The air bites at our skin as we continue to walk. We have no destination, only the bustling noise of the crowds and the bright glow of festive lights. And as we drift further and further from the center of square, I can't help but enjoy our silence and her presence, even through my own uncertainty.
Despite what just happened, I keep wondering if perhaps the meaning of my words hadn't made it to Ayane as I had intended them. Did what I say really count as a confession? Did she take it as one? Did she even accept my strange, roundabout confession? The last words between us were my agreeing to attend the party and bring her along.
What will I do if she rejects me after all, I wonder? Am I capable of staying friends with her without my feelings getting in the way? I surely can't stay away from her anymore; not after the mess I became without her the last month. In the end, I realize that my whole being now hinges upon this girl's answer. In a way, it always has; but now, my undoing is much closer and more likely than it has been since that first day at the hospital. It's not like it was with Mizutani, I was right about that much. This is much more important than she ever was.
"I lied, you know," Ayane says, finally breaking our silence. "Earlier, when you asked if I was okay. I told you I was, but that's probably the furthest thing from the truth."
"Ayane…" I start, trailing off into nothingness.
"Even that night, I could tell you had gotten upset. It looked like you were fighting some kind of war inside your own head. I felt awful for saying something so cruel as to cause that."
"You didn't cause that, Ayane. You just made me think, and I let my thoughts spiral out of control."
"I wanted to make it better, after that. So when you stopped talking to me, I thought that I had ruined everything for good. It got so bad, my friends started trying to set me up on dates. I was supposed to go on one tonight, but I got your email just in time to cancel."
Our silence resumes, and her words eat at me until I can no longer take it.
"Ayane, I'm sorr-"
"I just noticed something, Kenji," Ayane interrupts. "You've been calling me 'Ayane' all night. When did you start doing that?"
"About the same time I first admitted to someone that I love you," I say following the slightest bit of hesitation. I glance over to see that Ayane has turned beet red, mouth gaping open.
"That's not fair, Kenji!" she scolds. "You can't just say it like that without warning."
She pulls on my arm in an attempt to punish me for it, only succeeding in causing me a minor inconvenience.
"You could have at least said it in a way where I can say it back," she sulks.
"You pretty much did when you admitted to bailing on a date to come be with me," I retort.
"Yeah, but I didn't actually say it. Now I have to force the situation to tell you that I love you."
"Well, I'd say that line worked pretty well for something you tried to force."
As Ayane continues to complain and scold me for undermining her attempts to confess, I stop walking and realize something. I have no idea where we're at.
Bonus chapter because I'm a dolt and forgot to write my favorite scene I had planned for this story! I hope you all enjoyed, because this is unfortunately the true end of Attractive Today. Thank you all once again for reading, it means so much that I could keep you all entertained for a while.