborate.
"No I understand what your saying about the love aspect of it, it's just, well you must have known that you weren't right for each other but you stayed together anyway. What was the trigger for the breakup? What gave you that final push to end things?"
Quinn bobbed her head slightly, indicating that she understood the question.
"She proposed to me."
Rachel gasped audibly.
"So she proposed and you said no?"
Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose guiltily, what happened to all their drunken light-hearted banter? When did everything get so heavy?
"Not ..exactly."
Rachel's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"What do you mean "no exactly" Quinn Fabray if you left that poor girl at the alter I swear I'm going to –"
"Rachel no, no nothing like that."
Quinn sighed, this was her first time telling anybody what had really happened between her and Lea. It hurt to think about.
"When Lea proposed to me, I said yes. She was ecstatic of course, insisted that we go to Lima and tell my mother."
The blonde held up a hand, sensing that the brunette was about to interrupt.
"My mom threw my Dad out after she caught him cheating for the third time, he's been gone for more than a year now, falling apart without her of course. But she sobered up and while she knows I'm gay and after we had a lot of long winded arguments about hell and the evils of homosexuality, she eventually agreed to at least tolerate the lifestyle I had chosen."
Rachel nodded, her question answered.
"Anyway, while we were driving through Lima, I had a sentimental moment and decided to take a bit of a stroll down memory lane. A half an hour later myself and Lea were entering McKinley High School. It was weird at first, everything looked the same but different. Passing my old locker, remembering how people would part like the red sea for me wherever I went. Remembering all the times I slushied you."
Quinn paused at this point, her voice lowered to a whisper so that Rachel could had to lean forward and strain her ears to hear.
"I went into the old choir room, everything looked frozen in time. I could practically see everyone sitting in their usual seats waiting for Mr Schue to come in and start practice. The colours, the piano, everything. Our group photo from Sectionals was hanging just inside the door. I went over just to look at it, I didn't expect the emotions that came with it, I started having all these flashbacks of Mr Schuester, telling us to be true to ourselves, to follow our hearts. And that's when I realized."
Rachel was on the edge of her seat, hanging on her every word, she couldn't tear her eyes away.
"Realized what Quinn?" she whispered gently, urging the girl on.
"I realized that i was sixteen again."
The blonde raised her shimmering eyes to meet the brunette's.
"Oh Rachel don' t you see? I was settling. Lea was Finn. I settled for him in High School because he was nice and well he was there, and I realized that I was doing the same to Lea and she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve what I was doing to her. So I ended it, for both our sakes."
Quinn was openly crying now, begging the brunette to understand.
"Quinn?"
The blonde shook her head, tears falling to the floor as she fixed her gaze on her own shoes.
"Quinn look at me please."
She merely continued to shake her head, she couldn't stand the anger, the disgust the brunette must surely be feeling towards her right now.
Rachel reached out and gently wiped away Quinn's tears, tilting her head so their gazes locked.
"You did the right thing."
Quinn threw her arms around Rachel and sobbed her heart out.
XX
The two remained locked in that embrace until small beams of watery sunlight sliced their way into the room, brightening the kitchen and warming the air.
Rachel pulled away first, tucking a strand of hair behind the blonde's ear and giving her a watery smile.
"Hey" she whispered.
Quinn sniffled adorably, meeting her gaze with vulnerable eyes.
"Hey"
"Do you want to get some sleep now? It's still really early."
The blonde nodded mutely, she was completely exhausted, twice she had almost drifted off in the shorter girls arms.
Rachel reached a hand out to Quinn which she took gratefully, allowing herself to be lead through the kitchen and up the stairs.
"So I guess I'll see you in the morning?"
Quinn nodded mutely, shuffling into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the wall.
"Good night."
"Good night Rachel."
The brunette sighed and made her way to her own bedroom, feeling uneasy at the parting. Opening her wardrobe she grabbed a tank top and short shorts, discarding her clothing and quickly changing into her makeshift pyjama's. When she came out, she flipped off the lights and crawled into bed, tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable spot. Eventually she stopped moving and lay there, wide awake, she couldn't sleep knowing that Quinn was upset in the next room.
She's probably asleep, maybe I should check on her.
The brunette half-rose, cocking her head to one side as though she could hear the blonde sleeping through the wall. She bit her lip, gazing at the sliver of light coming through her heavy curtains.
After a few moment of internal debate she snapped and leapt out of bed, creeping quietly towards the silent guest room, ears strained for any hint of noise.
She gently pushed the door aside and smiled, Quinn was lying on the bed wide awake, her eyes finding Rachel's in surprise.
She sat up slightly.
"Hi"
"Hi" replied the brunette, balancing from foot to foot and rubbing her arms absentmindedly, cold now that she had left her warm bed.
The blonde looked at her questioningly.
Oh right why am I here again?
"I came to see if you wanted some bed clothes, I just remembered you didn't have any."
Quinn smiled at her thoughtfulness.
"Yeah, these jeans are kind of restricting." She giggled slightly, pulling the covers aside and revealing her fully-clothed, shoes and all.
"Follow me then"
They made the short trip to Rachel's closet and the brunette picked out a white tank top and shorts for Quinn. She then left, giving the blonde some privacy to change.
The blonde came out of the closet shortly after.
"How do I look?" teased the taller girl, doing a pirouette.
"Beautiful, but tired. You need some sleep, c'mon I'll walk you back" replied the brunette, trying not to stare at the porcelain legs in front of her.
They retraced their steps and stood at the entrance to the guest bedroom, neither wanting to be alone.
Rachel seemed to sense Quinn's reluctance.
"Wh-why don't you sleep in my bed tonight?"
Quinn glanced at the brunette, she knew what she was doing.
"Rachel you don't have to .."
"I want to."
The blonde smiled, touched.
"Okay. Thank you."
Once again, the brunette led the way, guiding the exhausted Quinn to the side of her bed and lifting the covers so the blonde could scramble under straightaway, shivering at the cold sheets.
Rachel shut the drapes and got into bed beside the suddenly still blonde, assuming she had already fallen asleep, the brunette shut her eyes and began drifting off when she felt the blonde begin to move, a warm arm suddenly wrapped tight around her waist.
"Thank you." Mumbled the sleepy Quinn.
Rachel responded by entwining their fingers and giving the warm hand encased in hers a gentle squeeze, trying to convey how she felt.
She lay awake, listening to the sound of the calm steady breathing coming from Quinn.
It was only when she felt the hand holding her own curl tighter about hers did she realize.
If Quinn was settling for Lea, then who did she really want?